You can't love someone unless you
love yourself first.Bullshit. I've never
loved myself. But you... I love you
too much, I forgot what hating
myself felt like.
-J.P

    "Victor?" I reached my hand out to pat the normally loud, snoring ball laying next to me, but it was empty. I squinted open my eyes, the bright light on the night stand making it impossible to see.

I winced retracting my injured hand back. Okay, he's probably in the restroom or something. I shifted so that I faced the large window and took advantage to read the time. 1:30 a.m

That gives me what, ten more hours to sleep?

God he's probably take a shi-,"BARK!"

With a groan I reached out my hand downward to scratch Makkachin's head. Yet he too was no where to be found. I slowly sat up with a glare, had Victor even come to sleep? I glanced to left, neatly done. Not a single sign of Victor.

That only meant one thing. He slept on the couch.

I instantly felt horrible. I did this, I drove him away, and now I'm sitting here on our bed while he's out there probably scared out of his mind. Okay so maybe I was exaggerating but Victor and I have always slept together.

I couldn't think of a reason why he'd choose to sleep on the couch, if anything wouldn't he want to do the opposite...

Was it because I shut the door? Victor must of thought I wanted to be alone. Oh, how wrong he was. I heard him constantly check up outside the door to make sure I was breathing, but he never came in.

I was only craving one thing, and one thing only. His arms around me.

Again, I'm to blame. I hadn't said anything after our 'Make up'. Partly because there was nothing else to be said. I wasn't ignoring him per-say, I just felt like being silent would be more comfortable.

I swung my legs off the bed and stood up with support from the bed frame. Victor's shirt falling low enough to cover what I needed. I bit my lip at the sudden dizziness that shot through me head." Come on Yuri."

I shook my head, I was going to drag him back to this bed with me. No way was he sleeping on the couch,he hasn't done anything wrong.

With stumbling legs I carefully walked to the door and pulled it open. Makkachin came rushing to me, jumping and spinning up and down.

"Woah woah hey boy! Hey, hey calm down what's wrong." With a frown I pushed his curls back as he continued to whimper. I made kissy sounds and guided him towards the living room.

"Victor?"

Makkachin barked again, I dismissed him as I felt around the wall for the light switches. With a flick the lamps lit up around the living room. Again with the blinding light.

But even with the lights on, there was no Victor. The couch was empty except for the scattered blankets and bowl of chips on the table.

"Where  can he be?" Makkachin barked again I tuned around this time to see him making signals to go towards him the restroom.

"He's not there Makka." I smiled gently but he was very persisted.

With a sign I walked to Makka and turned down the hall of the restroom. There a note was stuck to the door with big red letters. "He left me a note?"

Now I was mad. He can leave a note but he didn't have the courage to enter the room!?

I unstuck the note from the door and walked back to the couch. I plopped down and stared at the red printed letters. "Went to Ice rink .Will be back, I'm sorry for leaving you alone love. Call me if you need anything."

I pulled out my phone from my chest pocket and dialed his number.

Please leave a message for-

"You told me to call you if I needed something. I need something and you won't pick up. Ironic..." I signed and fell back against the pillows.

I shut my eyes and swallowed the lump in my throat. "Where are you Victor...I need you.."

Makkachin licked my hand, my injured hand, and I opened my eyes to see his fluffy head resting on my palm with the rest of his body laying on top of me. "I miss your dad Makka. Papa really misses you dad..." I wiped a fallen tear away from my face.

My head was swirling with anger, sadness,guilt, and the stupid reminder of why all this was happening in the first place.

As always, I let my depression get the best of me. I leaned up a bit to turn the only light off.  Leaving me and a comfortable Makkachin enveloped in the darkness.

I'll give him a piece of my mind.  It was 1:56 a.m and there was still no sign of him. My only option left is to wait it out now.

________

Nearly an hour later, I heard the door creak open and a pair of keys hit the table. A shuffle here and there and the sound of a duffle hitting the ground. Nows my chance.

With a sign I slowly sat up and waited for Victor to turn around. "Hi." That is super creep, I resisted the urge to face-palm myself.

Victor jumped and stepped back, he started at me with wide blue eyes with a hand on his heart." Yuri?!" He screeched.

I would of snorted if I wasn't pissed off, and it wasn't nearly 3 in the morning.

I cleared my throat and sat up straighter, looked him straight in the eye. "Victor-"

Then he did something I least expected, he began crying.

*

A/N: Those damn feel 😭😭💔hope you liked this chapter!

-Nathan