The plate had been ravaged prior to this photo, so I saved this little guy before my mother promptly ate it.  🤣

Nobody:

Me: *Random hysterical laughter as I remember that one time my bro and I teamed up to catch a live seagull at Marineland*

The employees were not as impressed, sadly...

We were feeding fish at the pond there, and one bold seagull was all: YEY, FREE FOOD!!!

..So I snatched it out of midair while my bro distracted the guards.  #Iamactuallyacatconfirmed?

.........................................

Then they eventually noticed and made me let it go.  *Le cri*

The LoOkS we got, though!  *Outraged*

Nobody:

My bro and I nearly coming home with a large Labrador retriever a couple of days ago: 😲

A homeless man just approached us as we were out walking and asked if we wanted his dog, because he couldn't care for it anymore.

Most homeless around here are usually homeless not because of their circumstances so much as they blow all of their money on dr*gs and things, but this man actually seemed legit.  

Meanwhile, his dog is just pressing his side into me and begging for petting.  (And yes, I happily obliged.)

But my parents would NOT be pleased if we randomly came home with (yet another) animal.  😰

By my parents, I mean my mother.  

Dad would be all: YEY!!!  IT REMINDS ME OF LICORICE, MY CHILDHOOD DOG!!!  ..But smaller.

Mom: *Intense G L A R E*

So the man's giving me the leash and asks if he can say goodbye, nearly crying, and then he's all: You know, maybe I should..  Um..  Take him to the shelter myself.  Maybe I can adopt him back.  *Hopeful face*

Us: *Thinking that that's usually not how it works around here, but we're not going to mention that, because we know that it's just because he doesn't want to say goodbye just yet*

Him: *Hugs his dog and leaves*

Us: *Sigh of relief, 'cause mom won't kill us just yet*

When I came home later and brought Ginger inside from his outdoor run, I placed him on my lap, and the poor guy was SOO suspicious, I swear to the FSM.  He kept sniffing my pant leg and aggressively chin marking over it.  Like, dude, I'm yours, but I can see other animals if I want to!!!

And he's just placing his paw onto my arm protectively, and his face so intensely said: MINE.  MIIIIIINE!!!

We went day tripping up into Amish/Mennonite land again on Saturday, (Dad was a grump again, but a cute grump) and we bought some nice fabrics, went for a little stroll on a covered bridge and things, but the story that I want to tell you all takes place at a humble little gas station as we were coming home.

Dad's fueling up the car, and mother had her door open.  We were right beside the actual building, so then there's this random dude trying to walk to the store.

He walks alongside our car, notices the door when he's maybe two inches from it, and then he stops and StArEs at it in complete bewilderment.

He spends maybe ten or fifteen seconds standing there (still staring at the door, completely baffled) and then he finally figures out that he can go AROUND it and continue into the establishment.

...............................................

It makes me worry about the IQ of these people even more than before.

..And that's saying something.

The way that our family doctor asked me how I look now, (nobody wants to know about my bro, somehow😂) so my mom's looking for a picture of me on her phone.

..Which means that she has to scroll by dozens of photos of Ginger boi.

My job here is done.

Me who avoids our doctor like the plague because she nearly killed all of us at some point:

What's the best Wi-Fi name you've seen?

Skylor: Is something burning?
Kai: Just my love for you.
Skylor: Kai, the toaster is on fire.