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Nathan's P.O.V

It was back to work in the studio, after 3 weeks of clearing things up with all the fans from all around the world. We have a plan coming up to make up for the concert that we were supposed to have in Indonesia. Which then reminded me of the times I had with Bella. I've tried, and I've tried it hard enough to forget her and everything about her. But I just couldn't.

"We've got some fan mails to read today, lads," Max informed.

The boys have been such a great helped for me. They didn't treat me differently like I was sick or odd because I had absent myself for months. With them around me at all times, I didn't got the chance to always be thinking about Bella even though I still found myself missing her.

"Woah Nath, you've got a big fan mail," Siva told me and at the same time, distracted me out of my thoughts. He passed me a medium sized box which had my name written on it. I wondered for a moment because usually fans would send a letter which meant for ALL of us, and they are usually small in an envelope, not in a box.

"Opened it up, because I'm feeling jealous that I didn't get a big one like that," Tom joked and I just chuckled as I peeled off the tapes off the box.

I opened the box and stunned in my seat, with the box on my lap. Those things in that box was really familiar and recognizable. I took out the Teddy Bear that I had gotten for Bella on our dinner day. Also in the same box was my black leather jacket. I took them both in my hand and looked at it plainly. I couldn't explain my emotion.

"Who is it from?" Siva asked.

"Bella," I answered quietly.

"Who's Bella?" Tom asked, immediately.

"Shut up, Tom," Jay told him.

"I'm just asking," Tom said and pouted.

Jay ignored him and told me, "There's a letter in there, mate."

I looked into the box and found a letter being folded nicely in it. I took it out and started reading it while still holding on to the 'I Love You' teddy bear.

Hey Nathan,

I don't know whether writing this letter to you would be a right thing or not but I feel the need to clear things up with you. I know, you would probably be hating me for all the things that I have done, but let me just explain everything.

Before I Found You, I was just planning to have some time with me, myself and I, alone. But I found you, just the next day I arrived to my late grandparent's cabin. I didn't recognized it was you at first, until I recalled that I have seen your face quite a few times somewhere.

I was a fan. Yes, I was a fan of The Wanted. And it didn't took me long to realized that you're Nathan Sykes. I was really bewildered to how you could be in woods, but while I was out to the city to buy some essentials foods, I saw the news about the crash.

Immediately, I came out with a plan. Because I was a fan, and I really do fangirl a lot of you and your friends, I decided I should bring you back to your band with hope that we all ended up be friends with each other. But you woke up, having no memory of who you are and I thought if I were to explain that you're Nathan Sykes from The Wanted, it would be very confusing for you. So, I lied.

I know it wasn't the right thing to do, but I was stupid that I didn't know what I was supposed to do. I wasn't in love with you, either, but telling you that you're my boyfriend was just an easy way to not let you think too much.

I actually ran away from home because my parents had arrange a marriage that I never agree to. I wanted to be alone but I found you and you have been such a great accompany. Not until I realized that I was actually in love with you.

I think we did great for a while, until you realized everything was a lie and I had to admit it that it was indeed a lie. I just want you to know that I am really sorry for everything that I have done. I know sorry wouldn't make it up to everything but that was all I could give to you. I returned your jacket which you wore on the very first time I found you and the teddy bear that you got me. I know that it's not worth your money to get me anything but I'm keeping the dress because it gives me the last of the best memories I had with you.

I also want you to know that you've taught me a lot of things for that short time that we were together. You taughtt how to love and you made me feel how to be loved. You made me realized that not everything can fall on me because the time when I felt that life means nothing and my parents don't care, you came and showed that you do.

I remembered you telling me that I need to stop being selfish. That made me realized that the world don't just revolve around me. Which also made up my mind, to accept the marriage that my parents had arranged for me. In the inner pocket of your leather jacket, I had spared the invitation card to my wedding. I'm not expecting you to be there of course, but I can't help myself to think that maybe you would.

Yes, sorry can't make up for everything. But I'm sorry that I lied about you being my boyfriend. I lied about running away from our family because our relationship weren't blessed. I'm just so sorry for lying about everything but one thing I want you to know, I didn't lie when I said I love you.

Isabella

I finished up the letter, not realizing that I was actually tearing a little. Bella actually sacrificed for me and I blamed her. I left her, alone in the cabin in the middle of the night. Why do I have to assumed things? Why couldn't Bella just tell me the whole thing, the minute before I left the cabin? Right! Because I was too angry that I just stomped out before letting her explain fully. I was angry, at most of all, myself because I realized that despite of all the lies, I was actually really in love with her.

"Mate, you okay?" a voice interrupted and I looked up to see all boys staring at me. Tom was holding on to a pink folded card and I snatched it away from him.

'You're invited to Adam Jackson and Isabella Harris wedding on 18th October.'

***

"You sure you don't want to go after her, mate?" Tom asked, "You can not to attend the radio interview."

"She needs to be happy. I've hurt her," I told him sadly, almost emotionless. I had told the boys the whole true story. About Bella, about the lies, about the letter and most of all, about the love I had for her.

"Not going after her would only meant hurting her more, Nath," Jay said, "She's in love with you but had to agree with the arranged marriage as she wants to stop being selfish because you told her that and now, you're here, sitting like a stupid boy, being selfish for yourself."

"Jay, just let him decide about it okay," Max told him and I saw Jay stomped out of the waiting room of the radio building.

Was Jay right? I don't wanna show up in her wedding because I don't want to be selfish for appearing in her life again. But was I really being selfish for sitting down here and let her be married to someone whom she wasn't in love with? Was I willing to let her be with someone whom she doesn't love and let myself lost someone that I loved?

No! Which was why I walked out of the waiting room. I hailed a taxi and immediately told him to get me to the airport. It was a good thing that I brought my passport to everywhere that I go, just for any emergency cases especially like this one.

I reached the airport after what seemed like hours because I was rushing and to be announced with the news that the last flight to LA for the day, had just gone a few minutes ago. I was late. I should have listened to Jay and not rot in the seat and think about it.

So, that's it. I've lost her. I lost Isabella. The Bella whom had sacrificed her time for me. The one who had loved me. And the one that I loved.