#76: That Thing (Takes place after "Bros Before Dinos")

Dipper had decided to start his own paranormal show after finding an old camcorder they had found in the dusty corner of the attic. It has a surprisingly full memory, with no videos in the storage, so that was Dipper's cue to record all of his investigations.

He wanted Y/n to come along with him and include her as some sort of 'co-host' and Y/n was honestly honored, but she preferred to be behind the scenes and hold the camera instead of talking in front of it. lol

So the two started preparing the set to look like one of those TV shows with title screens and props surrounding the host, but the only props they could afford were old cardboard and a sharpie. The main title was "Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained," as Y/n insisted that her name wasn't necessary. Dipper was a little upset, so he made every effort to include her in his videos.

As he sat in the chair, the cardboard was placed on the table behind him. His vest and hat were discarded because he was supposed to be in his pajamas. They had to keep their voices as low as possible because Mabel was already asleep. Y/n positioned the camera to face Dipper, who sat holding a basket of something.

"Are we ready?" He asked.

"Yep. Looking good," Y/n nodded. "Recording in five, four, three, two..." she nodded in his direction and Dipper took the cue to begin his introduction.

"Welcome, to one of the many episodes of Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained," he spoke. "Gravity Falls is a strange town filled with wonder never before seen, and I'm here to take you all to a trip full of unsolved mysteries and weird anomalies. We might encounter dangerous monsters or scary ghosts, but today we're analyzing this specific case for the unexplained. Behold,"

Dipper lifted a chicken strip from the basket that he was holding, but it was no ordinary chicken strip.

"A Möbius Chicken Strip," he named.

Y/n remained behind the camera throughout the episode as she and Dipper discussed the Möbius strip and how the chicken could form this shape. The video consisted of eating crunchy chicken while questioning its existence. Y/n wasn't lying when the chicken tasted infinitely delicious - she loves bad jokes.

It lasted for about 15 minutes until it had to come to an end. Dipper adjusted his seating position and faced the camera again. "Well, that concludes Gravity Falls anomaly #13: The Möbius Chicken Strip," he ate a piece as he smiled. Y/n couldn't help but chuckle at his expression, the camera slightly shaking. "It's infinitely delicious!"

A strange creature screamed as it ran between her and Dipper. It slithered around Y/n's legs, causing her to drop the camcorder, but she caught it at the last second. Dipper dropped the bucket of chicken strips by accident. "Woah, hey!"

A small beast with hairy skin was still screeching around as it circled around her ankles until it pushed her away and she eventually fell to her butt. "What the heck!?" Y/n exclaimed as she watched it scamper away.

The room was a complete mess already but the critter didn't seem to care, retreating to a random corner and eating the twins' pile of candy. It was a miracle that Mabel didn't wake up despite the ruckus going on. "Oh no," Dipper said, burrowing his hands on his brown hair. "It's eating our leftover Summerween candy!"

"WHAT?!"

Screams from Mabel were heard as she finally sat up and got out of her bed. The beast was still munching on candy with the wrappers still on. "Ew, it's like ... a naked little man." Mabel commented. Dipper urged Y/n to keep recording as he was quickly writing on a new blank cardboard.

While the camera was still facing the eating critter, Dipper held the cardboard close to the lens as he spoke. "Uh, this is now Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained #76: That Thing."

It was still in the attic, wreaking havoc, so they had no choice but to capture it. Dipper was suited up into action, protecting himself with a bunch of Mabel's stuffed toys with a golf club as his weapon and a trash bin as a trap.

Y/n zoomed in on Dipper's determined look with narrowed eyes. "Get this on tape in case I die or whatever."

She rolled her eyes. So dramatic.

The camera followed him as he slowly approached the creature from the other side while it was still busy eating candies. It quickly noticed Dipper coming closer, regarding his movements. They walked in a circle, staring each other down.

Dipper used the golf club to scoop a small pile of candy as if luring the beast closer. The thing watched and as expected, took the bait, biting down. Dipper brought down the trash can, but the creature was unfortunately faster.

It began climbing up one of the wooden columns until it reached the ceiling. Mabel shouted, throwing one of her stuffed animals. "Oh! Die, mutant! Die!"

The creature crawled and crawled until it went through the open doors of the twins' room and downstairs. The trio followed its path until they reached the living room. "Save the candy!"

Y/n pointed the camera at Dipper standing in the middle of the room. "Where is it? Have you seen it?"

Mabel and Y/n watched as the thing jumped down and attacked Dipper's face. Mabel jumped into the scene and tried to punch it away, and the creature let go, screaming at her and waddling away towards the kitchen. Y/n tried following as she watched it climb up the fridge with the stash of candies.

She was just honestly amused at the creature munching on different things. He just looked like a very weird specimen who liked to eat. Dipper and Mabel came in the room and the monster, sensing that they were stepping closer, immediately threw food at them.

Dipper shielded himself from the projectiles with his arm, as Mabel opened her mouth to catch the candies. "Dipper, open your mouth!" Mabel said while chewing. "Try to catch the candy in your mouth! He's wasting it!"

"What? No! Why would I-"

An unwrapped piece of sweet fell in the middle of his teeth and Dipper stopped to nibble on it. "Mmm. Actually that's pretty good-"

He was cut off as he got smacked by a chocolate bar in his face. The thing jumped down, wriggling back to the living room as Mabel failed to catch it. Y/n followed it as she kept recording its movements with a huge smile on her face. This felt like advance journaling for her.

While staggering on the floor, one of its feet landed on the remote laying on the ground, turning the TV on. The creature huffed, hearing the sounds from the TV. His eyes stayed glued to the show that was premiering, his attention undivided.

"Oh wow," Y/n said, " Now he's hypnotized by the TV."

Dipper walked in as the creature sat back in the yellow chair. "Ha! And he dropped the candy." He stepped around and stood beside the mesmerized beast. "What a little dummy, glued to the..." Dipper trailed off. "To the..." he paused. "Oh, I love this movie."

"What are they showing?" Mabel asked, picking up the littered candies.

It was the rerun of The Fear Guy from Terror Town Street from channel 7 tonight. Mabel and Dipper sat together in the chair while the thing sat on the chair's arm, eating golf clubs. Y/n sat on the ground beside the pile of candies, tossing the twins if they wanted a specific piece and vice versa. Every loser candy was handed to Y/n and she didn't know if she should be offended, but she's not going to complain since it's her favorite ones from the bag.

The four of them quietly watched the movie as they munched on candies. "Shouldn't we... do something about the monster?"

"Candy now. Monster later." Mabel said without moving her eyes away from the TV.

Soos eventually walked in the room, stupidly mistaking the monster for Grunkle Stan.

#23: Stan's Tattoo (Takes place after "Exchanging Bosses and Bodies")

He didn't see it the first time, but after a few days and he heard a camera snap from behind him again, he knew that he was secretly being photographed.

Could it be a private investigator trying to get some dirt out of him? Or did the government finally got a hold out of him?

Alas, when Stan finally turned around, he saw his nephew standing behind the doorway with a camera in his hand snapping pictures of... him? He narrowed his eyes as the tween scrambled away. What was he getting suspicious of this time? Instead of dwelling on it further, Stan drank the rest of his Pitt Cola and stood up, retreating back to his room.

Dipper stared at his cork board full of pinned photos and notes. On top of the board was a ripped paper with "Stan's Tattoo" written on it. He couldn't find Y/n anywhere so he had Mabel to hold the camera this time. He had no idea where the girl could've gone considering it was only their second episode and she wouldn't be able to make an appearance, but Dipper couldn't wait longer to record.

"Okay, Mabel, I'm ready," he told his sister.

Mabel presented a thumbs up as she pressed the red button on the camcorder. Dipper stood beside the cork board, smiling. Mabel grinned, beginning to push her forefinger and thumb together in front of Dipper's head "Hello, I'm Dipper Pines. The girl trying to crush my head is Mabel."

"His partner isn't here so I'm helping!" she said from behind the camera, failing to notice the way Dipper blushed when he heard her say 'his partner'.

"Okay, that's- that's enough," he shooed her hand away before talking in a serious tone. Today we investigate Anomaly #23,Grunkle Stan's secret tattoo." He raised a flat cardboard with the same writing. Mabel then pointed at the board full of evidence.

"What is he hiding? A college prank? Secret symbol? Or something stranger?" Dipper questioned out loud. "Stan claims it doesn't exist, but today we're gonna find out."

The day proceeded as normal as Dipper tried to be while relaying the plans he had for Stan to reveal the secret markings behind his back. Y/n was still nowhere to be found but he placed that worrisome thought at the back of his head as the recording started again. Mabel held the camera, pointing directly at Dipper and Soos standing besides the Shack's thermostat.

"Okay, here's the plan. Stan never takes off his undershirt-" Dipper got closer to the camera, "obviously to hide his tattoo," he whispered before going back. "But me and Soos are about to turn up the heat on this mystery."

Dipper grinned, raising the temperature on the thermostat. Soos chuckled at the younger boy's pun. "Heh, literally! I love how you come up with stuff like that!"

Despite Soos' efforts to convince Stan to 'take off their clothes' to battle against the heat while they were working, Stan wasn't buying it, walking away to 'find a melon baller or something to pluck his eyes out' instead.

Hours passed by. It was a slow day, it seemed, as there weren't many customers around- actually, there weren't any tourists at all (it happens), so Dipper caught Stan lounging in the living room with just his undershirt. He figured it was the perfect time to initiate plan B as he readied his camcorder.

Dipper started recording and subtly faced it towards Stan. "Heavens! Is that poison oak on your shoulder? Let me scratch it for you." He reached for his tattoo, but Stan smacked it away without even looking at him.

"Kid, if you're trying to see my tattoo, you're gonna have to try harder than that."

"A-ha!" Dipper said, "I thought you said you didn't have a tattoo!"

"I don't. But you do," Stan replied, taking out a red marker and began leaning towards Dipper.

"What do you mean I- AAAHH!"

Dipper didn't have the chance to step away as Stan managed to write 'GOOBER' on his forehead near his birthmark. He tried so hard to wipe it away but the permanent ink wouldn't budge. TIme passed by once more when he heard sounds coming from their bathroom. Bathing noises and a deep, grunkle-y voice singing "du-du" jingles had Dipper deduct that it was no other than Stan who was using the bathroom at this time.

So he had Mabel hold the camera once more and didn't even adjust his bangs back when he pressed the button. "Okay, Plan C. Stan is in the shower. I wish it hadn't come to this, but sometimes you have to do terrible things for science."

"I believe in you, Goober!" Mabel said in the background.

He blinked. "Dipper. Just say Dipper." He took the camera from her and pointed the lens at the door of the bathroom, nerves in his veins. He was trudging ever so slowly towards inevitable terror and agony. Who knows what he might stumble into once he opens the gateway? With a deep breath, he pushed the plank open and walked inside. Here goes nothing.

Fog from the shower greeted him inside, and water was still pouring. He faced the shower curtain and eventually pulled it to the side, ready to take a peek.

The curtains were swept aside, and there stood Stan, fully clothed with the water running down his back, and a very angry look on his face. "You're never gonna see it, kid," he seethed. "Never. Gonna. See it."

"How long have you been standing there?"

Stan lunged forward. "Give me that camera-!"

"AAAH!"

Stan jumped out of the tub and scrambled towards Dipper as he burst out of the restroom. The boy dashed around every corner, hoping to lose the older man, but it was a small Shack. Dipper tried to rack his brain for possible hiding places while still being pursued before his brain came up with an idea.

"Give me that camera, Dipper!"

"Eek!"When he saw Stan trying to corner him, he bolted in the opposite direction. While Mabel tried to distract her great uncle, Dipper relied on his little feet to get him to the gift shop as quickly as possible. He nodded gratefully at his sister's assistance before locating the familiar ladder leading to the roof. He climbed the ladder quickly after putting the camcorder in his pocket.

He opened the hatch expecting to be alone, but there sat Y/n, with a book on her lap and a surprised expression when she saw Dipper.

"What-"

Dipper reached out and shook his hands, signaling her to be quiet. He pointed down with his finger to his lips.

"What happened?" She mouthed.

Before he could explain, a voice shouted, "I'M GONNA FIND YOU, KID!"

Y/n nodded as if she understood. Dipper might've done something to piss Stan off and he's currently trying to escape his wrath. He caught her eyes and speechlessly gave her a look as if saying 'mind if I stay here?' and she nodded again, going back to her reading.

That was until the pursuer himself was outside of the Shack and was waving his hands for her attention. "Hey, Y/n!"

She looked over the roof and saw Stan. "Yeah?!" She shouted back.

"Have you seen him?"

"Who?" She answered back as casually as she could while Dipper was trying to minimize himself as small as possible. Luckily, from the angle they were on, the older man was able to only see Y/n and not him, but he was still trying not to be seen.

"Dipper! Have you seen him?!" He shouted back.

She shrugged. "I don't know, I haven't seen anyone the whole day!"

Stan narrowed his eyes at her, but Y/n was confident that he'll believe her, because it was an honest answer. She hadn't seen anyone since she was downstairs for the entire afternoon- until now.

The older man let it go and walked back inside. Dipper figured that the coast was clear and let himself loose. "Thanks."

"No problem, Goober."

***

PDQB RI BRX ZLOO ODVW.
🗝: caesar

author's note:
welcome to shorts! i want u guys to really use your brain in this one. i've hidden really good clues and i would like the participation <3 i love u guys always