It happened again.

Hiccup lay in bed, his eyes shut and his body heavy against the mattress. He could hear Astrid's breathing beside him and could tell that the sun wasn't even out yet. His heart was beating loudly in his ears and he could feel the sweat on his body.

Gods, over ten years and he still couldn't escape. If it wasn't watching Dagur's body crash into the rocks below or horrible scenarios involving the twins' sudden deaths or abandonment, it was this. The same nightmare he had hidden for years.

But was it really a nightmare if it involved dark pieces of his life? Or was it living through one of his worst memories over and over again? Either way, it seemed to be a pattern for his family. The sort of thing he'd find almost humorous if he had no compassion whatsoever.

Then again, how could any person with a heart not have nightmares after that?

As he rolled over and tried to eradicate the image from his mind (not an easy task when he'd been thinking about it off and on for weeks), he jumped at a loud noise emanating from the front door.

BWAM BWAM BWAM!

Hiccup slowly rolled himself out of bed, rubbing his eyes and yawning widely. There were some days when he wished his father were still chief so that he could go an entire week without having to get up early or rush through breakfast.

BWAM BWAM!

"I'm coming!" Hiccup called in a strangled sort of voice. He put a slipper on his remaining foot and descended the staircase. "Now what-"

He had opened the door to come face to face with Gobber. For a man in his sixties with only one hand, he could make quite a racket.

"What's up?" he asked, rubbing his eyes again to try to wake himself up some more.

"The forge has been ransacked!" Gobber bellowed with no consideration for the sleeping Haddocks upstairs. "Never seen it this bad before and that's including when dragons were raiding the village a few times a month."

"Another one?" Hiccup sighed. "Okay, give me a minute to change."

He turned and pounded up the stairs, his prosthetic making a loud clunking sound every other step. Finn and Adrianna, both looking half asleep, poked their heads out from behind their bedroom doors.

"What's going on?" asked Finn through a yawn.

"Forge was ransacked." Hiccup replied. "Go back to bed, I've got this."

"No, that's my job." Finn exclaimed as Adrianna shut her bedroom door, apparently satisfied with the explanation and in no mood to awake this early. "Give me a second."

"Finn, it's probably three in the morning. I don't even know why Gobber's awake." Hiccup said exasperatedly. "I will fill you in on what happened, I promise, but you need sleep."

Finn made a grumbling noise but, for once, complied without complaint. He must have been really tired, Hiccup reasoned.

Once his clothes were on, Hiccup descended the stairs and made his way to the forge, Gobber hobbling beside him.

"I was just up to go to the outhouse and when I walked through the shop, I nearly fell over and broke my neck!" Gobber exclaimed. "Place is completely trashed! And that's dangerous, what with all the weapons out and about! I could'a been killed!"

"Well it's not dragons and it's not weather." Hiccup commented, looking up at the clear sky. "Which means it's people. My people." he added through gritted teeth.

"No idea who's doing it?" Gobber asked. "Think it's kids?"

"I don't want to believe it but yeah, that's probably the most logical explanation." Hiccup sighed again as the forge came into view. "They've been laying low. I'm not sure whether or not I should be glad they were sensible enough not to strike right after the raid."

"I'm not sure sensible is the right word to use for a group of troublemakers." Gobber said darkly. "They make the Thorston twins look tame. How's anyone supposed to make a living?"

"We'll figure out who's doing it." Hiccup assured him. "Meanwhile, let's see if we can find any clues."

He pushed open the door of the forge and stared around. Everything was turned upside down. All of the drawers were on the floor, their contents scattered about. Weapons were all over the walls and the ground. There was almost no walking room at all and Hiccup was beginning to think it was a miracle Gobber had gotten through this mess without killing himself.

"Finn won't be happy." Gobber said as he kicked a small pile of what looked like some of Hiccup's old catapult designs. "Instead of getting anything done, he's got clean up duty."

"No kidding." Hiccup waded through the mess, keeping his eyes fixed on his remaining foot. "They were thorough. It doesn't look like they left anything behind. At least not that we can find in this wreck."

As he and Gobber cleared a path to prevent future injuries, Hiccup's mind began to work overtime to try to figure out who could be behind the destruction. More importantly, why was this even happening? Was it an act of rebellion against his policies? Did they have anything against Hoark's, Mulch and Bucket's, or the forge? A thought was beginning to creep into Hiccup's mind, one he direly wanted to push down. But was it too easy to assume such things?

These questions echoed through Hiccup's mind until dawn. By the time he got home, he had a pounding headache. The rare days in which he really hated his job were getting far too frequent for comfort.

Xxx

Erick was running as fast as he could toward the leather shop, throwing his satchel on his shoulder. He'd overslept again and if he wasn't careful, he'd lose his job. As he pelted toward the front door, a dark figure stepped in front of him, causing him to nearly knock it over.

"Woah, slow down!" Magnus exclaimed, an amused smile on her lips. "You'll wear yourself out."

"You're not late to work." Erick panted, wiping sweat off his brow.

"As if being a mother isn't a full time job." Magnus rolled her eyes and cuffed her little brother on the head, making him smile. "Listen, I need a favor."

"Depends on what it is. I'm not taking out your trash again." Erick said, crossing his arms and looking rather defiant for a kid two inches shorter than his sister.

"Would I do that to you?" Magnus cocked her head to the side and flashed him a deceptively innocent smile.

"Yes." said Erick flatly.

"Now now, no need to be suspicious." Magnus laughed. "I just need you to pick up Garrett and Lalla from Ella's at three."

"Oh? I thought Ella watches them all day." Erick hitched his satchel up his shoulder and gazed anxiously at the leather shop door.

"She's got other appointments today." Magnus explained. "I told her she could get off at three but to do that, I need to you come and get them then."

"Okay. I can do that." Erick grinned widely; he adored his niece and nephew.

"You are a lifesaver." Magnus swooped down and kissed his forehead. "But it's very important that you come at three. What time did I tell you to come?"

"Mags-"

"What time?"

Erick mock sighed. "Three."

"Good boy." Magnus giggled at the look of irritation on her brother's face.

"Motherhood is getting to you." Erick deadpanned.

"Best job in the world. Just you wait until you have kids of your own." Magnus waved cheerfully as she walked away. "See you this evening!"

"Okay see you!" Erick waved back and bolted to the front door, throwing it open. "Horst, I'm so sorry, I-"

The youngest Larson stopped and stared. There, standing in front of Horst, was a curly haired boy not much younger than himself. The boy was familiar, Erick knew him by sight, but it was the leather belt he was wearing that made Erick pause. The same leather belt he and Horst wore.

"It's all right, Erick." Horst said cheerfully. "You're only two minutes late."

"Yeah, we'd have had to punish you severely if it was five minutes but you're safe." the boy added with a cheesy grin. "Darn, I was so looking forward to giving you forty lashes with a wet noodle."

"Erm..." Erick stared at the boy with wide eyes.

"Translation? Sorry but I don't speak Erm." the boy chirped.

Erick worked his jaw. "Is this a joke?"

"Nah, this is a joke: a Gronckle, Trader Johann, and Hiccup Horrendous Haddock II walk into a bar-"

"Who are you?" Erick interrupted.

"Me?" the boy deflated slightly at the abrupt end to what was clearly going to be a very long story. "Cliff Smedley, leather shop extraordinaire." he held out his hand.

"Excuse me?" Erick narrowed his eyes at Horst.

"Well, I will be. Gotta learn from the best of the best. Teach me your ways, oh wise elder." Cliff mock bowed to Erick.

"Uhh... what?"

"Oh, should I call you Commander? I'll be the second in command-"

"Horst, what's going on?" Erick blurted out, restraining himself from punching the other teen in the face.

"Ahh..." Horst nervously laid a hand on Cliff's shoulder. "Cliff, familiarize yourself with the tools and things. We'll be right back."

"Okay. break a leg!"

"Only if it's yours." Erick mumbled as he and Horst walked into the other room. "Okay who is that joker and are you serious about hiring him?"

"Cliff's a bright kid. I think you two will get along fine once you're used to each other." Horst patted Erick on the back in a fatherly manner. "He's not replacing you, if that's what you're worried about."

"How convenient." Erick grumbled. "I'm more worried about having my ear chewed off."

"Listen," Horst bent down a bit to be on Erick's level, "a lot of orders have been flooding in. We're swamped. We need more help."

"So your solution is to find the most annoying guy on Berk and lock him up with us for eight hours a day?" Erick huffed.

"I think you could use a little lighthearted banter."

"Horst, I'm fine-"

"Now don't argue, you know that's not entirely true." Horst raised an eyebrow. "You and I both know you need a little humor."

"Humor?" Erick scoffed. "Oh I'm sorry if I'm not exactly the bright and morning star of the leather shop anymore Horst, but you seem to have taken care of that lickety-split!"

Horst sighed. "Erick, we need the help and he needed a job. That's the real purpose. Please just try to humor him. He's a talker but I know you can be too."

"Yeah." Erick scowled. "When I have something to talk about."

"It's been quiet here." Horst put a hand on the boy's shoulder. "Depressing. I understand you're going through a lot. I think Cliff can help. And if he is too annoying, I'll find someone else to take him. Just deal with him for a few weeks, okay?"

"Oh... fine." Erick hissed through his teeth.

"There you go." Horst led him back to the main room, smiling fondly. "I think you'll warm up to him."

"I think I'll break his nose."

Horst laughed and pushed open the door to the room, where Cliff was staring intently at one of Erick's tools. He grinned widely at the pair when they entered.

"There you are! I was afraid you slipped out the back way and left me alone with all your work. Not cool, bruh."

"I'm not your... bruh." Erick snapped.

"Nope, you're not. At least not yet." Cliff threw an arm around Erick and gestured grandly. "But you will be. I promise you that."

Erick thought darkly that he would sooner chop off his own foot than have any sort of familial relationship with such an annoying person.

Xxx

Adrianna didn't get out of bed the moment she awoke. She lay back, tapping her fingers against her stomach and staring into the ceiling. The usual pictures began to form in the wood: the mint leaves in the left corner, the Gronckle with the long puffy skirt in the middle, and the star directly over her bed. She and Hiccup used to spend hours staring at them and other pictures they found all over the house. They would create little stories about them, stories that made them both laugh until they were red in the face. Adrianna liked those memories. She liked those carefree days before everything had gone horribly wrong.

Perhaps the most difficult thing about having such a horrible thing happen to her at such a young age was that she could scarcely remember life before the nightmares. She remembered the pictures in the ceiling and some of the stories, of course. She remembered her brother coming home coated in berry juice one day. She remembered seeing Erick's face across the crowded Great Hall and the little smile he'd given her the second time their eyes met. Everyone talked about how she had been this sweet little angel running around and charming everyone she had met, how she had loved life and lived it to the fullest, how she had spent full days following her daddy around and watching him at the forge and with the villagers. According to the stories they told, everyone had loved her back then.

It seemed like another lifetime. Pieces of those memories flitted through Adrianna's mind as she lay there in the still silence of the Haddock house. She thought of her father and the sad eyes he gave her when he thought she wasn't watching him. He missed that cheerful little girl most of all. The one who had fallen asleep in his arms as they cuddled by the fire and who could convince anyone to have a tea party with her, even the strongest and manliest Vikings. Sometimes she thought he loved that girl more than the broken one who had replaced her. Her mother seemed to have come to terms with Adrianna's more subdued personality but her father never could. She had broken his heart and, perhaps, continued to do so every moment she wasn't the adorable child he had loved so much.

Both she and her father had a tendency to sleep late if they had the opportunity so she knew he too was probably waking up now. She had a job that evening but that was hours away. She was briefly tempted to read until then but she felt the strong desire to get up and get dressed. She threw on a blue shirt and black pants and was braiding her hair as she went downstairs.

"Morning." she said to no one in particular as she got to the bottom of the staircase.

"Says who?" her father asked with a hint of amusement in his tone. "It's just after noon."

"Oh." Adrianna shrugged. "Afternoon then."

She looked up and was a bit surprised to realize that she and her father were the only ones in the house at the moment. Feeling distinctly sheepish, she didn't want to stick around for awkward conversations with her dad but she was hungry and in no mood to join the crowd in the Great Hall.

"You okay?" he asked after she had stared at him with wide eyes for a few seconds.

"Hm? Oh, yeah." she fastened her braid and shook her head. "Sorry, just thinking."

"About?"

"A lot of stuff." Adrianna shrugged. "Girl stuff."

"Oh really?" Hiccup raised an eyebrow.

Toothless, who had been half asleep next to his human, rose to his feet and sauntered over to Adrianna, sniffing her suspiciously.

"Toothless, stop that. She's not a fish that you can just size up before eating." Hiccup told his dragon, earning himself a smack in the leg.

"Well technically, I am a Haddock." Adrianna pointed out with a sly smile.

"Hehehe." Hiccup fake laughed. "You're hilarious. You should go on the road with that act."

"Maybe I will. Oy!" Adrianna pushed Toothless's head away. "Come on, Toothless, you know that area's off limits."

"Stop getting in her personal space, Bud." Hiccup rose to his feet and patted his dragon's head.

Toothless snorted at the two of them and moved his nose to Adrianna's right pocket. She reached in and took out a piece of very stale bread.

"Forgot this was in there." she said with slight amusement. "Guess it's time to do laundry."

"You think?" Hiccup rolled his eyes. "Do you really want that, Toothless?"

Adrianna tossed it in the air and Toothless enthusiastically caught it. He looked rather pleased with himself when he settled back down next to Hiccup. The Haddock girl opened the cupboard and got herself a fresh loaf for breakfast.

"So what's on your mind?" Hiccup asked as she sat down on his right side.

What was on her mind? A lot of things, if she had to be honest. But something was nagging her. Something she knew to be important.

"Well..." she paused. Was she really going to say this? "Saturday's almost here."

"Uh huh..." Hiccup stretched out the sound, indicating that he wanted a bit of elaboration.

"Well it's the third." she said timidly. "So the one after that is the fourth."

Hiccup's head perked up a bit. "And?"

"We used to do stuff on the fourth Saturday." Adrianna shrugged. "I mean, we don't have to on this one but-"

"Are you asking what I think you're asking?" Hiccup raised his eyebrows.

"I think." Adrianna cleared her throat. "Do you want to do something? I mean it's okay if you don't."

"Adrianna, I would love to." Hiccup grinned widely. "What brought this on?"

"Thinking, I guess." the girl smiled timidly at her father before hopping from her spot at the table. "I should get to the library though." she mock saluted him with what was left of her bread and walked to the door.

"Hey, Adrianna?" Hiccup called. She turned around. "Love you."

"Yeah." Adrianna replied with the same timid smile as before. "You too."

And with that, she nearly threw herself from the house and into the summer sun.

Xxx

It was as if Cliff was making up for years of being mute. From the moment he and Erick began working together, the boy chattered about everything under the sun. Erick was beginning to feel like jumping out the window by the time the afternoon rolled around. Just as he was about to shout that he wanted just one second of peace and quiet, the boy suddenly stopped talking. Erick breathed a sigh of relief.

"Ahem." came a familiar voice in the doorway.

Erick jumped, startled more by the voice than the sudden noise. He spun around on his chair and found himself staring into a pair of cold blue eyes.

"Oh..."

Taryn frowned and her eyes flashed again. "Oh? That's all you have to say to me after three weeks?"

Erick flinched. It's been that long? "I-I'm sor-"

"Outside. Now." Taryn bit out before stomping out the door.

Erick set down his tool with a weary sigh and followed. He pretended not to notice Cliff's concerned, fearful glance.

Taryn stopped outside at the edge of the shop. "So where have you been?"

"U-um..." Erick stutters. "Here? And home?"

"And you couldn't spare at least five minutes during the day at least once to come check on your girlfriend? You couldn't even ask me how my knee was doing?"

Erick mentally slapped himself. He'd forgotten than she'd been hurt it in the explosion; how could he be so dense? "I'm sorry-"

"Sorry? I don't think you are Erick-"

"I am! I'm a terrible person!"

"No! You're a terrible boyfriend!" Taryn sighed, rubbing her face. Her anger dissipated and he nearly flinched at the sight of her eyes filling with tears. "I-I... Erick... Sometimes bad things happen and they aren't easy for anyone." She stared at him with watery, angry eyes. "But it's always a bit easier when those closest to you are there to help you get through it!"

Erick nodded numbly. "I-"

"If it was just Aud, I would've been there for you. I'd like to hope that if it was just Curt then you would've been there for me. It's worse that we both lost siblings that night, but the fact that you haven't even shown up to ask how I'm doing in three weeks? I mean the first week I obviously needed time myself and figured you did too. The second week I assumed and hoped by the end you would. It's now the end of the third week and I prayed that surely you'd think of me at least once and stop by! Or heck, at least send me a note!" Taryn shook her head, tears flowing down her face now. "And you didn't. I had to come find you."

Erick hated seeing her like this, but he finally felt a bud of courage to stand up for himself. "Sooo what? You expected me to come to you all this time? You never found me! You act like I screwed up and didn't show any initiative and it doesn't look like you did until now either!"

"I was doing what my parents thought was best, Erick. Unlike you, my parents-" Taryn cut herself off before she could continue.

Erick's heart lurched. "What?"

"N-nothing."

"No, what? My parents are what?" Erick hissed. "Dead and what? Not perfect and selfless and kind and gentle, like yours?"

"Erick-"

"If you've got something to say to me Taryn, say it!" Taryn sighed quietly and stared at the ground whilst rubbing her forehead. Erick also looked away, trying to reign in his anger.

"I'm... I'm sorry, Erick. But I don't think this is going to work out."

Erick stared at her in shock, anger instantly gone. He felt like he couldn't breathe. "What? What do you mean?"

"Erick..." Taryn wet her lips and straightened her back, as if it would get the words out quicker. "How... How could we make a marriage work in hard times, hard times that will come, when we can't work together now?"

Erick felt like the air was being sucked out of his lungs. "Wait, y-you can't- you're breaking up with me?"

"I'm not trying to hurt you and I don't want to make things worse!" Taryn cried. "B-but I can't wait for you. I can't hold onto your anchor or else I'll drown. I... I have to find my own way to move on."

Tears stung Erick's eyes. "And what about me? Are you going to leave me to drown? Every man for himself?"

Taryn shook her head. "I-I want you to come to us if you need us. I don't want to be enemies. I still want to be your friend, as horrid as that sounds by comparison. But... I can't be your girlfriend anymore."

Erick swallowed hard and forced himself not to shake. I did this. Literally everything good is gone. He exhaled heavily and backed against the wall.

Taryn stepped forward. "Erick-"

"Just go. Please." Erick covered his face with a hand, effectively blocking her from view. "Go."

Two full breaths later, he heard her retreating footsteps and sniffles as she left. Erick felt his heart rate rise as the emotion bubbled inside his chest. He slid to the ground and gripped his hair, willing himself to relax. Tears still streamed down his face but he didn't have the urge to panic.

It was strange how inflicting a little pain could help someone focus.

Still, Taryn's words stung. He knew her family was more traditional—the man should take initiative and if he didn't, well, he wasn't effectively performing his duties as a leader. He honestly couldn't blame her for dumping him. How awful and heartless and utterly selfish could he be?

Aud wasn't the only one who'd died. Curt died also. His boat had bobbed in the waves beside hers, his pyre burned beside hers. Taryn's family stood beside his at the funeral. Yet the last three weeks all he seemed to do was wallow in his own grief and self-pity without thinking twice that his girlfriend might be going through the same exact thing.

And even worse was the fact that she admitted to waiting for him every day, and he never showed up. Even worse was the fact that she was an already timid, quiet girl who didn't like the spotlight and was fragile with things that bothered her. She liked having a hand to hold and a shoulder to cry on. He knew these things about her! Apparently he was too self-absorbed to care.

Erick buried his face in his knees until the sun seemed to blister the back of his neck. He didn't know how long he'd sat outside, but figured he should probably go back to work and try to get something accomplished.

He stood on wobbly feet and trudged over to a nearby water barrel. He splashed his face with the cold water, willing himself to calm down.

Pushing the leather shop door open, he dragged his feet past Horst and ignored Cliff when he walked into their workroom. The curly-haired teen gave him a concerned glance but said nothing (thankfully). If he had to put up with this chatter box right now, he would go insane.

The blond teen sat down on his stool and stared at the piles of leather on his desk. Papers, leather, needles and various tools were strewn across the table in front of him. He stared at them blankly, wondering just how much stress he could take before he snapped. He was literally like a worn piece of leather—it had some good use in the past for important things, but one day it was just going to snap.

"Hey," Cliff poked his shoulder. "You okay?"

Erick blinked hard, realizing with a frown that he'd been sitting for a while and hadn't done anything yet. He rubbed his eyes and gave the newbie a halfhearted shrug.

"Okay, well... Horst and I are ready to leave so-"

"Leave?" Erick asked in surprise.

"Yeah. You've been sitting there for over an hour."

Erick blinked. What? "Huh? I just-"

"Go home, Erick." Horst walked in with a concerned expression. "It's fine, we'll just make up for it tomorrow. Go home and get some rest, boys."

Ugh, home. Erick would rather spend the night here than go home. Maybe he could ask Gustav if he could crash in their barn loft, or Magnus-

Erick's heart lurched.

"Oh SHOOT!" Erick sprang from his chair and grabbed his satchel.

"What?" Cliff jerked backwards.

"I was supposed to pick up my niece and nephew at three!" Erick ran past them and tore into the late afternoon sun. He nearly plowed over an elderly couple taking a peaceful walk through the square. He dodged them and kept running.

Late afternoon... It had to be half past five! Ohhhh Magnus was going to kill him...

The doors to the babysitter's home were locked and the windows were dark. Erick sighed in agitation, knowing that meant the kids were probably already home with a very, very unhappy Mama Magnus.

His blond hair stuck to his forehead in sweaty clumps by the time he got to his sister and brother-in-law's house. He knocked on the door a few times as he panted, trying to catch his breath. The door opened to reveal Magnus, who had a scowl so deep only Thor himself could replicate it.

"Mags..." Erick puffed. "I am so, so sorry."

Magnus pursed her lips and stepped outside, closing the door firmly behind her. Erick visibly gulped and prepared for the worst (yet most deserved) lecture known to mankind.

"Where were you?"

"Work..."

"And did I not ask you specifically if you were able to pick them up?"

"Yes."

"And did you not very specifically say that it would be no problem?"

"Yes."

"Did I not express how very important it was that the kids get picked up so their babysitter could make it to her other appointments on time?"

"Yes..."

"Then WHY weren't you there?" Magnus cried out. "Because you were a no-show, Ella was over an hour late to her next babysitting appointment, which threw off those parents, and we had to leave our engagements an hour early to pick them up ourselves! What was so important at the leather shop that you didn't show up?"

Erick swallowed thickly. How was he going to explain that the last two hours of work he spent moping outside the shop and at his desk? "I..." Erick faltered. He couldn't just say he forgot. He'd remembered it until... until Taryn dumped him.

Magnus watched his face fall into that dark, morose expression. She frowned, calming her tone a bit. "What happened?"

Erick rubbed his hands across his face. "Um... T-Taryn..." He exhaled shakily. "Taryn broke up with me."

Sympathy crossed Magnus's face. She wrapped him into a hug and held him for a minute. "I'm sorry. Breakups aren't easy."

Erick tried to reign in his emotions, but was probably failing. "I-I can't do anything right anymore, Mags. I-I don't know what to do. I'm sorry."

Magnus's heart broke, but as much as she wanted to just hold him and tell him things were going to be okay, she knew she had to be the older sibling. She had to be firm and strong or else he'd never get back on his feet.

"Erick, look at me." It took a minute but he finally made eye contact. "Taryn did the right thing. You know that, don't you?"

Erick nodded. "I-I'm not good enough for her-"

"Honey, it's not like that, you're a great young man and she's a bright young woman," Magnus said as she held his face in her hands. "But... when tragedy hits like this, even the strongest married couples have to fight hard for things to be okay again. For a young couple who is still learned to trust each other, that's a lot of pressure. You guys got hit on both sides."

Erick sniffed. "I'm sorry I didn't show up today. I'll make it up to you next time, I promise."

Magnus bit her lip and exhaled. "Erick..."

"What?"

"I... I don't think..." Magnus sighed. "Greg and I talked... and we think it would be best if you... if you took a break from the kids."

Erick felt bile rise in the back of his throat. He blinked at her, unsure if he'd heard her correctly.

"Not permanently and not for a specific amount of time, but..." Magnus tried to explain. "Erick, we want to trust you with our children, but if we can't trust you to pick them up on time like today then what's to say something else won't happen? Something much worse?"

Tears burned in Erick's eyes. First Aud and Curt, then Taryn. Now his sister wouldn't allow him to see his niece and nephew? Literally the only pure light left in his crushingly lonely life was being taken away?

"Mags, what do you want me to do? I-I'll do whatever you want me to to make it up-"

"Erick. Erick, breathe. Breathe!" Magnus ordered.

Erick grabbed at his hair, trying to kill the rising panic. He whimpered pitifully when she tightened her grip on his forearms.

"This is why, Erick." Magnus said in a firm, gentle voice. "You're not stable-"

"Now you're calling me crazy?" Erick cried out, tears dripping down his face. "Just because I-I screwed up with your kids one time, purely accidental, suddenly I have mental problems?"

"Erick, I said you're not stable. Listen to yourself, honey, you can't even think straight." Magnus's eyes filled with tears at seeing her baby brother break down so easily. "Hey, come here."

Erick buried his face in her shoulder and cried. "Don't send me away, please. I can't do this, I can't do this alone."

"I know, Erick. You need help, someone to help you. But... but I can't risk my own children's safety. I know you'd never hurt Lalla or Garrett, never. But while you're struggling like this, Greg and I think it's better if we all take a few steps back. I know you'd never forgive yourself if you accidentally hurt them. This isn't just for their protection—it's also for yours, because we love you." Magnus kissed his cheek and hugged him tighter. "We love you, Erick. I still want to see you whenever we can. Just... not babysitting."

Erick felt dull and pointless. Literally every planted seed of goodness was officially replaced by the choking weeds of despair. Nothing else existed except the pain and anguish he felt inside. One more hit and he knew he was going to shatter.

Magnus pulled back and kissed his forehead. "I want you to go home, okay? Try not to fight with anyone, just... just try to stay positive. I know it's hard right now, but it will get better one day. I promise."

Erick stared at her blankly. "People have been saying that since dad died. It's only gotten worse, Magnus." With that, he turned and walked between the houses. Magnus watched him until he disappeared, wishing more than anything that she could take some of his pain.

Erick arrived at home just as the sun was setting for the night. Before walking through the front door, he wiped his face to clear it of any residual tears. The first thing he saw was his mother making dinner (only three portions, he noticed).

"You're late." Lara said coldly. "I told you to be back before sundown.

"The sun just set." Erick snipped before he could stop himself.

"Don't talk back to me, young man." Lara shook her head. "The sooner as you learn to take responsibility for your actions, the sooner I can start giving you more freedoms."

"Okay fine! I was late." Erick stomped toward the stairs in an attempt to get away before he could talk to anyone else. Lara beat him to the staircase, her arms crossed and her mouth in the thin lipped glare that sent a flicker of fear through his body. "What? What do you want now?"

"I am your mother." Lara huffed. "A little respect is in order."

"Since when?" Anger replaced the fear and in an instant, Erick was incensed. "What have you done to earn it? You're always treating me like a burden-"

"You... you dare..." Lara took a step toward him that sent the waves of fear back through him. "I gave birth to you on Snoggletog! I have sacrificed my time and energy to raise you, to provide for you, to cook for and clean up after you."

"Because you had to." Erick grumbled.

"Because I love you and want what's best for you!" Lara hissed through gritted teeth. "And you were not an easy child to love."

"Dad had no problem with that." Erick coldly replied, physically forcing himself not to shake with fear at his mother's glare.

"Oh I forgot, your father was perfect." Lara threw her hands up in exasperation. "I'll never compare to his incredible parenting skills, I am always the bad guy."

"He wasn't perfect but at least he cared." Erick took a step back despite himself. "You never did."

"Oh Erick..." Lara ran the palm of her hand down her face, looking suddenly miserable. "This is why we can't have a decent conversation. You're always pointing out what I did wrong."

"You did plenty-"

"And there you go, not taking responsibility for your actions." Lara sighed deeply. "I have tried but you insist on pushing back. We can't have a decent relationship when you blame all of your problems on me."

"Since when do you want one?" Erick asked in a low tone.

"You're my son. Of course I want one." Lara replied. "You don't have to sabotage your own happiness, Erick. It saddens me to see you do this to yourself."

"Why are you saying all this?" Erick shook his head, utterly confused at his mother's words. "I'm your mistake!"

"I never said you were my mistake!" Lara said emphatically. "Why would I?"

"Yes, you... you're always implying it!" Erick ran his fingers through his hair.

"And you always read too much into things." Lara shook her head again and walked toward the pot over the flames. "But I never said that and I would never imply such a thing."

Erick stood stock still, his mouth agape. He had no idea what was happening. Had he really been reading too much into his mother's words? Was he to blame for all of their issues? His mother had sacrificed a lot for him, this much was true. But was he blaming her for his own problems?

"I..." Erick's mind was spinning so much, he could barely get any words out.

"It's okay, Erick." Lara smiled at him. "I can forgive you if you show me that you can take responsibility for your actions and your problems instead of blaming them on others."

"So Aud was my fault too?" Erick mumbled.

Lara stared at him for a few seconds. "I understand that you tried to save her. But you didn't. It is what it is."

"So it is my fault." Erick said softly.

"You could have stopped her." Lara added something to the stew she was making as she spoke in a scarily calm voice. "But you're sorry. Aren't you?"

"Well... yeah."

"Then we don't have to talk about it." Lara smiled at him almost cheerfully.

"But... what if I want to talk about her?" the urge to cry began to rise through the youngest Larson before he could stop it. "What if it still hurts?"

"She's dead." Lara's smile faded. "But you aren't. The time for grieving has passed."

"But I'm not... I'm not done." Erick lip quivered but he fought to regain composure. "It hurts!"

"What's done is done." Lara snapped. "And I won't have you moping around and bringing us all down with you. We're done. Lighten up."

"But I'm not-"

"Erick!" Nikolas pounded down the stairs and immediately made a beeline for his mother, placing a comforting arm around her shoulders. "You're upsetting her. She lost her daughter! You don't have to keep bringing it up."

"She was your sister!" Erick shouted, tears finally pouring freely from his eyes.

"Stop crying!" Nikolas bellowed back. "How can you expect to become a man when you keep crying at the drop of a hat?"

"What's going on?" Mel came down the stairs and gaped at the three of them.

"He's upsetting her!" Nikolas told his wife.

"They're acting like Aud meant nothing to them!" Erick angrily wiped his face.

"Of course she did!" Lara said shakily. "That's why it hurts when you bring her up."

"And it hurts me that you're acting like my grief doesn't mean anything to you!" Erick felt a sob break through his throat on its own accord. "I miss her and all you do is-"

"Stop it!" Mel shrieked. "Stop fighting!"

"Go to your room." Lara growled at her son. "And you can forget about going to work tomorrow."

"Mom-"

"I said go!" Lara suddenly screamed.

Mel burst into tears. "Please don't fight." she wept.

"And now you're upsetting your sister-in-law." Lara pointed up the stairs. "You've done enough. Go to your room now!"

Erick pounded up the stairs to his bedroom and slammed the door behind him. He heard his mother shout something but he didn't care what it was. He didn't care about anything anymore. Grabbing his hair with his hands, he breathed heavily through his teeth but the tears refused to subside.

"Come on..." he muttered to himself, his jaw still clenched. "No... no! Stop it, stop it now!"

The tears continued force their way up, he could feel his breathing become shakier as his body succumbed to the waves of emotion overwhelming him. He looked up at his face in the mirror... and suddenly he stopped.

He'd never noticed just how much he looked like his late sister until now. She had the same wavy blond hair, the same nose, the same eye shape (though her eyes had been blue). As he focused on those similarities, he felt like he was staring into a window to the past. A window to better times... before everything had gone to hell. Another sob overwhelmed him again but this time, it came with an eruption of rage he didn't know his body could possess. Before he was aware of his own actions, his left fist slammed into the mirror. A loud shattering sound filled the silent room and the youngest Larson felt an explosion of sharp pains in his fingers and knuckles.

He swore under his breath when he realized just how much racket that had made but if his mother, brother, or sister-in-law heard it, they didn't say a thing. His eyes fell on his hand and widened when they took in the sheer amount of blood dripping from it. Instantly, he hurried over to his bedside table and opened the drawer containing a few spare bandages. He grasped them in his right hand and took them over to the shards of broken glass on the floor. Dozens of teal eyed reflections stared up at him.

It was when he was on his knees, his injured and open hand suspended just over a large shard of the mirror that the realization hit him. He had stopped crying. Even more surprising was that he didn't want to cry anymore. He watched the blood drip steadily from his fingers in fascination. Filthy blood he shared with the very people who hated him most. Drops were raining down on the shard, making a steady, almost soothing dripping sound as they landed.

Suddenly, it dawned on him. Something had to come out. He had been foolish to assume that crying would be the only release from the agony in his soul. He stared down at the blood splattered shard and, for a split second, saw Aud's face staring back at him. Mocking him for not rescuing her when he was mere inches away. He deserved to be punished for his failure.

Erick grasped the shard in his left hand and suspended it over his right wrist. This was for Aud.

Slit.

Blood immediately dribbled from the cut he had made. He watched its progress down his arm with fascination. He held up the shard again. This was for being a filthy, unlovable person who didn't deserve any of the blessings he had received over the years.

Slit.

This cut was deeper. Blood from his second cut mingled with the blood streaming from his first and soon both ran in red rivers down his arm. He hardly felt the pain anymore. What mattered was getting out that horrible, disgusting blood running through his veins.

Erick was consumed with a desire to rake his arm with the shard, to spill out the contents of his veins until there was nothing left. He needed to cut out the Larson blood he shared with the dead he had loved and the living he did not. He knew what he needed to do now.

He needed to be punished.

He needed to cut.

He needed to bleed.

Slit.