Please don't ever say that again, DanielleWharrie

It kills my heart when hear this from others. It's hell. I dunno if you ever had a friend killing themselves or even experienced the death of another person. It's horrible, even if they don't die at their own will. It's simlpy traumatic and I don't want it.

So please don't think about it anymore. This person ain't worth it, and no matter what happens. stay strong. Cry as much as you want. It's totally fine. I'll be here if you need me or just wanna talk randomly. Just please don't go suicidal. I won't make you promise it, but please know that I wish you'd promise it.

Also, to my dear Avery, if you read this... I love you dearly as a friend. You have a reason on this earth  just like everyone. No matter how small it is, it's important and you'll always have at least one person that'll care about you, because you're that important reason to them. I care about you. I don't know if you care about that and I don't mind if you don't. Just keep in the back of your mind that I'll always care about you. I won't forget about you and I won't stop caring and thinking about you. You're special to me and I can relate so much to you. So crawl out of your hole and start living again. It's not too late as long as you're still breathing.

Bye for now. my foot is freezing (only one. Weird enough) and I'll take that as my sign to go to bed.

...stop scrolling...

...really. Stop it. this is private...

... stop. now. last chance. I don't want to make you sad. Stop scrolling...

... you never listen, do you...?

It's official. She left me. and that even though she promised me TWICE she'd stay.
I've lost trust in her completely.

You know who you are so:
If you ever come back and happen to read this, know that I'll never again share my life with you. you lied. You promised. and you broke your promises. I still see you as a friend even though you hurt me deeply, and I might even have had a little trust left if you told me you would leave. But no. You didn't. You just were gone. I was filled with hope and tried so hard to believe you, but you just left me without another word. Without goodbye. Probably without any regret or even thinking about me. I don't care how many personal problems you might have. You didn't even say bye one last time. You broke my trust twice even though you knew how hard it was for me to gain so much trust in you.
Eh. I was just an idiot. I learned my lesson for real this time. I'll never trust any person this much again.

Also, to those who don't ever listen to me and read this:
Congrats, you really know no privacy.
But it's okay. I hope I can gain at least a bit trust to all of you again. I learned that having a little trust isn't that bad, if you don't trust people that much. If it goes over "trusting" and turns into "depending on", I know I've crossed a line.
It's not your fault that she left and that I'm hart and scared and unsure. I'm sorry. PLease forgive me for being such a douche. I'll try to trust you guys more again. Still, I won't post too personal stuff anymore and I'll keep you out of my problems.
But I'll tell you a little story:
I once again proved that I'm the dumbest person on earth and I'm still surprised that I didn't forget how to breathe yet. Why, you ask? Well, I was just walking. Then I tripped and hit my damn toe so that it started bleeding (which I didn't even notice for the first few minutes. Congrats, me). It turned out to be contused in the end. It's purple, swollen and I can't really walk good. I'm a threat to myself. I won't go suicidal but after what happened all to me because of me, I wouldn't exclude the possiblity that I'll kill myeslf in an accident.