☆Greatness☆

"The one I kiss is the Destroyer. When I do it, come in and bind her fast," she whispered. The other workers had already been sent to the police office, and the kids were getting gathered into the car. The only person left was Battlewinner.

"Yes, Greatness." Her father's friend took her hand before she went in. "Be careful."

She went inside the room. Her mother was there, a cigarette on her red lips. Regret in her eyes. They really didn't mix at all.

"Greatness, I thought about this for a long time. Maybe we can move to Korea when this is all done. When the last assassin graduates, I want to focus on- us. Family."

Ha. Family. Like she hadn't killed her father a few months ago. But she had to play along, there were the officers outside. Officers that Father knew. Officers that obeyed the law, the ones that were honorable.

How vulnerable Battlewinner really was. Not even knowing that it was too late to say such things. If she hadn't killed her father- if he was still here- maybe she could forgive. But no. She could still imagine Battlewinner's hands, her father's blood soaking them, as she opened the closet door.

"That sounds great, Mother." Mother. She spat that word out like a filthy insect. Battlewinner looked at her with a frown, and then shook her head.

"Forgive me, Greatness. I don't deserve to be called your mother, I know that. But you're the only thing I have left, with the assassination group. And when the assassination group is gone, we can focus on each other."

The signal. It was time. She went up to her, staring at her red lips, and gently kissed her on the cheek, taking her gun away as she did so. That was when the officers came in and threatened to shoot. It was pathetic, how Battlewinner struggled for words, stared at her in disbelief. She could have killed Greatness right then, but she didn't.

Greatness leaned closer, lowering her voice so nobody else but they could hear.

"Rabbi."

☆

I don't know how I felt about Deathbringer. But I do know two things. I was abusive and I didn't want him to leave my side.

I poured out everything to please him. When I told him my feelings the day we kissed, I didn't love him. I was simply curious of how he would react- would he pity me?- and then I saw his relieved eyes. In the end, I was only a person that he acted like he loved because I knew his secrets. Hoping that would keep my mouth shut. And it did.

I always viewed justice as something holy- something that needed to be kept. Maybe I got that from my father, who was a police officer. He was the very opposite of Battlewinner-bhe took pride in keeping the law safe, in catching the bad people. I have no idea how the two fell in love, but I could tell I wasn't just an accident, no matter what I told everyone. They did love each other. The only thing that made them fight was the fact that they had different beliefs.

Battlewinner believed that she had to eliminate the bad in order to make a gold place. It was also a bonus if she made money off it. So she bought children, made them broken, and offer them a hand as if she was their savior. Maybe she even believed she was.

The truth was, there were so many people like Deathringer. She recruited disgusting people- people that strangely liked to rape children, liked seeing them writhing and begging in pain- and asked them to do those very things. She even payed them to do it. When it was finished, she went up to the children and asked what they wanted to destroy. If they said they didn't want to do anything, they were destroyed along with the criminals. If they said they wanted revenge, Battlewinner brought them to the training camp. Obviously, she didn't do them on their own- she sent other people to do her dirty work. The only thing that mattered to her was the outcome. The one boy that she had an interest in was Deathbringer, and she wouldn't stop complimenting him. I could read her eyes- only if you were my son. Only if you had been born from my womb, instead of this horribly weak traitor.

That's why I destroyed the files before turning them in. I wanted to see what kind of person he was- the traits that made him so great.

I could tell he didn't trust me, but that he was determined to make me care for him so I wouldn't go betray him.

The thing he didn't know, though, was that I could love him more than a person has ever loved a person and still turn him in. I worked that way. And sometimes I could understand Batrlewinner, despite all our differences. She cared for her assassination group, and I cared for justice. I was willing to lie and cheat for it.

But something kept me from turning him in, and that was determination to make him fall in love with him so I could break him.

It was a cruel goal I had in mind. I could tell he wanted to keep me by his side so I wouldn't go blabbering about his assassinations. In turn, I wanted him to love me so I could punish him for all the wrong deeds he had done. I felt disgusted by him, horrified that someone could perform murders and never fell any remorse while doing it. The more I spent time with him, the more convinced I got that he was a different version of Battlewinner.

Stupidly, I fell in love with him.

When I realized that I did, I changed my goal- I wanted him to see that there were good people that he could trust. He had no faith in the world, and that was what kept him from accepting what he had done was wrong. So I was determined to make him see that the good person was me. That I would accept him no matter what.

The more I tried to make him love me, the more I fell in love with him. It was ridiculous. I found that I liked his dark eyes, and that I kept trying to make up excuses for what he had done. A few months after we got into our relationship, I even began being jealous of Glory. And I kept looking at Deathbringer eagerly, wanting him to realize that he loved me, too. That I was the "good person" he had been missing in his life.

Did I trust him? Not really. He was a bubble that could burst at the slightest touch. I had seen how Battlewinner had killed the person she loved. Even when I loved him, I never trusted him. I thought about what he said in the day over and over again, wondering what he meant. Was he threatening me? Wanting to kill me?

I think that's why I never taught him where my house was. And why I slept with a gun under my mattress.

But I did care for him. That was for sure. I loved him more than I had loved anyone. He sometimes even reminded me of my father, although that was ridiculous.

The most painful thing was that he didn't love me.

When he called, I gave up everything to get to him. My heart wouldn't stop thumping until I saw him, turning on all the lights, pointing the gun at nothingness. And I was scared he would shoot me, but I went in anyway. And he never did. He would just start choking and screaming and crying.

That made me hate Battlewinner more. I never had the heart to tell him that the person that had caused everything was Battlewinner. That she was not his savior. That my mother was a horrible person, the one that had cut away his soul into pieces. I was too selfish to say it. Too afraid that he would leave me.

I think I was so messed up in my own vulnerability that I started being abusive to him. When he calmed down from his attacks, I found myself thinking over and over again, yes, he needs me. Nobody else would ever understand why he gets those attacks. Nobody would want to stay by his side if they knew he killed so many people. I'm the right one for him.

When he fell asleep again on the couch, my thoughts were shattered because he never whispered my name. He cried out Glory over and over again, sometimes whimpering, sometimes smiling.

That was the only name he ever said in his dreams.

After that, I found myself more abusive than before. I wouldn't stop hinting to him that she would never love him for who he really was. I acted like I was encouraging to step out of his shell, when in reality I was pushing him deeper into it. I looked at Glory's beautiful green eyes and my own, boring brown ones. Her shiny blonde hair and my raven black. She was beautiful and innocent and mature where I was ugly and dark and childish. And I slowly grew to hate her. I started holding hands with Deathbringer public, sometimes even kissing him. I knew she was hurt, but I told myself that she didn't even know pain. Here I was, giving my everything to Deathbringer, only to hear him cry a girl's name in his dreams. I became suspicious and horrible and abusive.

Looking back, I should have trusted him, and I should have trusted myself.

☆

Whenever we met- which wasn't too frequent, because his mother was home- he always had to go because Glory had called, asked for something. And I was always left behind, sitting on the bench holding two ice cream cones, or holding two movie tickets.

It came up to the point that I made him promise to not leave me until the day ended. He always left. One word from Glory, and he was gone.

How could I not know? I would have been stupid if I didn't realize that Deathbringer couldn't love anything else other than Glory. But I kept holding on, kept on being abusive, hinting that I was the only person that really accepted him. But did I, really?

He prioritized Glory over me, and I prioritized him over everything else. On top of that, I didn't trust him, and he didn't trust me. The only thing thst kept us together was a thin string of love, and when we tried to balance our insecurities on that thing string, it broke. I just tried to hide those insecurities, trying to keep the string from breaking.

One day, on our way to get a waffle from Waffle House, our string finally snapped. We were getting our orders when Deathbringer got an urgent call. When I got the waffles and went into my car, he was calling Glory.

"Glory, where are you? Your grandma just called and she said you were missing-"

I snapped. Jealousy. "Deathbringer, who is it?"

Deathbringer shooed me away. "Glory-"

Jealousy and annoyance. "Can we have a date without you calling Glory in every second of it?"

He looked at me with disbelief. "Let me take one call, okay? Glory's grandmother is worried because of her. I'll take care of it quickly. Why are you so angry?"

Why am I so angry?

I don't know. Maybe because I drop everything when I'm with you, and you don't drop anything. Because you don't love me, you're only using my feelings to keep my mouth shut. So many things I want to say, and he kept calling.

"What's wrong, Glory?"

"Deathbringer, let's talk for a second," I snapped. Who gave a damn about those waffles. I got into the car. "So it's Glory, is it? Are you going away again? Do you even know how annoying it is, Deathbringer? You always leaving, expecting me to understand?"

"Woah. Greatness, hold on. I'll just finish one call and we can talk about it, okay?" Deathbringer's frown. I wanted to wipe it off.

"I was stupid to ever believe you can actually have feelings for me," I spat out, and Deathbringer finally hung up.

"What's wrong with you, Greatness? Glory's in a bad place and I need to help her. Why are you so angry all of a sudden?"

"How would you feel if we went on a date and I promised you I would stay with you until the end of the date, and go away EVERY TIME for a friend of mine? I get she might need help, but am I not important to you? Why do you always expect me to understand, and how much do I need to excuse you leaving all the time?"

Deathbringer sighed. "I'm sorry, but can we talk about this later? I need to call her."

"See?" Jealousy and annoyance and anger. God, tears were dripping down my face. "You call me at three o'clock in the morning and I come to your house because you're important to you. It doesn't matter if I'm sleeping, or if I'm cooking or doing whatever people do at 3 o'clock. I come to you, I comfort you, and I never ask you to stop calling me. And I like going to your house, okay? I like taking care of you. I know you're using me and lying that you love me just so I can keep my mouth shut and whatever, but-"

"I'm not, Greatness. Believe me, I do like you. You- it's you that doesn't trust me."

"Oh, and you trust me?" Tears. I wanted them to stop, but they keep flowing out like rain. "And then I think, would you come to my house at 3 o'clock if I called? You don't even care enough to stay for our dates, you always go when Glory calls you. Do you think I'm stupid?" I'm reached out and shook him. He didn't stop me.

My mouth was acting on its own, spitting out hurtful words that I had kept inside for months. "I get that you love her and that you've been using me. So stop playing around and say you want to stop whatever we're doing if you don't- view me as a lover. Because it's sickening, and it hurts. Do you understand me?"

Desthbringer looked at me, expressionless. "I'm sorry. I- I was trying my best. I understand. Do you want me to get out of the car?"

He didn't say he'll do better.

He didn't say that I was wrong, that he loved me, that he didn't see Glory as more than a friend.

The most hurtful thing about rejecting someone is when what you tell them, what you spit out trying to hurt them, is true.

"Did you even care for me?" I said as he got out of the car. "Was this all in my head?"

"I'm sorry, Greatness." Those three words was all he said.

They say when you break up with a person, you cry for days, feeling the emptiness. They say you try to beg them to come back.

But maybe what they say is wrong. Because I didn't even cry. My feelings for him disappeared the moment he went out of the car, walking away from me, walking towards Glory.

Breakups. They weren't filled with tears. It was like I was trying to hold a broken string together, a string thst was getting further and further away, and finally letting go. The moment I did let go, Deathbringer just walked away. Flew out of my arms into the thing he was destined to be with. Because I was the only thing was keeping them from each other.

It just hurt for a little while. And then it was over.