SHOUTOUT TO MY GIRL hiyaitschristine FOR WINNING THIRD PLACE IN MY FAN ART CONTEST! They are ammmaazing! Thank you so much for working so hard!

Okay. I'd like to explain why I've been taking for-and-ever to update.

First off, I moved to Florida.

Yeah, I know.

So, for a couple of months I was packing and then I was on the road for a couple of days.

And now I've been here for a week and a half and I've been unpacking literally the whole time.

Now that everything is almost unpacked I am now ready to get my writer juices flowing.

Anyway, I need to tell you that IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU SHARE THIS STORY WITH YOUR FRIENDS. I DONT CARE IF I SOUND SELFISH BECAUSE I WORK REALLY REALLY HARD TO GET THIS CRAP FINISHED AND NOBODY FREAKIN READS IT!

Okay thank you for paying attention to this very boring announcement.

Read on,

-Ally

* * *

"You did this." Zedd points to his face and gesture to his newly found boobs.

I keep my poker face intact and give him an emotionless look. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

The murderous look in his eye tells me that he's not buying it, thus causing me to run for my life.

"It was Darren!" I squeak, dodging his attempt to grab me and stopping at the other side of the kitchen island.

"Thanks a lot!" I hear Darren holler from the living room where he made a break for it and is now hiding behind the couch.

"You guys are dead. Do you have any idea what it's going to take to get this stuff off?" His voice is deadly calm and I can't deny that I'm freaking scared right now.

"Uh...nail polish remover?" I ask, trying not to laugh but at the same time trying not to crap my pants.

He doesn't seem amused, his nostrils flaring, causing his whiskers to move slightly.

I snort a little and he steps to the side to around to my side of the island, causing me to step in the opposite direction. Soon we've switched sides.

"You think this is funny? I have a date tonight." He spits out angrily.

I smirk and cross my arms over my chest, my heart beating wildly.

"Well, I hope she likes cats."

He lets out a growl before leaping across the island. Everything seems to go in slow motion as his arms go around my waist and he brings me to the ground. My head smacks against the tiled floor and my teeth clink together, vibrating my whole head.

His forearm goes up to pin my neck to the floor and I squirm under him. "Get off of me you devil child!"

He smirks but I can't take him seriously when Barbie is my idol is written across his forehead. "What's wrong? Now that the tables are turned you're not so confident? Typical Max. You can dish it but you can't take it."

"I didn't tackle you to the floor and give you a freaking concussion." I grit out, my jaw clenched.

I struggle against his grip, letting out a small gasp when the back of my head throbs.

I try to bring my hand to my head to feel the damage but Zedd must not realize what I'm trying to do because he firmly keeps my arms pinned to my sides.

"Zedd, I hit my..." I drift off, my vision going blurry.

"What? What are you whining about?" He snaps.

"Dude get off!" I hear Darren's voice in the distance...or maybe he's close by. I can't really tell. I seem to be drifting in and out of consciousness.

Zedd reluctantly gets off and dusts off his shorts as if he's too good to get dirty.

What a *insert bad word here*.

Darren - no wait there's two Darren's! The Darrens lean down and take hold of my forearm, helping my up.

"Are you okay?" They speak at the same time.

"Wow!" I gasp, putting my hands to my mouth. "How do you guys do that? Are you...are you psychic?!" I giggle, poking one of The Darrens' cheeks. But wait! I have superpowers and when I poke Darren number one's cheek, I poke Darren number two's cheek too!

"Uh...are you okay?" Darren shrinks back into one person and I blink.

"Of course I'm okay, Mom, why wouldn't I be?"

"I think you need to sit down..."

I squint at my mom and grab her cheeks. "Mom, since when was your voice so deep? And how did your eyebrows get so dark and thick?" I gasp in excitement, "that one went up! It's alive! It's a caterpillar!"

My mom chuckles and leads me to our couch, making me sit down.

"Mr. Caterpillar," I hold my fist to my mouth for a microphone because I need to be heard, "when exactly will you turn into a butterfly?"

No answer. How rude.

"Bad Mr. Caterpillar, bad bad! You speak to your elders. Look me in the eye young man! Where are your eyes? Stop hiding them, I'm sure you have beautiful eyes!"

"Dude, what the heck is wrong with her? She's acting like more of a psycho than usual." I hear another deep voice.

"Megan? Megan is that you?!" I shout at the top of my lungs. Megan might have bad hearing but is too prideful to admit it. So instead of embarrassing her I'll just make it easier for her to hear.

"Meg! Did you ask that creep Zedd out yet?! I don't know why you like him. He makes me mean!"

"Wait what?" Megan asks, her red eyebrows shoot up onto her forehead. I think this is funny so I giggle.

"Oh you silly silly, Meg. You have a - ahem - crush on Zeddewyn. Remember?"

"Dude, you'd better be cool about this." My mom whispers to Meg, but I hear the whispers! I am SUPERMAN!

"Hey guys, what's going on-" I hear Megan's voice.

"Oh wait, you're Megan, not him!" I point to the boy with the funny colored hair.

"So you're the one who likes Zedd!"

For some reason this makes Megan happy and tears of joy begin to drop from her eyes.

"What? Max, how could you?"

"What do you mean?" She's confusing me...

My mom clears her throat and the lump that's stuck in her throat bobs up and down.

My eyebrows furrow and I reach over to touch it. She pushes my hand away. "I'm so sorry Megan. Max fell and hit her head...I don't know why she's acting like this. I think we should take her to the hospital."

My eyes widen. "Can I go in the noisy truck on the way to the hospital?"

"What?" They all ask at the same time.

Megan shakes her head at me in confusion before turning to Mom.

"Okay. I'll go tell her mom-"

"No!" The other boy whisper/shouts. "This is all my fault. I tackled her and she hit her head. We don't need to involve her mom. It's not that big of a deal. We can just drive her to the hospital for a quick look over and come right back."

The others look unsure but eventually they both nod. "Fine." Mom says, her ball bobbing in her throat. I reach up and flick it. "Ow! Stop that." She takes my hand away and I begin to scream.

"Sh!" Zedd whispers (oh that's who this weird looking dude is!).

His hand goes over my mouth but I lick his palm and smirk in satisfaction when he retracts, rubbing his hand on his shorts.

"Just let her touch your freaking Adam's apple!" Megan hisses to Darren.

Wait...that's Darren, not mom! Wow, how could I have thought that...

"Yeah Darren, let me." I cross my hands over my chest.

He sighs and closes his eyes, annoyed...at me?

I begin to cry and I lean forward, throwing my arms around him. "Please don't be mad! I'll be good, I swear!"

He shushes me.

"Geez, how long will she be like this?" Zedd asks.

Darren shrugs and glances over at me. "I don't know but it's kind of funny..." 

"Hey look, Darren, I'm a fish." I tell him, sucking my cheeks I'm and puckering my lips at him. "Doesn't it make you wanna kiss me?"

He laughs and leans forward, kissing my cheek. "You bet."

"Okay Flirty-Mcflirts-a lot we need to get this weirdo to the hospital." Zedd tells Darren gruffly.

"Um...you might want to put a shirt on first?" Megan suggests, her face turning a little red.

I gasp and point to her face. "Megan! Your face is on fire! Call one one nine!"

"It's 'nine one one' and that won't be necessary." Zedd shuffles off to find proper clothing to cover his boobies.

"Why did that man have boobs, Darren?" I whisper.

Darren just laughs and helps me off the couch, my head spinning.

"My head hurts." I whine.

"I know, Max, but you can't go to sleep, okay?"

"Why not?" I yawn, feeling sleepy.

"Because you could have a concussion."

"I don't like percussion, it's loud and I can't keep a rhythm. Why did Miss Bates always make me percussion?"

"Not percussion, Max, concussion." I just nod even though this guy says some crazy biz and I have no clue what he's talking about.

When we make it to the car Darren buckles my seatbelt.

"Seatbelts, so we can be safe!" I exclaim.

Zedd and Megan groan while Darren just laughs.

"Please please let me video tape this." Zedd begs but Megan quickly declines.

"No way. Plus, when Max is back to normal she'll already be embarrassed."

"I really don't care..." Zedd gives her a tight smile.

I stick my tongue out at Zedd but he doesn't see.

"Who will help you say 'hey! I've figured out the way'?  What's my name? THE MAP! Say it again, THE MAP. IM THE MAP, IM THE MAP, IM THE MAP, IM THE MAP! He's the map, he's the map, he's the map he's he map, IM THE MAAAAAP!" I throw my hands up and grin, clapping at my performance.

"Lord help us all." Zedd murmurs under his breath.

The beginning of the ride consisted of Zedd telling me what an idiot I am, me poking his cheeks and laughing at the funny dots on his face and running my fingers along the whiskers on his cheeks.

"Do the dots give you superpowers?"

"Shut up."

"Do the dots speak to you?!" I gasp, laughing when his lip twitches in annoyance.

"Shut. Up."

"Wait...do the dots make you...angry? Is that why you're so grumpy all the time?" I pout, feeling sorry for the angry boy.

He sighs and runs and hands over his face and through his hair, tugging at the ends. "Someone shut her up before I cause even more brain damage."

"Zedd calm down. I don't know what's happening exactly but I do know that we should keep her calm and make sure she doesn't hit her head again." Megan speaks in a soothing tone.

Darren flips on the radio and my face brightens. I love this song!

"Open up the champagne, POP! This my house, COME ON!" I furrow my eyebrows and speak in a deep voice, getting all up in Zedd's grill with every word.

Darren and Megan laugh at me but I don't see what's so funny.

By the time the chorus comes we're all singing along and the bass is vibrating the seats.

"WELCOME TO MY HOUSE, BABY TAKE CONTROL NOW. WE CANT EVEN SLOW DOWN, WE DON'T HAVE TO GOOOO OUT!"

The rest of the ride went pretty much the same.

When we got to the big building I saw a big sign above the door.

"E.R? What's that mean?" I ask as Zeds unbuckles my seatbelt.

No one answers and when we begin our walk to the door I start guessing.

"Elephant Ride?" I gasp and clap my hands excitedly. "I get to ride an elephant? Yay, best day ever!" I laugh.

Megan clears her throat and puts her hands in her pockets. "Eh...no, Max, we aren't going on an elephant."

Darren snickers beside me and I frown. "So...what does E.R mean?"

"You'll see." Zedd murmurs.

*

"Hey! No no no! You are not putting that in my skin!" I whine, pushing the mean lady away.

She gives me a tight smile but I can tell that she's getting annoyed. Huh. I don't care, this mean old bag of a lady can stuff it for all I care.

"Dear, this is going to help you. You got a nasty bump on your head and this will help the swelling of the brain tissue go down. That's why you've been acting so silly."

I huff and cross my arms, giving her my angry eyebrows. "I feel fine, thank you very much!"

Megan sighs and places her hand on my arm. "Max, Darren and Zedd are waiting in the waiting room. Darren has a big surprise for you if you cooperate with the nice lady."

"I want Darren. He's funny and he has a ball in his throat." I whine.

She rolls her eyes and turns to the mean nurse lady. They whisper a few things and Megan leaves the room.

Soon after, Darren comes in, giving the nurse a nervous smile. "Sorry about this..."

The nurse grumbles something under her breath and I poke my tongue out at her.

"Darren! Come here." I smile at him.

He raises an eyebrow skeptically but hesitantly walks to stand in front of me.

I give him a shy smile before reaching over and running my finger from his forehead all the way down to his throat, stopping at his Adam's apple. I tap at it. "Does this hurt?"

He rolls his eyes and takes both of my hands in his.

"Okay, Max, I need you to sit nice and still while this nice nurse here gives you some medicine."

I nod and squeeze my eyes shut, not wanting to see the needle go into my arm. I feel a small pinch but nothing too painful.

The release of my hands causes me to open my eyes and look ahead at Darren.

His face blurs in and out and I slowly blink, barely keeping my eyes open.

"I added a small sedative so she should be put for about four to eight hours."

"Forty eight hours?!" I gasp.

"No." She snaps in annoyance. "Four to eight hours."

"Okay thanks for all your help."

Darren helps me off of the examining table and leads me to the door.

"We'll be home soon, okay? Zedd and Megan will take you to the car and I have to sign some papers real quick."

I nod slowly but my vision gets blurrier and blurrier until finally...

I'm asleep.

* * *

Yaaaasss Gaga.

So chapter seven is complete. For real, this chapter zoomed by....

Anyway, in this chapter I tried to bring some more humor to the story and I just happened to come up with this idea. I didn't plan this but...

I love you guys so very much. Please please vote and comment:)

If you have any ideas at all please let me know. For real, anything. New characters, plots twists, outfits, couples. So pretty much anything.

I will make sure that I given you full credit for any ideas k decide to use and will thank you personally.

Read on,

-Ally