EVERYTHING WRONG WITH: JUSTICE LEAGUE - SUPERMAN VS LOIS LANE

IN 2 PARTS OR LESS

SPOILERS!

(DUH)

Publisher's Note: I am not @SuperiorNan, the creator of this story. I'm just someone who desperately wants there to be more from StorySins and for people realize that no story is without sin (and then immediately gets reported for shamelessly stealing the style of not just one, but two previous publishers). Much like the author of the story I'll be discussing, I do not own these characters or places, and all courtesy goes to DC Comics, who appears to have stopped caring about it's classic characters at this point, and seems more than content to ruin my TimSteph dreams any chance they get. Let's hope YJ season 4 fixes things and without further adieu we can begin with...

Author who wants to stray away from cliches starts his rant with an author's note. *Ding*

Okay, here's some adieu: I've been watching a lot of Th3Birdman, and it opened my eyes to the fact that CinemaSins' way of criticizing is flawed. So I'm going to be better and actually dive into specifics on what's a sin and what's a joke! So, here's how I'll be sinning the book: real criticisms will get the normal *Ding* sound-effect (and I'll expand on it later). Whenever I make a joke, I'll make a sound that's similar to a buzzer from a game show *Bzzt*, and for nitpicks; the critiques that aren't super concrete or are just things that bother me, I'll sound a gong *Gong*.

As for actual sins, I'll specify why every one of them is a problem, by adding a letter next to the ding:
• Letter S is for story-related sins: contradictions, plot-holes, contrived stuff...
• Letter C is for character-related sins: out-of-character behavior mostly, but also dumb dialogue and poor motivations.
• Letter G is for grammar-related sins: misspelling, words not meaning what they're supposed to, I think this one's pretty self explanatory...

And now... let us begin!

.......................................................................................................

Chapter 1 - One Fateful Day...

He took a seat on one of the chairs, mumbling to himself, why he hasn't saved her in time.

Since this sentence ends with a period and not a question mark, I am only left to assume that he didn't save her in time because he sat on a chair and mumbled to himself. *Ding G*

Because secretly, aside from being a writer working in the Daily Planet, Clark Kent saves the day, mostly Lois Lane, but also the day, as Superman!

Dun dun dun! *Gong* *Dzzt*

Also, my God the abuse of commas in this sentence. *Ding G*

Also also, Clark is apparently a writer and not a reporter. The author wrote in the description that they're a huge fan of Geoff Jones, yet they can't even get Superman's job right, making me question their fan status almost immediately. *Ding S*

The rich businessman, Lex Luthor, CEO of LexCorp, had his security woman Mercy Graves kidnap her. He strapped her shut on a platform, unbuttoned her office jacket and exposed her to deadly radiation.

And thus we get the origin story for how Lois Lane became the Incredible Hulk. Wait... *Bzzt*

Lex Luthor planted a bomb at the bottom of a rival business building. Superman had two choices. He had to leave Lois.

But he can also rewind time, so I don't see any conflict here. *Bzzt*

Her neck down to her cleavage to her abdomen were exposed...

Why mention her cleavage when neck to abdomen is already good enough. I think I know the answer. *Gong*

The nano-particles in the light have already penetrated her skin and were already streaming her blood, threatening her life.

But a second ago you said it was radiation. You can have one or the other, author, but not both. *Ding S*

Also, using 'already' twice for no reason. *Ding G*

Also also, instead of saying "streaming THROUGH her blood" the story says "streaming her blood", making one assume that the nano-particles are making her blood flow. Which is a good thing. *Ding G*

Angered, Superman threw Lex out of the window and knocked Mercy unconscious.

What is this, 'Man of Steel'? *Bzzt* *Ding C*

"Is Lois okay?" Clark asked immediately.

"She is, Mister Kent. However, we had to remove most of her blood. If you--"

Immediately showcasing why you wouldn't want to be assigned to this doctor. *Ding C*

"But sir, we would require most of your blood. This operation could lead you to Anemia." The Doctor warned him.

*Bzzt*

Also, why ask him to be her donor if you're going to discourage him of doing it immediately after? *Ding C*

Finally, this doctor was apparently qualified enough to make an operation where they removed most of Lois' blood, yet he doesn't know that Anemia happens to the one receiving blood and only if their body rejects it? *Ding C*

"I'm sorry, Lois. I had to save a..."

"A building that exploded. I know. And I'm alright, Clark. It's fine."

"But I-- I almost lost you."

"You're sweet." Lois said, kissing him.

Not a sin (yet), but seeing these two interact in such a believable way considering their personalities makes it all the more devastating and baffling when you see how they're portrayed for the rest of the story.

"Why'd you do it, Bruce?!" He asked Bruce Wayne that night.

Clark is referring to Batman having saved Lex Luthor from his attempted murder. The fact that he not only isn't guilt-ridden after having thrown a man out a window but has the balls to chastise the man who saved him from being a super-murderer is really telling to the fact that this author does not understand Superman. *Ding C*

Before anybody brings up Injustice, in that universe Superman actually suffered heavy losses, unlike here where he actually saved everybody. Plus it's been long enough for Sups to calm down and realize that what he did was wrong.

"Why care?" Clark asked.

You're kidding, right? *Ding C*

"Because your emotions are unstable, like everyone else. You throw a tantrum and we face Armageddon. You aren't Human and yet you act more immature than one." Bruce said.

Batman has stated, in multiple occasions, that he considers Superman to be more Human than himself. This last sentence is complete bulls**t. *Ding C*

"You aren't the Joker, Clark. Don't act like it. You try too hard. This conversation is over." Bruce said.

Meaningless platitude coming from the goddamn Batman! *Ding C*

"Bruce, did you hear tha-- oh, son of a bitch I hat it when he does that!"

Superman cussing. I think that should earn you an extra sin. *Gong*

Also, where did Bruce even disappear to? They're in the Batcave! *Gong*

Chapter 2 - Kryptonian Blood

In an alley way behind the facility [the Daily Planet], Lois decided to reveal her long awaited secret.

She lifted up a dumpster filled to the brim with a single hand.

"Character gets superpowers from blood transfusion" cliché. *Gong*

"Oh, uh, yeah." He said, doubtedly, knowing she doesn't need his rescuing anymore, and without that, his existence would be without purpose.

"Doubtedly" *Ding G*

And of course, let's not ignore the fact that this Superman's only purpose in life in to save Lois Lane apparently. Ignoring how this paints him as incredibly selfish when you take the rest of humanity into account, this does make one question why Clark saved the people from the building explosion and not Lois. This sentence is not only a slap in the face to Superman's morals, it's also inconsistent with the previous chapter. *Ding C* *Ding S*

"I don't need your protection anymore. Isn't that great??" She was overjoyed, while he wasn't so much.

This definitely is a good thing. Lois has probably been captured or threatened more than any other superhero love interest and rescuing her over and over has to be tiring even for Clark; not to mention that now that she can handle any would-be-kidnappers herself, Clark has a lot more time to save many more people who otherwise could've died while he was busy. These things plus the interaction with Bruce in the first chapter shows that this author doesn't understand these characters. *Ding C*

"We could fly together, Clark. Let us be together." She added, soothing his thoughts.

Sorry, Grant Morrison called; he already did this Lois gets superpowers thing and he did it much better. *Gong*

"No. Lois, it's too dangerous. I could barely get past Lex... I couldn't... I couldn't lose you too..." Clark said.

While this sentence is meaningless (especially now that Lois has superpowers), I have to give credit that the author at least spelled 'lose' correctly. I have seen people write 'loose' when they meant to write 'lose' so many times, it's kind of refreshing, to be honest. Minus one sin. *gniD*

Unknown to them, Bruce is at the watchtower, watching them.

How exactly? Did he set up a camera in the alley way and coincidentally caught them talking? If there's no camera, HOW IS BRUCE MONITORING THEM FROM SPACE?! *Ding S*

"I thought so. Emotionally unstable." He murmured to himself.

This story thinks that its poor writing can be excused with Bruce being a good detective; since nothing up to this point has hinted that either of them are 'emotionally unstable'. We'll later find out that he was talking about Lois, which is ridiculous because from what we got of her so far, she's been acting perfectly normal. *Ding S*

"Emotions are for the weak." Bruce replied.

Bruce Wayne is the probably the most emotionally character in the DC mythos. He only hides his emotions because of the heavy losses he suffered. This dialogue is not only out of character for Bruce, but is also generic edgy dialogue, and despite what Robert Patterson might've convinced you, Batman is not an edgy teenager in an adult's body. *Ding C*

"Hey, it's Clark's birthday a week from now. You have your gift yet?" She [Diana] asked.

"A cheque from Wayne Enterprises." He replied sarcastically.

Shamelessly ripping off "For the Man Who Has Everything". *Ding S*

Chapter 3 - Emotionally Unstable

The first one at the Fortress of Solitude, Lois hid in a closet, peeking out to see when Clark arrives.

Tense swap. *Ding G*

Also, trying to surprise the man with X-Ray vision by hiding in a closet. *Ding C*

The second ones were Bruce and Diana. Diana suggested they turn off the lights, Bruce disappeared in the Dark.

Pretty soon, Clark reached the Fortress.

"Surprise!!" Diana shouted.

And ONLY Diana. Now, I'm not an expert in surprise parties, but from what I know, everyone usually jumps and says 'surprise' together. The only reason this story ignores common sense and has it so Diana is the only one who surprises him is because this is the event that sets the rest of the story in motion. And because this event might be the most contrived I've ever read, it makes the rest of the story automatically worse. In fact, I'm giving this one oversight two sing! *Ding S* *Ding S*

"How do you like your party?" She asked.

The party hasn't even started yet! *Gong*

"Well," he [Clark] answered, sweeping her off her feet, kissing her.

*Ding C*

Okay, I'm probably exaggerating, but this is at least some form of sexual assault. SUPERMAN. COMMITED. SEXUAL ASSAULT!5× *Ding C*

"... Clark, I trusted you. I loved you. How could you break my heart like this?" She asked, tears started to stream down her face.

Good question, Lois. One that the story doesn't care enough to answer. *Ding S*

"Her emotions are more unstable than yours, Clark. What have you done?" He asked.

Story plays the pronoun game so that I have to ask who the hell 'he' is? *Ding G*

Unknown to them, Lois flew off somewhere remote, angered.

She screamed releasing heat from her eyes, burning the forests around her.

After the ruins of the forest fire she flew down, crying, having no direction or an idea what to do.

To be perfectly fair, this was a pretty good description of how devastated Lois is. It's short and lacking, but I'll take the good moments of this story while I can get them. *gniD*

"Slade Wilson, at your service. You probably know me as Deathstroke." said a man with an eyepatch over his right eye and a thick mustache leading to a thick goatee.

"I heard a certain someone broke your heart. I think you deserve someone you can trust." Slade said.

F***ing what?! How did you hear about Superman's departure into non-consensual adulatory? It literally just happened, and it happened in the FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE! *Ding S*

Also, why should she trust you, Slade? You two literally just met. *Ding C*

"But you're a criminal. You're a villain." Lois whimpered.

"I do what I know is right, Miss Lane. Like Batman and Green Arrow. I follow my own rules." He replied.

The f***ing f**k?! The only thing you have in common with these two is the fact that you don't have any superhuman abilities, per say, and that you use weapons! Deathstroke is a mercenary for f**k's sake! He doesn't do what he knows is right, he does anything the people who pay him tell him to do! And if you don't believe me, allow me to remind you of that time he and Terra, an underage girl, had a SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP while she was infiltrating the Titans for him! How's that for 'I do what I know is right'? *Ding C* *Ding S*

"I still don't trust you." Lois said upfront.

"Maybe I could change that." Slade said, holding out his hand.

Lois wiped the tear off her eye and took his palm.

"Okay." She sniffed.

You DO NOT win a Pulitzer prize by being this dumb and gullible! Lois Lane almost has like a sixth sense for detecting bullsh*tters, which is why she suspected Lex Luthor wasn't the benevolent businessman he made himself out to be. And even if she wasn't then I can at least assume that she's an adult WHO KNOWS NOT TO TRUST MERCENARIES WITH EYE-PATCHES! *Ding C* 

"I want to hurt Superman, but I can't do that when the League stops me. Batman and Green Arrow are bad enough. I'll need a villain team." Lois said.

There are many ways you can hurt Superman without needing a villain team, Lane! If you're really determined to hurt him, you could just reveal his identity. Why bother going with a team of villains? *Ding C*

"Lex." was the first name Lois said when she entered the lair of villains.

Story expects me to believe that Lois is so pissed at Clark that she's willing to team up with the guy who tried to murder her probably well over a hundred times; but story is wrong! *Ding C*

Chapter 4 - Mayhem at Metropolis

"Lois!! Where have you been?" Jimmy asked when Lois decided to show up for work a week later.

She had a WEEK to calm down and consider her actions, and she STILL decided to go with what's about to happen?! Before any of you claim that Batman said she was 'emotionally unstable', that is not an excuse for her to act completely against logic, AND that statement wasn't true until after she got her heart broken! GAH! *Ding C*

Also, we saw Lex Luthor, Deathstroke and Black Manta in the Hall of Doom, and there were probably more. So how the f*** did it take her a week to plan all this out with the amount of resources she had available? *Ding S*

"Lois, look. About what happened at the fortress. It was just a kiss, it didn't mean--" Clark explained.

"Shut it, Kent. I'm over it." Lois shouted.

Shouting that you're "over it" does not help your case, Lois. *Gong*

"Really?" Clark exclaimed, his eyes wide with shock, returning to normal, he said, "I just want you to know that I'm sorry Lois. Can we still be friends?"

Clark buys it! And because he's basically a living lie detector this is even more insulting! *Ding C*

"No, Clark. We're through. You broke my heart you bastard." Lois said.

Wait, but isn't that what he said? He asked if they could still be friends and her response was "I'm breaking up with you"? *Ding S*

Also, so much for "I'm over it". *Gong*

"You think my heart can be fixed in a week!? Kryptonian!!??" She screamed.

There are a few things wrong here: First, Clark never assumed that her heart was fixed, so that's just Lois putting words in his mouth. *Ding S*

Second, why would she use 'Kryptonian' as a derogatory term when at this point she's basically a Kryptonian herself? *Ding C*

Third, the sentence is written really awkwardly! It should've been "You think my heart can be fixed in a week, Kryptonian?!" *Ding G*

Amazing! This one sentence got one sin of each kind!

"Metropolis will pay, Clark. It's on your account. Doomsday." Lois called.

But literally why? Okay, she's mad at Clark, I get it! I'm mad at him too; but the citizens of Metropolis did literally nothing wrong! Let's also not forget the fact that there's a likelihood that her father and sister live in Metropolis, and even if they don't her friends from the Daily Planet definitely do. All I'm saying is that even if you are 'emotionally unstable' (whatever that means), there are a few steps between "heartbreak" and "megalomania". *Ding C*

"Yes, Lois?" The creature asked.

The f***?! Did Doomsday just talk? *Gong*

"Bizarro, free the prisoners at Stryker's island." Lois commanded.

"Yes, Lois." Bizarro replied.

Bizarro's whole thing is that he says the opposite of what he means, so he just said "no". The problem here is that he actually follows her order. This seems like something small, but that's Bizarro's whole thing! How the f*** can you get it wrong?! *Ding S*

"And Clark, I found someone who goes by Deathstroke." She replied, flying off.

Hearing this, Clark's heart broke, weakening him.

What?! Okay, first of all, all she said was that she found Deathstroke, there was nothing that could even be remotely interpreted as "I have a new boy-toy". *Ding G*

But more importantly: HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK?! This is a story about a woman gaining superpowers from a blood transfusion from her alien boyfriend, and yet 'someone's heart breaking making them physically weaker' is somehow the stupidest thing so far. *Ding S*

Outside, Lois was already rampaging through the town with her laser eyes, crashing down buildings.

Calling it 'laser eyes'. *Ding S*

People rushed to the bridge to escape metropolis, but it was too late. Every escaped supervillain that escaped Stryker's Island had broken down every bridge. Every building crashed. Millions dead.

I think this author is severely underestimating how big a million really is. All we know for sure happened is that Lois used her HEAT VISION to cut through some buildings. Physically speaking, it would be impossible for millions to die from just that. S***, after Superman's fight with Zod in Man of Steel there were 'only' 129 thousand deaths, and these two wrecked the whole city! *Ding S*

"NO!!!!!" He shot laser eyes at Doomsday.

The way this sentence is written makes it sound like Supes just pulled out a gun and started shooting eyes that fired laser-beams. *Ding G*

"I HAD ENOUGH!!!!!!" The injured Kryptonian screamed.

Superman would be great at CinemaSins. *Bzzt*

"Please, Kal-El. Stop." He [Doomsday] begged.

Doomsday's name isn't just for show. It's an accurate descriptor of what he is: a doomsday device. A heartless and mindless being with only one goal: bringing death. And even the more intelligent versions of Doomsday had the decency to not care about their own "lives", since they're pretty much unkillable. Making Doomsday beg for mercy doesn't only diminish his intimidating factor, but is also a huge insult. *Ding C*

"No. Kal-El is long gone." Superman replied, finally killing him.

I guess the point in humanizing Doomsday (God, that feels weird) was to make Superman killing him a big deal; however, this is never brought up again, making it pointless. *Ding S*

Chapter 5 - The League is in Danger

"Hello, Hal." Lois said.

How does Lois know GL's secret identity? *Ding S*

"I do. Tell the league. I'm coming for them." Lois replied.

But literally, why? Your beef is with Superman, not with anyone else at the League. Sure, they'll get in her way, but that doesn't mean she should go after them with glee! *Ding S*

"Good God." Kyle exclaimed, flying away to the watchtower.

The Green Lanterns are chosen by their ability to overcome great fear, and here we have one of the most powerful among them fleeing without even trying to fight. Sure, he may be retreating as opposed to running away, but that's not how I feel. And because this is personal, I'll only add to the nitpick counter. See? I'm nice. *Gong*

The pictures and videos of heroes showed up on screen. Billy Batson, Shazam, Oliver Queen, Green Arrow, Dinah Lance, Black Canary, Ronnie Raymond and Jason Rusch,
Firestorm, Victor Stone, Cyborg, Shiera and Carter Hall, Hawkgirl and Hawkman and Arthur Curry, Aquaman were
teleported to the watchtower.

And the conflict should end right this second. The Martian Manhunter showed up too, and so with ALL THAT POWER, a woman who got her powers a week ago and had almost no chance to train with them, stands NO CHANCE! *Ding S*

"All of you are now league members. Terminate the growing threat of the legion of doom." Batman told all of them.

I don't like that you used the word "terminate". Kind of implies that Batman is asking, nay, ORDERING his fellow Leaguers to murder people. *Ding C*

Also, weren't they already members of the League? *Gong*

"Arthur. Get your atlanteans. We'll need all the help we can get." Batman told him, he nodded.

Dude, this isn't Darkseid invading earth for the 245th time. It's a woman who only got her powers a week ago and barely had the chance to train! Overkill is overkill. *Gong*

"I'll get my Amazons." Diana said.

"You aren't going alone. Barry?" Batman said.

Men aren't allowed in Themyscira. And if you think they are in this universe, think again! Because Hyppolita quotes that law in a later chapter. *Ding S*

"The rest of you hold back the legion of Doom. Superman, Superboy and I terminate Lois." He said. After that, they, aside from Aquaman, Wonder Woman and Flash, were all transported to Gotham.

Wait. When did Superboy get here? *Ding S*

Chapter 6 - Trouble at Themyscira

"You're married to Iris, Flash. If you don't remember, The Last time a hero with a girlfriend kissed me, Metropolis was destroyed." Diana replied.

And you guys just let it happen?! *Ding C*

Also, the words 'the' and 'last' shouldn't be capitalized. *Ding G*

"It's your fault for being so hot." Barry replied.

Spoken like a true incel, Barry. *Ding C*

"We could have sex on Themyscira and no one would know, though. If not me, choose another Amazon." Diana
smiled.

What the actual f***, Diana?! *Ding C*

"Sure. There's always time for the fastest man on Earth." Barry boasted."

You immature piece of crap."

You're thinking of Wally, not Barry. *Gong*

Also:

*Bzzt*

They went to her quarters and took off their clothes.

They're actually going through with this?! I guess the story wasn't satisfied with ruining Superman, so it decided to ruin Flash and Wonder Woman in a single shot! *Ding C*

Meanwhile, in Atlantis.

"Arthur!!" Mera, the Queen, called seeing her husband.

"Yes. I need--" He said.

"An army to stop Lois. I know and I saw this coming. The battalion is waiting for your command." Mera said.

Hol' up! How did you see Lois turning evil coming? *Ding S*

"Thanks, but I would need you to take care of Atlantis." Arthur asked.

"Always have, Arthur. Always have." She replied.

"Thank you." He said, saying goodbye.

Thankfully, Arthur and Mera aren't acting out of character. I think getting the hero everybody makes fun of right deserves a sin off. *gniD*

"Give me the Queen. Alive." Manta commanded.

And that's a pretty Black Manta thing to do too! Why can't everywhere be like Atlantis, man? *gniD*

Back on Themyscira

"That was Quick, Flash. Sweet release." Diana said, dressing up in her Wonder Woman outfit, just as Barry was.

Haha! Gross! *Gong*

They flew out to the yard when they heard a voice. "Kinky." He said. A squad with guns showed up behind him.

Peeping Slade. *Bzzt*

"Deathstroke. I heard you and Lois are dating."

But literally how?! *Ding S*

"And why do you use men with guns when you know I could knock those rifles out of their hands?" Flash asked.

*Bzzt*

He ran to him, and tried to punch him, but Slade got his arm which was speeding like lightning, and countered with a punch of his own and hitting his abdomen with the back
of his rifle.

Even the way Deathstroke stabbed the Flash in "Identity Crisis" is more believable than this! There is no way in Hell that he just caught a punch from the Flash! *Ding C*

"Faster than the fastest man on Earth." He commented.

1. No you're not! *Gong*

2. THAT'S NOT HOW YOU SAY IT! *Gong*

"You're next, Amazonian." He pointed at her.

It's just 'Amazon'. *Gong*

A simple punch, enhanced with a miracle drug streaming through his veins, knocked her out.

Hahaha, yeah, no. I don't care what you say, Wonder Woman would kick Slade's ass 10 times out of 9! *Ding C*

"Let's go." Slade told his troops.

"What about Flash?" One asked.

Slade shot the man who asked.

But literally why?! Slade's not a sadist! *Ding C*

"He'll send the news. Anymore Questions?" Slade asked.

Wrong 'anymore'. *Ding G*

Also, you came here to take down Wonder Woman, okay, makes sense so far, but why not try to sabotage the Amazon army while you're at it? Slade is a genius and master strategist, so he could actually pull that off, but instead he just wants to be evil. I have a theory that the author originally wanted to have Vandal Savage as the main antagonist, but changed him to Deathstroke. I'll get more into this theory later, so meanwhile, here's a sin! *Ding C*

Chapter 7 - Battle for Gotham

"Citizens of Gotham City. We need you to evacuate. Lois Lane and the legion of doom are assaulting Gotham, so for your own safety, please evacuate. This is your only
warning." Batman spoke through television.

Why say "this is your only warning" like he's the one who issued the threat? *Ding C*

"It begins." Batman said.

It's already begun! I'm starting to think that the author just has Batman say stuff they think is cool, but then he comes out as an idiot who tries to convince everybody that he's cool. Frank Miller would be proud! *Ding C* *Bzzt*

Her Legion of Doom rose up in the distance, twice the number of the Justice League. Added by Criminals from Stryker's island, Belle Reve and Arkham Asylum.

Numbers won't help them when you consider the raw power some of the heroes on the League's side are packing. *Gong*

Lex Luthor, The Joker, Doomsday, Bizarro, Black Manta, Sinestro, Star Sapphire, Captain Cold, Heatstroke, Trickster, Weather Wizard, Captain Boomerang, Mirror Master, Zoom,
Black Adam, Deathstroke, Scarecrow, Bane, Harley Quinn, Solomon Grundy, The Riddler, Penguin, Two-Face, Killer Croc, Dr. Freeze, Killer Frost, Parasite, and of course, Lois
Lane.

Heatstroke and Dr. Freeze are not the correct names. *Gong*

They had Wonder Woman in chains, and Mera in a heating chamber.

They had Wonder Woman in chains. They had... WONDER WOMAN... in CHAINS?! *Ding C*

The Justice League were only few, Superman, Batman, Green Lantern Kyle Rayner, The Flash, Cyborg, Nightwing, Batgirl, Hawkman and Hawkgirl, Martian Manhunter, Shazam, Aquaman, Green Arrow and Black Canary, and Firestorm.

That's not "just a few". There are 15 heroes fighting against 28 villains. And even if that could be considered as "a few", you also have to remember that Arthur and Diana gathered their armies, the villains are the ones at a disadvantage here... *Ding S*

"You. Diana." Lois walked to her.

"Please, Lois, this isn't you." Diana said.

"I know it was Superman that walked to you, but letting Flash, a married man, have your body? You are a whore." Lois said.

If someone calls Wonder Woman a whore, the reader's first reaction should not be "they have a point". *Ding C*

Lois got her Lasso of Truth, Wrapped it around her neck, and with the excess she tied Wonder Woman's hands behind her, leading to her ankles.

"Any Last Words?" Lois asked.

"Lois, I'm sorry. You know we all are." Diana said.

"Shut up!!" Lois said, flying up and tying her rope to an iron rod sticking out of a broken piece of debris, leaving Diana hanging to die.

So, I was reading through the comments of this story, and one comment which stuck out was by a user called wxnder-ful who's clearly a fan of Wonder Woman. The comment read: "Are you going to continue because this is amazing". And yet, here we have Wonder Woman getting unceremoniously killed off by her own Lasso, with her death impacting nothing, after having violated the laws of her homeland and knowingly having sex with a married man. I don't know about you, but as a Wonder Woman fan myself, I'm pretty pissed! *Gong* *Ding C*

"Clark. Travel back. Prevent all this from happening." Bruce said.

How the f*** do you expect him to do that, Bruce?! Or does the author think that the scene from the Donner film is actually something Superman can do? *Ding S*

"But I'm not the fastest. Zoom or Bizarro could just chase me." Clark reasoned.

Gee. If only there were someone faster among you... *Ding S* *Ding C*

"But you're the cause. We won't let that happen, Clark." Batman replied.

That meant literally nothing and is not a solution to the problem Clark pointed to! *Ding S* *Ding C*

"Tll handle this." J'onn volunteered, turning to a huge wolf. Scratching the ground, taking out non-superpowered villains and most of Deathstroke's men.

J'onn is possibly stronger than Superman. The f*** is he doing mowing down random mercenaries?! *Ding S*

Also, how does Slade have an army? He's a freelance assassin and he quit the military decades ago! *Ding S*

"Say, Kyle. Where's Hal?" Star Sapphire appeared before him.

I love how she just stopped in the middle of the battle to ask about Hal. I mean, weren't you just trying to kill him a second ago? *Gong*

"Lois didn't tell you, Carol? Lois killed Hal!!" Kyle confessed.

Why would she tell? She doesn't know Carol. SHE SHOULDN'T KNOW HAL EITHER! *Ding S*

"You're just a child, Billy Batson." Black Adam told his nemesis.

"And you're an old man, Gramps." The sly kid replied.

Thanks, Captain Obvious. *Ding S*

"Hey, Billy. Let me help." Firestorm said, Transmuting Black Adam's lightning into cloth.

"What!? What sorcery is this?" Black Adam asked.

That's a good question, because Firestorm's powers are related to matter. And last time I checked: lightning itself isn't matter. *Ding S*

"It isn't sorcery. It's science." Ronnie answered.

"Thanks, Jason. I owe you." Billy replied.

"It's Ronnie. But Jason heard you." He said.

"Thanks to both of you, but I know Jason's the brains." Billy replied.

"Kid has a point." His conscience, Jason, said.

"Shut up." Ronnie replied.

Fufufufufufufu... *gniD*

They were holding off Criminals from Arkham, Electric
arrows easily overcharge and knock out parasite.

Uh... no. Parasite would just eat that up! *Ding C*

Aquaman leads his army, and throws his trident at Mera's heating unit, freeing her.

"Hello, Arthur." Slade said. The two were caught in battle as Both their armies were.

How do you know Aquaman's name?! *Ding S*

"No." Mera said.

From the river, She called forth a huge tidal wave, hitting all villains ending the battle.

The Justice League, ladies and gentlemen! They just won the battle by drowning their opponents and probably a bunch of civilians too! *Ding S*

"No!!!" Lois answered, trying to escape.

You called Clark a coward earlier, and now you're running from some water. *Ding C*

"You killed Hal." Carol declared, trapping her in pink chains.

"Small price to pay, Carol." Lois said.

"Small price? Small price!? SMALL PRICE!!?? Do you know how much Hal meant to me!?" She screamed. Using her chain, she slammed Lois to the ground repeatedly.

"Yes. Love shall conquer all." Her ring said.

Author has no f***ing clue what love is! *Ding C*

"You're under arrest." He said, clapping her in Kryptonite coated handcuffs, as were the legion of doom.

"The war is done." Bruce said.

Bruce is saying both of these lines, so he should speak in one line. *Ding G*

"It never is, Bruce. A newspaper journalist could be your best friend or your worst enemy." Lois screamed. "Breaking
News!! Superhero secret identities!! It's coming out of the Daily Planet, Bruce. Count on it." She yelled as she was being led to the police van a few blocks away.

She's bluffing! I mean, how many secret identities does she actually know? 2? 3 tops? There's no way this is a huge deal, right? Right...? *Ding S*

"Say, where's Superman?" The young Billy Batson asked.

"Wiped out of existence." Batman said.

"Say, what?" Billy asked.

"Yes. By changing the past, he travelled to a different timeline where our timeline doesn't exist. If he stayed there, He's wiped from existence, but we aren't." Cyborg
confirmed.

That's not how that works! Superman's meddling with the timeline should make all of YOU vanish, because you're part of the timeline that doesn't exist anymore! *Ding S*

.......................................................................

Final Sin Count (Part 1):

Total Sins: 99 - 5 = 94
• Story Sins: 39
• Character Sins: 47
• Grammar Sins: 13

Total Nitpicks: 22

Total Jokes: 10

Sentence: Still a better love story than Twilight. (Believe me)