Funtime Freddy: You know what bothers me? Bats. Why can bats fly?
Bon-Bon: Not again!
Funtime Freddy: No. Seriously, who gave them the right? They're mammals! Mammals walk on land, no exceptions.
Funtime Foxy: Just wait until you hear about whales.
Funtime Freddy: What now?

****************************

Glamrock Freddy: Roxy... How do I begin to explain Roxy?
Glamrock Bonnie: Roxy is flawless.
Glamrock Chica: I hear her hair's insured for $10,000.
Sun: I hear she does car commercials... in Japan.
Monty: One time she punched me in the face... it was awesome.

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Michael on Monday: *glues a dime to the sidewalk* Heh heh heh.
Michael on Wednesday: *walking down the street* Ooh hey! A dime!

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Withered Bonnie, proudly: I slept.
Marionette: Is that so much of a rare thing that you have to say it?

****************************

Freddy: We're having a baby.
Bonnie: Oh, congratu-
Chica, slamming adoption papers onto the table: It's you, sign here.

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Gregory: Would it be discrimination to only hire employees at my doughnut shop who have the same name?
Cassie: Legally, I don't believe that breaches any discrimination laws. Morally though... I don't know.
Gregory: I believe God is on my side when it comes to Duncans' Doughnuts.

****************************

Monty: How the hell did you crash the car?!
Roxy: So, I was just driving today, right? And my navigation told me to go straight.
Roxy: I was like "woah, that's homophobic". Instead, I went gay. And THAT'S when I got into an accident.
Monty: ...
Glamrock Chica, with a proud smile: And THAT'S who I'm in love with, ladies and gentlemen.

****************************

Michael: Wasn't icarly that guy that girlbossed too close to the sun because he was down for Apollo?
Helpy: ICARUS?

****************************

Rockstar Bonnie: Okay. Hypothetically speaking, how mad would you be if I burned a hot pocket so badly it could probably fall off a ten-story building and be completely fine?
Rockstar Foxy: Bonnie, what did you do?
Rockstar Bonnie: Take a guess.

****************************

Toy Freddy, watching Withered Bonnie and Withered Freddy fight: Are you sure they should be fighting? What if they get hurt?
Withered Golden, not bothered by the chaos: It's fine. They're too evenly matched to hurt each other.
Toy Freddy: Then... who's the strongest out of you three?
Withered Bonnie: Golden.
Withered Freddy: Golden.
Withered Golden: Me.

****************************

*Chica teaching Bonnie to drive and taking Foxy along for the ride*
Chica: That's a pothole. To the left!
Bonnie: Take it back now y'all! *Drives into the pothole*
Foxy, sticking his face into the front over the center console: Cha cha real smooth.
Bonnie: I don't think that's how the song goes.
Chica, crying and gripping the handle: Please just take me home.
Bonnie: Country roads.
Foxy: To the place.
Bonnie and Foxy in unison: I belong!
Chica, crying harder: What the fuck?

****************************

C.C: How would you guys deal with a toxic friend?
Physic Friend Fredbear: Tell them how you really feel.
Nightmare Fredbear: Slowly distance yourself from them.
Nightmare Bonnie: Engage in a 1v1 sword battle and if they lose, they have to stop being toxic or pay the price.
C.C, being handed a sword: ...well heck.

****************************

Afton: The real secret to immortality? Not dying. You want to be immortal? Okay, that's easy. Just don't die. That's it. Refuse to die. There you go.
Michael: But how-
Afton, ignoring him: "But how", you may ask. Well, easy. Just don't do it. Refuse to. Say "no thanks".

****************************

Orville Elephant: Alright, what pizza toppings should we order?
Mr. Hippo: Anchovies and pineapple.
Happy Frog: I like beets!
Nedd Bear: Have you guys ever had a cheese-less pizza?
Orville Elephant: I'm disowning all of you.

****************************

Chica, pointing a camera at Foxy: There he is, our sweet baby.
Foxy, holding a cigarette and a beer: What-?