I heard the sound of heavy leather boots slowly thudding down the hallway. I shuddered when I heard laughs, it's a strong sign that he's drunk. My stepdad Trey griped the door knob and twisted it open. The foul stench of alcohol and weed filled the room as I coughed heavily.

I hate and can't stand the smell. It's putrid. It makes me wanna throw up.

He snickered at me as he took his belt off. I gulped and pressed my quivering body against the wall. The tall man gripped my white or platinum blonde hair as some call it and lifted me up. My eyes water in pain. My scalp feels like it's on fire.

He slams my head against the wall over and over again, creating a dent each time. I want to fight back, but I can't. I get thrown to the ground and repeatedly kick in my stomach and back. Blood spills out my mouth as I cough and splutter. He stops. I know what happens next.

My clothes get shredded from my bashed body as I slowly start to whimper. I see him take off his pants and boxers and well....rape me.

It was worse than being abused. The pain was unbearable, it felt like a knife being jammed up my ass and having twisted around. I squeeze my eyes shut, tears flowing down my cold cheeks. I'm starting to feel light headed, my hands and knees give in as I feel my body slam against the floor. I gasped as I felt my air being knocked out of me.

Finally I feel him stop. I'm still crying and sore. He took my innocence. He pulled his boxers and pants up and walked out, slamming the door behind him. Hear him lock it and, the sound of his boots slowly start to fade.

I curl up into a ball and sniffle. What did I ever do to deserve this? Why am I never good enough. Why can't he just love me? I try. So hard. I try to be a good child. I try so hard to be everything that they want me to be. But can't. I just can't. I want him to stop. I want to tell mum. I only just realised that I'm crying. How pathetic. I can't even stop myself from crying. I'm only a little boy, five years old. Yet this is my life. That was only a mild beating and rape. Sometimes he uses weapons and doesn't stop. He burns my face in hot boiling oil and, makes me carry heavy weights until he hears my bones snap.

Why am I not good enough? I suppose I'll never know but, I do know that this isn't gonna stop....

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