Bij u thot i was done i wasnt hA

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Beep.

"She's breathing!"

Beep

"Quick call someone! She's alive!"

Beep

"Noona is alive, I'm okay. Noona is aliv-"

My eyes hurt.

My fingers were frozen, I felt like a corpse.

My whole body ached, the sensation of it was the worst thing I've ever felt ; as if I was dead for the past few days and I woke up from the dead.

A hand stroked my cheek, with warmth and care.

"I love you."

• • • • •

"Lia, you're awake," - was the first sentence that I heard once I was conscious.

I forced myself to open my eyes, squinting at the sudden bright light that was flashing on my face. On my right, a figure was staring at me in tears. My left hand was held by someone, and I couldn't understand what was happening.

Finally, I remembered.

"You're alive," Seungcheol hyung breathes out, breaking into tears as he saw me move. Hansol was on the other side, holding onto my hand tightly.

"Where's Jeonghan?" I managed to croak out "he's...he's alive right..?"

Seungcheol hyung didn't seem too happy at my question as soon as I woke up, but he answered anyway.

"Of course he is," Seungcheol smiles.

"Where is he? Can I see him?" I ask. Jeonghan, he didn't die oh god-

"No, Lia, he went back to L.A."

"What...?"

Seungcheol hyung sighed, "A lot happened while you were out. Jeonghan caught a cold and a few days later he wanted to go back to L.A because his parents were sick," He explained, and I just couldn't seem to get it - he left?

Parents...?

"I thought he doesn't have-"

"Anyway, he told me to give this to you." Seungcheol hyung cutted me off first, handing me a white envelope "me and Hansol are gonna head out for a while, we're going to settle the doctor stuff. Read the letter, I'm sure he misses you." Hansol let go of my hand and trailed after hyung, as they both exited the room.

Somehow, I have a bad feeling about this.

When I opened rhe envelope there was a card, it was handwritten - probably Jeonghan's handwriting - followed bt three feathers ; each of them white, black, amd white with black dipped at the end.

Funny thing ; the feathers smelled like he did.

I opened the letter to read it.

"Choi Amelia,

Calling you Amelia sounds weird, Lia sounds better instead. You don't know how much I fell for you when I first saw you. Your awkwardness was really cute, and I found that really entertaining.

We developed feelings for each other soon enough, I've been longing to kiss you when we did for the first time. You were so slow at catching things up - and it made me frustrated, but I realized it was one of your charms.

I'm sorry for not telling you earlier about my leave - you're probably awake and better by the time you read this.

I know I love you Lia, but somehow I feel like things just didn't work out between us."

I stopped reading.

What ?

"Lia, I hope you understand. I'm going to be gone for a very long time - and I heard long distance relationships were the hardest to face. Even if we still contact each other everyday, I'll still be missing you. I'll miss your touch, your lips ; everything.

Something just bothered me - the fact that you never said "i love you too" back to me whenever I told you I loved you. It was like you never took my words seriously, and I was hurt. And therefore I'm giving you time for thinking while I'm gone.

Lia, I love you, and its the reason why I'm doing this. Its for our sake. I hope we stop seeing each other and stop contacting each other, so we'll move on.

It's not me but it's you, Lia, I'll hope by the time I come back after my visit to my parents, you'll be able to love someone else like you should.

Things are over between us, Lia.

I hope you'll move on.

I love you, Lia.

- Jeonghan

The tears in my eyes fell as I read the last sentence.

I clutched the letter to my chest, everything fucking hurts.

Parents? He told me he didn't have any.

Things didn't work out? Impossible.

Jeonghan's promise not to leave me? Bullshit.

"Yoon Jeonghan, you fucking liar."