S3

- Chapter 29 -
Take Me As I Am

I stand in an ABC studio that's in a Manhattan skyscraper as one of the employees for the channel mics me up. I hold my shirt up as the man is behind me getting it situated. My heart was beating fast as my thoughts became jumbled. It's been a week since Jacobi outed my status. I kept quiet the entire week while finishing up my vacation with Draco in London. I stayed off of social media trying to figure out what to do despite Jacobi running his mouth to TMZ. Now I find myself about to do an interview for ABC News with Robin Roberts at the advisement of my publicist.

"You couldn't have gotten anybody else to do the interview besides Robin?" I ask my publicist as she stands close by with my assistant. Don't get me wrong, she's cool, but she can be pushy. She's doing her job, but sometimes she seems like a robot letting the station control her even at the cost of other Black people.

When I was working with Chris Brown after the incident with Rihanna, I just remember the interview she did with him. She kept asking about Rihanna instead of his music. Then the Nate Parker interview where she brought up his rape and asked if he wanted to apologize when he was acquitted. I just hope I don't regret doing this interview.

"If she tries me, I might cuss her out. I don't play that shit when it comes to my life, especially my status," I say honestly as my hairstylist brushes through my hair.

"Jesus," Tabitha starts. "I don't remember you being like this." I think I've been spending too much time with Draco, to be honest. "No cursing anybody out. If she asks something you don't want to answer maneuver your way out of it. You know how. You've had media training. If it gets too much we'll end the interview early."

After the man has me mic'd up Paloma comes over to me brushing a makeup brush around my face adding more powder. "Don't worry. You got this. You'll handle this with grace and class like you do everything else. You're a bad bitch and that's what bad bitches do. Smile for the camera and sit pretty," she says stepping back from me smiling.

I chuckle because she was so serious with not a trace of joke in her tone. "Makeup on point?" I ask turning my head so she can check.

"Girl, I always serve you a beat face, honey! When have I ever had you out here looking crazy? Never!" She says rolling her neck as we both laugh. One thing I can say is Paloma has been here for me through it all. Since the beginning. She was one of the first and only people I told about my status. Not once did she ever tell anyone. She's the most loyal and trustworthy person I have in my circle.

"Can we have everyone clear the stage. We'll be starting in a few minutes," a man says loudly. Everyone leaves the stage and I sit down in the armchair waiting for this to start.

Robin Roberts comes out to the stage and extends her hand to me. "Robin Roberts. I'm glad you decided to do this interview with me." We release hands then she sits across from me. "You approved all of the questions, so we're good to go?" She asks holding her thumb up. I nod my head. I was hoping she didn't pull any fast shit with her questions. "Good, don't be nervous." I'm guessing it was written across my face. I cross my legs putting my hands over my lap as a man gives the signal that we're about to start.

I've done plenty of interviews and tv appearances, but nothing like this. I was about to talk about my status where millions of people can see it and basically judge me. I zone back in looking at Robin who's opening the show and introducing me.

"Tonight we have Desdemona Garnet who has been making headlines after her boyfriend, Jacobi Henderson, exposed her for having HIV / AIDS. The daughter of Desmond Garnet, a billionaire and the first Black man to own a privately held financial software, data, & media company she was meant to be in the spotlight. Her family is no stranger to controversy with her father being in the tabloids only two months ago for having a son outside of his marriage. Desdemona is a model, clothing line designer, philanthropist, social media strategist, and an AIDS survivor. Tonight she will tell her side of the story."

I just sit there smiling the entire time even though I feel like I'm dying inside. She continues talking as I blink slowly gathering all of my thoughts. "Thank you for giving us this exclusive interview. You've been silent this past week after the scandal nearly broke the internet. Everyone was talking about it after Jacobi Henderson posted the damning pictures making heavy claims. Claims you haven't denied. This all started from a picture of you allegedly kissing another man. This might be an obvious question, but are you and Jacobi still together?"

I shake my head immediately. "No, absolutely not. I made a mistake and I apologized to him for that. Two wrongs don't make a right and he had no reason to out my status the way he did. I trusted him with that information and he exposed it to the world when it's illegal."

"Will you be filing a lawsuit against him?"

"Yes," I say firmly. "What he did was dangerous on my behalf. It can potentially ruin my career costing me millions of dollars and even could effect my safety. I thought about not filing a lawsuit because we're essentially even, but then I realized he's been using me the entire relationship. He was only in it for the benefits of being with a rich and famous woman. That was evident by the fact he invaded my privacy by taking pictures of my belongings in my home. If I didn't have HIV, he would've found another way. He has gained attention and 500,000 followers from this."

"Why did you keep your status a secret? Why not be an advocate for it to spread awareness to your millions of followers and supporters?"

"That's something I struggled with. I, myself had to come to terms with my status. I was in denial for a long time. I just felt it would hurt my career more than help. As a successful, woman of color I knew it wouldn't be easy. People would judge and make assumptions, which they are. I didn't want people to look at me differently. People will no longer see me as the entrepreneur, Desdemona Garnet, but my disease."

"I've been reading what people were saying about this situation and you. Some people say that you probably contracted it from being promiscuous. When you first came to the limelight you were known as a video vixen and an urban model. Seen all over magazines and hip hop videos half naked showing your body." I furrow my eyebrows because that wasn't mentioned in the rundown of questions. "How did you contract the disease? Was it sex, drugs, somehow being exposed to someone's blood who has HIV?"

"Sexual intercourse with someone I was in a relationship with. Someone I was with for years who I was in love with and trusted. People are assuming it's because I was promiscuous and that's not the case. People don't realize is all it takes is having unprotected sex once and you can contract it."

"Can you say who you contracted it from?"

"No, I have a legal binding contract that makes me unable to publicly disclose who I got it from. I wouldn't do that anyway. For a long time I was angry at him, but I forgave. Forgiving him was the first step in accepting this is my life, but I'll make it through."

"One thing people have been confused about is whether you have HIV or AIDS?"

"That's because people don't even know the difference. AIDS is caused by HIV. A person can't get AIDS if they haven't contracted HIV. It usually takes someone five to ten years for them to go to AIDS. My doctor said it was rare for me to go to AIDS that quickly, but I did. My viral load is undetectable for HIV, but I still have AIDS meaning my CD4 count is still below 200. Until it's above 200 I will be classified to have AIDS, which I'm really close to being over. Last time I was at the doctors I was in the high 100's. My health isn't effected at all right now."

"Can you explain a little more for the people who are uneducated about both diseases?"

"Yes. The first thing people don't realize is you can't give AIDS to other people, only HIV. Also, if someone with HIV develops an opportunistic infection associated with HIV, they can still be diagnosed with AIDS, even if their CD4 count is above 200. That's called an AIDS defining illness. AIDS is a disease that can develop in people with HIV. It's the most advanced stage of HIV, but just because a person has HIV doesn't mean they'll develop AIDS. If they don't get treated or take their medication it will eventually become AIDS within a decade."

"Are you surprised by the backlash you've been receiving when it's something you had no control over?"

"Slightly, but no. It came from a messy situation. People found after a cheating scandal instead of from my own mouth. You would think I didn't tell my ex-boyfriend, but still slept with him. I was 100% honest with Jacobi about my status from the very beginning and we never even slept together. People just have preconceived notions about these diseases because they're associated with drugs, sex, and homosexuality. Ignorance is the real disease, not HIV or AIDS. Some people will never understand how stigma feels."

"Now that your status is out in the open, what now?"

"Continue building my brand, running my companies, and living my life. I was already giving money to HIV / AIDS charities and foundations, which I will continue. I also want to do something through my own charity, Giving Garnet."

"Alright, best of luck to you." I smile as she ends the interview. Once it's a wrap I stand up going over to my team.

I high five my publicist whose hand is raised. "See? You didn't have to curse anyone out. You did great."

"You handled that like a boss," Paloma says touching my shoulder making me smile. I thank the both of them then look to my assistant who is standing behind them.

"Did you ever find my iPhone?" I ask my assistant as she hands me my gold blackberry.

"No ma'am. Someone must have stolen your phone. Whoever has it, turned the sharing location off."

I blow air out of my nose. When I woke up this morning I couldn't find my phone. At first I thought maybe I lost it. Now I'm realizing Draco must've taken it when he left my place early this morning. My question is why would he take my phone? "I need you to go to T-Mobile and get me an IPhone 8 Plus. Not the X. I don't like those. I need a new phone anyway. I'm supposed to be meeting friends to go shopping, so drop it off at my penthouse."

She nods her head walking off to leave. After getting the mic taken off I leave the ABC studio in the Suburban driving me around for the day.

➖

The car drops me off at the Barney's on Madison Avenue in Manhattan where I'm supposed to be meeting up with Rhea. I walk into the store out of the cold air looking around. It's a weekday and not even afternoon, so the store is pretty empty. A man who works here comes up to me greeting me. "Welcome to Barney's. Is there anything I can help you with? Looking for anything specific?" He asks.

"I'm meeting a friend here. She's about 5'5", pale complexion, dark hair, fat ass," I say describing Rhea.

He chuckles then points asking, "Her? Rhea?" I nod my head. "She's our best and most loyal customer."

"I bet she is." Rhea could shop her ass off even if she wasn't a stylist. There seemed to be no limit on the money she could spend. I know she makes decent money being a stylist for celebrities, but it's obvious she spends her husband's money as well. I thank the employee then walk over to Rhea who's talking to another woman.

"Rhea," I say to get her attention. She turns around smiling saying, "Hey, Desdemona." We hug then the other woman who she was talking to turns around making me realize it's Athena...

"How does this look?" Athena asks posing in the coat.

"Athena? I didn't know you were coming and it looks good on you," I say as we hug.

"I decided to invite her. She can be even more important to the conversation we're having seeing as she's been in this life her entire life. We have the entire store to ourself." Rhea says as I look around realizing there really is no one in the store except employees.

"Wait, entire life?" I ask looking at Athena.

She nods her head. "My father. He's retired in Florida now being a sweet, old grandpa. Don't let it fool you though. He's a G," she replies as they go back to looking through the store racks. I sit my Givenchy purse on a chair then take off my pea coat draping it across the back of the chair. "Titan was the baddest mutha fucka to come out of New Orleans. You can bet dat!"

"Okay, I'm not judging... But what made you want to be with Glock if you grew up in it your whole life? I'm sure it wasn't easy and you saw stuff."

"Baby, what didn't I see?" Athena says laughing. "It was normal to me. It put food on the table and clothes on our backs. Everybody in the community loved my old man. That money sent me to LSU. I met Glock because of that life. I met Glock through my Daddy and her husband," she says pointing at Athena. "And you know that man still had the nerve to lie to my face and say he was dentist. A damn dentist!"

Both Athena and I laugh. "Apollo told me he was a mechanic and that's how he was driving so many different cars. Men will lie for no damn reason," Rhea says shaking her head. They made this all seem so normal. "Come on... What did Draco tell you he did?"

"He told me he worked for his girlfriend's father."

Rhea shrugs turning up her lips. "Eh, technically he didn't lie. Draco gets a couple of points for that. Let us just start by saying, the number one rule is LOYALTY. That's all that matters at the end of the day on your end and his. We have to have allegiance to the family, to each other. Don't fuck with the opps, period!"

"What are opps?" I ask innocently feeling a little embarrassed.

They both laugh at me. Athena speaks up to answer me. "Opposition, the enemy, the other side. Switching up is the worst thing you can do whether it's a rival or the police. All that matters is loyalty. If yo nigga is unloyal to you by fucking with a bitch you don't like – done!" She motioning her hand across her throat. "If you fuck a nigga he doesn't like in the streets or snitch – done!"

"Rule #2 for us women," Rhea starts as I look through the clothing racks. "Always and I mean ALWAYS have your own money. You don't even have to worry about that. Always have your own bread stashed somewhere and have a backup plan. This could all be gone tomorrow. That goes for any career really."

"What about safety? Draco was asking me if I have gun like a week ago?" I ask holding up a jacket on a hanger that I like.

"The thing is any real man isn't going to put you in a position where you can be hurt. And any man who goes by the code and follows the rules of the game, they won't come after a dudes lady or kids. But still, that's why no one knows I'm married to Apollo. At the same time you still have to be aware at all times. Always watch your surroundings. Head on a swivel. Honestly, Desdemona, you should've been had at least one security guard since you're a celebrity."

I sigh as Athena adds, "Draco is right though. You need some type of protection. If it's not in your possession then you do need security."

I lean against the clothing rack lowering my voice even though the workers were way across the store. "Do you guys have guns?"

Rhea chuckles. "Do I? I have 2. I also carry a blade, pepper spray, and a taser. You can never be too careful."

"This is a lot," I say taking a deep breath. "Maybe I'm not cut out for this."

"Mona, it's kind of too late," Rhea says looking at me with a frown. "Once you started working with him as a client being seen with him at events and on social media it was already too late. That was apparent when those dudes destroyed your office. Now you guys are trying to be more than just business partners. The best thing you can do is stay private. You and Draco need to just build on the low. Once he's out – we're all out – then you guys are free to be as public as you want. No more kissing at parties, nothing."

"Yeah, you're right about that," I say going back to looking through the clothes.

"Usually we wouldn't even give you this type of information because you're not even in a relationship with Draco yet, but we'll make an exception. You already know everything that's going on, so might as well. Draco said it's a good idea just in case something ever happens," Athena adds in. Her saying that made me realize they finished renovating my Love, Garnet office while I was gone. I need to go see it, so me and my employees can start working there again

"Anyway, enough about all this. I'm not trying to stress you out. Let's have a little retail therapy!" Rhea says excitedly as she holds up some clothes on hangers.

"I'm all for that. It's a new year, so that means I need new clothes. A fresh start."

"Good because I think it's time you get a makeover. I'm tired of all these uptight, business woman type clothes. It's time you switch it up. Show all this body," Rhea says waving her hand over me. "All this ass hiding in these slacks," she says making Athena laugh.

"I like my slacks," I say looking down at my black slacks then my Louboutin's.

"But for every occasion? You wear them at events too. You need some sexy dresses for events, parties, and appearances."

"I guess you're right," I agree. "There supposed to have Draco's line at this Barney's. Do they?" I ask looking around the store. I call one of the employees over and when he comes I ask, "Do you guys carry a clothing line called Lindo?"

"Oh, yes. We just got it in a couple of days ago. He's a new designer and I must say it's quality clothing," the employee motions for me to follow him.

"I know. I invested some money into the brand," I say making the man look over his shoulder at me.

"Really? Oh, wait. How did I not realize it's you. You're Desdemona Garnet!" He says turning around looking at me. "Would you like some champagne? Water?" He asks as we walk across the store.

"I'm fine," I say holding my hand up. We stop in front of a couple of racks then he motions his hands over it.

"Lindo. The designers name is Drake, I believe."

I chuckle. "Draco. You'll be knowing that name like the back of your hand very soon," I say touching his shoulder. "Thank you."

"No problem. If you need anything like something to drink or a dressing room just give me a holler. My name is Jeffery, by the way." He nods his head then walks off.

I look at the rack running my hand over the hangers. I look at one of the mannequins beside the rack of clothes that had a black dress on it. I remembered the dress from the fashion show and thinking it was a beautiful gown. "You would look so good in this. You should get it for your birthday party," Rhea says touching it then looking at me.

"Me? I'm not having a birthday this year," I inform her.

"What? You have a big birthday bash every year. It's the one time celebrities all come together and have real fun without being uptight. Why not?"

I shrug. "I didn't have time to plan one. I've been so busy and I didn't want to throw a half-ass party. You know me... I go big or go home for my events. I'm just having a birthday dinner tomorrow night. Didn't you get my text?"

"I did, but I assumed you were having a dinner for close family and friends on your actual birthday then a party this weekend. I'm upset. I look forward to your parties every year."

"Sorry, I just wasn't feeling it this year. I'm pretty sure after this past week and all the scandals no one would have come."

"I know you don't believe that. Yes, they would. People love you and fuck with you heavy. They have to after all the money you have helped people made." I shrug not wanting to talk about it anymore. I look at the dress honestly wanting to buy it, but at this moment I have no wear to wear it. I've already bought a lot of stuff in both of Draco's clothing line to show support.

"Anyway, how's planning the wedding coming?" I ask turning to Athena who's close by trying on some shoes.

"I know I said I had 6 months to plan the wedding, but not anymore. Me and Glock decided to move it up to March," Athena says with an excited smile.

"March? The hell?" Rhea starts. "I thought I would have a little more time to work off this gut so I'm bridesmaid dress ready," she says poking her stomach making me laugh.

"You look fine. You're already snatched and detached, sis!" Athena says snapping. "I just didn't see the point in waiting until the summer. I don't need all the flashy stuff and I found both the venue and dress I wanted. All I need is my family–" she says putting an arm around Rhea. "–and friends," she says putting an arm around me. "As long as Glock shows up, I'll have all I need."

"Awww!" Both Rhea and I say in unison.

Athena let's go of us then looks at me. "If you end up in a relationship with Draco you'll be family too." She smirks making me lower my head with a light laugh.

"We're taking it one day at a time. I don't want to rush anything after everything we've already been through together and even individually. I will say, I can see that happening one day."

"Okay, okay. I'll take that. One thing you should know is it may not seem like it, but Draco falls easily. He's a lover boy. He's unemotional on the outside, but on the inside it's all heart eyes and tears. That boy fall quicker than curls on a bad batch of Brazilian bundles," Athena says making me laugh.

"You ain't never lied," Rhea agrees. "I think he just looks for his mother in women he dates...the good parts of his mother. When he finds it, he clings to it and can't let go of it." Athena blows out air shaking her head as I begin to think. "Remember Valona?" Rhea asks Athena as they both laugh.

"Who's Valona?" I ask.

"A girl Draco dated. His first real relationship. Let's just say it didn't end good. Shit, all Draco's relationships end bad. Even with Saanvi being killed. For once I wanna see him happy," Rhea pauses then looks at me. "I think you do that for him." She nods her head as I fight a smile.

"She's blushing," Athena says bumping my shoulder making me chuckle.

I decide to change the subject. "So if you're getting married in March are you still having a bachelorette party?" I ask Athena. By now I had 5 items in my hand that I wanted to try on.

"Of course. I gotta cut up before I'm an official wifey. It's next month and we're going to my home, New Orleans, for Mardi Gras. I know you're not a bridesmaid, but you should come. My only bridesmaids are Rhea and my sister, so I'm inviting a couple other friends.

"Mardi Gras? That seems a little wild for me. I don't know."

"Girl, you gotta turn up and let loose. You're coming. You have a whole month to practice your twerking, so you'll be prepared. We're gonna show you how to have real fun. Okay?!" Athena says high fiving Rhea.

"Okay, I'll come," I say laughing when they both get excited doing little dances. They're so cute.

"Shit, I'm gonna be acting a plum fool," Rhea says switching her hips. "Away from my kids and husband, drinking, with my girls. I'm going to get so lit you would think I'm the one getting married. I have to makeup for not having a bachelorette party when I got married."

"What? Apollo said you couldn't have one? He seems like those mean ass men who says no because he thinks you'll have male strippers," I guess making Rhea stick her tongue out at me. Now I tease her about Apollo.

"I didn't have a bachelorette party because we didn't even have a wedding. At least you're getting a wedding. Me and Apollo got married in our living room by my cousin who's an officiator. Nobody but us, my cousin, my one year old son and his newborn baby," Rhea says laughing.

"I think I'm going to try these on," I say holding the clothes in my hand up. When I turn around looking for one of the store employees I see the man who was helping me earlier talking to an older, white woman. From her outfit I knew she worked here and she was most likely the manager. She does this weird smile then starts walking towards me making me furrow up brows.

"Hello, ladies," she says standing in front of us with her hands behind her back. We all greet her back. "I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you all to leave." We all scrunch up our face with the same expression.

"What for? Why?" Rhea speaks up first.

The woman looks towards me then says, "Can I have that?" She points at the garments I'm holding in my hand then grabs it. She holds onto them between her index finger and thumb as if she doesn't want to touch them.

I scoff not believing this. "Wow!" I mouth.

"It's nothing against you two–" she says looking at Rhea and Athena. "But we can't afford to lose inventory if she tries something on and decides not to buy it."

"What are you talking about?" Rhea asks genuinely confused then I guess it clicked. "Are you serious? You can't be this damn dumb! You don't get HIV through skin to skin contact. You ignorant bitch!" Rhea says taking a step towards her, but I grab her arm to stop her.

"Don't, Rhea."

"Please, just leave before I have to call the police. Rhea, this is nothing against you. You're still our best customer."

"I used to be because I won't be coming back here. Let's go," she says throwing the clothes she has in her hand on the floor as we walk out of the store.

...

After Rhea, Athena, and I parted ways I was on my way home. I sit in the backseat as the driver takes me home. I look out of the window trying my hardest to contain my emotions. I was holding it in well until a tear rolls out of my eye. I use my middle finger to wipe it away when my phone rings. I was hoping it was Draco because I didn't feel like talking to anyone else. Plus, I haven't talked to him all day. He hasn't even responded to my texts. Instead it was my mother. I've been avoiding her calls and texts ever since my status was outed. At this point I can't anymore.

I answer my phone putting it to my ear saying, "Hello, mother?"

"Desdemona! I've been calling you all week!"

"I was out of the country on vacation. I just got back a day ago," I say sighing.

"Well, are you okay?" There was an awkwardness in her voice and I could tell she didn't know what to say. She was making small talk to beat around the issue.

"I'm fine. I'll be fine."

"Well, what about your health? You okay? Why didn't you tell me or your dad? How long have you known?" She throws all these questions at once making it hard to answer even one.

"I'm fine, Mom," I say a little annoyed. "I didn't tell you or Dad because I didn't know how to. I've wanted to, but it's hard to when every time I see you and Dad in person there's a problem. Especially when it comes to Dad. I've known for two years."

"Two years?! And you couldn't tell us!" I roll my eyes knowing she was going to be dramatic. "Well, from who? Can you tell me that at least?"

I groan then push the button to roll up the partition. I chew my lip then say, "Mom, I don't think I can tell you that. You'll probably go gossip about it with your friends. I don't need people in your little country club circle knowing."

"I'm your mother, Desdemona." I laugh under my breath at that. Barely. It's quiet on the line then she asks, "Was it Tru?" At first I was confused because the way she worded the question. Then I realize she's asking if it was my ex, Tru, who gave it to me.

I close my eyes debating if I should answer seeing as she was friends with his mother before we even dated. His mother still lives in my parent's community. She could tell one of her friends then it get back to his mother then to him. "Yes," I finally say. It felt like a sense of relief.

"Oh my God!" She exclaims. I could see her hand over her wide open mouth in shock right now. "I'm so sorry. I can't believe I set you up with him. I'm the one who introduced you to him. And when he cheated on you the first time I told you to take him back. That all men cheat. I'm such a horrible example for you and your sisters." I can hear the tears in her voice as I just listen with my eyes closed.  Tears were welling up in my eyes, but I didn't want to open them for them to fall.

"It's not your fault. I was grown and could make my own decisions. I chose to take him back. The only persons to blame is Tru." We go on to talk for another 30 minutes until I get dropped off at home. It was honestly the most candid conversation I've had with my mom in my entire life. For once she felt like my mother.

It was comforting to know that she was actually there for me instead of judging me. All I wanted is for people to take me as I am...

I walk along the East River Greenway in Manhattan alongside Glock. I look down at Desdemona's phone staring at the location sharing map for Jacobi as we got closer and closer to his dot. Even though Desdemona told me she's going forward with suing this nigga, I wasn't satisfied with that. If I didn't at least press his bitch ass about this, my spirit wouldn't be cool.

"Where this nigga at? My feet hurt. I'ma beat his ass just because I had to walk this far," Glock says making me laugh.

"We almost to him," I say locking Desdemona's phone sliding it into my pocket. As we walk I see a man sitting on a bench and I know it's him. I can tell by that wack ass suit. "There he go," I say pointing. We walk up from behind him and I say, "Wassup, bitch," to make my presence known. He looks over his shoulder looking at me...

He says nothing turning back around blowing out air. "How ya doin'? Wassup, homie?" I say walking around the bench. I extend my hand for a handshake, but he leaves me hanging. "That's cool. I would be mad too if a nigga younger than me with more money took my girl." I sit on the end of the bench look at him as he says nothing. Glock stood by only coming for backup if I need it. We don't jump niggas, period.

I spread my arms across the back of the bench getting comfortable as I look out at the river. I laugh to myself because he's just a sad, little man. If a dude did everything I did I would've been trying to fight off rip. I felt the same about him, but I decided I'm not going to just whoop his ass. I have too much to lose. Desdemona is right about that. He clearly runs his mouth and will go to the police if I put hands and feet on him.

I shake my head then say, "All you had to do was follow the instructions in the text. I think it was a good deal. Keep the photo studio and the equipment with $5,000 to keep your mouth shut. Niggas just don't keep their mouth shut,"

"I knew you wrote that text. I think $5,000 was a little cheap. You couldn't offer a little more Mr. Big Fashion Designer."

"5 racks is nothing to me. That's my rent. You on the other hand, that's a lot with yo broke ass. You should've took it and moved on. Naw, you started running your mouth like a bitch letting ya pussy show."

"You're so cocky. For what? You think I don't see through you. This street, hood nigga facade you put up while at the same time thinking you're better than other people. I know what you do and who you are...both of you," he says looking back at my brother who's just standing there on go. "I bet the name Chaos rings a bell."

I look at him squinting my eyes. "You work for him?" I ask knowing he's not going to admit that, but I do anyway.

He shrugs. "I do know that your grandmother's name is Cedella Lindo and she lives in the William Reid housing authority apartments. You got soo much money, but you got ya granny living like that? You're just asking for her to get robbed...or killed." Before I could even process it myself I was backhanding him and wrapping my hand around his throat.

I push his face down into the bench seat squeezing harder as his arms flailed. "If you're threatening my fucking grandmother I will kill you right here? Think I won't!" I say through gritted teeth.

"Don't stare. Keep it moving," I hear Glock say to a couple that walks by. "Nothing to see here."

I lean in closer to him, so nobody passing can hear me. "You talkin' all this shit to me like you won't get touched. If you know who I am you should know I will kill your Instagram model ass. I will chop you into little pieces and throw you into this river with no hesitation if you EVER threaten my fucking family again!" I say looking into his eyes as they turn red while he struggles to breathe. "I'm going to let go because I'm trying to change."

I let go of his throat backing away from him. I smooth my hands over my sweatpants as he still lays on the bench trying to catch his breath. Someone walks by looking at me sideways and I just throw my hand up to wave and smile. "How are you?" She ignores me and keeps walking.

"You're stupid if you think I'm not going to press charges. You'll be in jail by tonight, but I'm sure that's nothing new for you," he says coughing.

"Nigga!" Glock says throwing his hand up. "This man just choked you and you're still talking shit. Do I need to pistol whip you?" Glock asks as if someone would say yes to that question.

I hold my hand up to Glock saying no. "Let him talk his shit." I laugh at Jacobi's dumb ass. "You realize you're the one who's going to end up in jail or with a lawsuit? You told Desdemona's HIV status without her consent to millions of people on social media after she confided in you. She trusted you. You know what that is? It's a 'breach of confidence'." I lean down looking at him, "You may think I'm below you cuz I'm from the hood, but I ain't stupid. I know the law. Something you don't. Maybe we'll see each other in county."

I laugh then walk away then motion for Glock to come on, so we can leave. As we walk I saying, "We're going to get Granny now. She can't stay at her apartment if people know where she lives and by people I mean C.A.S."

"And take her where?"

"I used the money I got from selling my house in Atlanta to buy back our old house in Ditmas Park for her. I was gonna surprise her with it this weekend since that's when Ares is moving out. I guess that plan is done and I'll take her there today," I say wiping my hand down my face. I look at my hand seeing all the veins prominent and visible. I hated when I let my anger get the best of me.

"You think he really works for C.A.S.?"

"Works for? Naw, he's too much of a lame. They probably just used him to get close to Desdemona. Now that I think about it he was at this event Desdemona threw where I was the guest of honor. That's when she announced me starting a record label and a clothing line. I bet that's how Chaos knew I was getting out of the game."

"I think we need to go ahead and follow Ms. Ambani's advice and off them regardless. Everyone on that hit list including Chaos and Casanova. Rhea says Casanova is definitely out of jail. We just gotta find him."

"I fasho know that. This peaceful shit is ova with. The truce is a wrap," I say as Glock and I dap before getting in his Land Rover.

...

We drive to Brooklyn to my grandmother's place. Of course she wasn't expecting us and when we said we wanted to take her somewhere she was arguing that she didn't want to go anywhere. We literally had to coerce her out of her apartment and now we're driving towards Ditmas Park with her in the backseat. "Weh yuh ah taking mi?" My granny asks from the backseat.

"Just sit back and ride, Granny," I say as we pull into the neighborhood. Once Glock gets to the house on the end of the street he pulls over.

"This the house your mother lost?" My grandmother says as I take my seatbelt off. It might be rude, but I don't respond. I just get of the car looking at the house...

I had so many memories here the little time we lived here. They were both good and bad. I shut the passenger door behind me then open the backseat door helping my Granny out. "Wah mek yuh bring mi here?" She asks as I close the door being her.

Glock walks around the car as I say, "I bought the house back. This is where you'll be living. I don't want you living in that apartment by yourself now that Ares is moving out on his own."

From her facial expression I could tell she wasn't happy. "Wah duh mi need a big yaad fi? Who's gonna clean all dis? Yaah guh be living here too?"

"You shouldn't be living in the projects. It's not safe. We'll hire you a maid to clean. No, I won't be living here, but I'll visit all the time. It's just a safer neighborhood."

"Mi aready tell you! Mi ave a gun. Mi a big gyal. Safe? Nuttin, nowhere safe, Draco!"

"Let's just go inside," I say grabbing her arm and guiding her towards the house.

"Tawk up di tings dem," she says looking up at me as she stood at 5'2".

"Huh?" I say playing dumb.

"Say them as they are. Don't lie. Waah a guh on? Tell mi straight," I look away from her stare knowing she can read me like a book.

"Mi nah guh lie," I say smiling making her laugh a little. "I've just been worried about your safety. You deserve a nice house," I say helping her up the stairs of the porch.

"Yuh hear dis, Glock? Yuh bredda lie straight to mi face. It breaks mi heart," she says sounding sad making me laugh because I knew it's an act. She thinks Glock will tell her instead.

"Granny, just know it will be handled. That's all you need to know," Glock assured her as I dig in my pocket looking for the key.

Once I unlocked the doors to the house I let my grandmother go in first then I walk in after with Glock following. I couldn't believe that the house my stepfather and mother lost was now mine. It was completely paid off with no mortgage at that. I just felt like it needed to be apart of my family for years to come.

This house is ten bedrooms with plenty of rooms for her grandchildren and great-grandchildren. I felt like this house would bring our family together somehow. Maybe we could start spending holidays together as a whole entire family instead of it just being me and my brothers. I wanted our cousins and their kids to come here too.

"Damn, this place is still the same," Glock says from behind me. Nothing was changed. Not the paint color on the walls or even the wooden floors. My grandmother was immediately walking around going to different rooms.

This place was heaven for us as kids. We all had our own bedrooms with large walk-in closets that we didn't have to share. We had a big front yard and a big back yard. The house has huge L-shape kitchen, multiple living rooms, and a library. Not to mention the secret rooms under the stairs and doors that led nowhere we used to play hide and seek. As a kid it didn't get better than this in my eyes. Then it was all lost..

I don't even think twice to head straight for the kitchen. I just wanted to see something. I look at the doorway seeing it still has the marks for our heights drawn on the crown molding making me chuckle. I run my hand over the blue line for Apollo who was always the tallest because he's the oldest. I rub my thumb across the green mark next for Glock and I laughed harder than I should. It was funny that at one point he was taller than me and Ares. Not anymore. I then lower my hand to the red mark for me.

Instead of my name spelled out in full it read CoCo with a star beside it. It was thr nickname my mother gave me along with Starboy. I hated it growing up because it sounded girly or like a pet name. Now I wished I could hear it one more time.

I stand in the doorway leaning against it looking around the kitchen. This was the one place that was different. It had new appliances, light fixtures, tiles, and a new sink. Even with all the new stuff I could still feel the old energy as I could picture my mother and stepfather, Ar'mon arguing in here like they always did...

"Can I have some money to go grocery shopping tomorrow?" My mother asks Ar'mon. She wipes down the counters as he sits at the dining room table eating dinner. He always got home late and ate dinner hours after us. Me and my brothers sat in the living room watching Samurai Jack at the choice of Apollo who hogged the remote.

Ar'mon drops the fork in his hand onto the plate with a cling making me look over at them. "Why you always fucking asking me for money? Every time I look up you need money for something. I just gave you money the other day. What happened to it? Huh?" He says in aggravation.

"I had to buy Apollo some new clothes and shoes. I know you see how fast that boy is growing!" She argues back.

"I don't have any money, Anya. You know that. The streets ain't the same. Not since I got out."

"You need to figure something out. We have a mortgage, bills. We need money! We have four kids to feed, Ar'mon!"

"And whose fault is that?! Didn't nobody tell you to fuck my brother and have two kids with him while I was gone! Two extra kids I gotta fucking feed like they came from my ballsack when they didn't!" He shouts as I just stare.

"Be quiet!" My mom urges looking over at us as I quickly look away as if I'm not listening and looking. "This again? You're the one who got caught! You got locked up! You left me with Apollo alone! What did you want me to do!"

"Damn sure not fuck my brother. You were so desperate for money you had to give him some pussy. You might as well sell yaself on the corner."

"Don't talk to me like that. I had to do what I had to do. Ajax was there for me. Don't act like you didn't have other bitches visiting you, writing you, calling you, putting money on your books. You fucked up and I did too. Just admit things haven't been the same since you got out. We're damn near broke! What happened to working with the Cubans?!"

"Nobody wants to work with me since I got busted the first time. All my brothers are dead or in jail serving life. It's just me out here, Anya. You could help me out a bit by getting a damn job, you know."

"A job? I have four kids and you take care of. I thought you said you wanted a housewife, cooking and cleaning for you. Now cuz you messed up you want me to get a job."

Ar'mon laughs. His laugh was always so evil to me. "Is it too much for me to ask you to work? To contribute to this household. We don't got it like we used to have it."

My mom's about to say something when there's a bang at the front door. Everybody looks towards the door. Those knocks were never good. Either the police or someone coming to tell us somebody got shot or killed. None of me and any of my brothers move. "Who is that?" My mother whispers.

"I don't know," Ar'mon says standing up from the dining room table.

The person bangs again this time yelling, "NYPD!"

"Shit!" Ar'mon curse as I look at each of my brothers. I look at Ar'mon who's pacing back and forth with his hands on his head.

"Open the door before they break it down, Ar'mon," my mom shouts. She rushes to the living room pulling us all close to her. "It's okay," she assures us.

I nearly break my neck trying to see because my Mom's in the way. I stare at Ar'mon who stands at the door holding the knob with hesitation. He finally opens the door as police officers rush in. They push Ar'mon to the floor and at that point I can't see him. I can only hear cops giving him instructions telling him he's under arrest.

"Call the lawyer," Ar'mon says to our mother once they stand him up with cuffs on his wrist. She nods her head as they take him out of the house. My mom gets up rushing towards the front door. Me and my brothers all get up from the floor and I rush to the window. I pull a blind down peeking out seeing the police car with red and blue lights flashing. They put Ar'mon in the backseat.

I can feel a presence, so I look up to see Apollo standing over me doing the same thing as me. He releases the blind looking down at me. "We'll be aiight. I got us until he gets out," Apollo says with a blank look in his eyes walking away to go right back to watching tv like what just happened was nothing. I look at my mother who's crying wishing this would stop happening.

Little did I know my wish came true. Ar'mon could no longer get arrested because he was sentenced to life and never getting out again. That was the last time I saw him outside of prison walls. From then on Apollo kept that same cold look in his eyes as he became the man of the family. I had no idea his father had been shaping him since a kid to become the next one to take over the drug business. Our childhood was sucked away forever...

➖

I had to go get my grandmother a mattress and bed frame right away just so she could stay in that house tonight. She wasn't happy, but I couldn't risk it. At this point it was time to hunker down. We had to start focusing on making our last moves to get out of the game. That means I need to suck it up and talk to Apollo, so we can start moving this weight Ms. Ambani is fronting us.

After running all my errands and doing my work for the day I headed to Desdemona's place. She's for sure been having a hard week with all the stuff in the blogs and on social media, so I was just trying to be there for her. Shit has just been crazy lately. I can't even keep up.

Once I ride the elevator up to her place I get off heading upstairs. I go to her bedroom knocking on the door then entering. "Des," I call out. It's after 7p.m. so I know she's home.

She comes out of her bathroom already wearing her pajamas putting her hand on her hip. Her face had an attitude as she said, "I've been calling you and texting you all day."

"My bad. I was busy," I say walking towards her. Before I can even get close to her she extends her hand out.

"Give me my damn phone. I know you have it!" I couldn't even lie. I should've snuck it back in her drawer while she was in the bathroom. I slide it out of my pocket sticking it in her awaiting hand. "Mhm! I knew you took it. Why?" She says unlocking it beginning to check it.

"I needed to pay someone a visit," I say honestly. "He should've taken his location off," I say nonchalantly pulling my jacket over my head to take it off.

Her head quickly shoots up as she looks at me. "You went to go fight Jacobi after I specifically said not to?! I'm already suing him. You said one or the other. Now he can counter-sue me saying I had the guy I cheated on him with beat his ass! Why would you do that? You promised!"

"I had my toes crossed." I really wasn't the type to lie. It's the the truth or nothing at all.

"Wow! I can't fucking believe you. I have enough shit going on today and you do this."

"My intentions were to just talk to him. Like always his bum ass running his mouth like he can afford some medical attention, so I gave him a reason to. I really didn't even do anything. I just choked him up a bit," I say sitting on her bed.

"Draco, really? The only person you should be choking is me," she says making me furrow my brows. I knew if I laughed it would only make her more mad. "You can't just be out here fighting and choking people. We clearly know Jacobi has no crass as it is."

"I already did it, so what's next? How was your day? Did the interview go well?" I say changing the subject.

"You're really an asshole. And it went fine. Fine as it could go. Something just happened when I was out shopping with Rhea and Athena."

"What?" I ask looking at her as she sighs and crosses her arms over her chest.

"We were shopping at Barney's. I was looking at your line then the manager of the store came up to us asking us to leave."

"Why?"

"She was saying how they didn't want to lose inventory because of me trying on clothes. Talking about my HIV like it's contagious." My face dropped as my blood started to boil. "I didn't even have it in me to argue, so we left. I was so embarrassed even though no one else was in the store. It's like I'm not even a human with fucking feelings to some people," she says with a shaky voice.

I extend my hand, so she grabs it as I pull her closer to me. I sit her on my leg saying, "You know what you should've did? You should've told her how you arranged the deal for my clothes to be her store to bring more money in to a place she works at. She's a manager of a clothing store and you own several businesses. You already win. Should've called corporate on her ass. I'm pretty sure that's illegal, so sue her ass. Everybody can get a lawsuit if they want it."

"Am I just supposed to sue everyone who has a problem with my disease? I'm tired, Draco, and this just started a week ago."

"Okay, then I'll take my clothes out of their store. We can break the contract. If that's how their employees are I don't want my clothes there."

She sighs running her hand over her hair. "You can't do that either. That was the biggest and highest paying contract you got. It'll cost you more to break the contract more than anything. I'll just do what you said and report the manager at the store. Simple."

"You know when I met you I thought you had a little more fight than this. You can't just let people walk all over you. Where's the chick who told me to come back to her office with something to show I'm worth her time? Cause you're seeming like a defeated quitter right now."

"Because I am. I have no energy to prove to people that I'm more than a stigma or disease. I can't change people's mind."

"But you can. You have been. Before they knew you had HIV you were a boss. You're out here working your ass off when people assume you should be laid up in a bed skinny as hell and dying. Show them it's not like it used to be, that you're a fighter."

She stares into my eyes for a few seconds then asks, "Why are you here?" I furrow my brows. "Like, why are you here when you can be with some girl who's 21 and healthy and who isn't uptight. You could be anywhere.."

"And I'm here. You think I care about that shit? I've had girls who I thought were riders. I'm talking about riding passenger and taking charges for me. You know what they didn't do that you did? You told me that I could do better and be better. That I should quit this illegal bullshit and pursue my dreams. You accept me, but you want better for me. If someone requires something of you it makes you wanna do it. Right now I'm requiring that you don't let this shit effect you because you worked too hard to let people's lack of education on a disease break you. Period!"

She looks down as if thinking. "Did you know you told me you loved me on the beach in Cabo?"

"Yeah, and you didn't say it back. I figured you weren't ready to or you didn't hear me. Why?"

"Oh, I heard you loud and clear. Women always hear it," she says laughing lightly. "I love you too. I appreciate everything you do for me and I'm happy you came into my life. Whatever this ends up being, I don't care. I'm glad you walked into my office seeking my service. As much as you needed me, I needed you too," she says looking back at me.

I smile. "Oh, word?" She laughs mimicking me in her fake, man voice. She leans in kissing me.

Before it can even go anywhere she pulls away from me. She stands up from my lap abruptly saying, "But you can't spend the night tonight. You broke our pinky promise."

"Are you serious?" She nods her head. "You know you wanted me to beat his ass. Don't lie!" I say pointing at her. I laugh making her laugh too.

"Just a little. I appreciate the effort to my cause, but you still can't stay here."

"Whyyy?" I whine.

"Nothing against you. I know you like spending every waking moment with me, but I kinda need space. We've spent two plus weeks together straight. I'm not even going to blame it on me being an Aquarius. I like my alone time and I would like to get some sleep tonight."

"What you tryna say?" I ask getting offended.

"I'm saying you're always all up under me when I'm trying to sleep. All in my space snoring and kicking me. That's what I'm saying. You have a place, sleep there!"

"You know what? You're rude as fuck! Aiight, I'll leave. You're gonna miss me when I'm gone," I say snatching my windbreaker hoodie putting it back on. "I still have to come back here at like 5 o'clock in the morning. Did you forget what tomorrow is? We have that breakfast club interview," I remind her standing up from her bed.

"Yes, I remember. That's why I want my full 8 hours of sleep, so I can be fully rested since we have to wake up that early. Do you remember what else is tomorrow?" I shrug acting like I have no idea what she's talking about. "It's my–"

I cut her off. "Your birthday. I know. That's why you should let me spend the night." I walk up behind her putting my hand on her waist. "Don't you want to wake up with my face in between your legs. Happyyy birthdayyy," I drag out before kissing her neck. For a second I think I got her until she moves away from me.

She pins around wagging her finger at me. "You're not smooth talking me this time. You need to think about what you did breaking our pinky promise like that. I don't even think I can trust you anymore."

"Mann, promises are meant to be broken. Can I at least stay until midnight then slide the tip in as soon as it's the 23rd?" I ask pouting.

"You gotta go," She says pushing me towards the bedroom door laughing. "My vagina needs a break. We had sex enough while on vacation. Plus, I do have a little sister that lives with me."

"Little? She's grown as hell. 18!" I argue, but she wasn't having it. "Fine, I'll see you in the morning." I stop resisting, so I can leave.

One thing Desdemona is right about is not caring what this ends up being. I appreciate our friendship and bond. For once I feel like I found someone who is willing to take me as I am and wait for what I can be...

It was national HIV testing day the other day. I hope everyone got tested. Anyway, comment / vote4️⃣❤️