After the World - disciple

As Hope and Ethan approached his truck, Ethan grabbed her hand and brought them to a hault.

"I just wanted to tell you I'm really glad you came up here this summer. I had pretty much given up on any chance to get to know you, so it's been nice to be able to after all."

Hope gave him a blushing smile, "I feel exactly the same. When I got here and your mom said you had moved, I was so disappointed. But now, well, I'm just so happy."

Ethan smiled that adorable smile of his, while his blue eyes looked deeply into Hope's. Then he laced his fingers with hers, which for some reason seemed more intimate than just cupping her whole hand, and continued walking to the truck.

As they got in, Ethan turned to Hope and asked, "hey, you said you liked frozen yogurt, do you want to stop for some? We have a little time before our next activity. Or would you prefer ice cream?"

"I think today's a fro-yo day." Hope replied.

"Okay, fro-yo it is."

That started a little " would you rather" game along the way. Would you rather have chicken or steak? (steak for both). Would you rather read the book or watch the movie ( movie for Ethan, book for Hope). Ski or surf (neither for Hope, surf for Ethan). Burgers or pizza (burgers for both). Concert or theater (concert). Football or baseball (baseball).

Hope was glad to find more things in common with Ethan. They got to the yogurt place and continued the game. Traditional flavor or specialty? ( specialty). Gummy worms or sour patch kids, Hope thought Sour patch kids sounded so gross, but Ethan insisted she try it. She was surprised that they were a pretty good compliment to the tart yogurt.

Fro-yo finished, they got back in the truck. Ethan opened the center console, looking for something, and muttered,"dang-it"

"What's wrong?" Hope wondered. He seemed a little flustered.

"Oh, well, I forgot something at my place, I guess. We need it for the next stop." Hope gave him a curious look. "I forgot the tickets. I thought we could go to a movie, and I bought the tickets this morning. I guess I forgot to grab them out of the printer."

"Do we have time to grab them? There's usually tons of previews so..." Hope left it up to him.

"Yeah, if we hurry there, we can probably make it okay." He started the truck up and drove back to his apartment.

When they got there, Hope jumped out with him, not wanting to wait by herself. Plus she wanted a sneak peak of his place. She wondered if he was messy, and what his college bachelor pad might look like.

They took the stairs quickly, then Ethan unlocked his door, opening it for Hope to walk in first. She was pleased that he wasn't a slob as she stepped inside. It seemed he also had pretty good taste, his apartment was decorated in a simple modern style with tans and black. Hope liked it.

Ethan went to a back room to get the tickets while Hope continued to look around. As she got to a side table, she noticed some framed photos, and one in particular caught her eye. It was a picture of Ethan and Will, in surf gear at north beach. They looked about 15 or 16, right around the time Ethan had "noticed" her. She was still looking at the photo fondly when Ethan came back out. He walked over and noticed what she was looking at.

"That's my friend, Will. We were best friends since, forever." He said sadly.

"Were?" Hope asked. She wanted to tell him about her time with Will, but she was uncertain how he might take it.

"Yeah, it's kinda a long story." He replied.

Hope decided to try to help the two work things out. It was obvious that they both felt bad about whatever had happened. "I think you should try to fix whatever happened with him."

Ethan gave her a strange look, "It's really not that easy."

Hope felt like she needed to be honest with him. "You know, I've talked to him actually. I think he would want to work it out also."

Ethan looked somewhere between shocked and confused, possibly even mad. "What are you talking about?" Hope wasn't sure why he reacted this way, other than he must feel jealous about her spending time with Will.

"It was really nothing. He just helped me out at the bonfire last week, then he talked to me during a morning surfing break. He helped a lot with my confidence in myself. But we're just friends, honest." Hope felt her nerves kick in. Something was off about this whole conversation and she had no idea what.

"Is this some kind of sick joke?" Okay, now she was really confused. Hope had no response other than an open mouth with no words. Then Ethan looked away from her and said quietly, "I think you should go."

"What?" Hope felt her heart in her throat. She was so confused. Why was he so upset? "Really, it meant nothing, Ethan. Please..." Her voice cracked with emotion at that point.

"Nothing? I'm not sure why you're doing this, but it's not nothing. Why would you say you had just spent time with him?" Ethan accused.

"But... I... he..." Hope was at a loss for words. She felt like she was fighting a loosing battle and had no idea what it was about.

"He's dead Hope! He died last year, on the weekend I was waiting for you! Are you happy now?"

"No, I... wait, what?" She couldn't believe he would say that. What was going on? Will dead? but she just saw him.

Ethan looked away again, "Like I said, I think you should go."

Hope felt as though the room was spinning, like all the air had been sucked out. Hurt, confusion, shock, shame. All were felt strongly as she silently turned from Ethan and walked out the door, not bothering to close it behind her. With tears threatening to fall from her stinging eyes, she made her way to her car. Don't cry here, don't cry here.

Hope got in her car and drove away, still trying to process what had just happened. At first she thought Ethan was jealous, but when he said that Will had died, Hope didn't know what to think. How could that be true? She decided to control her emotions as much as she could and think through this objectively. This was just a misunderstanding, it had to be. They would figure this out.

So, she started at the beginning, the bonfire. Will had seemed to appear out of nowhere, but she hadn't truly been paying attention to everyone there. He did seem like he was glowing, but that must have been from the fire. His eyes held an unusual sparkle, but was that enough to think of him as a ghost or something? Then she thought of the other things about him that confused her. How he was always at north beach, he didn't seem to have a car or a phone (I mean what 20 year old doesn't have a phone?)

Hope couldn't think about this anymore. She just needed to drive, try to get herself back. Somehow, she thought if she could find Will she could get some answers and maybe figure out how to explain this to Ethan. She was suddenly scared, scared of not being able to make him understand. Hope was so confused by his reaction, it was so strong. She knew it was a crazy situation, but he seemed angry with her and wouldn't even listen to what she was trying to say. She wondered if this was a side to him she wouldn't like much. Was he an angry personality?

As soon as she had asked herself that question, she had the answer: no. She had seen him over the years and she had gotten to know his mom. She had experienced his gentle, shy personality over the last several days. No, he wasn't an angry guy, but something about this had really touched a nerve. She wondered if she should speak with Diane about it, perhaps she knew something that would shed light on the situation.

Well, first thing was first, Hope needed to try to find Will and the only place she could think to do that was at north beach. She glanced at the clock, it was only 3:30. She could be at the beach by 4 so that's where she focused her energy and put her worrisome thoughts of Ethan out of her mind for now.

***************

30 minutes.

That's all it took to change everything. 30 minutes had turned Hope's world upside down. Everything she thought she knew had become confused. She didn't know what to think anymore.

As she drove, she had tried to keep thoughts of Ethan blocked, to no avail. Her thoughts had a mind of their own and she had their last conversation replaying in her mind the whole drive. He was so adamant about Will dying last year. And he was angry about it. It caused Hope to second guess herself. Could he be dead even though I spent time talking with him?

As she had pulled up to north beach she remembered other things about her time with Will that took her breath away. He never touched me. He always seemed to appear when I was looking for him. I felt protected when he was with me, he was my truth serum. I felt different when he wasn't at the beach anymore, that intangible difference I noticed after he left. He was holding something back, something he didn't want to say.

While these thoughts ran through her mind, Hope walked out onto the shore of north beach. She looked out at the water for Will, but saw no one. She looked down the beach to where he had come from before they went to see the elephant seals, but again, no one was there. She sat on the sand where they would have their surfing meeting in the morning. She felt lost.

Where are you, Will?

He's not here anymore

Why?

Ethan was right, he wasn't lying about this.

But how could that be?

It's what you needed, what you asked for. Someone to see you.

She had asked for someone to see her when she cried out to the ocean. Then Will had appeared at the bonfire, silencing that voice in her head, until he was gone again. Then Diane had seen her, and Ethan had always seen her, without her knowing.

But, Diane and Ethan...

Will came to prepare you for them. Without him, you wouldn't have let them in. Without him, you wouldn't have listened to your heart.

Something clicked for Hope then, everything fell into place. She had cried out to God to help her, bring her back from her sense of being nothing. Will had done that, he had given her confidence and made her feel valued. She allowed herself to open up to him. He was her angel, he had protected her, guarded her and in so doing, she had unguarded herself.

What now, what about Ethan?

He will understand. Give him time to tell you...

Hope began to recognize this voice as something other than her own thoughts at war with one another. At first she thought it was her conscious. But now she felt it was something more, like the voice of God trying to reassure her.

She had no other choice than to trust the voice and wait.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
If you liked it, please tap the star to vote! Thank you!!

Author's note

So, were you shocked? I'm not up on my angel lore, so if any of this doesn't mesh with what you know or think you know about them, forgive me. Consider it artistic license! For more about why I chose to use a supernatural element in this story, be sure to read the FAQ and Behind the Scenes chapter I will add to the end. And we're getting close!

Hope is in 'wait and be patient' mode which is awful if you've ever been there. There will be a resolution so you can wait and be patient along with her (told you it was awful!).

Notes on chapter title - after the world

I think of this as Will's POV, the song is actually written as God speaking to us. Don't get mad and I hope me using that as Will's perspective is not offensive. Some of the words relate to Will, but not all of them, much like most of the songs that inspired this book. It's really that he "saw" her when she cried out to be seen. Take a listen and I hope you will see what I mean...

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]