Even if I'm not here, I'll always be with you in Spirit.
                               -Victor Nikiforov

"Care to explain to me why they're here?" I didn't mind really. I mean for Christ sakes they're like family to me. Any other situation I wouldn't of questioned it but, this wasn't any other situation.

"We um we brought flowers..." Mila hesitantly stepped towards me. She didn't cower but I can tell she was affected by my glare.

What stirred me up so much?

The fact that I clearly told Yuri not to tell, post, call or even mention this unfortunate event to anyone.

Yuri glared, sending me a confused glance. It was unlikely for me to be rude to...really anyone.

He huffed and leaned against the hallway wall outside of Yuuri's room.

"Listen old man, we all skipped practice today, I for one skipped two days, for the pig. If I were you I'd appreciate the fact that we care enough to visit the pork cutlet bowl."

"He's right Vitya, Yuuri isn't my student but as a fellow rink mate and acquaintance of mine you can't prohibit us from seeing him." Yakov spoke up. I could and quite frankly it's very tempting.

He is my fiancé...

Yakov walked into the conversation, taking his hat off after speaking to one of the nurses on Yuuri's condition.

"Stop hogging him Victor and let us fucking in already!"

"Yura!"Yakov scold Yuri. Meanwhile Georgi and Mila stared me down. I had to be honest with myself, it really wasn't my place to say whether or not they could come in.

I was thinking on Yuuri's behalf.

Amazingly enough not one thought of the possibility of Yuuri not wanting them here. Yuuri isn't the very least a bad person, that isn't what I'm trying to say. He gets along with all of them during practice quite well. Especially Yakov and Mila, they all encourage him, Yakov in his own way, and even help Yuuri pick up the basics of Russian.

It was Yuuri's anxiety that worried me.

I signed pinching the bridge if my nose. We'll see how this goes. I smiled, "I guess you guys are already here so, thank you for the flowers."

Mila sent me a brief smile. Slowly going around me, entering the room.

"Fucking bout time!" Yuri on the other hand harshly bumped my shoulder and plopped down on the nearest chair inside.

Georgi and Yakov right behind them. I was last, I needed a moment to take in everything one more time. I kissed my ring once and closed the door behind me.

Mila placed the boutique on the stand besides Yuuri's pale form. The room was silent, something I've grown to hate.

All except for the constant heart monitor beeping.

Mila reached out to touch Yuuri's palm but retracted it immediately after. "He's so cold ...isn't the heater on?"

My eyes widened.

I dropped to my knees, pulling Yuuri against my chest, cradling him in my arms. I shook him over and over but he wasn't stirring.

"Please  p-please no.. you have to win gold! YOU TOLD ME YOU WOULD WIN FOR US, YOU TOLD ME THAT WE w-we would get married and you would stay by my side .."

I cupped his colorless cheeks. He was cold...So so cold....

" Victor!"

"H-huh?" I flinched, Mila called out to me. Her eyes slightly teary, she glanced up from where she sat ,"Are you okay? Like really okay?" She asked.

All I could do is nod. Of course I wasn't okay, I can't stop reminiscing last nights memories . They haunted me like a six year olds fear of monsters. Except this one was real.

Georgi stood up claiming he'd go ask a nurse about it. Yakov made himself comfortable near the corner where Yuri sat. Probably to make sure he didn't cause any trouble. Mila pulled out a chair like me but to Yuuri's left.

"What happened to him." She wondered eyeing the bandage.

"The pig cut himself"

"Yuri!" Is he serious right now?!

"Oh my god?! Was it an accident? How did it happen?" Mila was oblivious as ever.  She didn't know it was self inflicted.

"Are you an idiot, he did it to himself. Pathetic as ever.." he mumbled under his breath. It took every muscle and brain cell in my body not to lung at him.

"Shut up your just salty because for once the attention isn't on you!" Mila barked at him.

"Oh so because I don't fucking cut myself that makes me an attention whore?"

"BOTH OF YOU BE QUIET!" Yuri nearly jumped out of his skin. Yakov's voice boomed though the room .I am beyond pissed at this point, yet another reason why I didn't want them to be here.

"We must be respectful this is a hospital, you're behaving like children!
Stop acting so foolishly and be aware that Yuuri is resting. He's gone through enough." His voice now a whisper-yell.

Yakov sent me knowing look. The message was clear, they will speak later.Minutes after their argument Georgi returned with said nurse.

"Vic..Victor.." Yuuri's raspy voice caught our  immediate attention. Brown eyes squinted at me. He eyed his surroundings then squeezed his eyes shut.

"Moya lyubov'! Yuuri how do you feel?Is the room too bright for you? Should I call a doctor!? Oh my god Mila call a doctor! Yuri love does anything hurt?!"

I held his uninjured hand tightly. His right hand, kissing it multiple times. I felt the the gold piece of metal press against mine. The sign of our love.

"No but you're too loud..." He smiled lightly. Yuuri was still as pale as a ghost, but a tint of pink dusted his cheeks. Chocolate orbs opened wide,  tiredness filling his iris's.

I caresses his cheek with my thumb gently, getting lost into his eyes. Savoring the softness of his skin.

He's so beautiful even in his darkest times.

So warm....

I choked out a laugh, tears rolling down my face. My laughter turned to hiccups and my hiccups turned into sobs. Yuuri's face would of been priceless if this entire situation weren't so fucked up.

We were alone at this point, only our souls left to be reunited again.

"Victor...I'm sorry...I'm so so sorry. I'm such a disappointment .After all we have been through together and I I-I..what have I done." Yuri cried helplessly and I embraced the love of my life as tight as I could.

"Yuri no! You have never been a disappointed to me or anyone! Don't you ever say that again you hear me?" I gasped his face in my hands, rubbing away his fallen tears.

But Yuri wasn't done. He shook his head frantically.

"I can still skate! I p-promise you Victor I will not fail you! I will win!" I began sobbing again. How can someone so weak stay so strong? I felt as if though I was breaking into pieces with ever word he said.

He sat up straighter gasping the back of my head, softy running his slender fingers though my locks.

"I was so scared I would be a bargain... that I would get in the way of your skating..." he continued.

"I began hearing voices in my head, I told myself you didn't care, that you would choose skating over me anytime, that it'd be best if I never interfered. How can someone coach and be coach at the same right? It's impossible...."

For 4 months since his arrival , this was what was tearing my Yuri down? How could I have been so damn dense!?

"I'm such a fool..."

I pressed our foreheads together, bringing him closer to me. I kissed his eyes, his head, his cheek , his lips. I loved this man and I was going to make sure he knew skating was far less important compared to him.

I'd rather lose everything than lose Yuri.

I let my lips linger against his a while longer, our fingers interlocked.

"I love your far more than words can say Yuri, you are above anything in my world. Skating, my well being, anything you could think of." I spoke against his trembling lips.

"You are not a fool."

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A/N:  You guys thought the last few chapter were bad? I haven't even started ;) Btw kudos to those who figured out the songs actually relate to the chapters
                                        -Nathan