My throat burns. My muscles ache. I can't feel my face because of the amount of times he beat me there.

I want a hug too make me warm. I want someone's shoulder to cry on.

She left me. My own mother. My father also left me. As soon as I was born. Im a mistake and everyone knows it.

I'm a freak,

A loser,

A poisonous beast,

A criminal,

A thug,

And most importantly. A monster.

I can still hear the ear splitting screams of my 'victims', begging for mercy. Their pale faces and wide eyes still haunt me to this day. I always have the feeling that their watching me. Their soulless eyes piercing into my heart.

Wait...what heart?

I don't have one, anymore. I'm hollow and dead inside. My depression and anxiety gets worse each day,making me want to leave this place.

I also don't have a girlfriend or boyfriend. I don't do 'relationships' no. I do fuck and run. I'm at horrible love no matter how hard I try to put effort in.

Heck I'm a horrible person. I have anger issues and low self esteem, which isn't a good mix. I also have trust issues, I may seem like I'm in love or someone's friend but, I'm extremely cautious and ready to fight any one, and anything that moves.

I do have friends but, each have a tough or bad background. I still am cautious about them, in fact I'm just waiting to tell my secrets to one and have my back stabbed.

I hurt, Most people do, But I hurt more.

Under this tough 'gangster image' a scared child lays. I can't remember the last time I cried but, tears are forever welling up in my eyes, waiting to bust out.

Who am I? I don't even know anymore. I'm a person but, barely. I have a life. But I hate it.

I can't do it anymore, but I have to, for my family and friends. And that's the part that hurts most, knowing that I'm letting them down.