The following days were strange, at the very least. Tojiro asked me to accompany him everywhere, which I found unusual, but I wanted to know more about his life. I had never piqued myself so close to a human's life, especially not to one I cared about.

I mainly felt out of place during the prolonged meetings with his retainers and other diginatires. I was trying to learn about human customs and how they spent their days, but it all seemed so strange and foreign. Tojiro spent a lot of time in the largest room of his castle, meeting his lords and hearing trouble from merchants and peasants alike. I found this fascinating. If a yokai had a problem, we would not seek some god's assistance. We would figure it out on our own. But these people needed help from him to chase bandits, help them with their failing crops or even protect them from greedy neighbors.

Five days passed, and we were all at the big hall again. Tojiro was sitting at the far end in the middle, his sword spread across his legs. A line of retainers was positioned at each side of him. All of them were formally dressed. I was sitting at the far end, studying everyone carefully and trying to understand humans better. I wanted to believe that if I figured out their kind, I would point my finger at what made Tojiro so special to me, what was that force that made me weak in the knees and willing to spend every day and night alongside this man who had used a simple, clever trick to trap me.

My thoughts were interrupted as the door next to me opened an older man walked in. He was well-dressed, better than many who came to see Tojiro. I had learned to recognize these clothes as retainer clothes, but this was the first time I had seen him here.

"My lord." The man's greeting was cold, but he fell to his knees and bowed so low his forehead touched the ground. "I came to ask for help."

"How unusual." There was a laugh from the rest of the men as Tojiro responded, and I saw the newcomer shift uncomfortably as he raised his head a bit.

"The Kage are still attacking my lands. Their armies had taken two towns already." The man made a passionate plea.

"One has to wonder why," Tojiro responded, his expression cold and unmoved.

This was a side I had seen from him that first night when I met him and every day when he was in his lord mood. Cold and calculating, sometimes his words and actions hurt those across him. I had experienced that, but I had also seen another part of him, the warmth he used when he touched or talked to me in private. He wasn't a different man. He was the same, but he never showed his other side in public, it seemed.

"My lord, my people are suffering, your people!" The man suddenly raised to his feet, and few of Tojiro's retainers moved with unease as if he had done something he was not supposed to.

"You come to me...once every year, and every time it is because someone you provoked is now attacking your lands. I know the Kaga are attacking you. My scouts told me. I also know you diverted the river to feed their fields months ago without asking them." Tojiro smiled with a demonish grin. "This is a mess of your own making. I should punish you for starving them. Instead, I will let that resolve itself and decide how to burden the winner for their transgression, as you are both guilty."

Silence followed. For a second, I thought that would be it, but then the man looked back, his small dark eyes falling on me, and then he turned his toward Tojiro again.

"People said you are housing demons, and they had taken over your soul, but I didn't believe." He made a step forward. "You house a witch who tells you what to do. You are lost, my lord. You are doomed. This demon whore is the end of you. You should feed her to your dogs before she feeds on you."

I wasn't surprised by the words. Servants and retainers alike had given me strange looks, and I knew humans well enough to understand what was hidden behind their eyes. But no one had dared vocalize their fears, never in front of Tojiro, to my knowledge.

The atmosphere in the room drastically changed. I could feel a chill running through the space without any doors or windows being opened. Tojiro got up and walked toward the lord. His steps were slow and measured, his face like a porcelain mask, not expressing anything. 

His hand moved like lightning, pulling the sword out of the sheath and the blade cutting through the man's flesh with such force that it took a nearby candleholder.

Silence followed in the room, everyone's eyes were fixed on the headless dead body in the middle, and I couldn't stop but wonder why Tojiro reacted with the passion he did. Indeed the man was disrespectful, but was he so rude that he deserved to die? Was that just part of Tojiro's cold political calmness that escalated to an impulse?

"We are done here." He cleaned his sword in the man's clothes and walked toward me, offering me a hand to follow him.

I did without a protest, my eyes fixed on his pale skin and the unmoving mask that was his face. We were finally alone in my room, and he sat down, taking a deep breath as if trying to chase what just happened away.

"Why did you do that?" I asked, trying desperately to understand him. 

"Funny question to ask." Tojiro smiled, making that serious face lit. "He disrespected you and me. While his offenses were ongoing, I usually had a different way of punishing him. Assuming I am possessed by a demon is too much."

I tilted my head, realizing he was the one who had asked me if I had enchanted him nights ago.

"What makes you feel I have not enchanted you." I moved closer and sat next to him, my lips inches from him.

"You have not asked for anything." He smirked. "And the opposite of my retainers' beliefs, I still feel myself very much. Maybe a bit happier."

His final word sank in my mind like a stone in the river. Happier? Until this moment, I didn't realize happiness was an option.

A strange light coming from outside woke me up. Tojiro was asleep, and I focused on the unfamiliar lumination to realize it wasn't that alien to me.

I followed it outside, into the inner garden, and then through a hallway to a yard. The shape of a fox was visible on a distant rock, and I could only guess what it was all about. I walked closer, the white kimono dragging behind me and leaving a faint trail in the dirt.

The fox was brown and white around his belly, and I recognized him immediately. As I approached in the darkness, he took a human form of an elderly man, wearing old, well-used clothes. He had his legs crossed under him, still sitting on the stone, the pale moon reflecting in his long silver hair.

"Didn't expect to see you here, Onji." I approached but didn't sit. I just stood there, unsure of what to expect from this visit. Was I being punished? Was he worried? Maybe just passing by? No, unlikely, Onji's specialty was travelers, and he despised the human way of life. He would have no place in a castle. No more than I did.

"I heard a curious story." He started with a big grin, his wrinkled face moving as his lips pronounced the sounds. "A kitsune living in a castle next to a lord as if she is his mistress or something, with no intention to doom his soul and life. Wasn't the craziest thing I had ever heard in my old life, but when I heard you were the kitsune, I couldn't believe it." His face suddenly became severe, and his smiling eyes turned into stone. "What are you doing here, Osen?"

It was a long story at the end of the day. Not necessarily because of the events that led to my current situation but the feelings that made me stay. Would Onji understand? I doubted he was as old as the world and he stuck to what our kind stood for as if the balance in the universe hung on that. I used to think the same, but now I wasn't so sure.

"Trying something different." I didn't elaborate.

"Dear girl." He got off the rock and walked closer to me. "There is nothing different in what you think you are doing. Our kind is not made to mix with theirs. You are not a mortal, nor is he one of us or even a god. He is a simple human, and you are only attracted to him because your instincts push you."

I had questions, how did Onji know all that? Why was he even assuming? I sighed. My kind worked in ways humans didn't, and Onji had obviously put his mind to it.

"You are wrong for once, old man." It was my turn to smile as if I had discovered a secret he was unaware of. "It's not an instinct. He is not my typical victim. I...am truly attracted to this human."

"Silly child." He stepped closer and placed his cold old hand on my cheek. "Our kind is attracted to theirs for one reason - to serve our purpose. A chicken is dear to the farmer because it provides feathers and meets, but that doesn't mean if the chicken was useless, the farmer would still care for it."

"He is not a chicken, and I am not a farmer." I understood it. I upset the natural balance of things. I was not doing my job, but so what? It was not as if the world would end because some man didn't have a fight with his wife. Someone else could sort out that. 

"But you are, my dear. And this chicken lied to you." Again a big grin followed his words. "Your lord is handsome. I grant him that destiny has great things for him in mind, I am sure, but available, his lordship isn't."

I tilted my head, not fully understanding what he was telling me.

"His lordship is engaged. This is why you ate attracted to him. Do you want to bet that the magic will disappear if you make him break the engagement?" Onji was still grinning.

I made a step back and then another one. This had to be a lie. Whatever I felt for Tojiro was real and strong. It wasn't dictated by some instinct given to me by the gods. I respected him as a man, and I loved him. He was the one I wanted, not for the sake of tricks and magic, but for who he was and what I had seen.

"It's true little one...." He turned back into a fox as he said. "Just check his study." With that, he quickly jumped back to the stone and disappeared.

I ran as fast as I could, through the yard, past guards and servants in the hallway, to the room where I knew he usually met with his vassals. I started going through scrolls and books, these odd foreign cabinets, finding contracts and other agreements. I didn't want to believe it. It was a lie, Onji was an old weasel of a fox, and he was lying to me for what purpose I didn't know, but Tojiro was not like the rest of them.

I thought about all that until I found it. A single piece of paper with Tojiro's name, an engagement agreement from two years ago to lady Ao. Stamps and signatures were all there, from Tojiro himself and the bride's father.

I sank down, holding the contract in my hands and my legs crashed against all the papers I had spread scores the floor like a carpet. It was a lie, after all. Tojiro lied to me, but I lied to myself as well. Whatever I felt was not real, and it was just my nature. This was what I had to break, this union, but I couldn't. I wasn't angry, although a faint logical part of my head told me I should be. I felt pain in my chest like I had never felt before. He tricked me. For the second time in a week, this man got me in a trap, but while the first time had been scary, now it was cruel. It wasn't against my nature to feel for him. It was all just part of who I was. There was nothing special about him.

The sun came up. I must have been in this room for hours. Thinking how stupid and naive I must have been. As it opened, I turned my eyes toward the screen door behind me, and Tojiro walked in.

"A bit early for cleaning." He walked in, navigating through the pieces of paper. "What are you doing?" There was no anger in his voice, but I could sense the frustration.

"This." I handed him the piece of paper and stared at him. Whatever explanation he had, honestly, it didn't matter anymore. It was all just faith's dirty tricks to bring me here. He took longer than everyone else. But then, why did the thought of what I was about to do hurt me so badly? Was it purpose unfulfilled, or...

"What of it?" He scanned through the document and then tossed it away as if it was useless.

"I asked you if there is a woman in your life." I got up, anger slowly taking over me. This was a new feeling as well. I had never felt such intense emotion in my life. "You said no, there is no one. I trusted you. I believed in you." The irony was not lost on me. I had my heart broken by a woman I didn't even know. Everything was a circle in this life.

"My dear." He stepped closer to me and tried to touch my face, but I slapped his hand away. "Lady Ao is five years old. She was three when that document was signed. I needed an alliance and am not interested in going through it. She needs to come to age before anything happens, and by the time she comes of age, that contract will be broken for political reasons."

"I have seen how you use politics. This alliance is not meaningless to you. If you ever had affection for me, you would sacrifice it for...a piece of land or a bigger army. You are cold and calculating, and it was just a novelty for you to entertain you" I started crying, which made me even more frustrated. Why was I crying? It was all just how life was supposed to work. Why was I even upset about the natural course of things?

"Osen, stop." He attempted to reach for me again, but I backed and turned into a fox.

He had left the door open behind himself, so it was easy to sneak out. A ran through the hallways and all the out of the castle, through the town, and into the woods. I wanted to look back and hear what he had to say, but I couldn't. Kitsune are prideful creatures, and I had led myself to believe that this one encounter of my life was different. I wanted to believe that I had won against my nature, but I was wrong.