Trigger Warning / Disclaimer : Underage drinking

Nothing mattered to me right now.

I was so tired of waiting for sleep to come get me but it seemed to be in a rift with me. My patience was running out and my eyelids kept drooping, making me almost fall asleep in the middle of a birthday celebration. My mind played tricks on me and I kept yawning constantly, almost offending everyone around me at the party. What was wrong with me?

After pulling an all-nighter with Lyra a few hours back, I had no energy left in me to stand on the dance floor, let alone sway to the wild beats. Neither could I muster up the courage and patience to stay with Connor till his party winded up. We had a lot to talk about but he was popular, to say the least, and the number of people in his party left me way too anxious.

We could sort out our problems some other day — and I am sure he would come talk to me after the snowball I had just gifted him. A reminder from our old days where we used to be best buddies. Ever since I first learned how to make friends, Connor was my first one. My best friend since childhood but there were a few secrets in my life that weren't meant for anyone but me. And no matter how bad I wanted him to know, there was no way for me to tell him about Lyra.

Just like the rest of the world, he was clueless about how much I loved my best friend, Lyra, and not in a platonic way. He could never know just how much she meant to me and the lengths I would go to for her. Well, already had, technically, considering I even cheated death to spend the rest of my life with her.

And if this isn't love, I don't know what is.

Maybe his obliviousness was the reason why Connor had the audacity to ask Lyra for a dance tonight when I was sitting right next to her. After the way the events of the past few months had played out, I had somehow started believing that fate would favour me now, that Lyra would pick me this time. But she happily accepted his offer to dance, just like the last time, and they happily swooped the attention of everyone on the dance floor as he whispered things into Lyra's ear. Things that made her laugh, things that made her giggle like she was an early teenager.

I couldn't figure what made my head throb more — the smiling pair or my lack of sleep. Or probably both. I bet it was the former one though else Lyra would have been cranky too, considering we were up together. But she was fine, happily dancing with him and staying by his side earlier today at the party.

I bit the insides of my cheek when I saw him gracefully and protectively wrap his arm around Lyra's waist, as if she belonged to him and not me. The perfection with which their bodies swayed together to the tune of the song playing made a fire burn within me. It was as if Lyra and I hadn't danced together to the same song earlier today at all.

It was like I no longer mattered to her when she had better company.

Anyone on the floor could clearly see both of them were having a great time together and just the two of them would be enough to keep the party going because their eyes were fixated on each other the whole time anyway. Okay, maybe I am exaggerating a bit here but I'm tired, okay? What did Connor even keep whispering in her ear to make her laugh over and over again? Or was she just trying to please him so he would help her out with finding a job?

Looking up at the sky, I angrily stared at the emptiness because today was a new moon. Well, I had lost my moon too, considering my sky was just as barren as the one above me. Somehow, I felt like I was being stabbed in the back because this phase of Lyra never showed up with me.

Because whenever we were together, Lyra turned into a sad and depressed version of herself; while with everyone else, she was normal, happy.

Was she being fake in front of everyone else and real just in front of me? Or wait, was it me? Was I the maroon blood that rubbed off on her and tainted her perfectly chopped pineapples? Is this why, no matter what moment we shared, it always turned back to sadness? Was I the problem all along and was Lyra someone I never knew at all?

When the enclosed walls of the house started suffocating me to death, I made my way outside and found myself sitting on a bench in the backyard, looking up at the stars because the moon was nowhere to be found. It was probably brightening up someone else's sky right now, just like mine was. Glaring at the entrance of the house, where the party was being hosted, I rested my head on the bench and looked above for the moon to magically show up. But it never did.

It felt like the stars were looking at me with teary eyes and my vision started blurring again. In the past three months, I had compromised on a lot of sleep, amongst other things. I would either be sneaking out to read what Lyra had written in her notebook or thinking about ways to make her happy, awake, imagining our future together.

While doing all of this, I was in too deep and never thought twice whether it would even be logical to take my heart out and place it in someone's hands without knowing if she wanted to hold it. What if she would pull her hands away when I'd be about to hand my heart to her? What if my heart would break? Again? Would she even care about it? About me?

If she really cared, what was I doing here sitting outside, by myself, all alone? Where was she if she cared so much?

My thoughts were interrupted by a gentle tap on my shoulder. Fearful that I would have to confront a familiar face and make small talk again, I turned, only to find a stumbling Lyra standing next to me. She smiled when I noticed her and sat beside me with a thud and the liquid in her glass swirled. Wait, was she drinking?

"What the fuck are you doing?" I pulled the glass out of her hand when I smelled the alcohol on her breath. "We're underage and not supposed to drink. Who the hell is giving these drinks, anyway? Does Connor even know?"

"Shh. He knows about it." She took the glass back and mischievously took a sip from it. "In fact, he is the one who gave this to me to try. At first it was very stingy, burned my throat. But now it-"

"Shut the fuck up, Lyra!" This time, I grabbed the glass and shattered it on the edge of the bench. "You're not drinking, that's it!" Connor needed a piece of my mind too. Even if it was his birthday, he had no right to serve drinks to teenagers, let alone to my Lyra who was already starving and lightheaded.

Just when I was about to drag her back to the party to confront Connor, she made a disgusted face and smirked at me. "Hey, idiot."

"You're the one grinning like an idiot."

For some reason, that made her laugh harder. "You're so worked up, gosh you're adorable." She pulled my cheek and I stood there, flushed. "What's gotten into you today, D? You didn't even ask me for a dance. I was expecting you to-" Her hand flew to her mouth. The alcohol was really getting to her. "Oh my God, wait. Are you jealous?" She giggled like a five year old baby.

"Me? Jealous? No." I shook my head. Bad idea, everything around me spun even faster now. Until Lyra placed her hand on my chest and my heartbeats slowed at once.

"You are, you are, you are!" She chanted to herself, tripping over her own feet but I held her before she could fall.

"We need to get you home, love." I said, standing up on my feet.

"Love?" She chuckled nervously — as if she had never heard me call her that before — and ran a hand over the wrinkles on the edge of her black dress that reached her knees. "Loveeeee." She broke into a song.

Shaking my head at her silliness, I picked her up in my arms and walked her to the exit while she kept on muttering unintelligible words. Either that or singing, barely. "Wait!" She nearly screamed into my ears, making me lose my balance for a moment.

"What?" I yelled back, placing her back on her feet.

"My bag's inside." She stumbled again and played with her curls. "I'll go get it."

"No." I blurted out. I didn't have a good feeling about her going back to the party. "You wait right here, okay? Don't move. I'll get it for you." I took a few steps towards the door.

"It's black with shiny, sparkly diamonds on it." She cupped her hands around her mouth and screamed in my direction.

"I know what your purse looks like, Lyra." I skipped a step and almost fell. This girl was going to kill me one day, I swear.

Once outside, I tried to call her in spite of the loud noise blaring from the open door, surprised to find her standing right outside the gate. "Hi." She waved at me, as if we were meeting for the first time. The grin on her face made me want to click a mental picture of this moment. So innocent, so pure, so lovely. Just like my Lyra.

"Hey, stranger." I waved her purse at her, grabbing it by the strings. "Here, now let's go home."

"D?" Her smile turned into a frown. "Won't you dance with me?" She pouted and didn't wait for me to answer when I took longer than a second to think. Grabbing my hands, she placed one on her waist and intertwined her fingers with my empty hand once her purse was back to hanging by her shoulder. Her other hand rested on my shoulder and I could feel an adrenaline rush as we danced to the faint music notes we could hear outside.

It was so freaking stupid of me to even question our relationship. After all, where are Diego and Lyra meant to be if not together?

"By the way, did you notice something?" Her eyebrows popped up as she looked at me expectantly.

I scanned her from top to bottom — she looked so gorgeous in this black dress — but I couldn't see anything that was supposedly surprising apart from the fact that she had left her hair simply open, unlike most other times where she kept them pinned with those tiny diamond clips or whatever those were called. She hit my head jokingly and muttered. "Look at this hand on your shoulder, idiot."

I jerked my head way too fast but no time in the world could prepare me for what I was just about to witness. Because what I saw on her delicate fingers completely wiped away all my insecurities and made my day.

It was a ring. Not just any ring; it was a ruby studded ring. My mother's ring that I had passed on to Lyra yesterday, hoping she would one day choose to wear it. She finally did — though it didn't really match her dress — I couldn't tell why, but that gesture felt like she had accepted me in a way.

I was about to tear up and when her eyes met mine, I spotted a hint of devilish teasing in them. Gradually, but boldly, her eyes crossed the distance of my face and fixated itself on my lips, giving birth to a weird feeling in my stomach. Is this what people refer to as butterflies? Her gaze fell into my green eyes again and she nodded before leaning in, crossing all distances between and pulled me into a breathtaking kiss.

It caught me by surprise once again, especially because it was Lyra who had taken the lead and initiated the kiss but I guess I could credit the alcohol in her system for making her feel braver. I could taste it on her lips, a bitter aftertaste that felt completely new and mysterious, flowing faster through her veins than blood.

Bolder than ever, she deepened the kiss and drew something on the nape of my neck while her lips moved wildly, making it more difficult for me to keep up and mimic her actions whilst also breathing at the same time. This girl was definitely going to be the end of me someday.

But this is also what I loved most about being with Lyra.

Because she made me forget that we were standing outside someone's house right now, with hundreds of people inside who could easily witness our private moment. Since Lyra was craving for more, if the soft groans she let out were any indication, but her mind wasn't under her control due to the liquor in her system, I was the one to take the decision for her and chose to pull away.

"No, come back." She whined.

A frown formed on her face and tears pricked the corner of her eyes. I could see the direction this was taking and before she could doubt herself and question her self esteem, I answered. "Lyra, trust me, I want to. So bad."

"Then-" She moved closer again and I flinched at her sudden touch.

I struggled to explain. "Love, you're still tipsy and that's- that's not how I'm supposed to do this. You're drunk, that's not- Plus I want you to remember this when you wake up tomorrow."

She squeezed my palm with her tiny fingers and smiled knowingly. Before I could register the sudden span of events with my slow brain, she started walking away. "Hey! Don't be mad at me!" I tried to justify.

"No, it's not you, D." She turned around to look at me but our eyes never met. "You're the best." After a pause, she confessed, "Actually, I want to write something. So I won't forget it when I wake up tomorrow." Her cheeks flushed red, she opened her purse to show me the notebook, subtly telling me she carried it — and probably me too — wherever she went. "And I need to be alone when I do this because you distract me like hell." She looked at her feet, blushed and walked away.

Fuck, how is it even possible to fall for the same person over and over again? Because each time I did, I fell deeper and deeper in love with her. And the fire of this love burned my very existence for the only Diego I remained now, was Lyra's. Just hers. Because there cannot be a Diego without Lyra anymore.

Come morning, I woke up with a smile when the memories of this day greeted the back of my mind. The ghost of her lips still on mine, I could feel her hand on my shoulder and her giggles echoed in my ear. Love was probably making me clinically insane at his point because how was I hearing voices in the quiet of my room?

It was already morning and I picked up my phone to look through any unread messages from Lyra but there were none. Honestly, I didn't even remember when I was so drained and passed out on the bed without making sure Lyra had safely reached home. She was supposed to text me once she reached but maybe she just forgot?

When I was fully awake, a state of panic took over me. I had no clue where Lyra was. We had departed last night and I couldn't contact her after that. I kept calling her mobile but she didn't pick up. She hadn't even gone back home or so her dad said when I called him up to ask about Lyra's state; she was illegally drunk and I had to make sure that she didn't create a scene at home. But she never reached there.

Where was she? And why was she not picking up her phone?

Sighing, I concluded she must have gone with her friend when she would've realised how horribly her parents would react if they found her drunk in the middle of the night. I could never forget yesterday.

Some people say that you actually open up when you're drunk. If that was true, Lyra had started accepting me, which was all I wanted. Things were finally looking up. And if she liked me enough to kiss me twice already, maybe one day, she could fall in love with me too. The thought gave me butterflies and tainted my face flush red. I picked up some roses on the way— to celebrate our beautiful memories from yesterday — and glanced at the time on my mobile screen.

[Alt Text: Image of a lockscreen with a young couple's silhouette. Text reflected is — Good Morning. 7:25 a.m. Monday, 09 June 2015. Unlock prompt — Swipe up to do great things today.]

Shit, I was terribly late. It was the flower vendor who ended up taking more time than needed to pack a simple bouquet of roses. Well, in his defence, I was the one who took all the time to pick out the roses with the deepest colour. After all, my Lyra likes maroon roses, not red ones.

Now, I would have to stand for over twenty more minutes outside the school building and wait for the next lecture to begin before getting to enter inside. Great, just great. To kill time, I absent-mindedly started looking around when a strange déjà vu feeling took over me, causing my stomach to twist up into a knot.

My heart was literally pounding as if I had come back from a 500 metre sprint and I could feel cold sweat trickle down my forehead. Why was everything so familiar yet so different? I was still confused and hazy from the energy loss.

The sun was shining bright, up in the sky, and I could feel its warmth on me — blurring my eyesight till all I saw were black spots. I placed a hand over my head and glared at the sun above, only to find a slim figure sitting on the terrace. Wait, I knew who this was!

Hell no. I had to stop this right now. This was not right. No, no, no.

"Lyra!" I screamed on top of my voice and saw the girl shiver as I startled her. Recognising me, she stood up and waved at me with a smile on her face. "Hey, D! Late, again?" She giggled. "When will you learn to be on time?"

I tried to talk to her but she didn't listen to a single word I had to say.

"It feels so good here, D. I swear this is my favourite place to write. The daylight, the breeze, the flowers around... Now whenever I want to write in this book, I'll come here and write." She took a deep breath and waved the book in the air, proudly showing it off to me.

"Lyra, love, please come down. Please." I literally begged. Though things were different this time, my instincts were screaming in every possible direction.

"I need to tell you something first." She whispered this time but I could hear it.

"Okay. Say it. And come down after that, okay?"

She nodded.

I encouraged her. "Go on."

"Diego, I love you." She blurted out, biting her bottom lip as she stared right into my eyes.

I couldn't explain the joy that filled my heart. Suddenly it all felt right, again. After all, this was different; this was my second chance. And it felt like this was the only real moment; the only one that was supposed to matter. The true ending that was supposed to happen that day, the ending that we both deserved.

Like a ball spinning in vacuum, I could feel all the memories of our love rush to me. Of how our hands would entwine, how we would always find each other, how our lips would dance together to an unknown tune. Of how our hearts would beat together forever, till the very end of time. "I love you, too, Lyra. So freaking much. More than you imagine, Lyra! You don't even know how much you mean to me."

After all, I had defeated death to let our love win this time. We fought this battle together. And we won!

The satisfaction and joy on her face was unmistakable. After all, that's how love was. A successful love could make you find heaven on earth while a failed one would make you despise life itself. This was it, this was our love story. And finally, we got the happy ending we needed.

Though I knew this time was different and magically special, Lyra was still standing really close to the edge and I was naturally concerned since her eyelids were droopy and red. Once bitten, twice shy for a reason.

"Please come down, Lyra." I spread my arms wide, letting her know I was waiting for her to hug me back. But who knew she'd be in such a hurry to come and hug me?

She tried to turn back with a jerk and twisting her feet, lost her balance. Somehow, the alcohol got to her again and she tripped, slipping off the edge. Her fall to the ground was quick and I was dumbstruck, just like the last time, recalling all our pleasant memories. Her hands on my shoulder as we danced, the way she adored the notebook I gave her and carried it everywhere, the way she confessed her love for me a few minutes before she...

It all came crashing down along with tears and Lyra's fragile body. It took merely seconds for her face to make contact with the rough ground, smudging blood all over and it rushed out of her injured face. The scene was overwhelming, to say the least, though I had already lived it once before. As soon as she fell, blood started oozing out of her body and she was completely covered in blood. But maybe this time she wouldn't die. Maybe this time, she could be saved. This was our new chance for a reason, right?

Her last words kept echoing my head like a haunted whisper, giving me the slightest bit of hope again.

Diego, I love you.

This was not the end. Our story was not over yet. The battle still continued and we would fight till the very end. Until none of us could hold on, until both of us were united at the hands of fate again. Because ours was supposed to be entangled like a knot for we were never supposed to be the lines on a graph paper. We were two threads of yarn, knotted so deeply into each other that if we were pulled apart, both of us would break. Together.

I lifted her face gently and turned her around, resting her face on my thigh. "Lyra, love, can you hear me?" I squeezed her cheeks with both my hands, only for more blood to flow out.

Her grey eyes opened slightly as she smiled, looking at me for as long as she could before her eyelids shut again. For the last and final time. Because our journey had ended right here, once again.

Neither could I stop the flowing blood nor the rain of tears that fell from my eyes. It felt like the sand was slipping out of my hands. I felt helpless, like I was losing control over everything. I felt betrayed, like this was really the end. Again.

But our ending was supposed to be a happy one.

This was not how it was supposed to end.

________

THE END.

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Lol, not really :P

Author's Note: Yes, yes, I know. I deserve all the swear words coming at me. For now. I won't ask what you think of this chapter since I have a feeling I know already? Raise your hand if you saw this coming though. Do you still think Diego and Lyra will make it together this time?

All I'm saying is... this isn't the ending. Or is it? *shrugs* read ahead and find out.

Update: RIP to all the beyond amazing inline comments I lost while rewriting this chapter (while turning this story into a novel). You will forever be missed :')

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