chapter five,
is it still the world we've known?

DO YOU KNOW THE MOMENT when the dream was so welcoming, that waking up seemed like the biggest betrayal you have ever experienced? The way your heart drops, the way you sigh out in disbelief – it was just a dream. 

Wave loathed her dreams because they made her feel like she belonged somewhere out there and not here. Did any of them belong to the factions? Her dreams were always just some fragments of white coats, of substances, of something scientific. But it wasn't about what she was seeing there, it was about the feeling – she felt like she belonged there. In her dream world. 

The woman chuckled, pushing her hair away from her face as she hopped out of bed to splash her face with some cold water to get rid of that longing. Itching her forearms, she yawned – her forearms always itched after those dreams. It was a weird response of her body, but she wasn't a doctor to determine why it was like that. 

The cold water stung her skin, making her cheeks red. She opened her eyes widely, looking at herself in the mirror, seeing the damage of countless restless nights. She looked like shit. Shaking her head to calm her down, she inhaled and exhaled, begging herself to stop dreaming that weird bullshit and focus on reality. She couldn't leave, so why not get used to it anyway? 

Her forearms were itching again, so she raised them to look at them, noticing a faint light coming out from underneath her skin – just a few inches below her wrist, on her left arm. Blinking a few times, she tried to recall when was the last time she was drinking – a long time ago. She looked at her left forearm again and as soon as she felt that itching sensation, something glowed faintly again. 

This couldn't be happening. This couldn't be real. 

  Wave shook her head, splashing her face again with the cold water, rubbing her eyes for her to wake up. She was awake. Wave wasn't aware of any type of bugs inserted into every citizen, at least she did not remember anything. Inspecting her skin again, there was no notable scar to indicate that her skin was ripped. Maybe they injected something? No...

  If Erudites made sure that everyone had a tracking device, then it only meant that there was no way to stop them. And there was a huge possibility that the glowing was just the aftermath of sleepless nights and stress. But she wasn't crazy. She knew she wasn't crazy. And she needed to prove it to herself.

"Can I get a decent rest for once?" She mumbled to herself, displeased as she quickly put on her shoes and took her jacket from the hanger. Checking that the knife was still in the pocket of her jacket, she left her flat immediately. 

Her destination was the lab. It was quite a walk from her flat, but she didn't have the necessary equipment in her flat. If she was to prove to herself that nothing was flashing in her arm, she had to do it correctly, without getting unnecessary attention on her. The best part was that it was still in the middle of the night, and she wouldn't have to meet any people if she knew where to go to avoid them all. 

The labs were primarily used for the second stage of the initiation. It was when someone would get into your mind and project your fears onto you, training you to fight back. In every lab room, there would be a cabinet filled with medicine and whatnot, in case everything went south.

That's what she did. She went into one of the lab rooms and she closed the door behind her, turning on the light. She walked to the counter, opened it and took out a needle and a local anaesthetic, a disinfectant, bandages and things needed for stitching up. If she was going to rip her skin open, she had to do it the proper way. She wasn't crazy enough to just rip her skin apart and search for something that wasn't even there. 

She walked to the examination table, which was a comfortable seat, and placed all her stuff there. Taking another stool and pushing it closer, she sat down and took off her jacket. She took out her knife and poured some disinfectant over the blade, cleaning it. Then she did the same to her arms, rubbing them together. 

Wave took the bottle of anaesthetic and a needle, filling it with the liquid. She wasn't a very big fan of the needles at first, but she has passed her initiation well and learned how to live with them. The second stage involved a ton of needles jabbed into your neck – you have to learn how to live with them. 

Embracing herself, she doubted for a second – she wasn't a doctor, and she didn't know what the hell she was doing. But they all had to know first aid, in case anyone would need help, but it didn't involve slicing yourself open and searching for something buried underneath your skin.

All of this just to prove she is not crazy. 

"It's okay – you are not crazy. It is just a simple cut, and you will be back in bed soon," she kept whispering to herself as she injected herself with the local anaesthetic, approximately to the point where she saw something glow. 

Placing the needle down on the examination table, she exhaled, her right leg shaking up and down in an anxious manner. She gave herself a few minutes before she felt how the anaesthetic started to kick in, making the place just a bit lower than her wrist become numb. 

She took the knife and offered herself a few more minutes to calm down – this will all be over soon. She pressed the blade against her skin, wary of the visible veins popping on her skin, that's why she cut in a bit higher. The pain was tolerable – the numbing was doing its job well. As she made a cut about an inch wide, she placed the knife down.

As she was about to jab her fingers inside, the door suddenly opened, making her almost fall from her seat. Raising her head, she cursed and grumbled: "Fuck you, Four! I almost had a heart attack."

The man was looking at her with wide eyes. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

Wave noticed how quickly blood started to ooze from the wound and she gulped bitterly. She didn't actually think there would be this much blood. "I forgot there are cameras... I will be done soon, just—relax."

With these words, she jabbed her pointing finger into the wound, her body jolting up from the pain as she screeched. She pushed it further and tears started to well up in her eyes, but soon enough, Four rushed to her and pushed her finger out of the wound, grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking her.

"Are you out of your mind?! What are you doing?" 

Wave raised her head to face him, not having much time before she started to bleed profoundly. She was almost pleased with herself, seeing that he cared that much. "I saw something glow in my arm."

It seemed like something got shortcut in his brain. They both were lucky that he was the one on the surveillance duty tonight, because if anyone else would've seen this fiasco—it would've been the end for her. 

Four let her go, taking a step back. "You—saw something glow in your arm... And that's why you are slicing yourself open?"

The woman sighed, but she jabbed her finger back into the wound, gritting her teeth and stomping her foot twice from the pain. "That's exactly what I'm doing." She gritted out and pushed the finger to the right and the left before she pulled it out. 

There was nothing inside of her skin. She was just tired. She was just stressed. She just needed a proper rest. 

With a huff, she straightened her back and sat down on the stool, grabbing a roll of bandages and pressing it against the bleeding wound. She closed her eyes for a second, calming herself down, but as soon as she opened them, she stood up immediately. Four was holding a needle, moving towards her.

"The hell you fucking don't! Move away! What is wrong with you?" She was displeased and she could imagine how dishevelled she looked. But she still couldn't believe that he thought that she was crazy. They all have their own shit to deal with. 

Extending his free hand, he tried to soothe her. "There is no need to get so worked up, Wave. It's three in the morning." Four sighed, his tone unusually soft. "It's three in the fucking morning and you are out here, slicing your arm open because something glowed. Do you hear how crazy this sounds?"

"This is not that crazy compared to what's happening. I got worried that something put a tracker in me and there is this war brewing. You think something like this couldn't happen, huh? And you think I'm crazy for wanting to prove myself that we actually have a chance to live here?" She scoffed and shook her head. He thought she was crazy.

Noticing that he wasn't putting the needle away, she tried to reason with him again. Only this time, her voice was demanding. "Put that needle down, Four. I am not crazy, okay? I am just—tired. I haven't had a decent amount of sleep for as long as I can remember and this whole thing brewing with the Erudites... I did what I had to do and now I will stitch myself up and go back to sleep." Her voice was tired. She was begging. She was so close to crying and begging for him to see her as an equal and not a nutjob.

But Four took another step forward and she immediately lunged forward, grabbing the stool and throwing it at him. It hit him, but it didn't do the much-wanted damage. She moved to the examination table, pushing it away from the wall and shielding her away from him. As he went to his right, she went to her right and a game of chasing began. With the given opportunity, she sprinted to the floor, but before she could open it, he grabbed her by her shirt and yanked her backwards, wrapping his arm around her waist as the other injected the needle right in her vein.

"You son of a bitch! You son of a bitch!" She screeched, lunging forward as she felt the ache in her neck. But his grip was tight, and she was getting limp faster than she thought she would be.

A cloud of dizziness surrounded her, and her eyelids became heavy. Her body stopped resisting as slurred words came out of her mouth: "I am not—crazy. I am not crazy! I am just scared... I am just scared... Something glowed—it glowed..."

With these words she shut out, her limp body moving forward, but he dropped the needle on the floor and moved down on the floor, letting her drop alongside him. He supported her so she wouldn't hit herself as he sat down on the floor, pushing her back to his chest.

She was scared. He had never seen her act this erratic before. Whatever was happening with Erudites must've influenced her. But something inside of him told him, that it wasn't only that. Someone was playing with her. Someone was using her.

♖ ♖ ♖

WAVE opened her eyes with a loud grunt, noticing the familiar ceiling. She was in her flat. The whole cutting herself and fighting with Four was just a dream. It was just a dream.

She huffed out, her mouth dry. It felt like she was squished by several cars as her whole body was twitching. She pushed the blanket off her body and raised her head to see Four sitting at the end of her bed. 

Groaning, she let her head fall back and hit the pillow. It wasn't a dream. Of course, it wasn't a dream. Raising her arms, she noticed that both of her forearms were bandaged, making her immediately sit down. 

"What the fuck did you do to me?" She groaned out, her throat too dry to speak properly. With wide eyes, she looked at him, noticing that he wasn't giving her the same look as before. He seemed as if something changed. As if something changed his mind. 

Taking out a clear bag from his pocket, he dropped it on her legs. There were two devices in the bag. They were small, but they were surrounded by long, splattered wires. They were faintly glowing, and it made her heart drop.

"What the hell is this?" She whispered, taking the bag in her arms. She winced in pain as both of her forearms pulsed with pain – she would have to be careful for a few days. 

"I thought you would tell me what that is. You were the one slicing your skin open." His tone was stern again. 

Wave shook her head, wishing that it was just a dream. "I don't know what that is. I just saw something glow in my arm and I wanted to assure myself that it was just—just stress and nothing more... Did you do this to me?" She raised her forearms gently. 

"After you—calmed down, I noticed something glowing in your arm as well. I couldn't believe it. So, I deepened the cut and opened the wound more to find the body of the device. As I started to pull it out, all these wires started to come together – they were stuck to your muscles. I assumed there was another one in the other arm, and I was right."

Wave couldn't believe what she was hearing. She couldn't believe all of this. Pushing the bag away from herself, she stood up and shook her head: "I will throw up." She hugged herself, in a way of shielding as her mind was just a mess. There weren't any coherent thoughts forming, just pure panic.

Managing to keep her stomach inside of her, she turned to him. "Did you see anything glow inside of your arms? Is there, perhaps, a mark on the device that could tell us who made it?" She grabbed the bag, inspecting it from up close.

"I haven't noticed anything." He stood up, walking closer to her. 

"If these devices are tracking us... Aren't we all supposed to have them?" Wave looked at him, feeling the way her panic was surrounding them both. He was too calm. Too calm for her liking. He was never hot-headed just the way she was. 

"What if you only had these devices?" Four offered her a different theory.

But she didn't like this theory at all. Her face dropped and she shook her head. "Why me? Just because I display Divergent behaviour - is that what you are trying to say?" She scoffed and looked him in the eyes. "Four, you saw my test results as well – I am not Divergent. If this is just a mere precaution..."

She didn't know how to finish her sentence. She didn't know what she would do if she found out that this was because of her behaviour. She couldn't leave this place even if everyone saw her as a ticking bomb. Sealing her lips, she looked at the bag again and exhaled, trying to figure out what to do. "You can't tell anyone about this, Four... I know we have our differences and I know I am the last person you want to be stuck with, but—this might also be connected to the code you have found. If Erudites are trying to keep me away, it only confirms something's going on."

It felt weird to see her like this. Without her snarky remarks, without her being brave. She looked scared and he never thought he would see her like that, because she was braver than most of them. She was hot-headed, but she did her job. But here, right in front of him, was just a woman who was afraid, because someone was clearly using her. They didn't know if all of them were safe, maybe he had those devices as well. 

And if she wasn't his favourite person, she wasn't so bad. She was just a human. So, he placed his hand on her cheek, making her look at him as he gently leaned down: "We are going to find out who did this to you. And we are going to find out what the code means. You are not alone in here, even if it might feel like it." 

Wave nodded, closing her eyes for a moment. He retracted his hand, his skin tingly from the contact and he cursed to himself mentally. She was incredibly beautiful when she wasn't hot-headed.

author's note,

once again, I am so sorry for the super late update and I am so happy you have all stuck together! I hope during this summer I will be able to write more, because they are seriously a power couple.

I made this new banner, I hope you like it! If Four wouldn't look at me like that I'd combust. Wave's better than me.

How are we feeling about Wave and Four? Their tension is tensioning for two people who seem to hate each other...

Please comment and vote - your support is everything!!