Lyra stayed still at first, unable to react but when my lips brushed against hers, she gave in and closed her eyes. Not being able to mask her emotions anymore, her fingers grazed the back of my neck and she kissed me back, though hesitant at first.

Her lips were soft like satin and I could devour the taste of mint on them forever as her lips raced against mine. The stillness and quiet of the room urged my attention to flicker on the sounds that were a result of our sweet little act and I couldn't help but hear an 'I love you' in them. Maybe this was Lyra's way of confessing her love for me — saying what her words couldn't say through actions like these — or maybe this was just something that pulled us both in the heat of the moment. I really hoped it wasn't just the latter.

My lips did all they could to convince her to stay but hers were trying to suggest as if it would be the last. Our chests were heaving up and down from the ragged breathing and all of a sudden, her muscles tensed up when a betraying tear fell off from her eye. But she wiped it quickly before I could reach and pulled away, turning in such a way that I couldn't see her flushed face.

The silence that followed after was way too uncomfortable because how were we supposed to talk normally after what just happened? Or were we supposed to discuss exactly what we did? Do people usually talk about this? I wouldn't know; this was the first time I had kissed someone.

Not knowing what else to do, I changed the topic to something more comfortable. "How's your job hunt going by the way?"

"Pathetic." She scoffed. "People are so stupid, honestly. Everyone wants a fresher with a minimum two year work experience but nobody wants to hire an 18 year old because she's too immature for the job. I'm an adult for fuck's sake! When will people treat me like one?" She yelled and ran a hand through her hair, messing it up angrily. "And I lost my grant too. It's not getting renewed. I'm going to lose my mind-"

"Nicola cancelled your grant?" I narrowed my eyes. I thought their meeting had gone well.

"Yup. She called me a few days back." Lyra shook her head and let out a long sigh. Hiding her face with her hands, she angrily asked. "Why does nobody believe in me?"

"I do." I chipped in.

"Thanks, D." Her nods told me I was not the one she was counting on here. She meant people other than me, someone who could actually help her get a job.

How the hell did I always find myself in situations like these? Going from one awkward moment to another?

Turning on the TV outside, I played a movie I knew she liked and urged her to wait for me there. Once she was gone from the kitchen, I picked up the rest of the pineapple and began to cut it into thin slices after washing it again.

"Where-" When she turned to face me, I offered her a freshly chopped pineapple salad with her favourite dressing on top. A smile made its way to her face and she gladly accepted it, patting the space beside her on the sofa, offering me a seat next to her. "Wow, this is a lot."

Just when she was about to stab a piece with a fork, her hands began shivering and she dropped the fork in reflex. Way too embarrassed to confront and admit the way her body was reacting, she kept the plate aside and sank deeper into the sofa, wanting to hide into it.

"Hey, I guess I'm a little hungry too now." I lied, rubbing my belly to convince her. In hindsight, that was the most unconvincing move ever but I'm glad Lyra didn't notice. "Pass me the plate, please."

"O-okay." Lyra said, her eyes turning sad when she watched the food she craved for go away. Truth be told, she was clearly starving and pineapples made her mouth water but she was scared, afraid that the day I found out about her body image issues would play all over again if she ended up puking again.

"Sweetheart-" I asked, playing with the food on the plate "-do you trust me?"

"Of course, idiot." She nudged me angrily and pulled my cheek. The proximity made my heart race into a whole new direction but now wasn't a time to daydream and fantasise about a possibility where we'd both be together, in love, forever.

"Okay then." I declared, shifting to face her this time. "We are going to share this salad."

"I don't need- I'm not hungry, D. You can have it-" Her sentence was left incomplete when I placed my finger on her lip and hushed her. Eyes widened, she simply nodded and looked at the TV instead.

"It's not a lot if two of us share it in halves. Your turn first." I said, stabbing the pineapple with a fork and placing it in front of her mouth. "Eat." She obliged, still unsure about the way her body was going to react to it. "My turn." I said and swallowed a small piece, taking way too long to return back to her.

And just like that, I kept feeding her the salad, pretending I was eating along when all I was doing was pretending to chew bites that didn't even exist. And since her attention was fixated on her favourite movie, she never realised how she had eaten the whole salad without her body acting up again. When we were on the last bite, I kept my act solid and told her it was my turn, eating the last slice right in front of her so she could never suspect I made her eat the whole thing by herself.

Smiling, she looked at me and wiped the salad dressing on the corner of my mouth with her thumb, instantly reminding me of the moment we had shared a few minutes ago in the kitchen. As if the same memory replayed in her head too, she reached out to pick up the bottle on the other end and gulped a lot of water at once. To avoid meeting my gaze.

I did the same by walking into the kitchen and pretending to wash a single dish for way too long. Once I was back, she moved closer again and locked our arms, resting her head on my chest while she lost herself into the TV screen. Slowly, I leaned onto her and we began watching the movie together, the silence between us and the voices from the movie being our only company.

Not even once did we mention the kiss, as if it was just a fragment of my dream that had never actualized in reality.

*

Lyra's grip on my shirt tightened, almost choking me, causing my eyes to flutter open at once. Still drowsy, sleep let my eyes open just halfway and I wasn't able to figure out anything that was happening around me.

I looked down at the weight on my chest and saw Lyra hugging me in her sleep — one hand wrapped around me tightly and the other holding my shirt so that I couldn't run away or sneak out without waking her up.

A slight smile crossed my face thinking about that. She didn't want me to go; she didn't want me to leave her alone. If only she knew I felt the same way about her. All along. Focusing my attention on the movie that was still playing, the scene that showed up clearly told me that we both fell asleep somewhat fifteen minutes after the movie started.

The villain's cringy entrance music blasted way too loud and Lyra stirred in her sleep, tickling me with her slow movements. Involuntarily, I bent to press a kiss to her forehead. Don't blame me, she looked way too adorable in her sleep.

I shifted a little, trying to place a pillow behind my back since I had been asleep in an uncomfortable sitting position for way too long now. But the moment I tried to straighten up, the shirt released itself out of Lyra's hold and her muscles tensed up as she started shaking. I tried to wake her up, gripping her elbow and shaking her till her eyes opened but she didn't flinch.

A few moments later, her face turned into a frown and she started screaming in her sleep, right into my ear. She yelled in a shrill voice and her lips quivered constantly. "D- Don't h- hit me. P- Pl- Please-"

Hearing those words, all remaining traces of sleep remaining in me went away. "Lyra?" I called out louder this time. When she didn't react, I caressed her cheek with my thumb and realised how cold her body was. Maybe she needed a blanket.

Just when I shifted aside to fetch one, her entire body started shaking violently. She screamed this time but her words weren't as stuttered or broken as before. "Please don't hit me. I'm sorry. I- I won't tell anyone, I promise. Please. Just let me go."

She was freaking out and when I hugged her to try and calm down her trembling body, her cries grew louder, though only coming out as muffled ones.

"Please?" She begged once again. "Mom?" She yelled out loud. I held both her hands and shook her like crazy. Her eyes flinched open and there was only one thing I could see in them. Fear.

It was like her eyes were pleading with me to take her out of this mess, to tell her everything was going to be okay again, even if that was just a white lie. She needed that reassurance, she needed the comforting false hope tonight. She was scared, scarred even, probably beyond repair. Never had I seen her so broken, so fragile before. Something was eating up her very will to live. Someone she used to call her own was stabbing her in the back and the pain was more than evident in her eyes.

"Lyra?" I called out once more to find out whether she was in a state to talk. Burying her head in my chest instead, she cried to her heart's content. I didn't care about the way her tears were soaking my shirt or the way she could have easily woken someone in the neighbourhood up with her loud whimpers; I just wanted her to feel safe. I wanted her to know that she had someone to run into, each time she felt alone. I wanted her to feel loved. Because she was the only one who deserved all the love in this world.

"Am I that bad, D?" She spoke into my chest, wailing.

"No, love." I stroked her wet cheek. "You're an amazing person."

"Then why does she hit me every day and say that I ruined her life?" She struggled to breathe. "And every time she hits me, that man I call my father just sits there and laughs. I- It feels so- so hu- humili- humiliating, so-"

"Shh." I didn't let her speak when she started weeping uncontrollably. " Come here." Pulling her into an even tighter hug, I pecked her cheek. Somehow, I had already pieced together everything about what she was telling me. Lyra's mom, Georgia, was a model by profession and Lyra came as an unexpected storm in her life.

The man she wanted to marry had run away as soon as she told him she was carrying his child. Lyra was still growing in her womb and all her contracts were declared void since she could no longer be used for ramp walks, promotions or photography due to her increased weight.

After Lyra's birth, her mom could never find her lost place in the modelling world again, since she had become an old face by then and everyone wanted freshers to endorse their product. Not a middle-aged old woman with stretch marks all over her body. Tired of the mess, she rushed into an arranged marriage and never looked back. She knew Lyra would not be happy there, but she couldn't care any less.

Probably, the only reason she had kept Lyra with her was to make her a successful model, just like she was, one day. To see her dreams come true through her daughter. But when she started noticing Lyra's carelessness about her looks, she pestered her to such a level that the poor girl ended up feeling self-conscious and came out with anorexia, hating the way she looked in the mirror.

Rubbing her back until her cries softened, I kept tracing circular patterns on her back with my finger, hoping they could calm her down. I was never a person who could find the right things to say at the right time and I knew no matter how many times I would try, how hard I'd try to convince Lyra that everything would be okay, it would be a lie since I was just an outsider.

It was actually her who was living that pathetic life. I was no one to tell her that the road ahead would be easy. I was no one to make false promises. Even when I so desperately wanted to.

As my mind wandered around thoughts of Lyra's beautiful smile that was lost now, an idea popped up into my mind. I picked Lyra up in my arms and once we reached the storeroom, I put her back on her feet and she exclaimed, confused. "Woah, what was that for?"

"You'll see." I winked and unlocked the door that had been closed since ages and pushed the creaky doors open to reveal a room full of dust and covered furniture. As we held hands and ventured inside, a knot tied up in my stomach, self doubt catching hold of me once again. Will I be good enough?

Pushing all negative thoughts aside, I faked excitement and took a deep breath. "What've you got to say about this?" I picked up a side of the wrinkled, old cloth and pulled it aside to reveal a huge piano lying underneath.

"Wow!" Her fingers unconsciously traced the white keys of the piano and flinched when a sound erupted from one of them. "This is unbelievable. I never knew you had one of these!"

"My mom was a ballet dancer too, you know?" I smiled, remembering those days when she would dance and I would play the piano with my little hands. Lyra placed her hands on my shoulders to pull me out of the sad memories and leaned closer to whisper in my ear. "Think you can still play this?"

I could swear I saw a twinkle in her eye. I quickly acquainted her with the rest of the room where my mom's clothes and accessories were dumped when my eye fell on something I was supposed to pass on. Lyra tied the ballet shoes around her tiny feet and I was simply stunned, out of words at how perfect she was. My eyes were tearing up but I couldn't dare to cry in front of her if I wanted her to feel better again.

Closing my eyes, I pressed a key and somehow, I could feel a gush of confidence flow through my nerves. My fingers automatically started playing the tune I used to play as a child, not even needing a glance at the notes. But what was ahead of me was beyond astonishing. More like my sweet little paradise.

I played the soft, instrumental tune when I saw a cheer erupt on Lyra's face, lost in the music as her feet started moving on their own, making her spin thrice before smiling at me. She danced to the tune and the happiness bubbling within her was unmistakable.

If we could pause time, we would be like this forever. I'd be her rhythm and she'd be the lyrics, making us a perfect song.

A few moments after the dance was over, I pulled the tip of her finger out of her mouth. "Lyra." I never understood why she chewed nails; it was so disgusting. "I have something to give you."

"Hmm." She was inspecting her broken nail under the dim lights, totally uninterested in anything that I was saying.

I stood up and brought the red box outside. I wasn't ready to propose to her yet or even confess my love into words, so I just pulled the lid of the box to reveal a shiny ruby ring. "This is for you."

"Wow!" She gasped and her hand covered her mouth. "This is so breathtaking, D. But I- I can't" She hesitated.

"It was my mum's." I shrugged, smiling.

"That's exactly one of the reasons I shouldn't." She looked conflicted, clearly overthinking about this. As if the ring was ever made for anyone but her.

I put a finger on her lip again to quieten her. "Lyra, do you have any clue how much you remind me of my mom?" It might sound a bit creepy but was true; she was similar to my mother in more ways than one. She was philosophical, a ballet dancer, way too slim, beautiful and suicidal... Just like my mom.

I held her palm into mine and slipped the ring on her left hand's ring finger. She brought her hand closer to inspect that sparkly gem and smiled at me. "Thank you so much, D. This means a lot. I promise I won't lose it."

"Anything for you, idiot." But this time, she didn't pull my cheek. "It suits you. Wear it to the party tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? What party?" Her eyebrows furrowed.

"How the hell could you forget? Tomorrow is Connor's birthday!"

"Oh darn! Isn't it today? Because today's the next day already, considering it's almost morning now?" She joked. Oddly though, I could remember this statement and it seemed like an exact echo of what she had said the last time.

"Very smart. Haha." I faked a laugh to mock her.

"Don't you dare ditch him by not turning up at his party. I know things are a bit off between you two but you both matter so much to me. I don't want a slightest thing to make him unhappy on his 18th birthday, okay?"

"He is my friend too, Lyra." I made a face when she lectured me. "Or was, I guess?"

Connor and I went long back. We met on a flight long ago and since we were the only kids aboard, we enjoyed each other's company. Later we found out that both of our families were going to the same place for a trip. We lived in the same town, went to the same school — though in different classes — and both of us lost a lot that Christmas. Our lives were full of recurring coincidences like these. I kept ranting to myself to mask my true emotions, not wanting to remember that day and Lyra was a good distraction.

"Oh wait. You're looking for a job, right?" A bulb went off in my head. "Maybe Connor can help you with it. He was looking for someone with coding knowledge to help with this blog thingy? You could talk to him tomorrow if you get a chance."

She didn't answer. She was in no condition to.

She had drifted away to her happy place already. Somewhere far away into dreamland with her head resting on my shoulder and arms wrapped around me. My eyes fell on her left hand and I couldn't stop grinning.

Finally the ruby ring was resting peacefully in the place where it belonged. Just like it was always supposed to.

* * *

Random Question - What do you think of my name? LOL xD

(sorry, i had no good question to ask + hey, it's supposed to be a random question, isn't it? :P)

* * *

Author's Note - Here goes another long chapter. Tell me what you think of it. We are officially so close to the ending, I cannot-

How are you feeling? Tell me everything!

Thank you all, my silent as well as expressive readers, for I would have never been able to get through this if not for you. Stay amazing. I love you all to the moon and back <3

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