NAFEESAH POV

After "not" worrying about him till almost midnight, I managed to fall asleep. I was woken up by the shrill sound of my phone only to be snapped out of my hazy half asleep daze by Farhan's rough voice.

There was no hello, nothing. Just three simple words.

"I need you"

Really, he needs me after what he's making me go through. Well I'm not moving an inch. He should take care of his business himself.

Sometimes in life, substances happen that you can't explain. There's no rhyme or rational reason for them and no matter how hard you try, you can't figure out why you do the things you do.

The fact that I am standing in front of Farhan's door at 1am is one of those instances.

I entered with a Salam. He was still in bed but I could hear his faint groans. I moved closer to inspect him.

His eyes were closed but it didn't seem to me that he was sleeping. I moved my hand and touched his forehead but retracted it immediately because of the heat his body emitted.

" subhanallah I didn't know you were sick" I exclaimed before completely tearing the covers of him.

"Do you have any drug you can take right now?" I asked and he shook his head.

I decided to check my drawer for any antipyretic, I went back to my room. I did find one after rummaging through my drawers.

I went to the kitchen and made tea then went back to his room. I helped him sit with his back against the headboard and gave him the tea.

After what felt like hours, he finished the tea and handed me the cup. I gave him the drug and handed him a bottle of water.

"Thank you" he whispered after taking the drug and I nodded.

I got a bowl and half-filled it with water, then grabbed a clean towel. I started to dab the wet towel on his forehead in an attempt to help lower his temperature.

After a while, his temperature dropped back to normal. I was already tired and was dozing too when I felt him scoot back, his hand pulled me into him and he whispered " sleep " while covering me with the comforter.

My body stiffened a bit before I let out the breath I was holding and relaxed into him.

I could feel his breathing getting deeper, the steady rise and fall of his chest becoming more rhythmic as he drifted off.

I peered up to see his eyes closed, and just when I thought I couldn't be more in awe of him the serene sight of his relaxed features as he fell asleep had my chest wanting to collapse in on itself.

He looked so peaceful. All of the turmoil, pride, arrogance and hardness stripped from his face and I could do anything to preserve that.

I rested my head back against him, trying to savour this while I could.

"I missed you" he sighed out. It was so faint and muffled by sleep that I almost thought I was hearing things.

My blood felt like it freezed in my body and I held my breath, trying to process what I just heard. Those three words condemned every shred of doubt I had about the feelings I had for this man. I am in love with him and There's nothing more I could do to stop myself from Loving this man.

I missed you too Farhan... but I could never tell him that. I don't want him to freak out on me or worse shatter the little thread of hope I had left.

I don't know how things will be when he wakes up, I don't know how different things will be or if they'll stay exactly the same.

I knew things had changed for me but I don't  know if things had changed for him and laying there gave me time to worry about all the new problems that the future might bring.

I knew how I felt about him just screams disaster for me, but that niggling hope in me prays there's a chance it won't.

I still don't know what to think about how his actions contradict eachother. This moment he acts like he cares about me and the next he's trying hard to put me back to my original place.

It's the small drop of attention from him that keeps me thirsting for more. But I have no idea how much he was capable of giving.

Staying with Farhan in his bed tonight taught me something. Laying there with him was enough to make me forget just for tonight why I needed to stay away from him.

We fell asleep that night wrapped around eachother like some form of deformed pretzel and while Farhan slept quickly I found myself fighting to stay awake as long as I could. I don't  know when I won't feel like I have to be worried that he will just dissapear and act like none of this happened but I hope it's one day soon.

~~

It was strange waking up at dawn in his bed, the brief moment of panic I had when I woke up alone subdued when I felt the sound of water running in his bathroom. He didn't bail on me. I let out a huge sigh before memories of last night came swarming in.

What did he mean by saying he missed me?

I was cut off my thoughts by him coming out of the bathroom into his closet, coming back in a blue coloured Jallabiya and a praying mat.

"Oh yeah I should get going" I muttered.

" you came with your hijab last night" he said, pointing to my hijab on his bedside.

My eyes darted from the hijab bact to him in confusion. I didn't understand what he meant by that.

" I mean you can just pray here I'll be right back" he elaborated and I nodded in response.

I made my way to the bathroom, did my business cause I don't know if the pregnancy was affecting my bladder or it just got weak, I performed ablution and prayed subh.

Immediately I was done with my azkhar he came in with a Salam and I answered in a low tune. He sat on the bed and faced me.

He was looking at me, staring at my features as if studying every part of me.

"good morning" I broke the silence.

"good morning miss crazy" he answered with a smile I returned. Didn't want to comment on him calling me crazy so early in the morning but I did anyways.

" I don't have to ask If you're feeling better, considering you felt strong enough to call me crazy so early in the morning Mr rude" I answered back.

"there's the fire I missed" he muttered with a grin before adding " well I feel a whole lot better since you've decided to ask"

"I see"

"So how are you doing? And the baby too?" He asked and I smiled.

"I'm good and Tesro is fine too" I answered before know what I spewed out.

" Tesro? You call the baby Tesro?" He asked wide-eyed.

Dumbass feenah

I was quite, too ashamed to say a word.

"that's a nice name. It means treasure right?" He asked and I nodded.

"Well I hope it's a girl that looks exactly like you. We can call her that" he said with grin.

"Well I hope it's a boy that looks exactly like you" I replied. Honestly I wanted a boy that looked like him. Someone to keep reminding me how I yearned for someone way above my reach. The thought deflating my mood almost immediately.

"I should get going" I stood up to fold the mat.

"just stay here" he blurted and my head whipped around to face him. I was shocked he asked me to stay. Farhan wants to spend time with me.

" you have antenatal appointment later In the day. We can just hang around before then. I'll take you there myself" he added and my mouth hit the ground.

Most shocking news of the year. 'He wants me to hang around' or 'us'?

I gave in and we did hang around all day talking about anything and everything that came to mind. We had breakfast and lunch together before he took me to see the doctor.

The whole day was beyond amazing and I was at the top with my emotions every where. I couldn't stop smiling. We had icecream on our way back and even though today was another exciting imbalance, I pushed my fears back and enjoyed it to the fullest.

***************

Much love Nightingale ✍♥️