Announcer's Voice: "Ha ha, I cannot believe it! People really hate you, Dipper."

Dipper: (Sighs) "I know."

Announcer's Voice: "I mean, really! 3 out of 5 dares have been for you, and one of the dares that wasn't for you was meant to torture you! Seriously, you are not popular, my friend."

Dipper: (Sighs) "I know."

Announcer's Voice: "And there hasn't been one single thing for Mabel! Ha ha, girl, people love you! You'll never have to do anything stupid!"

Mabel: (Sighs) "I know."

Announcer's Voice: "Oh, that's beautiful. Anyways, sqircalqueen1234 dared,
"I dare Dipper to flirt with every girl he sees other than Mabel."

Dipper: (Sighs) "I hate my life."

Announcer's Voice: "They know. They obviously don't care, but they know. Hey, look! Who could that be?"

Wendy: (Walks towards Dipper) "Hey, Dipper. What's up?"

Dipper: "Um, uh, your house! Because you look like you fell out of the sky."

Wendy: (Wonders whether this is a compliment or an insult) "Okaaaaay, that's weird." (Walks away)

Dipper: "Well, I just lost one friend."

Grenda: (Notices Dipper) "Oh, hey, Dipper! Have you seen Mabel?"

Mabel: (Just teleported behind a tree) "I'm never allowed to have any fun."

Dipper: (Grimaces) "Well, um, no. But, uh, maybe you don't need Mabel. Maybe destiny brought you here, to me, for a reason."

Grenda: (Thinks for a moment) "Hmm... no, I think I just came here to ask where Mabel was."

Announcer's Voice: (In Dipper's mind) "C'mon, kid! Put on a show!"

Dipper: "No, Grenda. Don't you see? The stars shine only for us, and we must embrace them! You see? It is written on our hearts!"

Grenda: "Hmm... Mabel did say you were a freak." (Walks away)

Dipper: (Grumbling) "Of course she did." (Notices Pacifica standing not far away.) "Oh, no. She'd have me beheaded! She'd blast me off the face of the Earth and show it on live television!"

Announcer's Voice: "And then someone else will dare you to do something else stupid and you'll grow a new head so that you can do that!"

Dipper: (Sighs) "I suffer a fate worse than death." (Approaches Pacifica)

Pacifica: "Oh, hi, Dipp- I mean, oh, you're here. I don't really care."

Dipper: "Um. Pacifica?"

Pacifica: "What?"

Dipper: "Has anyone ever told you what lovely... uh... ears you have?"

Pacifica: "Um, no..."

Dipper: "Okay. They're, um, round. And... round. Very round."

Pacifica: "Uh, has some nerdy experiment gone wrong? Or are you trying to... flirt?"

Dipper: "Well, er, you see, I... ears. Round ears." (Nods)

Pacifica: "Um, alright. Probably some nerdy magic stuff." (Walks away)

Announcer's Voice: (Mocking) "Ears."

Dipper: "You're just jealous that you don't have any. You don't even have a face."

Announcer's Voice: "Are you... insulting me?"

Dipper: "I have a lot of anger stored up, thanks to this evil game. Might as well take it out on a faceless jerk."

Announcer's Voice: "Oh, now you've gone too far." (Awkward silence)

Female Announcer's Voice: "Oh, Diiiiiiipper..."

Dipper: (Pales) "I am not flirting with you. Plus, I have to flirt with every girl I see, and I can't see you."

Female Announcer's Voice: "Wrong thing to say, Dipper..." (Dipper's phone rings. He nervously pulls it out and sees Giffiny's face.)

Female Announcer/Giffiny: "There we go. Now, you had something to say...?"

Dipper: (In pure agony) "Uh, Giffiny... you have nice... hair. I like the... uh... pinkness."

Female Announcer/Giffiny: (Giggles) "Oh, you're so sweet."

Dipper: "And, er, you have a nice choice of... robotic animals. You made a lovely squirrel, or whatever you were."

Female Announcer/Giffiny: "Why, thank you."

Dipper: "And you have a nice... choice in men. Like Soos."

Female Announcer/Giffiny: "And?"

Dipper: (Smiles) "And you very conveniently have an off button." (Turns off his phone)

*Mystery Shack in Truth Or Falls*

Soos: "Ha ha, dude, I totally, like, just stepped on that chip. But..." (Leans down and eats it ) "5 year rule! Dude, I hope that was only 5 years old..." (Continues cleaning as the news anchor on TV's eyes turn red )

News Lady/Giffiny/Announcer/Female Announcer: "Oops, bad move. Now I, or we, or whatever have an identity crisis." (News Lady's face flashes in and out, being occasionally replaced by Giffiny's.)

Soos: (Notices the glitch) "Dude, that is so messed up! Ha ha." (Unplugs TV)

Announcer's Voice: "Dang it, that failed epically."

Dipper: (Basks in glorious victory)