Hey lovelies-

You guys are truly going to fucking hate me; I can feel it. PLEASE DON'T. PLEASE DON'T. I'm only giving what the majority wanted :cry:. 

It's pretty lengthy, so sit tight. It took me 5 fucking hours kskkkksksksskksk.

Also, if you haven't already, PLEASE REMEMBER TO VOTE <3 THEY MEAN THE ABSOLUTE WORLD TO ME LSDNJGKJNGFJNFIWBNRFKJFNBLIEUNF YALL ARE THE BEST.

Without further adieu, I present to you...

D I S T R E S S | VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED-ISH

lucille granger

"Narcissa was right," The healer protruded, as I stared into nothingness. 

It smelled like rubbing alcohol in this dimly lit room.

The beeping of the heart rate monitor was irritating.

I wanted to leave.

I already knew what happened.

I wanted to leave.

"Emotional distress was the cause of the miscarriage, Ms. Granger," He said.

Luna grabbed my hand tightly, standing right beside me as I laid here vulnerable and in defeat. I could feel her eyes on me, though I didn't want to look back.

I didn't want to look anywhere.

I just wanted to close my eyes.

Disappear, if you may.

Narcissa's muffled cries could be heard from miles away.

I wasn't pregnant anymore, but the heightened senses stayed.

Not for long.

Emotional distress.

It didn't make sense, but it all the sense in the world.

"They're outside, Lucille," Luna mumbled, "The boys are outside. Do you want them in here?"

"No."

I didn't hesitate to respond. I didn't want anyone near me.

Just Narcissa and Luna.

Not Lorenzo.

Not Blaise.

Not even Draco.

"We'll have the fetus removed in an hour," The healer said as he scratched things off his clipboard with his quill, "Until now, we advise that you get some rest."

You don't have to tell me twice; I want to rest right now.

In fact, I want to rest and never wake up.

"Get some rest, dear. Okay?" Narcissa spoke through her trembling voice.

I couldn't even cry anymore. I couldn't even react the way I wanted to react.

"I'll be o-outside," Narcissa spoke, as she stepped outside, in which she let out more tears.

I huffed.

"Do you want me to stay with you?" Luna cooed, as she tucked my hair behind my ear.

"No need," I said, "Thank you."

Luna gave me a stern look before walking away and exiting the room.

St. Mungo's was dreadful. 

You usually come here to die.

Or so that's what I heard growing up.

"No, that's bullshit. Fucking let me in!" A familiar voice from outside the room rung in my ears, "I need to see her, let me fucking see her!"

And with that, my door was busted open. 

The platinum blonde haired boy stood tall with his quivering lip and faulty facial expression. His eyes were filled with dread; pity, even.

I couldn't help but look back.

As his lip quivered, he crept closer. Draco was trembling, but he was inaudible- him and I the same.

Then the tears came rolling down.

He grabbed my hand tightly and held it up to his lips, and kissed it through the tears that shed uncontrollably. 

Draco was shaking.

I didn't feel anything.

I couldn't.

"Lucille," He breathed, "I'm so sorry this is happening to you-. T-to us." Draco sniffled, as he took a seat right besides me.

But is it really happening to you?

"I love you, Luce," He stammered, "I love you so much." 

Draco lower to my head and placed a warm kiss on my forehead.

"You'll be fine, okay?" Um-. You will, yes. I-. I'll be here by your side-." 

Draco's reassurance was surely needed. And I truly appreciated it.

I just needed silence right now.

The healer walked back in my room.

"Sir, I'm going to need you to leave-."

"No-. She-. She needs me-."

"Draco," I spoke weakly, "It's okay. Just go,"

He stared into my eyes with his piercing grey orbs, and placed another kiss on my forehead, then let my hand go.

And he left.

Finally. I was finally alone.

And so I closed my eyes, wanting everything to be over.

****

We apparated back home. I was tired. Very tired.

Draco never let my hand go the moment we left St. Mungo's.

As all of us entered the manor, it was gloomy yet again.

"Would you like to eat anything, Lucille?" Narcissa suggested.

"I'm alright, thank you," I responded weakly, "I'm just going to get some rest,"

"Yes, you do that," She frantically responded, as she sped towards the kitchen, "Lorenzo, Blaise, Luna, come eat. We've all had a long day, haven't we?"

Draco helped me up the stairs, making sure I don't fall backwards or forwards.

"Are you sure you don't want me to grab you something to eat?" Draco probed.

"Draco," I sighed, "I'm not hungry, right now."

He clenched his jaw, but soon cooled down. He has no right to be upset right now?

Draco had his hand pressed against the bottom of my back as we walked down the hallway heading towards his room.

He opened the door as I walked in. The smell of mint, cologne, clean linens, and some sort of apple scent brought me back down to earth as it concocted comfort, easing my nerves.

I sat onto the bed, kicked off my shoes, and laid flat. 

Draco closed the door behind him and turned right back around, staring at me as I laid down staring at the ceiling; staring into nothingness.

He sat besides me, with his cold veiny hand brushing against my warm flushed cheeks. His rings grazed against my skin; but this time, it wasn't comforting. It wasn't a pleasing feeling.

I gently pushed his hand away, wanting some space.

"Are you alright?" Draco probed, "Am I bothering you?"

"No, Draco. I'm just-. I'm just tired, is all," I responded flatly.

"I'm only trying to help-."

"And I'm thankful, Draco. But right now, I just want to be left alone," I said.

Draco's aura was soon darkening; I could feel it.

"Left alone?" He scoffed, "I'm hurting, too, Lucille!"

"I never said you weren't, Draco. All I'm asking for is some spa-"

"Oh, fuck off, Lucille, seriously. You don't get to be a fucking bitch-. Not now."

I couldn't believe the words that were coming right out of his mouth.

"Are you seriously getting angry at me?" I reprimanded.

"I'm trying to fucking help you, Lucille," He raised his voice. Draco shot up from the bed and started walking around.

I knew where this bullshit was fucking going.

"Draco, I truly do appreciate it, I really do-. But right now I just-. I just need space-."

"Lucille I want to be there for you! For fuck's sake I want to be here for you the way you were there for me! A-And you aren't letting me-." 

"Doesn't that sound a tad bit familiar?" I snapped.

Draco clenched his fist at my remark, as his veins grew prominent on his hands.

He clenched his jaw as well. He was angry.

And with that, his fist met with the mirror of his dresser, which resulted in me jolting out of fear.

Though the mirror shattered, it was strong enough for it to hold on, but one more punch and it would all fall out of its frame into a million unrepairable pieces.

"You want space?" He seethed, "I'll give you fucking space."

Draco then stormed out the room, slamming the door shortly after.

I was speechless, really. My own thoughts couldn't comprehend what had happened.

I stared at the cracked mirror, then back at the ceiling.

I just needed to sleep. Maybe then I'll be able to understand where he's coming from.

***

draco malfoy

I ran down the stairs and into the kitchen, with my hand covering my bloody fucking fist.

That hurt like bloody hell.

I probably shouldn't have done that; I probably shouldn't have acted like that.

But I couldn't help it.

I'm angry. I feel sick to my fucking stomach.

I lost my fucking child and Lucille is pushing me away.

I should've admitted that it was really me who needed her right now.

I need to use my words.

But it's too late for that now.

I've already said what I said.

And done what I've done.

I pushed Lorenzo aside from the sink and ran cold water on my cut fist as I winced in pain.

"Could you fucking wait? I'm washing the bloody dishes-," He said, with an apron on and a sponge and plate in his hands, "What in bloody hell happened to your first?"

"None of your business," I snapped, as I washed my wound.

"I think it is my business, Malfoy-. You're bleeding on the fucking dishes!"

"Bleeding? Who's bleeding?" Luna chimed.

"Malfoy's bleeding," Lorenzo responded.

"Oh, let me!" Luna immediately grabbed my hand and cupped it with her small hands. "Episkey."

As she removed her hands, the cuts on my fist were gone.

"You never fail to amaze me, Luna Lovegood," Lorenzo spoke, as Luna giggled.

"Thank you," I said flatly, as I walked away from the sink and took a seat by the kitchen island.

"What happened to your first?" Lorenzo questioned, as he continued washing the dishes.

"I just got mad about something, that's all," I said.

"How's Lucille doing?" Luna asked.

"Fine without me," I said.

"Oh, no," Lorenzo mumbled, "Did you guys get into an argument?"

"No," I said, "Just a little disagreement, is all,"

"Who had a disagreement?" Blaise interrupted, walking into the kitchen and taking a seat besides me.

"Lucille and Draco had a disagreement," Lorenzo answered.

"Oh, about what?"

"I dunno, we're getting to that part," Lorenzo finished and wiped his hands against the blue apron that had my mother's name embroidered on it. "So what was this agreement about, Draco Lucius Malfoy?"

I huffed. "I wanted to help her-. I want to help Lucille given that we just los-. We just lost our fucking child. A-and she's doesn't want my help. She's like, pushing me away," my voice cracked.

"Well, if she wants space, mate, it's best to give it to her, y'know?" Blaise suggested. "Onyx hated me probing her with my support if she didn't need it. She's-. She was a very independent woman, if you ask me."

"I'm sure she needs your help, Draco," Lorenzo assured, "But maybe right now she just wants space."

"And I'm giving it to her! But what if I don't want space? What if I need her myself?" I snapped.

Silence.

"We're here for you, Draco," Luna softly spoke. "You can talk to us."

"What Lovegood said," Blaise added.

"Tell us how you're feeling," Lorenzo ordered, "Or else I'll literally break into the Ministry of Magic and steal a fucking veritaserum potion and force it down your throat."

"Hell, I'll even create it," Blaise chuckled.

I fiddled with my rings as all their eyes were on me.

Lorenzo was leaning against the kitchen table besides Luna, and Blaise was sitting right next to me.

It was as if the spotlight was on me.

And it felt weird.

It felt weird being fed the attention that I was longing for.

"Um-. Well, for starters," I sighed, "I am... sad. Which is-. Which is expected, I mean-. Given the circumstances, it's expected, right? It's okay to be sad, right?" I frantically questioned.

"Yes, Draco. It's 100% okay to be sad," Luna assured.

I was new to this; I was new to speaking to others besides Lucille about my feelings.

"I was really-. I was actually really excited for um-. For the-. For the baby. And-." I refuse to show weakness, "And it just really fucking sucks that this had to happen," I croaked.

Blaise placed his hand on my back and started rubbing it.

"Y'know, I feel like it could've been prevented. Or-Or I could've done something to prevent her from being so stressed-."

"Everything happens for a reason, Draco. Please don't beat yourself up for it," Lorenzo said, as his arm clung around Luna.

"Some things are just inevitable, you know?" She added, as her hand intertwined with Enzo's.

"Y-yeah. I guess, so."

Suddenly, foot steps grew closer. We all turned our heads and saw my mother standing beneath the arch of the kitchen entrance.

"Draco," she breathed, "Your father wants to talk to you."

"About?" I sighed.

Great, as if the day couldn't get any worse.

"I'm not sure," she responded, "It may be important."

I got up from my seat and huffed. "Fucking keep me in your prayers," I snapped.

As I walked away from the kitchen, passing my mother, she immediately grabbed my hand, in which halted me back to her.

I turned around and looked at her. 

Her eyes were filled with sadness; pity and ache. 

Her small hand cupped my face, and her lip quivered.

She went on her tiptoes and placed a kiss on my cheek.

"I'm sorry for your loss, my love," she wept quietly, as a tear rolled down her porcelain skin.

I couldn't help but feel for her.

I wiped her tear with my thumb, as more came pouring down.

"It's going to be okay, Mum," I assured her, "We'll be fine."

She let out a soft chuckle through her tears, then sniffled.

The truth is, I really don't know if I'll be fine. I just hope that Lucille will.

"Alright," She said, as she wiped the rest of her tears away, "Go on. He's waiting for you in his office."

I pulled away and walked towards the office where I had my first shot of alcohol.

The manor was cold. Has it always been this gloomy?

All the furnishings imported from all around the world and yet the manor still feels like a fucking prison.

Colorful imports could never compensate for the shitty childhood I was given by my father.

I entered the abnormally large office as my father sat by his heavy wooden desk, awaiting my arrival.

"You called?" I snarked.

"Ah, yes, I did," his hoarse voice protruded the room, which made my blood boil for some fucking reason, "Sorry for your loss, Draco," He got up from his leather chair, "Though it may or may not be for the best-."

"Don't-. Don't fucking say anything, father," I snapped.

"I can say whatever I want! After all, this is my house, Draco. Remember that," He reprimanded, as he inched closer, "You're lucky I even let your blood-traitor friends and mudblood girlfriend stay under my roof."

I clenched my fist. I was dying to punch him.

"Anyway, that's not what I called you here for," He spoke, as he started walking towards his tray of bourbon and whiskey, "I need you to come with me to a cotillion tonight-. Formal attire, and you're coming alone. It'll just be us-."

"No," I responded, "I'm not leaving Lucille right now-."

"I don't think you have a choice, Draco," He snarled, as he popped a bottle of bourbon open and poured it into a cup. "We need to represent our family name. Don't you want to keep our hierarchy?"

I could care less about our fucking status.

I just care about Lucille, right now.

"What's this bloody cotillion even for?" I seethed.

"A handful of other wealthy lineage families will be there. It's more of an auction for a valuable piece of... furniture."

"That's ridiculous," I spat, "I just lost a fucking child and you want me to go out with you?"

"It's to get your mind off things as well, Draco. Don't be foolish."

I mean, he had a point.

Anything but pain right now.

"Fine," I huffed.

A devilish smirk grew across his egotistical face. I wanted to fucking slap him.

"Great," He beamed, "We leave in 30 minutes. Get dressed."

I turned around and exited his office.

I stormed back to the kitchen and sighed.

"I'll be leaving. I have to do something with my bloody father," I scoffed. "Could you watch Lucille for me, Luna?"

"Of course I will," Her pippy voice responded.

"Thank you," I said, as I walked out the kitchen.

****

I had on my black suit on, with my black button-up and black dress shoes. I slicked my hair back and had all my rings on.

I guess I was looking forward to actually getting out the house, but only for a drink; or a couple.

As my father apparated the both of us in front of another huge fucking mansion. From outdoors, it was obvious that there were many people at this bloody event.

I could care less about the people at this fucking event.

Free alcohol that didn't belong to my father was enough.

My father and I entered the large house when a few heads turned to us.

"Ah, the Malfoys!" A voice beamed, as the person inched closer, "What a pleasure to have the both of you here,"

"It is a pleasure being here, so thank you very much for the invite," My cum sock of a father responded, with his cheeky git attitude that I wanted to smack off so badly. 

The man shook my father's hand, and then shortly after, he reached for mine.

I had no interest in interacting with anyone, but my father nudged me hard that I had to shake his fucking hand back.

The man chuckled as his grip was tight and firm.

"Enjoy yourselves, the auction will start in an hour or so," The man walked away, chatting among everyone else that made the air of this manor thick.

It reeked of perfumes and cologne, along with liquor and food.

"Have some respect, Draco. We came here to impress, didn't we?" My father aggressively whispered. I rolled my eyes. 

"You came here to impress," I reprimanded, "I came here to drink."

I walked away from my father, looking for a butler with a tray of alcohol.

As I walked around the crowded manor, I spotted not one, not two, but three butlers.

The first butler had a tray of champagne, in which I gladly took it and glugged it down with no hesitation. I placed the glass back onto the tray and thanked him for his peasantry,

The second butler had a tray of firewhiskey. 

Well, don't mind if I fucking do.

I picked up a shot with each hand, making it two. I took a swig from each shots as the liquor ran down my throat, leaving a stinging sensation.

The stinging feeling was better than the pain of losing a child.

So I took another.

I burped and thanked the butler as he nodded, sashaying away with the tray full of shots.

Whew, I was warming up pretty quickly.

The third butler had some sort of glass cup of brown bourbon. I didn't care what it was, I took it anyway.

In fact, I took two.

The butler gave me an alarming look.

"What are you looking at?" I snapped, holding the two glasses of bourbon, "It's for me and my father."

I walked away and drank the first the cup down without hesitation, then the next glass. I let out another burp and placed both glasses on a grand piano as the piano played.

Cool piano.

I looked around as the world slowly started spinning.

Ah, fuck. I think I drank that all too fast.

Wizard alcohol was way stronger than muggle alcohol, that's for sure.

My face was getting warmer, as I walked around and through the crowds.

Piano music, laughter, chatter, and everything else rung in my ears. 

The manor soon felt suffocating, but I still managed to pull through. 

Though I felt as if I was stumbling around like a drunken idiot, I kept looking for more alcohol.

The pain I was feeling soon withered, and I was feeling fantastic.

I decided to stop walking around and stood against a wall among other people who were chatting with one another. I scanned the crowd looking for another butler, but no other butlers were around.

Hours passed, and it was a dread to even be here.

The world was getting heavier, and everything felt as if things were moving at such a slow pace.

I spectated the crowds throughout the night. A butler even came up to me and offered me another drink. I ended up taking the whole bottle and ordered him to shoo.

With the bottle in my hand, and my warm face, I stood there trying my best not to topple over.

Just then, a familiar face crept closer, though from a distance this face was a blur.

As the person came closer, I soon recognized the face and it was Pansy Parkinson in the flesh.

I groaned, and took a shot from the bottle.

"Draco Malfoy? Is that you?" Her annoying voice protruded my drunken thoughts.

"The one and only," I responded, as I took another swig from the bottle.

"Drinking heavily, are we?" She said, as she grabbed the bottle from my hand and took a swig herself. She winced and stuck her tongue out as I chuckled. "Bloody hell, Malfoy! And you're just drinking this effortlessly?"

"That's what happens when you can't keep your bloody hands to yourself," I reprimanded, as I yanked the bottle back. "Did your father force you to come, too?" 

She scoffed. "Oh, no. I came because I'm looking for a quick fuck," She whispered.

Disgusting.

But intriguing.

"Good luck with that," I snapped, as I took another swig. "Every other man here is 45 and married."

She giggled. "Not all of them, Malfoy."

I glanced at her as she glanced back, when the corners of her mouth lifted, unveiling a seductive smirk.

"Hey, I know a place where there's more alcohol," she mumbled.

"Oh really? Where," I ordered, "Show me."

She took my free hand as she pulled me  through the crowds.

From what felt like forever, we reached a large brown door.

Pansy pulled out her wand and muttered "Alohomora".

The door unlocked, and cool air brushed against my face as she swung the door open, revealing a cellar, with alcohol racked up on the walls.

"Fucking hell, Pansy," I breathed, as I walked into the cool cellar, with a large wooden island table in the middle. "Where the fuck do I even start?"

Pansy closed the door behind her and strutted towards the wall of bourbon. She picked up a bottle from the wall and placed it onto the table.

"Dragon Tears 1953," She responded, as she unscrewed the cap, then took a swig. After she took a swig, she handed me the bottle. "It's an expensive bottle."

I stared into the hole of the bottle and took a glug of it.

And it hit differently.

The mixture of all the alcohol was starting to get to me. My whole body was on the edge; I was feeling amazing.

My temperature rose, but the cooling of the cellar made me feel better.

My heart started palpitating; adrenaline was rushing through my veins.

I placed the bottle down and huffed.

"Fuck, this bloody bottle is strong," I muttered, blinking a few times.

"Isn't it?" Pansy responded. 

Soon, Pansy jumped up onto the table and sat there. 

"Come, Draco," her finger motioned me to come closer.

And reluctantly, I obeyed. 

My eyes glanced over her body; tight white dress that hugged her figure, and her dress was obnoxiously short. She had no fucking decency whatsoever. She was so easy, it made me sick.

Pansy lifted her dress and spread her legs, then pulled my tie closer to her, positioning me to stand in between them.

"Kiss me," she demanded. I stared into her green glistening eyes, and they were hungry.

Odd enough, so was I.

I crashed my liquor-smothered lips onto hers. Her tongue slithered into my mouth without hesitation. She tasted exactly like firewhiskey; it was a weird feeling; I was torn between turned on and disgusted.

I gripped onto her thighs as she pulled away from our kiss. Her kisses trailed down to my neck as she started sucking gently. I knocked my head back in pleasure.

My thoughts were clouded. My body was hungry for something. It had to be this.

I grabbed her hair and pulled her head away from my neck as she moaned at the sudden movement. 

Pansy removed her underwear as I quickly unbuckled my belt. I zipped my zipper down and pulled my pants down along with my boxers just enough to pull my growing erection out.

And without hesitation, her legs wrapped around my waist as she pulled me into her,

An aggressive moan escaped her thin lips, and it was painful to hear.

Disregarding it, I plummeted myself into her recklessly, pumping in and out of her.

She moaned and groaned, and I just wanted her to shut the fuck up.

As soon as I came, my body was drenching with testosterone.

And so was regret.

I immediately pulled my pants on and buckled my belt.

"Going away so soon?" She giggled, "We were just getting started, Malfoy-."

I grabbed her throat out of rage, as she grabbed my forearm out of fright.

"If you ever speak of this moment, I will fucking kill you with my bare hands," I snapped, as I let her throat go. She coughed aggressively.

 I ran out the cellar immediately, as my body was sweating. 

Fuck, what the fuck did I just do? 

I could still smell Pansy on my fucking breath, and I wanted to gag.

What the fuck did I just fucking do?

"Draco!" My father shouted from a distance. I turned my head and saw him standing by the piano.

I stumbled towards him as my body was filled with disgust and regret.

"We're leaving. The auction is over," He said, "Are you drunk?"

I didn't respond.

"Forget it-. Let's go. You never fail to embarrass me, Draco."

*****

I entered the manor with regret.

The manor was quiet and still. The only sound I could hear was the sound of my father and I's dress shoes pattering on the floor, and the clocks ticking.

And the loud thoughts of guilt.

I stumbled up the stairs, struggling to step up.

From what felt like forever, I finally reached to the top of the stairs.

I wobbled down the hallway and finally reached my door.

Fuck.

I crept the door open to see Lucille sleeping peacefully under my covers. 

Her beautiful plump lips, and her long lashes resting on top of her bottom lids.

She's so fucking stunning, and I had the audacity to cheat.

I couldn't stare any longer. I turned around to leave the room, because I couldn't sleep next to her after what I fucking did.

"Draco?" A gentle voice protruded my thoughts. My heart stopped.

"Draco, is that you?" Lucille questioned. I turned around to see Lucille sitting up with the covers wrapped around her small body. "Where have you been?"

I gulped, and stumbled in my room. "I was-." I hiccuped, "I was out with my father-."

"Oh," she responded. "Are you coming to bed?"

I gulped. "Yes."

"Okay," she cooed, "Good."

As I stepped closer to the bed, I could feel her eyes burning right through me.

The guilt felt heavier; my throat was tighteneing.

I kicked my shoes off and laid my whole body onto the bed. Though I felt absolutely horrible, I melted at the comfort of my own bed.

Lucille wrapped her small around me and placed her head on my chest.

"You reek of alcohol," she muttered, "You're going to have a bad headache tomorrow."

"Mhm," was all I could fucking say right now.

"I'm sorry for being mean earlier," Lucille sighed, "I just-. You're right. I do need your help,"

I gulped.

"Thank you for being there for me, Draco," she whispered. "Please don't leave."

Lucille, I'm so sorry.

"I love you," Lucille said lowly, as she soon fell asleep on my chest.

***

HOLY. FUCK. I AM SO FUCKING SORRY.

D I S C U S S I O N