010421

There was one more sticky note Jiho's friend was about to show me, when a voice smacked me out of the trance. If my hand hadn't been on the railing, I would have fallen backwards and down the stairs.

"There you are Sujin, let's go. Are these friends?"

When I looked at the bottom of the staircase, Jimin was patiently waiting, having just checked me out of the front office.

When I looked back at the group of students. They were slowly backing off. The girl who'd shown me the papers quickly snatched the remaining ones from my hands, and then turned on her heels. The rest followed after a few looks my way, eyeing Jimin.

I couldn't believe what had just happened.

"Sujin?"

I flinched again, muttering a sorry to Jimin who I'd instinctively taken a step away from when he suddenly showed up by my side.

"What was that? What were your friends showing you?"

I looked at him, into his searching eyes hiding under a few strands of dirty blonde hair. He inspected me as I studied him silently.

"It..." What was I supposed to say? "It was nothing, sorry for holding you up."

"Nothing?"

Even if I had wanted to explain to him, I didn't have the words for it. I didn't know how to describe the utter fear that was taking over me. I just wanted to get away.

I took the railing in one hand and started down the stairs, hoping Jimin would follow.

When I got to the bottom to find Jimin wasn't there, the sick feeling that had been growing instantly got worse. Jimin was still at the top of the staircase, holding a bright pink sticky note up to his face.

"Jimin-"

He turned, facing me slowly. His expression was so soft, yet so hard at the same time. Soft at me, rocky at the note. It was almost frightening.

In the next second, he stomped down the stairs, catching up to my side in a split second and grabbing my hand with such force, I almost expected an apology.

I struggled to keep up with his long strides as we exited the school building in a millisecond, and we were instantly in the car with Hoseok in the driver's seat.

"This," Jimin said, his voice incredibly harsh as he buckled his seatbelt. I'd never heard him like this before. "This! Read this! Look at this! Take this in! Memorize it with your heart, because I know for one thing it's going to be imprinted in Sujin's heart until she dies and that's not okay. This is not okay!"

"Holy-hold on, Jimin," Hoseok said, eyeing me as I sat quietly and frozen in the back seat. "What is this?"

"What do you call this? What do you call this?! A threat? Bullying? Abuse? What the heck is this, Hoseok? Students threatening Sujin, suggesting she should take her own life? To join her dead friend that she's already grieved over for weeks? No. No, this is not okay, no I will not take it, and I won't take anything for an answer except knowing who these students are and how they're going to learn their lesson! Because my little sister has paid for this for way too long and there's no way she's going to keep paying for something she never did! I'm done with this, Hoseok-hyung. I'm so done. I mean- so what, we're going to let her be punished for loving someone, giving them her all, being kind, and being the best!? Bringing the best out of herself and that person? And now she gets to be abused? Killed because of it? No. No, no no no. Not even an option. Not even a fricking option."

My tense body sat there as Jimin's words rang off the car's small walls. I could only relate to the familiar saying, you could hear a pin drop.

Jimin was huffing in Hoseok's wide-eyed face, and no one said a thing.

I decided to attempt to save the situation. "It was just a note-"

"No." Jimin turned around in his seat to face me. "It was not just a note, and you know that. It was handed to you with that whole gang right there. What would have happened if they tried something? Started beating you up, shoving you down the stairs or saying the threats in your face? What would you have done if I wasn't there?"

"I would have been fine, they didn't try-"

"No." He closed his eyes and shook his head before turning to Hoseok. "Let's get home. I'm telling Namjoon to unenroll her from SOPA tonight."

"Huh?" I asked, my heart dropping. "Jimin?"

"This just- Sujin, this isn't right. This isn't the right place for you."

As Hoseok rolled out of the school's driveway, he glanced at Jimin. "She worked hard to get into that school. Where else is she supposed to go? You know her dreams are to become an idol, hm?"

"Yeah," I said slowly, now more worried about being unenrolled than what had just happened, "and all my friends are there. And Jungkook. And... I don't know."

Hoseok nodded, "I don't think it's a rational decision to make based on a peer problem."

"Exactly, Jimin," I agreed, "Why make me run away from the problem?" I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned back in the seat with a puff. "I won't let Namjoon unenroll. That's stupid."

"Really? That's stupid? Really, Sujin?"

"Yeah, like seriously. Where else am I supposed to go?" Jimin was silent to my argument. "Isn't this going to happen no matter where I go for school? And like, what if it's worse somewhere else?" I thought for a second. "Seriously, Jimin, SOPA is the school for performing arts in Seoul. I don't know if I'll achieve my dream if I don't go there. Please don't make me move. And also please don't make a big deal about the notes. Geesh."

Both of my brothers were quiet as we got into the driveway and I exited the car, heading for the front door. I wasn't sure whether I was more annoyed with the people at school or with my brothers at the moment. All I could do was tell Namjoon that Jimin wasn't thinking straight, as I passed him in the dorm hall, and that I was going to spend time alone in my room, before doing just that.

--------

It was after I'd heard some rough arguing downstairs as well as a few calls to Sejin in the hall that Jungkook, who had just gotten home from school himself, and Taehyung came and asked if I wanted to go out for dinner with them. Just them, and none of the other boys.

After they were reassured that I was feeling good enough to get out of the house again, the three of us went to a nearby grill that smelled of lavender when you entered, but slowly turned to the aroma of barbeque and salt as you settled in. It was well-lit, modern, and clean.

None of this was without the special addition of a Big Hit staff accompanying us, a body-guard type member that kept his silence in a corner of the place with his head kept low but his eyes surveying the area every few moments for possible threats. After Minie had talked to BigHit about the situation at hand, it became a first priority that we be watched over until we were sure no new events would erupt. We still hadn't seen her brother in a while, and it was rather suspicious that way.

My first instinct was to push away the uplifting aura of the building and continue to sulk in the feeling that'd settled in since I'd gotten home before the school day was over. But, with the help of Kook and Tae, I was able to grab the warmth from the tall lamps hanging from the white ceiling and place it inside of myself. Inside my heart.

At least for now.

I had a bagel sandwich and an iced tea sitting in front of me, and it actually sounded good. The other two dug into their small dishes first, as I followed with my thoughtful nibbles.

Mealtimes had just changed for me. Sometimes, I had things to say, but only really had the energy to listen, eat, and escape. Other times, I was ready to fall asleep- or maybe that was all the time. Either way, a certain drowsiness had overcome my every effort to eat food, and it just wasn't a pleasure anymore.

I almost wished Jungkook wouldn't start a conversation with me, but he did, asking, "Have you seen any new media coverages recently?"

"Recently?" I set down my food and straightened up in my seat. "No, not really."

"Besides Jiho?" Tae asked mid-bite.

"Well, yeah, I've seen that... kinda."

Jungkook nodded, "I mean, sis, I think that's good. It's just interesting because-"

"The other boys took off the parental controls? On my phone? So I can access the internet now?"

"Well they did," Kook agreed.

"But who says it was the others?" Tae asked.

"Hm? Are you saying it was you guys?"

Jungkook shot the younger a small glare, but then turned back to me. "Not specifically, but anyways. That's beside the point."

"Okay," I shrugged, "so what is the point?"

"It's just a really dark place right now."

I laughed a little, but with a small smile as to show I wasn't scoffing. "What's new?"

"Well," he wiggled in his seat a little as he picked up his drink and took a sip, "I mean, I feel like this is going to make you more curious, and more susceptible to looking yourself, but it's just more aimed... towards you. You know?"

I pursed my lips together, making a small face, but then pushing it aside. "Alright. That's interesting, but not surprising." I added the last but in a mumble. "You should've seen me at school today."

"Well sure," Taehyung said, "but I don't think I like it. The media being so aimed on you- not because."

"Yeah, I can tell. What's there to do? Nothing much from what I can see." I took a sip of my drink and folded my arms over my chest. "So... who else is involved?"

"Who else?"

"Like, I mean... there's HXSTS, and then that means Suho, and Dae, and well there's also Minie, and Ji...ho."

Jungkook nodded with a small chuckle in his throat. "Yep. I think you got all of them. Maybe. Almost."

My mouth gaped. "Well darn. I wasn't quite expecting that."

"Yeah, I knew that's what you'd say."

I let out a breath. "Okay, then. So how bad?"

"Not that bad, just invasive."

"All media is invasive, Jungkook."

"I know that. It's just... The articles. And maybe the trending hashtags at the moment."

My hand inched towards my back pocket where my phone was.

"Please, I know firsthand it's just better not to pay attention to it. That's why I wanted to tell you."

My hand paused, hovering over my back pocket. I locked my eyes with his, trying to read the sincerity of his words from something other than his words. It wasn't working, but I decided to trust my older brother.

With a miniature nod, I placed my hand back in my lap. "Okay, Jungkook, I won't. I won't look, I won't pay attention to it."

He smiled, but for some reason, I wanted to challenge how sincere it was.

"The thing is," I continued, "haven't I seen the worst? The very worst? The epitome of all bad... media?"

Both of the boys raised their eyebrows, silently asking for an explanation.

"I mean, what about what Namjoon showed me that one time? The death threats and all that? Like, what could be worse?"

Taehyung shook his head. "I don't think you realize."

Kook agreed. "I don't think you understand."

I was quiet for a moment, trying not to take their comment personally. "Okay... Sure. That's valid." I shook my head. "It's whatever, then. No media."

They looked satisfied, but that didn't help the slow, sinking feeling that was crawling through me. If only they knew the words that had been thrown at me earlier that day.

Maybe that was the worst.

Maybe, the worst was something none of the members knew.

Maybe, it was just me.

Maybe, I was alone this time.

My brothers must've noticed the glazed look over my eyes as I thought, because Jungkook cleared his throat and asked if I had anything else to say.

"I just need to go home. I'm so exhausted, Kook. I've been waiting all day, I just need to go home and cr-" I stopped.

That was the last weakness I wanted to expose to my brothers.

Jungkook, studying my eyes as if they were my brain, rubbed a hand against my back and grabbed his things as Tae followed. "If you need to go home and cry, we can go home and cry. Just... maybe let me know when you do. My bedroom will be waiting for you...."

My brother's last sentence didn't process in my head. When my phone dinged and Minie's name lit up on my lockscreen, nothing else mattered. Somehow, I knew she had an answer. Maybe it was the answer. Whichever, I knew it was one I needed.

Quickly, I swiped the screen and let the text come up.

To answer your question, they found his car 50 ft below the Han river. That's how. 

a/n hey guysss!

Just something to get you guys excited about... if you guys have Discord, Kai was kind enough to make a server for all you readers! There'll be chats to talk about characters in the book, theories, and thoughts and feelings while reading, as well as to connect with other ARMY! If you have Discord and are interested, stay tuned, we'll be sure to release the link by next Monday. 

I hope you all had a fun and safe new year's eve and day! I 100% did X) Happy new year, I'm truly wishing the best for all of you! Let's make it a better year! I can't believe it's 2021, since it feels like 2020 never even happened as it was so flat -_- (my emotions certainly weren't, though. So I'm hoping those maybe get a break this year lol). 

See you next week!

-Rose

I just wanted to let you all know, if you didn't already know, that Suho's a hoe but he's my hoe. Fight me if you think he's not a hoe, I will take you on. 

-Your lovely co-author Kai who does not sleep enough for this