~We Don't Talk Anymore - Sugawara Koshi~

I finally found this lost draft, yaay. I wrote this early last year, so it's quite cringy :')
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We don't talk anymore, we don't talk anymore
We don't talk anymore, like we used to do
We don't laugh anymore, what was all of it for?
Ohh, we don't talk anymore, like we used to do...

Days went on, conversations grew shorter. Random talks about anything, was now just a 'hello' or 'how are you' in the hallways. Hugs they gave each other when they approached every morning, became distant smiles and waves.

Sugawara couldn't remember the last time the both of you had a proper conversation. Once you and him started the third year of high school, the both of you grew distant because of how busy this year was. But it wasn't only because of that.

In a relationship, the two of you stated that it didn't seem like it wasn't working out and broke up just before the third year of high school. After talking about it, you and Sugawara ended the relationship with somewhat mutual feelings.

I just heard you found the one you been looking, you been looking for
I wish I would have known that wasn't me
'Cause even after all this time I still wonder
Why I can't move on, just the way you did so easily

Sugawara completely regretted breaking up with you and it pained him to see that what was once his, was now another guy's. It hurt even more after finding out that the guy was one of Sugawara's friends.

Walking down the hallway, Sugawara saw you and Daichi laughing merrily, and the male felt a flicker of pain in his heart. You didn't notice him as you were too engaged in what Daichi had given you for your anniversary.

"Ah, Daichi!" You jumped, pulling the brown haired male down by wrapping your arms around his neck, "Thank you so, so much! I can't believe you bought me this!" You exclaimed joyfully, admiring the (Random Item).

"I'm glad you like it, (First Name)," the said male chuckled at your actions, giving you a warm smile.

"Like it? I love it!" You told him and continued to admire the (Random Item)

Sugawara remembered how that used to be you and him. How he would always give you the most amazing presents, how you would always react like that after receiving it. He couldn't bring them back anymore.

The boy never thought you would be able to move on so easily. He wished he could. Whenever he saw you and Daichi together, the pain in his heart would become unbearable.

---

It wasn't long before the end of school year was approaching, and a special event was soon coming up - prom. Guys already had their best suits out and girls had the perfect dresses to impress their dates.

Don't wanna know
Kinda dress you're wearing tonight
If he's holdin' onto you so tight
The way I did before
I overdosed
Shoulda known your love was a game
Now I can't get you outta my brain
Ooh, it's such a shame

You knocked on the light brown door before hearing "come in" from the other side. You smiled as you saw your boyfriend fixing his black tie in front of his mirror, "You look great, Daichi."

The said male turned around to reply, but dropped his jaw. You looked as great as ever. Daichi walked over to you and complimented you with a soft smile, "You look amazing yourself, (First Name)."

"Thanks," you showed a small grin, and you couldn't help but blush at his words.

Daichi put his hands on the side of your arms and leaned towards you. He gave you a quick peck on the forehead before pulling away, only to see you with a solemn look on your face. You remembered something.

That we don't talk anymore, we don't talk anymore
We don't talk anymore, like we used to do
We don't laugh anymore, what was all of it for?
Ohh, we don't talk anymore, like we used to do

"(First Name)?" He called, but you had zoned out. "(First Name)," Daichi called the second time, waving his hand in front of you.

You blinked several times, "Ah, wh-what is it? Sorry, I was just thinking about prom," you lied. "Shall we go now?" You chuckled awkwardly, as you turned to the mirror to adjust your outfit before leaving the room.

"Yeah, of course," he told you, and you nodded in response with a forced smile.

Daichi knew what was wrong. There were times when he'd show you affection and he'd notice the look in your eyes would sadden. Something in the back of his mind told him that you were thinking about Sugawara.

The gray haired boy sat in the living room, looking at the photo album of the two of you and the book full of drawings of those photos. Sugawara remembered how every anniversary, you and him would take a photo and you or him would attempt draw it.

His face saddened once he remembered it, but the expression on his face changed not long after when he heard a knock on the front door. Getting up from the couch, he walked over to it and opened the door to see Kiyoko Shimizu.

She looked great in the male's eyes. Wearing a long, dark blue dress that came down to her ankles and her hair in a high pony tail as loose strands framed her face. She also wore a blue necklace and earrings to match her outfit.

"You're not ready yet?" Kiyoko questioned when she noticed Sugawara being only half-dressed in his suit.

"Ah, yeah, sorry. I was nearly done. I got carried away with something else, haha," Sugawara scratched the back of his head, "I'll go get changed now."

The girl nodded and waited for the gray haired male at the couch. She looked around the room, and the first thing she noticed was a book as a small photo album on the coffee table in front of her.

A small frown made its way to the girl's face, "He still misses her..."

It wasn't that Kiyoko was jealous or anything like that, it was only because she was worried for Sugawara. She knew how hard it is to get over someone, and the girl learned that it's better to just move on.

Some time later, Sugawara came down the stairs slowly, attempting to fix his tie. He was never able to do it. Kiyoko noticed this and decided to help the poor boy who seemed like he was about to give up any time soon.

"Thanks." His lips curved into an embarrassed, awkward smile as he watched the girl fix his tie with ease.

As Sugawara watched her, he remembered that whenever the both of you had to attend formal parties, you always had to help out the boy out and fix his tie for him. He never could get it right.

But the look on Sugawara's face suddenly saddened when he remembered his break up with you. Why couldn't he just move on? Kiyoko pulled up his tie and she immediately noticed.

"Sugawara-kun? Are you okay?" She asked in a worried tone, making a few more adjustments to the black tie.

"Eh?" He blinked a couple of times. "Of course I am, why wouldn't I be?" He faked a grin.

The girl knew what Sugawara was thinking about. Ever since he broke up with you, Kiyoko would do something for him and certain things would make his face would drop in an instant. She didn't have to ask, but only wanted to see if he'd lie about it again.

"... If you keep looking back at the past, you'll miss (First Name) more and more. Sugawara-kun, I know it hurts to let go of someone you love most, but maybe it's the best freedom you can give yourself, and them," Kiyoko told the boy and he processed what she said in his mind, before nodding his head in response hesitantly.

---

During the event, you and Sugawara kept exchanging glances. Thinking it might be somewhat awkward, neither of you approached each other. All the glancing didn't go unnoticed by Daichi and Kiyoko as the night went on.

You turned your head to the direction Sugawara and Kiyoko were sitting, but saw that they had disappeared. Looking around, you spotted Kiyoko's flow-y blue dress and Sugawara following behind her out the gym.

You stood up abruptly - probably by instinct of jealousy - to follow them, but Daichi grabbed your hand and gripped it, "(First Name), what's wrong?" He questioned in a worried tone.

"A-Ah, nothing. I thought I just saw something... Weird?" You lied as you scratched your cheek. "Um, anyway, would you like to dance?"

Daichi replied with a hesitant 'sure' as he glanced to the direction you were looking at. You led him to the dance floor and the brown haired male caught a glimpse of Sugawara's gray hair. He let out a soft sigh.

Your boyfriend always wondered if you really did love him, or were you just using him to try and move on from Sugawara? He wished you could try and move on... I mean, what was the point of dating him?

He wanted to talk to you about it, but he was too afraid to hear what you'd say. He was afraid that you didn't love him as much as he loved you, so he believed all the I-love-you's and the affectionate things you said and did to him.

The night went continued. You and Daichi were dancing and talking, occasionally grabbing some food, while Sugawara and Kiyoko talked about things like volleyball and school as they sat on a bench outside.

The two of you had a great time with your dates, getting distracted by them and forgetting about one another just for this night.

---

The girl sat there, completely shocked. How was she supposed to respond to something like that? It was just out of nowhere, and she didn't have that sort of feelings for Sugawara, she only thought of him as a really close friend.

But there was thing thought as the back of Kiyoko's mind... Was he forcing himself to move on?

I just hope you're lying next to somebody, who knows how to love you like me
There must be a good reason that you're gone
Every now and then I think you might want me to come show up at your door
But I'm just too afraid that I'll be wrong

During the weekend, you went to Sugawara's house to talk. Stepping up to the door, you heard his laughter. Oh, how you missed hearing it. You were about to knock, but heard him yell out, "Okay, okay! I love you, too!"

You felt you heart drop and your fist did, too, since you were about to knock. It hit the door and you heard footsteps approaching a bit after. Noticing what you did, you quickly went down the steps of the house.

Sugawara opened the door, but saw no-one there. He looked to the left of the footpath, and saw a bit of your (Hair Color) hair. Although who knows, that may not be you. There are other people with that hair color.

"Koshi-kun? Who is it?" His younger cousin asked from the couch, tilting her head to the side.

"Ah, I thought I heard someone knock, turns out it was just my imagination, haha," the boy stated, tapping the side of his head and closing the door.

Were you too late? Was that Kiyoko he said that to? You wanted to talk to Sugawara, because there was a part of you that wanted to go back with the boy. But it seems he was happier with someone else.

You shouldn't interfere with his relationship, though. Now you could go on living your lives without the worry of each other, couldn't you? The both of you moved on from each other, right?

Don't wanna know if you're looking into her eyes
If she's holdin' onto you so tight, the way I did before
I overdosed
Shoulda known your love was a game
Now I can't get you outta my brain
Ooh, it's such a shame

Before school started, you and Daichi headed to the library after collecting your equipment from your lockers. Once you were in the library, you saw the familiar blue haired girl and gray haired male sitting at a table.

Your mood went down once again. You turned to Daichi and asked if the both of you could study outside, lying that you wanted to feel the fresh air of the morning instead of staying in a stuffy room.

The male agreed, but looked around the room first, to see what brought you to say that. It wasn't even that stuffy.

Daichi spotted the two third years at a table, Sugawara sitting quite close next to the volleyball manager as he has his arm wrapped around her shoulders. Daichi frowned and turned back to you, who was already exiting the library.

---

The bell soon rang, signaling that it was finally the end of school. You stood at Daichi's locker and waited for him to come out of class; the both of you always went home together after school.

"Ah, (First Name)," he smiled, walking up to you and gave you a hug. Daichi turned to his locker and turned the padlock several times, "Sorry I took so long, my teacher gave the class a really long lecture," he sighed, swinging his locker open.

"That's alright," you told him as you watched the boy put in and take out books. "Hey, Daichi," you started.

"Hm?" He hummed in response as he closed his locker, then zipped up his bag.

"I need to... Talk to you about our relationship. It's been on my mind for while, and I really want to get it off my chest," you looked him in the eyes seriously, making sure he knew you were dead set about this.

"Koshi?" Kiyoko shook the said male, who has his face buried in his arms. "Koshi," Kiyoko called again, shaking him this time.

"Hm? Kiyoko?" The boy replied groggily and sat up after yawning, stretching his arms over his head.

"I need to talk to you about... Your feelings for me," she started, and Sugawara's gaze was instantly on the girl, waiting for her to say more. "You need to stop trying to force yourself to love me. I know you don't, you're only trying to move on from (First Name)."

"E-Eh? I'm not! I really do lo–"

"You don't. I can see the way you look at (First Name) all the time, Koshi. Stop trying to force yourself to move on so much if you really can't."

He knew she was right... Sugawara was hesitant a bit before speaking, "... Yeah, I guess I still do love (First Name)."

That we don't talk anymore, we don't talk anymore
We don't talk anymore, like we used to do
We don't laugh anymore, what was all of it for?

You came back home and immediately went to your room, slumping on your bed with a sorrowful sigh. You broke up with Daichi, the man who loved you with all his heart, for your ex, who may or may not still love you.

You loved him, but seeing Sugawara so happy with Kiyoko, made you miss and remember the times where you made him laugh and smile. It wasn't only the memories you missed, though, you missed him.

Fishing your phone out from your jacket's pocket, you decided to tell Sugawara how you still felt. He was happy with someone else, but you just wanted to get out the feelings you still felt for him.

Sugawara arrived back home and quickly went up to his room. He wanted to tell you. He needed to. Unlocking his phone, the boy went to his messages with you as fast as he can.

You and the gray haired started typing something hesitantly. After typing the sentence, you and Sugawara's thumbs hovered over the send.

To: Koshi

I still love you...

-

To: (First Name)

I miss you so much...

But instead of pressing the send, you and Sugawara hit the backspace and threw your phones to the side of the bed. It's not a good idea, the both of you thought.

What if the other didn't love you anymore? Regrets started to fill you and Sugawara's mind. The two of you should've fought harder if the both of you really did love each other...

Ohh, we don't talk anymore like we used to do...

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Rip, writing. Rip, plot. Rip, song. Rip, OOC-ness. Rip, everything. Reeeeep. I'm sorry, I tried ,__,

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★ Tsukishima x Reader

April 19th, 2017 - Wednesday