Narrator: Previously on Hazbin Hotel

Micheal: The fuck is wrong with you yelling at my sister?!

Angel Dust: Valentino owns me!

Micheal: You can get rid of it! You have us by your side.

The intro starts to Play

Singer: Jump up Kick back

(Alastor)

Singer: Jump up Kick back.

(Micheal)

Singer: Jump up Kick back

(Charlie)

Singer: Jump up Kick back

(Vaggie)

Singer: Jump up Kick back

(Nifty)

Singer: Jump up Kick back

(Husk)

Singer: Jump up Kick back

(Sir Pentious and Angel Dust)

Singer: Jump up Kick back
Whip around and spin!

Narrator (Micheal): Episode 5: Dad Beat Dad

Intro based off the Temporal Whip from Ninjago Season 7: Hands of Time

We start off with seeing Vaggie wake up as she notices Charlie is not in bed

Vaggie: *yawns* Charlie?

Vaggie puts on her outfit and goes downstairs where she sees everyone staring at Charlie who's muttering

Charlie: Okay that didn't work. So did that, trust falls every morning and why isn't this hotel working?!

Vaggie: Charlie? Charlie? Charlie!

Charlie: Not really Vaggie! I've been trying to figure out why the hotel isn't working cause we only have a couple months left before the extermination comes! *laughs maniacally*

Micheal: Charlie it's maybe cause we haven't been getting sinners! All we've done is nothing but these activities!-

Charlie: Oh no don't you dare start to argue with me now Micheal! I've done so much hard work and I can't get sinners and Adam is gonna come down here with his angelic army and kill all of hell! What are we supposed to do?!

Micheal: You're whining.

Charlie: I'm not whining Micheal! You are just slipping away from your good side and becoming a total jerk!

Micheal: I DIDN'T SEE YOU COMPLAINING ON MY FUCKING WAY HERE!!! I mean let's face it Charlie it's not gonna work.

Charlie: Yes it will! Maybe you're going out there to kill sinners and plus you have no center!

Micheal: How about you suck my cock?! How could I not be?! Huh?! No we'll both get a center before that happens!

Charlie: You are such a psychopathic freak Micheal! You haven't been like this after since the Sir Pentious incident what the fuck is wrong with you!? Are you deranged!?

Micheal: YOU'RE FUCKING A RIGHT IM DERANGED!!!!!! HOW COULD I NOT BE?!?!

Charlie: Maybe I should have never called you.

Micheal: Do it! Cause I'll put you in the fucking ground with the rest of them.

Husk: Jesus christ you two, you're arguing over simple mistakes. Get over it.

Charlie: Well I can't until he calms down!

Micheal: Not until you calm the fuck down Charlotte!?

Charlie: How about you calm the fuck down Mikey?!

Vaggie: Enough! You two have relationship issues now, i think it's best we call your dad

Charlie: Vaggie, he let the exterminations to begin with, if he could get us into heaven we could talk to them and tell them we can redeem sinners!

Micheal: *gets a idea* Charlie you genius girl! If we call Dad and tell him we need a meeting with Adam's manager, maybe we could get support up there!

Charlie: Genius fucking idea!!!

Micheal and Charlie: Woo!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Micheal: But Wait, who's gonna call him?

Charlie: You do. Plus you are his buddy.

Micheal: Great, be right back.

Micheal walks to the door and then jumps through it again like Eric Andre

Vaggie: Oh fuck sake Micheal!

Meanwhile we cut to a sort of palace as we see pictures of Lilith, Lucifer, Charlie and Micheal as a family as we hear Lucifer say

Lucifer: That's it. Almost there! Now presenting... the Magic tastical backflipping rubber duck! That spits fire! Thank you very much! Thank you very much! Thank you very much! And...... oh who am I'm kidding?! *throws the rubber duck to a picture of him and Lilith when they were together as he hears his phone ring to see Micheal calling* Oh look at that, its Micheal. Aka My son. Wait Son calling?! Oh! Oh shit! What do I say?! Hey Mikey! Hey Micheal! Fuck me what do I say?! *answers the call* Hey Bitch! I mean Micheal!

Micheal: Hey Dad.

Lucifer: Hey How are you Son?

Micheal: I'm fine, I'm just currently residing at the hazbin hotel, listen I know we had a meeting with Adam but we need another meeting this time with Adam's manager

Lucifer: Excuse me for one second. *grabs a cup of coffee and drinks it as he then spits it out in shock* What?! No I mean No no no no no Micheal! Just no.

Micheal: Dad listen me and Charlie are having sibling issues, plus Charlie wants to redeem her people, our people Dad! Just please help us out, and maybe come by the hotel? I can get you free drinks-

Lucifer: Absolutely! Don't worry Son I'll be right there! See you later! *hangs up the call* Woo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!! Fuck you Depression! FUCK YOU! WOO!!

Back with Micheal

Micheal: It worked. It fucking worked!

Micheal then jumps through the door again as he shows up in the lobby

Micheal: Ladies and Gentlemen! Clean this place up! Lucifer is coming today! We are gonna surprise him! Let's go!

A montage starts with us seeing Sir Pentious and Nifty cooking the food, then seeing husk cleaning some glass cups as Razzle and Dazzle put up a sign saying "Welcome Lucifer!" As we see Alastor come downstairs and approaches Micheal

Micheal: Oh hey Alastor what's up?

Alastor: Oh nothing much Mikey! I've noticed the decorations, is someone visiting?

Micheal: Yeah my and Charlie's dad Lucifer! He and I are best buddies.

Charlie: Okay everyone it's showtime! *opens the door to reveal Lucifer*

Lucifer: Charlie!!!

Charlie: Hey dad! *gets hugged by Lucifer*

Lucifer: It's good to see you Darling! *notices Micheal* Oh there is he!

Micheal: Dad!!!! You son of a bitch.

Lucifer and Micheal do a Roman styled handshake as they hug

Micheal: Anyways Dad. Welcome to the hazbin hotel!

Lucifer: *notices Razzle and Dazzle* Oh Hey Razzle and Dazzle look how much you've not grown! Are you taking care of my daughter? *In a deep tone* You better be. *normal voice* Wow this hotel it's got potential, I love the look of it like God damm! Did you do this Micheal?

Micheal: No he did. *points to Alastor*

Lucifer: Oh. *notices the bar* Okay for one, what the hell is this?

Alastor: Some renovation we've done! I'm Alastor and you must be Lucifer! Pleasure to meet you!

Lucifer: Right, hello Alastor.

Alastor and Lucifer shake hands

Lucifer: *in his thoughts* This guy looks like he's from the 1920s which is a decade ago. I hope he didn't do anything to Charlie

Alastor: *in his thoughts* Lucifer seems like a Rival, I'll make sure to keep a eye on him just in case he pulls something stupid.

Lucifer: *normal voice* Anyways, Micheal made this place loveable with calling it the Hazbin hotel.

Alastor: It was actually my idea.

Lucifer: Well it's not clever, don't you think?

Alastor: Haha! Fuck you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89PKBpGm4bQ

I edited that! This shocked most fans when they heard Alastor swear! I'm not fucking joking around!

Charlie: Okay! Okay anyway, Dad I want you to meet our friends, There's Alastor who Micheal mentioned, there's Vaggie she's my girlfriend, There's Sir Pentious and Angel Dust, our guests.

Sir Pentious: Your majesty! *slams his head into a pan of cookies*

Angel Dust: Hey Short king~ *purrs seductively*

Charlie: There's also Nifty our maid and cook, and there's Husk who's the bartender.

Nifty: Hello ultimate bad boy~ *giggles*

Husk: Nice to meet you.

Micheal: Don't mind Nifty, we're sure she's 90 percent harmless and the other ten is her being horny as fuck to get a man, trust me I've been there before with Amanda.

Lucifer: Oh right your family! How are they doing son?

Micheal: Well I didn't tell you all but they got kidnapped.

Husk: *spits out his drink*

Vaggie: What?!

Angel Dust: Okay what the fuck?!

Sir Pentious: Did I hear what I just heard?

Lucifer: ........... *takes a deep breath* And who kidnapped them?

Micheal: Adam's angels, they took them to heaven?

Lucifer: Of course. Of course. *grabs a cup of coffee from offscreen and drinks it* That's good coffee. *throws the cup offscreen*

Micheal: *looks to the camera with a unsurprised look*

Suddenly the chandelier falls and hits the ground as it breaks into pieces

Lucifer: Okay then.

Music then starts to play

Lucifer: Looks like you two could use some help
From the big boss of Hell himself!
Check out Daddy's glowing reviews on Yelp
Five Stars! Flawless! Greater then great!
Oh with a punch of a pentagram
I wap bam boom alakazam
Usually I'd charge a sacrificial lamb
But you get the family rate you two!

Charlie and Micheal: Thanks dad!

Lucifer: Who needs a bus boy when you got the chef
Michelin tasting menu, free a la carte
I'll rig the game for you two cause I'm the ref!
Champagne fountains, Caviar mountains that's just a start!

Alastor: Who's been here since Day one?
Who's been faithful as a nun
Makes you chuckle with a old time pun
Your executive producer!

Charlie: That's true!

Alastor: I'm your guy!
Your day to day
Your Chum and hotelier
Remember when I fixed that clog today?

Nifty: I was stuck! Thank you Sir!

Charlie; Oh you!

Alastor: I'm truly honored we built such a bond
You're like the child I wish I had

Micheal and Lucifer: What?

Alastor: I care for you just like a daughter I spawned

Lucifer: Hold on now!-

Alastor: It's a little funny
You could almost call me Dad!

Lucifer: *summons a violin which he starts to play*

Alastor: *plays a piano*

Micheal: *summons a accordion which he plays*

Alastor: They say when you're looking for assistance
It's smart to pick the path of least resistance

Lucifer: Others say that in your needy hour
There's no substitute for pure angelic power!
Which is also in your bloods!

Alastor: sadly there are times a birth parent is a dud
They say the family you choose is better

Lucifer: What a bunch of losers!

Alastor: Can you get out of my song?

Lucifer: Your song? I started it!

Alastor: Well I'm singing it and I'll finish it!

Alastor/Lucifer: And I knew you were never to be trusted you piece of sh-

Mimzy: *bursts through the doors* its me!
It's me!
I know you all were waiting for me
I'm here and what a gas!
Took a while for me but I'm present at last!
Its me!
It's me!
It's Mimzy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The song ends

Lucifer: Who?

Micheal:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PnX6CDLRyjU

Mimzy: Didn't you just hear me? Why is everyone looking? Is it cause I'm adorable?

Micheal: Uh no cause you interrupted a song we were singing! And-

Alastor: *hits Micheal in the face with his staff* Mimzy!

Mimzy: Alastor! Sweetie! Dollface! *hugs Alastor* Listen I heard you were in the neighborhood staying at this hotel so i wanted to see how you were doing! For old time sakes!

Alastor: Of course Everyone is welcome here!

Charlie: Oh how nice, you two know each other?

Mimzy: Yeah we ran around circles when we were alive, plus he could pound whiskey like a sailor back then!

Micheal: That's because it's American to drink Whiskey

America! Sorry got a little carried away

Alastor: Oh quite a talent this gal, you should have seen her in her prime, which she is.

Mimzy: Yep, *notices Lucifer* Oh my stars, are you Lucifer? Pleasure to meet you!

Lucifer: Uh.... Hi?

Alastor: as much as I love to catch up, Charlie and I have a tour to continue.

Micheal: Oh yeah, well me and Lucifer have a tour to continue as well!

Micheal, Lucifer, Charlie and Alastor walk away to do a tour of the hotel

Mimzy: *notices Husk* Oh Hey Husk! How are you doing?

Husk: I was doing good until five minutes ago.

Mimzy: Oh don't tell me you're not happy to see me!

Husk: I'm mostly not but I am a little to see you.

Mimzy: That's the Husker I know!

Husk: Okay I'll be back. *walks away*

Mimzy: *to Nifty* Hey Nifty how have you been doing girl?

Nifty: I've been killing roaches!

Mimzy: Oh. Good for you.

Angel Dust: So.. Mimzy was it? You and Alastor are friends?

Mimzy: Yeah. Well mostly you heard the stories, he appeared in hell suddenly and people wanted to dismiss him, but soon overlords went missing and not small ones either, no one knew what happened until they heard strange radio broadcasts going out which were screams. There'd be a new voice screaming in the broadcast, that's when Alastor revealed himself as the radio demon. But underneath it all he's a total sweetie,

Sir Pentious and Angel Dust: *both stare at each other in shock*

Me: *looks shocked from the story telling*

Sir Pentious: What the actual fuck?

Angel Dust: Indeed.

Mimzy: Oh come on its just a story, hey husk get me another drink- *notices Husk is gone* Oh what the fuck?

We cut to Charlie, Micheal, Lucifer and Alastor

Charlie: so once we have the proof of redeeming sinners, sinners from all around will be checking into heaven!

Lucifer: How cool.

Alastor: *gets touched on the shoulder by Husk as he turns around* Yes Husker?

Husk: You and I both know Mimzy only shows up when she needs something. That bitch is trouble, and who knows what kinda demon she fucked with to come running to you all the time?

Alastor: It's nothing I can't handle, don't worry Husker. Who in their right mind would cross me?

Husk: I mean, you've been gone a while and it's not like anyone knows why.

Alastor: They don't need to know, last thing I want is for us to get into trouble but don't you aorry your fuzzy head about it Husk!

Husk: You may own my soul, but I ain't your pet.

Alastor: You are one right now. *laughs to himself*

Husk: Big talk for someone who's also on a leash.

Alastor: *stops right in his tracks as he takes a deep breath* You know what would I do if you said that husk?

It was at this moment that Husker knew, he fucked up

Husk: Oh fuck I.. I was meant to say something else- *a chain shows up around his neck as he gets pulled to the ground* Fuck listen Alastor I didn't mean it!

Alastor: If you ever say that again, I'll make sure to rip your soul apart and broadcast your screams for every single FUCKING DISRESPECTING WRETCHES WHO DARES TO QUESTION ME!!

Husk: Understood.

Alastor: Lovely. *the chain around Husk's neck dissappears* Good talk my man! *walks away*

Now we cut back to Charlie, Micheal and Lucifer

Micheal: and Vaggie has almost found all of Angel's drug stashes, almost.

Charlie: Once that's done it should be much smoother sailing from there! What do you think?

Lucifer: Well that's certainly something. But I mean the hotel could work, but Charlie I know you love for the best of people but these are sinners, they don't care about the hotel one bit. Like heaven isn't carefree at all. They have rules, lots of rules and they aren't open minded as you hope

Micheal: See this is why we should've not called him. We didn't get sinners thanks to you Charlie!

Charlie: One you caused this problem! Two Micheal you're now acting like a jerk! Plus show some respect in front of dad!

Micheal: I AM SHOWING FUCKING RESPECT CHARLIE!!!!!! We can't get sinners, they won't join, they love hell, they don't want to go to this hotel!

Charlie: These are our people Micheal! Our people! And you're acting like a whining brat who's acting like a deranged animal!

Micheal: YOU'RE FUCKING A RIGHT IM DERANGED!!!!!! HOW COULD I NOT BE?!?!

Lucifer: Enough! You two! What the hell is wrong with you two? You two were so loving to each other and this is how you repay yourselves? I mean look the sinners are awful! They got gifted free will and look what they did with it! I just don't want you two to put yourself on the line for people like-

The hotel starts to shake as a window was heard being broken

Micheal: Okay what the fuck?!

Lucifer: Well like that! Loan sharks!

Loan Shark: *offscreen* Mimzy! We know you're in there bitch! Come on out!

We then cut to Mimzy and the others

Mimzy: Oh shit.

Micheal: *comes out a portal with Lucifer and Charlie* What the fuck is going on?!

Mimzy: I may have borrowed a bunch of money from some loan sharks, and I may have stolen a car and crashed it into the shark's girlfriend but that bitch had it coming!

Molotovs were then thrown through the windows as they set the place on fire.

Nifty: My windows!

Sir Pentious: We're under siege! Take cover!

Lucifer: see Charlie this is what I'm talking about, you offer everything to people and they bring violence and chaos to your door steps!

Micheal: Fuck this! *grabs his pistol* Motherfuckers are gonna pay!

Alastor: *shows up right next to Micheal* No Micheal, I'll handle this.

Micheal: No you can't. Plus it's better with helping hands.

Angel Dust: What if we did that thing when we were attacked by those gangsters?

Micheal: the Ninja spin! Fuck yes! That's a good idea! Dad you've heard of the Ninja spin right?

Lucifer: I may have, a little.

Micheal: Well all of us can do it! Me, Alastor, Sir Pentious, Vaggie, Charlie, Angel Dust, Husk and You Dad, not nifty cause she's learning still and Mimzy doesn't know what the fuck it is.

Alastor: Well it's time we remind everyone why I am here!

Mimzy: Finally!

Charlie/Micheal/Vaggie/Angel Dust/Husk/Alastor/Lucifer/Sir Pentious: Ninja-Go!!!!

All of them start spinning around as They bursts through the doors and start killing off the loan sharks one by one, Alastor kills a few sharks along with Vaggie, Lucifer kicks another shark far away from the hotel, Micheal was holding dual wield pistols and shooting at the Loan sharks with sir Pentious who was also holding dual wield pistols, Husk and Angel Dust were punching or kicking some sharks and Charlie she was trying not to kill the sharks so she knocks them out

Micheal: Hey Pentious!

Sir Pentious: Yeah?

Micheal: You trust me?

Sir Pentious: Yeah!

Micheal: Then let's do it!

Micheal/Sir Pentious: Ultimate Ninja-Go!!!

Both Micheal and Sir Pentious combine their spinning into a tornado as the two start shooting bullets at the Loan sharks one by one killing all of them as everyone stops spinning

Micheal and Sir Pentious: Woo!!!!!!!!!

Micheal: High five Sir Pentious!

Micheal and Sir Pentious high five and fist bump followed by a hug

Husk: Not bad Angel not bad.

Both Husk and Angel Dust fist bump

Lucifer: woo! Damm I never felt that! But did it feel awesome! But still the hotel will never work.

Charlie sighs to herself

Vaggie: Okay I gotta admit, you did well yourself.

Alastor: Well thank you Vaggie.

Mimzy: *starts clapping* Woo! That was a nice show! Thank you Alastor. For real.

Alastor: Right. But mimzy you should leave, you've caused trouble for the hotel and look what happened to it, now Leave.

Mimzy: Oh you aren't kidding. Well who needs this place anyway. See you around! *walks away*

Micheal: and don't bother coming back! Motherfucker! Woo!!! Hook Line and Sinker! That's what I'm talking about!!! Yeah!! Fuck sake that felt good!

Lucifer then goes back inside the hotel as Charlie follows along with Micheal

Charlie: Dad just help us.

Lucifer: I can't.

Charlie: Why can't you?

Lucifer: Charlie! Heaven never listens! They didn't listen to me and they won't listen to you!

Charlie: You don't know that!

Lucifer: I do!

Music starts to play

Lucifer: You didn't know that when
I tried this all Before
My dreams were too hard to defend
And in the end
I won't lose it all again
Now you're the only things worth fighting for
More than anything
More than anything
I'll shelter and adore you two more than anything

Charlie: Dad we don't need you to protect us.

Lucifer: I just don't want you two being crushed by them like how I did.

Charlie: Dad...

Micheal: *starts to sing* When we were young
We didn't really know you at all
We always felt so small
But we heard your stories and we were enthralled
The tales about your lofty dreams
We listened breathlessly
Imagining it could be us
So in the end
It's the view we had of you
That shows dreams can be worth fighting for
More than anything
More than anything
Charlie wants to save her people more than anything

Lucifer: I've been dying to find out who you two are.

Charlie: We've been waiting and wanting the same thing

Lucifer: Looks like the apples don't fall far

Micheal: Took you a while

Lucifer: I've missed those smiles

Micheal, Charlie, Lucifer: all that we're hoping
Now that our eyes are open
Is that we can start again
Not be pulled apart again
Cause in the end
You are part of who I am

Lucifer: I'll support your dreams whatever lies in store

Charlie: and who could ask for more?

Lucifer: More than anything!

Micheal: More than anything!

Lucifer: More than anything!

Charlie: More than anything!

Lucifer, Charlie, Micheal: I'm grateful you're my son and daughter/father
More than anything
More than anything

The song ends

Sir Pentious: *starts to cry* that's the sweetest moment I've seen in my life.

Angel Dust: *pats Sir Pentious on the back* there there Pentious.

Lucifer: Okay I can get you two the meeting but once you're up in heaven, I won't be able to go with you two. Will you two be okay?

Micheal: We will dad. I'll protect Charlie up there.

Lucifer: That's my children. *sighs* good luck you two.

Lucifer then dissappears away

Micheal: This next part is gonna be scary, are you gonna be okay Charlie?

Charlie; Don't worry, I'll be fine. Plus we could bring Vaggie along

Vaggie: In spirit right?

Charlie: No Vaggie, in person!

Vaggie: Cool.

Micheal: Alright then, you know I wish dad would stay here at the hotel...

Lucifer: *offscreen* I heard that Kiddo.

Micheal and Charlie: *both turn around to see Lucifer* Dad?!

Micheal: Dad what are you doing back here? I thought you would go back home,

Lucifer: Well it's been lonely there and I haven't had anyone to talk to. But guess what I'm gonna be moving in with you guys.

Charlie: Really?!

Lucifer: Yep. Plus I don't want to be away from my son and daughter.

Micheal: Yes! Yes! Yes! God Dammit! *turns into his demonic form* YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *turns back to Normal* Sorry, got a bit overwhelmed. But welcome to the Hazbin Hotel Dad!

Lucifer: Thanks son.

Micheal: *looks to the ceiling* Don't worry Amanda, I'll be up there, and I'm gonna get you and the kids out safely. Don't you worry.

The end.

Cast List

Ned Luke (Singing Voice: Himself)

Elsie Lovelock (Singing Voice: Herself)

Monica Franco

Keith David

Micheal Kovach

Alex Brightman

Michelle Marie

Edward Bosco

Jeremy Jordan as Lucifer

Jill Harris as Mimzy

Steven Ogg as Loan Shark

Woo!! Enjoy this episode ladies and gentlemen! We are on episode 6!!