Akutagawa Ryūnosuke had a problem. It started simple, as naught but a minor inconvenience, but now it just hadto be dealt with. It was affecting his daily life, and several times already had he forgotten to do easy, absentminded things, such as putting on shoes or taking deeper breaths than usual when waking up in the morning, because he'd feel like he was choking otherwise. This issue was constantly on his mind, and honestly? It was getting on his last goddamn nerve. Now you're probably wondering what that problem is? The lifestyle-altering issue he was currently battling was, unbeknownst to him as he'd had nobody to explain these things, a massive crush on Nakajima Atsushi, which was, yes, very much making his life difficult. Every time he saw the helpful bangsie, his heart would start beating faster, causing him to forget to breathe, which led to constant coughing fits around him. That in itself was really annoying, but he could deal. Then there was a stealth mission, (which those ridiculous shoes might've compromised anyway, but—) and the image of Atsushi popped up in his head randomly, causing him to stumble and create an ungodly amount of noise. The mission was completed, but jokes circulated for weeks, as that was the sort of mistake he didn't often make, but did often reprimand others for making. The Black Lizard, at Gin's command, went to go shut up and scare a few people to make their point, but that didn't end his frustration. All it did was make him feel as though there really was something he ought to do about this. So he did...ish?

In the middle of the night, he snuck to the window of Atsushi's dorm and knocked on it till he woke up. When he saw Ryū's face, he was angry and confused, even more so than he originally would've been at just having been woken up in the first place.

"What are you doing here?!" he hissed under his breath after opening the window and letting Akutagawa in. "It's the middle of the night!"

"Just... come with me," he said, holding out a hand. 

"Why the fuck would I— That raises so many red flags. You have kidnapped me before and you expect me to just take your hand and go wherever it is you wanna take me?!"

Akutagawa tilted his head inquisitively. Still calmly, but coupled with slight impatience.

"You'll still come, though. You're scared I might've done something horrible to someone— I haven't— and that there might actually end up being something worth seeing. Which, by the way, there is."

"Hmp— well, fine then," he replies, still looking uncomfortable but taking the hand gently offered to him regardless.

"We're going somewhere the Port Mafia doesn't know about, if that makes you feel safer. Somewhere even Gin doesn't know about. I've been there countless times and never run into another person, though there are animals abound, but they're all so sweet. I actually met them while I was wandering through the forest, lost beyond all comprehension. They can't talk, since this isn't some fairytale, but their eyes do all the talking they could ever need to. They're so smart, it's incredibly easy to tell so. And they're beautiful as well. You'll... You'll see when we get there," he said, a soft smile spreading across his face, lighting up his eyes and making his pale skin seem to glow.

"Hm..." Atsushi hummed thoughtfully.

'He doesn't seem to be plotting anything,' he thought. 'But with the Port Mafia, you never can tell, can you? I guess I just have to find out when we get there, like he said. I suppose I trust him too, because I'm sure I wouldn't do this for any other member of the Port Mafia, not even Higuchi-san. And he knows I trust him too, either that or he really does understand the inner workings of my mind, and better than I do, at that. I should probably be more frustrated about that, but it feels... oddly comforting, for some reason. Like a warmth in my chest.'

"...Oi, Jinko! Are you listening?"

"Huh— what?!"

"Look around. We're here."

They had arrived at the small entrance to a simply massive cave in the forest, with a large opening in the top that the moon shone beautiful rays through, and the inside was glowing with colors of all sorts, since under the moonlight, the unusually colored plants reflected all sorts of shades and hues off of each other. It was cool, but not cold, and peaceful without being too quiet. Nocturnal birds in the area and some such lovely night sounds. Things that made it nice, and the very air spoke of purity.

"Whoa... this is just... ethereal."

"Yeah. I don't think there's actually a word to describe this, but ethereal was always the closest I could get. It's quiet and pretty. Let me see if I can find... Kyō, where are you?!" he called loudly.

"Who's Kyō? I thought you said there were no people here?" Atsushi asked, angrily getting ready for a fight.

"Wait, wait!" Kyō's a deer fawn, and if she comes, Machiko will too."

"Is Machiko her mother or something?"

"Yes, actually, and since Kyō's a newborn, she'll follow her around to make sure she stays out of trouble and doesn't get eaten by a bear or something. But there's one more thing I need to tell you about the wildlife here."

"Yeah?"

"It's that—"

"Holy shit!" Atsushi exclaimed, jumping three feet back. "What's with that?!"

"—they're all colored strangely. I don't know if they evolved that way, or if it's something in the water, but the deer here are all that shade of royal blue. I mean, sometimes a young one will be slightly lighter. Their coats eventually darken, even though I have no idea how that works."

"Alright," Atsushi said, calming down as the fawn nosed at his shoes. "That caught me off guard for real."

"Yeah, I could tell. These animals aren't exactly jumpy though, so if you aggravate a newborn's parent, they will not hesitate to beat your ass."

"And how do you know that?" Atsu snickered.

"How do you think I know that, Jinko?" he replied, dead serious.

"Hhh... you have nothing akin to a sense of humor, Akutagawa," he sighed exasperatedly.

"My life isn't funny, so why would I laugh?"

"To ignore that fact, obviously. Why do you think I joke around? It's definitely not because my life is funny. Furthest thing from it, actually," he deadpanned.

"Hm... I guess you're right. But still. I haven't laughed in years. Maybe since I never really had anything to laugh at. The funniest part of my life was watching over Gin. Her existence was pure enough for me to be able to laugh, sometimes... but not anymore. She's a Port Mafia assassin. And there's nothing funny about that. In fact, sometimes I just sit and think about how possible it is that she may one day turn against me. That because we're part of the Port Mafia as siblings, we're in even more danger than your average Port Mafia member. There's always someone they can use against us. The hardships can always get worse. She could die any day. I could die any day. And we would never get the chance to say goodbye to the last of our family. It's something I really don't have the luxury of forgetting, even though you do. Just another thing you have that I could never dream of."

"Maybe, but think of it this way. I never had any real family to begin with. According to the headmaster— whose words I'll trust as long as his heart beats, but anyway—" he mocked bitterly. "Apparently as an infant, my actual parents abused me worse than he did. And he's driven several nails through my feet as a child, I lived chained up for years in a cold, nasty-smelling dungeon sort of place. He didn't even tell me I had an ability, so I didn't find out until Dazai-san told me. He tried to drown me more than once, he beat me horribly, I was constantly in fear and confusion, very much stressed and sleep deprived, and nothing was ever explained to me, so I'm still to this day, figuring things out about myself as I meet new people, making new friends and enemies with their own stories along the way. I haven't known the beauty of life until very recently, and you said you'd been here thousands of times, so that means you must've had this safe space for so much longer than I've been free. But you have to live in constant fear of betrayal and loss, although you have a sister who loves you to death and back. I have no family, but I've got so many close-knit true friends that we might as well be a family. We were both dealt horrible cards, you and me, but I could be doing better, and it's my fault entirely that I'm not, because I'm doing badly as myself with better cards than you. But the thing is, you're much, much more skilled and experienced, and infinitely more decisive. So your situation can't get much better, unless you become a better, stronger person. And mine won't get much better unless I become a stronger, more resourceful person. So we've both got room to grow, and since we're each missing the redeeming quality the other has, why shouldn't we do it alongside each other? Truth be told, I kind of see you as a friend regardless, so it's not like I hate you or anything, you're just a little infuriating and I get irked too easily."

"I think that was supposed to be comforting."

"Yeah."

"You really aren't that much better at talking to people than I am."

"No, not really. Haven't had much practice, ya know?"

"Yeah..."

"Hm. Well, unless you had something to tell me, I think it's time for me to get home."

"Uh, wait!" he faltered while grabbing Atsushi's wrist, causing him to glance back in surprise. "Um— you know what? I did actually have something to tell you, but I don't think I can bring myself to. S-sorry."

"Mhm, that's fine. See you here tomorrow night, then?" he replied calmly.

"Uh, yeah sure," Akutagawa said, grateful the albino turned away when he did, because a second later, his face was flushed a beautiful scarlet and he couldn't think properly.

"What the fuck is wrong with me?!" he hissed at himself. "Why is he so... so... ugh?!"

'He will be the end of my life one day. He's just so... so... pretty? Yeah. Wait, what the fuck am I thinking? Is this like that one stupid thing in those busted up old fairytale books I used to read to Gin where someone finds someone else pretty and then can't function like a normal human being around them? Because I really don't need that, at all. My life is confusing enough already, thanks.'