Narcissa: why is there blood everywhere?
Bellatrix: I might have aggressively poked someone with my wand.
Narcissa: you stabbed someone?!?!?!
Bellatrix: no aggressively poked them with my wand.
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James: I have nothing to do with it!
James: Okay it was my idea but I don't feel good about it.
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Slytherin: You are pretty dumb.
Hufflepuff: thanks.
Slytherin: why are you thanking me? I insulted you.
Hufflepuff: I'm focusing on the positive things in life.
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Sirius: how do you politely tell someone that you want to hit them with a brick?
Remus: one wishes to s aqwaint your facial features with a fundamental item used in building walls. Repeatedly.
Sirius: that was the most beautiful thing I ever heard.
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Hermionie: we are so in sync that we finish each others-
Ron: sentences.
Hermionie: please don't interrupt me.
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