~A little over two years ago~

The sun was barely sitting above the horizon, turning the entire sky above, and the thick dark clouds rolling in, on fire. Once the sun disappears beneath the horizon of this sad land, the sky would turn dark, and the clouds would be nothing but darkness too, tightly shrouding Qleph. It would be as if the light, or anything else outside the walls, were forbidden to touch the kingdom. 

Gil was beside me, as he always was, his hand on the sword at his waist. His face was blank and void of all emotion, but I knew how he felt. I was feeling it too. He and I always did when we had to do what we were about to do... We couldn't let our feelings get in the way of things, because in the end, it could mean our own deaths. But it wasn't always easy to shut the emotions off on the inside. Already, regret was flooding my system. 

People dropped what they were doing and dashed inside their homes, or quickly and silently stepped aside as we passed, holding those close to them tighter. Everyone kept their eyes down or averted, scared of accidentally starting something by just looking in our direction. They didn't know Gil and I weren't like that, that we weren't going to hurt them any more than we had to, unlike the others. But of course, when they looked at us, they only saw the kings guards. And they had a right to be frightened... we were bad people too, just like the rest of those in authority. In their eyes... did it matter in the end, how many people each of us had hurt? 

We stopped outside a tavern, and I think we were both composing ourselves enough before stepping inside. Light spilled out of the tavern and washed onto the dirty cobblestone street as if trying to scrub it clean. Inside, you could hear men's laughter and see the two bar maids leaning over tables, their bosoms the main attraction and focus to the men they were pouring drinks for. They would laugh and smile at the men, even as the men rested their hands on them, but you could tell they were miserable, having to do what they had to for survival in a world that didn't care if you lived or died. How similar they were to Gil and I, but yet how completely different. 

"Let's go..." Gil said to me in a sad whisper, and pushed open the tavern doors. I trailed behind him, moving my hand to where my sword sat at my side, hoping more than anything I would not have to use it. Whatever it came down to, we had to do this. We didn't have a choice. Gil nodded his head in the direction of a man in his mid twenties sitting by himself, talking to one of the bar maids as he held her skirt in his hand, keeping her from turning away. "He's in the corner over there."

"Our king is a fool, an unworthy leader. He's for damn sure not my king." The man said to her in a hushed tone, before taking a long gulp of beer. "I'm leaving this place. You'd be smart to join me, and tell everyone else to do the same!" 

"Sir, please stand up," Gil ordered, and I saw the men in the tavern look in our direction. Many of the men here were also guards, off duty, and they were staring at us expectantly with goofy grins on their faces. They got a rush from drama and other peoples pain. "You're under arrest for treason." 

"What is this?" The man let go of the bar maids dress now and she scurried off behind the bar, frightened at the turn of events. Probably scared she might be accused of treason and arrested also for just being near this man. But she didn't know we weren't going to hurt her. The man turned his eyes to us, hatred burning in them. Especially when he saw me. "A woman working for the kings guard? You don't see that every day! You must really be a bitch!" 

"Get up! I will not ask you again." Gil demanded again, and I noticed his hand clench tighter on the hilt of his sword ever so slightly at the man's words. "And you will not like the consequences if you don't obey."

"I'm not going anywhere with you two!" He spat on the floor at Gil's feet. Gil did what he had to do next and immediately grabbed him by the back of his shirt and hauled him to his feet. The man stumbled and pushed back, knocking over his drink on the table with his hand in the process. I saw a knife flash into the mans hand and he slashed at Gil, causing a long and widening line of red to appear on his side. It must have been pretty deep, because Gil's grip on the man faltered and he grasped his side with one hand, blood staining it, a grimace on his face. 

My heart in my throat, I peeled myself away from Gil's side and leapt into action as the man tried to bolt, staying close on his heels. He turned and took a couple slashes at me, but I managed to jump back and dodge each one. I had pulled out my sword as I was chasing him and I swung it now, hearing it as it tore through his clothes and flesh and organs. I watched as he grasped at his chest, the entire front of his shirt soaked, blood pouring onto the wooden floor of the tavern, painting it red. Heard the shrieks of the women and the laughter and cheers of the men as he collapsed, writhing in pain for a few seconds in an ocean of red he created. That I had created. 

Even after he was still, I couldn't peel my eyes away from him. Gil's hand was on my shoulder then, and I could finally look away from it all and at Gil, and that's all I let my mind see. Gil. Nobody else could see it, but I saw that he was sad, but relieved even more that I wasn't harmed. I was equally happy that he looked as if he were going to be okay. I would be totally lost without him. I wasn't sure I'd be able to keep fighting. 

I made myself believe killing this man was only self defense, to protect myself and Gil. But it almost always ended in bloodshed and death. Gil and I were doing this job for the money that kept our mom, who was weak, alive, safe, and supported. That surely wasn't a reason that made us monsters, but we were feeding into the tragedy. There was no line between right and wrong now. 

And there was no one to hear, pity, or answer our cries.