Michael: "Struggle with depression" would seem to imply that I am bad at being depressed when I am, in fact, very proficient at being depressed.

*******************

Shadow Freddy: The ocean is a soup.
Withered Bonnie:
Withered Bonnie: Do elaborate.
Shadow Freddy: What are needed for something to be a soup?
Withered Bonnie: Erm... Water, salt, some form of vegetation, and personally I prefer some meat in mine.
Shadow Freddy: *Tilts head*
Withered Bonnie: The ocean is a soup.
Shadow Freddy: The ocean is a soup.

*******************

Nightmare, to Nightmare Fredbear: If you see Bonnie, give him this message. *makes a neutral face*
Nightmare: He'll know what it means.
*later*
Nightmare Fredbear: Oh, and Nightmare said to give you a message.
Nightmare Fredbear: *makes a neutral face*
Nightmare Bonnie: Oh no. The neutral face of displeasure.

*******************

Lefty: I'm so tired.
Henry: Did you get to bed late?
Lefty: No.
Henry: Did you do something strenuous?
Lefty: No.
Henry: Then why are you tired?
Lefty: I'm alive.
Henry: Sounds exhausting.

*******************

Funtime Freddy: I put the pun in punishment.
Ballora: I put the top in unstoppable.
Circus Baby: I put the cute in execute.
Lolbit: I put the sexy in dyslexia.
Michael: I put the ass in class.
Funtime Foxy: I put the D in Freddy.

*******************

*Roxy and Glamrock Chica are in a car teetering on the edge of a cliff*
Glamrock Chica: oh my god, Roxy, backwards!
Roxy: Really, Chica? I thought I might go forwards into the river, I thought that would be a fun thing to do.

*******************

Bon-Bon: How petty can you get?
Funtime Freddy: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.

*******************

Chica: Made you all playlists!
Chica: Freddy, yours has only heavy metal, and is dark like your soul.
Chica: Bonnie, yours has sad songs and blues to pair with your crippling depression.
Chica: And Foxy has the ABBA Gold album.

*******************

Chica: I will find us a covered wagon and horses.
Chica: If you two can manage to not kill each other while I'm gone.
Golden Freddy: Oh, please. We're not children.
*Chica leaves*
Golden Freddy, casually: ...Eat shit and die.
Freddy, also casually: Yes, fuck you.

*******************

Gregory: Are you reading fan fiction?
Vanessa, reading an article about extremely rare diseases: Wh- No.
Gregory: Oh, is it on AO3?
Vanessa: This is CNN.

*******************

*at a zoo*
Funtime Foxy: What are they in for?
Ballora: Foxy, this isn't prison.
Funtime Foxy: So, they can leave?
Ballora: No, but-
Funtime Foxy, pointing at a meerkat: I bet that one murdered someone.

*******************

Mike: If I didn't know better, Jeremy, I'd say you were scared.
Jeremy: Heh, scared?
*absolute silence*
Jeremy: DID YOU HEAR THAT?!

*******************

Glamrock Bonnie: Why aren't there friend pick up lines? Pick up lines to make friends like-
Glamrock Bonnie, to Glamrock Freddy: Hey, that's a cute outfit. You know where it would look better? On nobody else, because you're a beautiful individual.
Monty, to Roxy: Be my friend or I'll set the entire pizzeria on fire.
Glamrock Chica: There are two types of people.

*******************

Spring Bonnie: The ritual. To preform it, requires a sacrifice.
Fredbear: Sacrifice? I nominate C.C.
C.C: Wait, what?
Fredbear: Because you're little, you'll fit on a barbecue.
C.C: I'm 5'9, it's like average height in most of the world!
Spring Bonnie: It's not that kind of sacrifice, guys!

*******************

Michael: That's not funny.
Afton: I thought it was funny.
Michael: You don't count. You started laughing in the middle of a funeral because you started thinking of a meme you saw on Facebook.

*******************

Bonnie: Are you an 'arr' pirate or a 'yo ho ho' pirate?
Foxy: I'm a 'I'm not paying $600 for photoshop' pirate.