Inviting Ulisses for a snack with us had seemed like a good idea in my head.  Ever since the other night, with all the stuff Heitor was talking about, and my aunt Alicia's very good points, I felt bad and I couldn't shake what she said about what he must be going through. Not about the leg, I didn't feel pity for him for that, nor did I think he would have wanted anyone's compassion. But he did seem lonely. I also thought of what he said about my shielding him. 

When I first got the part of Clara, I thought there would be more backlash. That other aspirants to the role would be angry that I got it. Of course, there were a few complaints to the instructors. Jana, in particular, had an earful. One of my classmates, his understudy, Wallace, did say something to me: "Good luck". And he sounded kind of ironic too, raising his eyebrows in Ulisses' direction. and I had done pairwork a few times, so I didn't get why he was being kind of catty to me. He shook his head, when I asked.

"It's not you. It's him I don't like. He doesn't have the best reputation."

It was my turn to raise an eyebrow. Wallace was his understudy, after all. And he seemed to read my mind, from what he said next: 

"Actually, I admit I kind of wanted this role out of spite too. Of course, it would have been awesome to get this for the experience and exposition. But I kind of wanted to take him down a peg too. It would have been quite a blow to his ego. And it would have been fine, I guess, if he had auditioned like we all did".

I had wondered about that. 

"Do you hate him that much?" I asked

"You started here after he had left, so I don't know how well you knew him, you know, before the accident. But he was kind of obnoxious, and a real nightmare when he had to coach the young learners. I was in his class. He was 13 or 14, and I was 10. I don't know if because of his dad's coaching style, but he was just as ruthless. And he didn't really try to make friends with anyone."

"He was friends with my cousin. Gabriela's brother, Heitor." I didn't mention that we met a few months after his accident. "Do you know him?"

"Yeah, I remember Heitor all right. He is really cute too. I had the biggest crush on him. Looked like an angel, and was a real saint, being friends with him. Do you know what is his deal? I kind of wondered if the two of them were an item. But I remember when Ulisses and Malu went out for a while, so unless he...

"No idea. He is very private."

 I felt a pang in my stomach at the idea of Ulisses kissing someone. What is wrong with me?

And it is true, Heitor had always been very friendly and patient, being nice came naturally to him. I'm not sure if he developed this trait even further when he had a younger sister with Down Syndrome, or if it was just Gabi's luck, having such a nice, protective, big brother. We always joked that it was a good thing he never tried going into politics. Whenever we went somewhere, a lot of people would greet him and he would talk to everyone. It was kind of annoying. And his sister was just like him. 

Wallace was right about my not knowing how Ulisses used to be. I had heard about how he was. And I looked at him talking to Gabi now, and how he and Jana had this rapport. He wasn't necessarily snobbish. He would talk to people who talked to him. Like me... And he could carry out a conversation, even be funny, in an ironic way. But he didn't really try smiling, and he didn't care to stay in a conversation that didn't interest him. I wondered if that was a red flag, or if he was just non-neurotypical, like me. Was that a case of "It takes one to know one?"

I barely even talked on the way to the snack bar, thinking about all that. In fact, had it not been for Gabi's incessant chatter and questions, our walk there would have been pretty awkward. 

"This leg is so cool." she said, staring at it like it was a cool high-tech toy. "What is it made of? Can you go to the beach? Can you go to the pool? What happens if you don't charge it? Do you just get stuck in one place?

I laughed at this last question, because we had just talked about it. To my relief and his credit, he did answer every single one of her inquiries.

"Thank you. No, this leg cannot go in the water, because it is battery powered and would probably short circuit and fry me. But I have one at home that is mechanical and can get wet. I prefer this one because it learns, my gait, I mean, how I walk, and makes it easier.  And no, if the battery dies, I don't get stuck, it just gets a little more painful to walk. It jolts more. It happened to me once."

"How did you lose your leg?"

"Shark attack. Pretty gruesome." He looked at me and winked. "Someone dared me to punch the shark in the nose. I missed it"

"You're lying!" Gabi shot. But she was laughing. "You still have your hand!"

"You should have said you were surfing with your legs down" I said. 

It was a miracle finding a table at that time. We sat down outside, by the wall.  I placed my skate bag on one of the chairs and Gabi followed suit.

"Is it safe, here?" Ulisses asked, still holding his bag against his body. 

I nodded.

"At this time? Yes. I mean, not if we leave it unattended." I said, picking up the menu to see the options.

"Where do you go to school?" he asked.

I" I used to go to Semente School, in Rio" I said, my eyes still on the menu. "As you know, I came to Niteroi last year to live with my grandma. I've been kind of studying at home for now, with a private tutor."

"Like homeschool? I thought this wasn't legal in Brazil."

"And it isn't. I'm not being homeschooled, like some people do in the United States. What I do is kind of like some artists and athletes do, long distance learning, while still going to school, on paper. I mean, I'm oficially enrolled at Semente, I take the regular subjects, and do the tests. And I take some extra curriculars at home. But this is kind of a... special circumstance, just until I figure some things out. I've had some trouble there, and they agreed with this condition at my therapist's request. Until I start high school, next year. 

Is it just me or does he look just as awkward as I do? How much does he know about the bullying incidents in my school ? I wonder if Heitor told him about the dead rat in my backpack, and how I still couldn't enter a school building without having a full-blown anxiety attack with the memoried of that day. 

"I don't go to a regular school either. I take workshops and Ocupational Therapy. Dance, skating, Physical Therapy. E speech therapy, because people can't always understand what I say." She blushed as she said this last part.

"Really? I've mean meaning to look for a speech therapist too. My mom keeps complaining that I mumble when I talk."

"Good think you don't need to talk when you skate" she said, diplomatically

"Actually, I've been meaning to tell you. You were a hit during the auditions." he told Gabi. "Everyone kept talking about your presentation. What was that song?"

Gabi smiled, and thanked him. And then proceeded to tell him all about Taylor Swift and her red and dark blue degradé collant, which she had made to look like one from one of Taylor's concerts. He had no idea that he got a fan.

We placed our orders. Chicken and cream cheese tapioca for me, Apricot and Brie for Gabi. Strawberry and Cacau for me, Coconut smoothie with coconut water for her.  Ulisses was the last one to order. When Gabi wasn't looking, I mouthed thank you to him, for being so amazing with her. He winked at me in response. And, after choosing the açai, he handed the menu to the waiter like nothing had happened.