Samreen was standing by the cooker preparing breakfast, he approached her vigilantly. The guilt was gnawing him. He had been desperate last night and he wanted relief. But his conscious had reminded him of the sin he had committed. His hands settled on her hips, startling her as she flipped the eggs on the frying pan. She glanced over her shoulder and frowned. Since last night, she hadn't spoken a word. He never liked when she was quiet. He would rather listen to her yelling than be the brunt of her silent treatment.

She had been so occupied in cooking that she never noticed when he was standing behind her. When he touched her, she had a suspicion why he was trying to gain her attention away from cooking. He wanted to apologize for yesterday. But she was too upset. He never understood her or wasn't there when she needed him the most. These children were not only hers but his as well. She needed his support the most, especially for him to step up and take the responsibility.

"Let's forget everything and go out today? What do you say?" Faraz breathed in her ear.

She lightly nudged her shoulder against his chest so he would move back, "I have a lot to do," she muttered. She was in no mood to push the twin / double buggy or run after Liyaanah when they were in a shopping centre.

He was quiet for a few minutes and then attempted again, "Why don't I take the children out for ice skating and you and Salim can rest."

To this, she couldn't refuse. How much she was craving some alone time. Just so she can catch up on her sleep or watch television. An afternoon off with no children screaming sounded very appealing indeed.

She curtly nodded, "Okay."

He lightly kissed her cheek, "Great."

She gazed at her husband's retreating back and her heart sank. Again another issue had gone unresolved. How many issues will they keep burying or pretend to ignore? In the end, she was the one always making sure they live a harmonious life. She had always adapted to his ways just so she could please him.

****

Months had passed and he still dined with them daily. He would be anxious throughout the day and when she would smile at him all worries would fade away. Her eyes sparkled and her smile grew wider whenever he would praise her for the food she prepared them. Warmer months had arrived bringing in more opportunity for indulging in outdoor activities.

It was a warm sunny day in the midst of May, when Faraz stepped in Nouman's flat. He was greeted with a new sight. The food was packed in a picnic basket and Samreen was bending down wearing runners. He tried to avert his gaze from him perfect derriere but it was difficult. He definitely didn't want Nouman to catch him ogling his sister. He hastily cleared his throat to alert her of presence.

Samreen was mortified as she straightened and rushed inside her room to hide her flaming face. Nouman emerged from the kitchen with a glass of water, "We are going out to Phoenix Park. Samreen wanted to take the food and have it as a picnic there. Wanna join us?"

Faraz stuffed his hands in his jeans pockets and nodded, "Ok if it's not a bother."

At the park prior to the meal, they were strolling amongst the over grown grass fields that were surrounded by tall trees. The blue cloudless sky and the bright sun had attracted many people to the park. Young people were jogging along the walking track while older people sat on the benches admiring the nature. A group of wild deer was seen at a distance. Their gleaming eyes sparkled in the sunlight as they stood gloriously with their majestic horns and soft light brown fur.

Samreen was in her own thoughts, strolling a few steps behind the men, when Nouman's phone buzzed. He strode away to talk in privacy, leaving them behind. Samreen felt awkward standing in close proximity alone with Faraz. Since that winter night, when a man had been chasing her, she had never been alone with him.

Faraz wasn't able to take his eyes off her and he thought out loud, "You look beautiful today."

Startled, she raised her eyes at him.

He flustered, did he really say it out loud? He then tried to amend his statement, "I meant the brown hijab suits you. It looks beautiful."

Biting her lower lip, her eyelids dipped, her cheeks pinked, "Thank you."

He wanted to say much more. He took a step towards her but Nouman was walking back. He changed his mind and turned away. He absently gazed at the serene view in front of him, how he wished he could talk to her more.

But he didn't know how to go about it.

****

Resting against the pillows, Samreen was engrossed in a thick romance novel. It had been months since she last read. The difficulties in pregnancy and then the endless chores never gave her the opportunity to enjoy reading. As she read the romance scenes between the male and female protagonists, she thought how long it had been that Faraz gestures were romantic. She didn't remember the last time he gave her a gift. Let alone a gift, she couldn't recall he ever presented her a single rose.

She sighed as she turned the page of the book. If only life was as wonderful as the romance novels. If only her husband was as romantic as the male character in the book. How could a man sweep a woman off her feet with just a kiss? Was that even possible? She laughed out loud at the absurdity of it all.

No life was never this simple. There were definitely no husbands swooning over their wives. Instead, it seemed there were endless problems and issues that the couples had to face on a daily basis. Perhaps, this is why she needed to read so she can escape from all the problems around her. She desired some level of sanity otherwise she will surely go crazy.

But there were days when he had been loving and romantic...

In the beautiful valley of Interlaken in Switzerland, they were surrounded by snowy capped Swiss Alps, pastured fields and breath-taking lakes. Hand in hand they had walked in the small town, taking countless pictures and just laughing at silly jokes. The first day of their honeymoon. It was very memorable.

At the traditional Swiss restaurant he had fed her diced bread pieces dipped in cheese fondue, (a hot melted Swiss cheese mixture).

Taking the bite of the bread piece himself, he brought the bread piece on a stick towards her lips. She giggled and took the bite of the small remaining bread piece. The next bread piece he teased her and kept moving it away from her. When she had given up he promised he will not mess around with her. She had agreed. But this time when she opened her mouth, there was very cheesy kiss instead of the bread piece.

She was engrossed in the kiss that she kissed him back without any reservations. But when she did come back to her senses, she blushed hard, "Faraz we are in a public place."

"It is dark and we are in the corner. No one was watching us." he winked.

She had shaken her head at his affectionate nature. But deep down, she felt cherished as she was blessed with a loving husband.

But all honeymoons come to an end and the couple stepped into real life...

****

Faraz had decided to take the children out for ice skating. Nawal and Arbaaz had joined them as well. It was a wonderful time spent with children and his siblings but his mind was at his mother's words.

That evening when Faraz had gone to his parents' home, Ghazala asked, "How is Samreen?"

Faraz exhaled, "She is fine, Mom but it's just that sometimes..."

"Sometimes?" Ghazala urged.

"I feel maybe she is going in depression or becoming moody. She ends up getting angry easily or other times she is just too upset. That's why I decided to bring Liyaanah and Daniyal to the ice skating so she can get some rest with the baby."

"Support her Faraz. It's not easy for her managing three children and they are all so young. She is still healing from birth."

Faraz looked away and didn't reply.

"Have patience with her, my son. Be her support and you will see, she will come out of all this when she sees how much you care for her." Ghazala advised.

"I am trying Mom, I am. But she is never pleased with whatever I do for her." Faraz said quietly.

"It's not her fault beta. She is just expressing her frustration. Give her some time and she will come round."

Faraz nodded although he doubted his mother's words. And that doubt still lingered.

They were seated in a café after the ice skating session as they savored a cup of coffee while the children devoured the chocolate chip cookies.

"Why so down Bhai jaan?" Nawal asked her eldest brother.

"Nothing," he muttered taking a big gulp of his Cappuccino.

Arbaaz was busy on his phone while Nawal fed Daniyal the cookie.

"Just remember Nawal when you become a wife, be a grateful wife. Otherwise, all wife do is nag." Faraz shared his experience.

Nawal frowned, "Bhai are you referring to Bhabi? But she never nags. She is always by your side."

"Ya well.." he wasn't able to finish as Liyaanah bumped into him and the coffee spilled all over the table.

Wiping his jacket sleeve, he admitted it wasn't easy taking care of children. There was not even a single moment of peace.

****

When the children were back from the ice skating, they were given a bath and immediately put to bed. Within few minutes, the children were asleep. All this time, Faraz had been working on his laptop and also was keeping an eye on Salim as the baby was attempting to smile. Babies were far easy to keep an eye on as they didn't scurry away, contemplated Faraz.

While, reading the romance novel an idea had conjured in Samreen's mind and she was determined to enact it. She heated the Nutella in the microwave oven for few seconds and then grabbed a handful of strawberries. Dripping the hot Nutella on the bowl of strawberries, she sauntered to her bedroom. Faraz was engrossed in his project to discern what Samreen had up her sleeve. Samreen got out her lilac silk nightie and night robe. Before going to the bathroom to change, she lifted the sleeping baby Salim from the bed and gently placed him in the Moses basket.

Within few minutes, she was out of the bathroom dressed in her nightie and robe. She was shuffling at the dresser as she sprayed Faraz's favourite perfume. This distracted him from his work and he glanced at his wife. His eyes widened. When was the last time she had dressed in a silk nightie? The laptop was forgotten in front of him as he gazed at his voluptuous wife.

Ambling towards him, she unfastened the sash of the night robe and slowly shrugged off the robe. It fell on the ground in a silk pool. The short lilac nightie had spaghetti straps attached to the translucent lace bodice that left nothing to imagination. It emphasized her ample cleavage. Breastfeeding sure had some advantages. Below the lace was the flowy silk night dress that reached to mid-thigh. Grasping the bowl of chocolate coated strawberries, she walked seductively towards him.

He was mesmerized. He didn't even blink. His heartbeat was pounding against his ribs and blood was rushing through his veins. Placing the bowl on the night stand she lithe gracefully on hands and knees on the bed, taking the laptop away from him and putting it away. Her smile grew, she still had strong effect on him.

Sliding gracefully next to him, her legs stretched alongside his. She held the strawberry bowl and she said in a hushed tone, "I thought we will share dessert what do you say?"

He nodded warily.

"But" her index finger traced the outline of his lips, "I want to just talk. Have our own special time. What do you say?"

Talk? Now? Had she gone mad?

He couldn't think straight when she was dressed like that and she was interested in talk.

"You talk. I am listening."

Taking one strawberry in her hands she bit into it and brought it to his lips. The juice oozed from the strawberry trickling on her lips. Without thinking, he opened his mouth chewed rest of the strawberry as his gaze was captive on her lips.

"I miss just us Faraz. You and me. How we used to spend time together?"

"Uh-Huh"

"When I was alone today I realized how important that is." She again fed him half eaten strawberry.

"Hmmm..."

"Maybe we should try to spend more time together what do you say?"

"Anything you say, baby." Faraz muttered as his eyes continued to linger on her lips. A droplet of the strawberry juice was slowly gliding down her lower lip.

"You know how I like eating strawberries?"

She raised her eyebrows inquisitively.

"I rather taste them on you." With that his lips crushed on hers tasting the remnants of the strawberry and chocolate. She kissed him back ardently.

His hands slithered over the silk nightie feeling her curvaceous hips, the indent of her waist and up to her breasts. His lips skimmed down her neck as he lowered the spaghetti strap down her arm baring her breast. His kisses got passionate on her collarbone and the tops of her breasts. Her hands were running over his hair and bunching up his shirt over his shoulders.

There was a loud bang on the bedroom closed door. "Mama mama," Daniyal cried.

The couple froze in their passionate ministrations. He buried his face between her breasts, "Not now please." His voice muffled.

Daniyal cries grew louder, "Mama mama"

"I better go," she said as she pushed him off her and fixed her nightie straps and bodice. She hurriedly wore the long night robe covering her semi-nude body and rushed to her crying son.

Faraz rolled over to his back and his head fell on the pillow. He was aroused and he couldn't wait any longer. Daniyaal always took long to go back to sleep. He wouldn't be able to wait this long. He rationalized Samreen wouldn't be in a mood anyway. But he couldn't endure being in this state. Grabbing his phone, he clicked on the website he had seen last night. He scrolled down and clicked on a hard core porn video. His hands going down to the waist of his pajamas. It didn't take long at all. Within minutes he found the relief he was seeking for.

Meanwhile, Samreen sat beside a sleeping Daniyaal as she stroked his hair lightly until he went back to deep sleep. It took him some time, before he was slumbering peacefully. Quietly and carefully she stood up from his bed and made her back to her bedroom. She wanted to continue to where they had left off. But her forehead creased as she saw her husband was snoring lightly.

Sliding under the duvet beside him, she curled her arm around his waist, pressed herself against his back and whispered in his ear, "I am back."

There was no reaction.

She shook him slightly until he woke up, "What" he mumbled.

"I am back." she repeated herself, "Now where were we?"

He shrugged off her hands from his arms, "Not now Sammy I am tired."

"Tired? You were fine few minutes ago." She clutched his arm so that he would turn around to face her.

"No I am sleepy now." he mumbled.

She let go in bewilderment. In the past, he always waited for her when the children interrupted them.

Why was he suddenly tired when he was so enthusiastic?

The first seed of doubt is in Samreen's mind.

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