Chica: When I see initials carved into a tree with a heart, I think it's so romantic. Two lovers on a date... one of them carrying a knife for some reason.

******************

Funtime Foxy: Don't trust everything you see on the internet.
Funtime Chica: Pfft. What possibly nonsense could come from the internet? Oh. Did you know that the Earth is actually flat?
Funtime Foxy: *Takes away Funtime Chica's phone* Yeah, that enough for you.

******************

Toy Freddy: So, are you gonna explain how the hell you crashed my car?
Toy Bonnie: Well, we were driving and there was a deer in the road, so I said, "Chica, deer!"
Toy Freddy: ...And what did Chica do?
Toy Bonnie: ...She said, "yes, honey?"

******************

Bonnie: Do crabs think people walk sideways?
Foxy: ...Bonnie, what the hell.

******************

Afton: I'm never donating blood ever again.
Afton: The second you walk through the door, it's just one invasive question after another!
Afton: 'Where did you get it?' 'Why is it in a bucket?' I mean, do you want it or not?

******************

Vanessa: Are you a painting?
PlushBaby: What-?
Vanessa: Because I want to pin you to a wall.
Circus Baby: OH GOD, I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY YOU WANTED TO HANG HER OR SOMETHING-

******************

Pigpatch: Uhh... Mr. Hippo just asked if we want to...
Pigpatch: "Fell the mighty before their time and display their carcasses in our homes?"
Orville, not even looking up from his phone: He's asking if you wanna cut down Christmas Trees.
Pigpatch: Oh, that makes more sense.

******************

Moon: Wanna hear some dark humor?
Gregory: Yeah, I love dark humor.
Moon: Alright.
Moon: *Turns off the lights*
Moon: Knock knock.
Gregory: Turn the damn lights back on.

******************

Marionette: Oh, they left the bowl out?
Marionette: It says, "take two pieces of candy."
Balloon Boy: Nobody around though...
*Balloon Boy grabs the entire bowl and runs off with it*
Marionette: NO—

******************

Glamrock Chica, texting Glamrock Freddy: Freddy! Help, I'm being kidnapped!
Glamrock Freddy: Where are you?
Glamrock Chica: I'm with some strange person. In a car. Help.
Glamrock Freddy: I'll call Roxy.
Roxy, answering her cell: Y'ello?
Glamrock Freddy: Where's Chica? She texted me that she was being kidnapped.
Roxy: Chica? Whaddya mean, she's right next to me-
Roxy:
Roxy: I'll call you back. *Hangs up*
Roxy: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN'T THAT BAD!
Glamrock Chica: WHO ARE YOU!?

******************

*Bonnie dies in a game with ships*
Freddy: This ship is no longer a ship of love, it's a ship of vengeance, a gavel of justice against all that is wrong in the world, showing no mercy, as no mercy was shown to us.
Freddy: The spark of love will now fuel the fires of destructive glory as I wage my war across the world with righteous fury.
Foxy: Legend has it that Bonnie still haunts the ship, stealing my fucking drinks.
Bonnie: Of course I do.

******************

Springtrap: Everyone knows that Santa is an invention designed by the big five corporations to sell tinsel and video games to an unsuspecting public.
Michael: The whole "childhood wonder" stage just blew right past you, didn't it?

******************

Nightmare Mangle: You're a lying piece of shit!
Nightmarionne: Oh, yeah? You're the idiot that thinks you can get away with everything you do, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!
Jack-O-Bonnie: I'm leaving and I'm taking Nightmare with me!
Jack-O-Chica, gathering cards: Aaaaand that's enough Monopoly for today.