[I've wanted to write one of these for awhile]
[Hanahaki Disease: A Disease where one has a flower that grows in their lungs and chest if they believe the one they love does not love them back/requited love]
[Main Setting: Kings Highschool]
[This is going to be a long chapter—]

John fidgeted in his desk as the teacher blabbered on about something, it was a bit incoherent at the moment as John wasn't particularly listening...at all. As per usual, very usual, he was making it look as if he were listening by staring forward, not at the teacher though, of course Alex, duh, what else would he be doing at school? Learning? Yeah, yeah sure.

This tactic seemed to have been working up to this point as with John looking at Alex it made him look very interested, which he very was, and when the teacher looked over, that's just what she saw, not a hurt, Gay boy pining over his best friend but simply one that was very indulged in the class activities.

John had known Alex since the beginning to Middle school until now, their senior year of High school, and before they even became friends, John had a full on crush on that boy, it was pure luck that he was new and John just so happened to invite him to his friend group- actually, no, John just so happened to have a wonderful Laf who he pleaded to invite the "Cute boy over there," To their friend group before another group snagged him, such as Aaron's group, as John had seen the two walking the day before, prompting him even more to spring- rather, have Laf spring, to go and get Alex.

Either way, it worked out and John had accomplished more than what he had initially hoped for, he was one of Alex's closest-

Another lie.

John was a nobody to Alex.

Well, that's what it felt like-
No, that was a lie too.

John wanted to feel like a nobody to Alex because when he thought about being a somebody to Alex...that was just being his good friend, and that hurt more than trying to make yourself invisible to your crush, so John suppressed any feelings he could at any moment he could, other then when he could look at the boy from behind when he was unaware, trying so, so hard otherwise to disappear in the other's eyes, but Alex made that very difficult.

John's shook his head out of his Alex dazed state when the bell rang and blared throughout the room, summoning sighs of both relief and irritation from the group of students. John always either tried to leave very quick, first, so he could avoid Alex, or stall on his phone until Alex left, but this only worked fifty percent of the time both ways, today was the other fifty percent.

"Hey, Papa John!" Alex cracked a grin as he approached John in an actually great Italian accent.

John felt his face heat up, spreading to the whole of his body, "Oh, Hey." He managed to squeak out.

"What's up, Johnny boy?" Alex leaned against John's desk.

John kept his face down, as it burned bright red, Alex did this, always, he never called him John or Laurens, It was always nicknames, and John felt like he was in a love-hate relationship with the nicknames, he didn't want Alex to find out he was blushing, nor that he cared at all, but here was the rare thing, the rare but wonderful thing, when John managed to actually muster to courage to respond with a nickname for Alex, it always came out terrible, but Alex would always laugh, and John loved his laugh, so his foolishness was worth it, "Hey- Uh, papa Alex?"

Alex paused, he didn't laugh immediately this time but his face seemed to turn into- and embarrassed look? Maybe? No? No. Before he let out a fit out laughter.

By now, John's freckles had their own hue of red and it was a miracle that his feet were still holding him up.

"I meant Papa John like the restaurant!" Alex laughed out hardily.

John had to lean against his desk to keep from probably, actually melting at this point and moment, "Papa Alex sounds kinky, doesn't it?" John blurted out the obvious with an awkward laugh.

Alex simply returned a smile, "I suppose."

Silence.
More silence.
Awkward silence.
The teacher was still there.

"Let's get to lunch then, huh?" John swung his backpack over his shoulder with a nod.

Alex nodded as well and began to follow before stopping abruptly, "Hey, I'll catch up, I just forgot to ask the teacher something."

John's previous, soft smile faltered for a moment before it returned, not as genuine, but something, "Alright, I'll walk slow."

"Thanks." Alex waved as John exited.

Once John had left, Alex put his hand over his mouth and hooked it towards the tissues of the classroom, grabbing one, the teacher hardly noticing as, well, she was a teacher, it's a bonus if she actually cared about every single student.

Alex put the tissue over his mouth as he felt something rise in his throat and he coughed, it hurt, hurt like hell itself was burning in his throat as something spat itself into the tissue.

Alex looked down and his eyes widened to see a flower petal, "...Another one?" He murmured quietly before crumpling it up and tossing the tissue, with the petal, into the trash, hurrying outside to meet the one who was causing this problem.

Alex looked up to meet John's eyes, John had been waiting, waiting for him, and god did it hurt to know that this boy was just out of his grasps.

"Ready?" John's voice sounded like silk to Alex's ears in all honestly, and it took him a moment before he felt the petals rise again and he had to look away from John.

John noticed a frown form on Alex's fade as he looked away and nodded with a respond of "Ready.." John couldn't help but wonder if perhaps he'd done something...he hated the feeling of guilt, but here it was, "Alex?"

Alex looked up at John, giving a weak smile that seemed a tad bit forced, but wasn't the moment their eyes met, "Yeah, Laurey?"

"Tell me if something is wrong?" John bit his lip slightly in worry.

"I'm fine." Alex assured John, a bit startled that the other had caught onto this so fast, well, not particularly fast, the petals had started a month ago, and the chest pains just keep getting worse.

"Is there anything I can do...?" John blinked.

Love me, say you love me..., "I don't think so...but thanks, Johnny." Alex forced a smile this time, even while looking John right in the eye.

"As long as you're sure." John smiled and patted Alex on the head, "You know I care about you, right?" John could feel his heart-rate pick up at  the fact that he had just said this.

Alex's heat soared and his heart swelled—
And the flower bloomed.

Alex clutched his stomach as he wobbled and fell to his knees, trembling, John immediately slamming to the ground to put an arm over his shoulder, "Alex? Al? You- Okay?"

Alex could feel petals rising quickly in his throat, more coming as John's hand touched him, John's affections were only making it worse, the absolute motivation of pain though was that Alex wanted nothing more than to fall into John's arms and let him hold him, tell him why he was sick, that he loved him, that he knew John didn't love him back, and that was alright, but he needed to know- but these thoughts only chocked him even more and the pain was intensifying. He could feel himself about to vomit.

"Alex? Alex what's-"

"G-get away, o-kay?" Alex managed to croak out.

"Alex!"

"Get away, Laurens!" Alex hissed out.

No nickname.
No Alex.
Broken John.
Fleeing John.
Flower petals everywhere.
Broken Alex.

Alex looked at all the flower petals he had vomited up before falling against the wall behind him and letting out a small sob, some flower petals falling from his lips as he did so, "I need this...to stop..." More petals.

Alex shakily grabbed his phone and held it up to his ear, "...Laf...Mhm...I- he is? ...I'm sorry...but...Laf I want to go through with the surgery...yeah..I will...thanks...oh- and- Laf...please don't tell John Um- don't give him the name of- of the Disease...just because...Okay, b-" His Goodbye was cut off as he coughed up a handful of petals and then hung up.

***

John felt his heart shatter when he heard Alex yell at him and backed up slowly. He had to go now anyway, he couldn't let Alex see him break, or anything, to show he was hurt, he'd know then, he'd know... he couldn't know, John didn't want to add to his rejection list, especially considering that this was Alex of all people.

John simply continued to backup until jogging away from the scene, turning the corner while feeling his throat burn with held back tears;

That was one of John's major rules: never cry at school.

That rule was going to be broken if John didn't find a quiet place to calm down in in a minute or two.

John was heading towards the inclusive, one-stall bathrooms to be alone when his eye caught Lafayette and he instantly bolted towards the other.

Laf was startled when he felt hands wrap around his chest in a tight hug, and a moment later her heard a very quiet, little cry from behind, immediately identifying the owner of the cry as John. He grabbed John's hands from in front of him as pulled them off so he could turn around and see the other who looked absolutely shattered at the moment, which broke Lafayette's heart, he knelt down a bit to be closer to John's height, "Mon Ami, what is wrong?" Lafayette frowned.

"Alex hates me now." John sighed out shakily.

"I am here that is not going the case." Lafayette sighed as he ushered a John beside him with his face towards the walls made of lockers so nobody could see his face which looked like he was fighting back tears, which was true, "What happened?"

"I'm not- sure- he just...we were coming over here and then- I asked if he was alright when he was acting strange and...he-" John paused as Lafayette's phone began to ring.

Lafayette looked at the caller ID and frowned when he saw that Alex was calling. He paused a moment to take in what John had said and recalled Alex talking to him about his throat having felt burned earlier and...perhaps needing surgery, maybe he was feeling worse...? Lafayette didn't know a lot about what was going on, only that Alex had told him the sickness went by the name of the Hanahaki Disease, nothing more than that, Laf hadn't really cared at the time, thinking it wasn't that serious...but for Alex to push away John like that...was far from normal.

Lafayette put his arm around John as the boy began to cry quietly, he could easily get upset, but crying wasn't his thing at school, this was far from okay and it wasn't...right; thinking for these split seconds made Lafayette bubble with a bit of anger at Alexander for all of this.

Lafayette held the phone to his ear and heard choked noises on the other end.

"Laf?"

"Oui? Alexander Hamilton, you have caused a lot of havoc with John mon Ami..."

"Mhm..." Alex's voice sounded regretful over the line but was also hollowing out, "I-"

"You made John cry." Lafayette stated simply, causing John to stomp on his foot, followed by a wince from Laf but nothing more.

"-He is?" Alex's voice went up an octave and his regret seemed to deep through the phone.

"Oui." Lafayette nodded.

"...I'm sorry..."

"I should hope so," Lafayette sighed.

"But, ...Laf, I want to go through with the surgery." Alex's voice sounded shaky.

Lafayette nodded slowly, "Mm...are you su- never mind, of course you are sure- do you need a ride to...the hospital or, emergency or somewhere?" He offered.

"Yeah, I will." Alex replied.

"I can drive you then." Lafayette sighed.

John gave a confused look to Lafayette to which Lafayette responded with a single finger, signifying just a moment.

"Thanks..."

"Mm...bye."

"Oh- And Laf...please don't tell John the um- don't give him the name of- of the Disease..."

Lafayette frowned, "Why not? He has a right to-"

"Just because,"

"...Fine...Bye..."

"By-" Hurling sounds came from Alex's end of the line, causing Lafayette to panic just a bit as Alex hung up a moment later.

"What's wrong?" John's voice was thick with worry.

"Alexander needs to go to the..." Lafayette paused, realizing maybe he shouldn't tell John...If I can not tell him the name, I can tell him the truth at the least, "Alexander is sick and needs to go to the hospital.

Bad idea.

John's eyes widened and his breath hitched, "I- I'm-" He shook his head, "Let's go." He booked it down the hall back towards Alex.

"Let us go?" Lafayette cocked an eyebrow.

"You think you're going to leave me here?" John scoffed as he turned the corner, his heart aching as he saw Alex on the ground and...flower...petals...? Confusion now supposedly.

Alex looked up and met John's eyes, the pain growing so immense that he couldn't bare it and he vomited flower petals over the previous ones.

John looked in horror at what happened in front of him and fell to his knees, pulling Alex into his lap before struggling to get to his feet, but managing.

Alex coughed up more petals, aiming away from John through a blushing face before groaning, "Y-ou're ma-m-making it w-worse-" More petals.

"I'm going to make you better, Al...I promise, Okay?"

"Joh-" More petals.

"If that's the outcome of you speaking then just be quiet." John sighed out a bit too harsh.

Alex felt a harsh thud in his chest at how upset John sounded and forced his mouth shut.

"WAIT!" A loud call sounded from behind the boys.

Meanwhile.
Laf had been searching up the Disease.
Seeing the scene ahead of him...an idea formed, a solution.

"Merde!" Lafayette panted out, "You run fast when carrying him!"

John still walked forward, pausing as Alex threw up more flower petals onto the floor, "Al...what's wrong...?"

"Look." Lafayette grabbed John's shirt collar and turned his head towards his phone scream, "Do not say anything, read, then I will leave."

John frowned before scanning the page, his heart instantly filling with adrenaline and then confusion as he knelt down slowly to place Alex down.

Lafayette nodded and backed away from the scene, heading around the corner.

"We need...to get...to the hospital..." Alex coughed out some petals.

John looked down at Alex blankly, "...So they can remove the flower?"

Alex looked a bit flustered, "Wh-hat?"

"Alex," John groaned weakly before putting his head in his hands, "Alex...?"

Alex coughed a bit before sitting up with a groan, "Yeah...?"

John looked up from his hands, staring right at Alex and into his eyes, "Is it me?"

Alex's heart went faster than the beat of a hummingbird's wing, "Wh-at?"

"Is it me?" John repeated.

Alex's Head spiraled, "I don't understand..."

"Alex...please, just tell me," John's voice sounded hurt.

Alex heard the harmed voice and looked away, "Exactly..."

"What?" John frowned.

"Listen to yourself, John." Alex muttered out bitterly, "You sound sad."

"I am!" John curled his toes in a bit of frustration.

"I can't help it!" Alex trembled a bit.

"Yes you can!- You could have asked me for help!"

Alex shook his head, "Goddmanit, no, I mean, I can't help it as in I can't help the fact the I-" Alex let out a curse, here it goes, "That I'm in love with you, John!" Alex let out a cough as some petals flew out.

John had longed to hear those words for so long...but not now, not after the fact that, "You wanted...to get surgery...to stop loving me..."

Alex fell silent and shrank down.

John was almost entirely sure that he had never felt more pain in his entire life up until now.

"You don't know the pain I'm going through...you don't know what I wanted to do and why..." Alex muttered through some petals that flew out.

"Yes, actually, I do," John looked back to Alex.

"No, no you don't, you don't have- you don't have this," Alex punched his chest and coughed out over a dozen petals.

"Yeah, because I had some hope here, that's my Disease, Hamilton, hope," John stood to his feet to look down at Alex.

"Hope?" Alex's eyes narrowed.

"Hope, looking at you, every- every god darn time I look at you...in class...in the halls...at lunch, at break, right now, when you crushed me...every time I see you...I can't help but feel my heart, I don't know I'm what way, but when I see you...I'm aware that my heart is there...and with every nickname...I have hope that maybe he does like me...maybe...but oh my lord- do you know how much pain comes with pining? With loving someone and them being so vulnerable...and then they shove you away and tell you to go away! It's- it's agony, Al-lex...you..."

"It's this..." Alex stated down at his legs, covered in flower petals.

John let a few, small tears escape from the corner his eyes before he quickly used his shoulders to wipe them away, "If I had lost hope...even if I had...even if I got this...this disease...Alexander Hamilton, I would rather die loving you then live on without the glorious, horrendous feeling of heart-ache." John knelt down so that his face and Alex's face were less than two inches apart.

"You...do...you love me?" Alex murmured.

John didn't know how to respond for a moment before he nodded simply, "You cause me so much pain, Hamilton, but I couldn't live without you loving me as much as I love you."

Alex felt his heart melt, literally, as the flower itself wilted inside of him and was destroyed by the acid in his stomach.

"Johnny..." Alex sighed out breathlessly.

"Peaches..." John put his hand to cup Alex's cheek and couldn't help but smile, smile from ear to ear and from lungs to heart.

Alex allowed himself to fall forward into an embrace as John held him.

Nickname.
Alex.
Half John.
Holding Alex.
Flower petals everywhere.
Half Alex.

Full heart.