Author's Note:

Hey, guys. Ummm. Hmm. Lately, I can't seem to find the words I want to say up here. Oh, how about this.

Please do comment down below what you want their baby's gender to be. Let's just take a little poll vote. Remember, your vote counts. 

Or somewhere along those lines. -__-

Plus, HANBH will be ending soon and Robbie's story will begin. After Robbie's story, I have one last story for this series. Hopefully, I don't lose sight of how I want them to go by.

Anyway, this chapter is dedicated to kawaii-usachan for reading, voting, and commenting. Ugh, you don't know how much it makes me smile to see you do all three. Hahaha. Thanks so much for that! ^_^

As for the next dedication, I'll be giving it to *drum roll please* ... JJDaemon! Thank you so, so much for the votes and reads. Hahaha. The next chapter is all for you!

That's all.

yaoiChibi out! Please~ 

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"What the fuck was that?"

I cringed at the angry tone he had used on me, the familiar feeling of fear crawling up my skin as I remembered the outburst he had with Michael. Okay, so it wasn't a bright idea to let my eyes wander to another man's. Bad move on my part. My bad. 

"Look, before you go ballistic on me, hear me out." I started, swallowing the huge lump that was forming in my throat. Jordan was furious as he looked at me, his eyes sharper than the last time he was angry. "I was just using the guy as a target. Nothing else. It's just that it's been so easy to get you to do what I say, not that I think it's a bad thing, but I needed someone who was reluctant. The guy means nothing, Jordan. That's why you should calm the fuck down and stop scaring the shit out of me."

My lips trembled from the intensity of his glare, but my heart soared. Jordan, jealous? That's like saying the Atlantic Ocean and the Pacific Ocean is a huge body of water called the Indian Ocean. I can't believe he's going crazy from someone as insignificant as that guy. Hell, I didn't even know the bastard's name.

"Then, why now? Why pull this stunt off on your last job?" Jordan seethed, his fists clenching on top of his knees. His eyes were still on me, but the intensity of the glare had lessened. Thank goodness. I would've gouged his eyes out if he had kept it up. 

"Jordan, it's the last job. I want everything done correctly. And you spouting nonsense like this is kind of stupid. So, stop it. What I do want that mouth of yours to spout is the reason why you're acting like a total idiot with the silent guess what I'm thinking from the expressions on my face game." I stood up, walking in front of him. My hands were on my hips as I stood firmly, ignoring the numbness my legs were feeling. 

I would have asked him to help, but the menacing glare I was giving would lose its meaning. 

"What are you talking about?" He stalled, averting his eyes from mine. It was so obvious that he was trying to feign innocence. Do I look stupid or something to him? I'm pregnant, not losing my brain cells.

Jordan remained silent, his face was going back to that blank mask he was using on me quite often. It hurt to know that he had something he wasn't happy about and that something was regarding me.

And while I kept thinking what went wrong, my heart was getting heavier as I think if this was a test or something. Oh dear God in the heavens, I swear I'll be a good parent so please tell me what the fuck is going on.

P.S. I'm sorry for swearing. I'm just desperate.

"Why, Jordan? Why are you acting like a bitch on her period? Your mood swings are seriously stressing me out and that's not good for our baby. Just tell me what this is all about. Are you tired of me or something? Have you finally realized I wasn't the perfect man you thought I was?" I screamed, tears falling down my cheeks. The realization that Jordan might have gotten tired of my willful self was scaring me shitless. 

I had thoughts scattering in my head that made me want to break down. Thoughts like he had found someone better than me, he had fallen out of love for me, or he was just plain tired. The tears had fallen even more as I sniffed my snot. God, my make-up was scattered all over my face and I was sure I looked like a mess.

"Just tell me, Jordan. Did I make you regret falling in love with me? Regret that we are having a child together?" I sniffed, wiping away the stray tears that had made it to my chin. It was obvious I was acting stupid like this because of the hormones. And I could only hope that it was enough to pull out whatever Jordan was thinking.

However, he was still silent. His lips in a tight line as he kept his eyes from me. If my heart was soaring from his jealousy, now it felt like it had lost its flight power and was falling down to its imminent death. My tears continued to fall and I just didn't know what to do anymore.

"I want to go home, Jordan. I'm tired. Take me home." I sighed out, wiping the remnants of my tears away. My eyes couldn't look at him anymore without tearing up and so, I just wobbled my way to the door. 

Slowly, I opened the door and called for Raphael who was, thankfully, hanging out just a few steps away. His eyes were questioning but I was in no mood to entertain them. Raphael noticed and I was glad that he did. He held me carefully, guiding me back to the car with care. My face was wiped off any emotion and I knew it was hard to tell what I was thinking of. 

I entered the car and minutes later, Jordan had followed. He was quiet as he placed the bag between us, making me want to go for another round of crying. But, I held myself together. I had to. If not, then I would just look pathetic and feminine and that was the last thinkg I wanted to happen to me.

"So, umm. What're you guys planning to do today?" Raphael started, trying to get a conversation in place when all I wanted to do was wallow in the growing hatred I was having for Jordan. Damn. If it came down to it, I was going to make sure he was never going to see his child. "I was planning for an early dinner, you guys want to join me?"

"I just want to go home, Raphael." I answered in a clip tone, grabbing the box of wet tissues. Taking one tissue, I wiped my face gingerly. The foundation was coming off easily after all that crying and I didn't want to fuss over how I looked right now.

The drive was long and quiet, my head trying to come up with different scenarios of what I was to say to Jordan. And as we entered the driveway, I could feel the dread returning to my chest as Raphael quickly pulled open the door.

"Baby, just call me, okay. Me or Elaine. I'll pick you up quicker than you can say bald monkey with a red dildo." Raphael whispered, opening the front door as he led me inside. I nodded dumbly at him, a small smile on my lips as I wobbled inside the house. 

He deposited me on the couch in the living room as Jordan followed inside, his eyes on the ground as he made his way. I tried not to look at him, keeping in mind that the bastard had this coming. He wanted to play drity like this, then I was going to humor him.

Raphael watched us quietly, his concern obvious as he was reluctant to leave the house. Looking at him, I nodded as I silently thanked him for his concern. I was a big boy and I could handle a little confrontation. Although the baby, not so much.

Jordan had made his way to the bedroom to drop the bag there, coming out quietly as he stood in front of me. I looked up, feeling the same anger that was boiling in my chest earlier. His eyes were blank and it hurt my chest in so many ways I thought wasn't possible.

Honestly, what the flying fuck was going on?

"Come on. Let me bring you to the bedroom so you can rest." He muttered, reaching his hand out in an attempt to pull me off the furniture that was hurting my back. I frowned at him, waiting for him to break the ice or talk about what just happened in the dressing room. 

I wasn't expecting an apology, I was expecting an explanation. All he had to do was stop acting like a total douchebag and tell me if I did something wrong.

My hands reluctantly reached for him, my legs feeling like jelly as I was pulled up to my feet. His arm wrapped around my waist, carefully making sure I had a grip on myself. His other hand held me gently as we walked all the way to the bedroom. I would've smiled and flirt with him like I usually do, but today was an exception. A huge exception.

I laid on the bed, turning to my side as I scootched farther to the side when I felt the bed dip from his weight. He sighed loudly, the obvious exhaustion in his tone as he laid on the bed. There was no talking. No sound at all except for the light breathing from our noses. It was awkward and tense and I didn't think I could stand it. 

"I'm sorry."

My breath hitched as he spoke those two words as gentle as possible, my tears beginning another round of waterfall. I sniffed out loud, whimpering as I waited for him to speak.

"It wasn't your fault." He began, sliding closer to me so that I was feeling the warmth his body radiated. My body curled up, hugging my round belly as I waited for him to come closer and continue talking.

Quietly, his hands slid down my stomach and laced with my own. His chest covered my back as he pulled me into his embrace. I wasn't playing hard to get because I wanted him to assure me everything was alright. 

That I wasn't going to be left alone.

"I'm sorry." Jordan whispered, burying his head in the crook of my neck. "It's just. I don't know. For the past few months, I've been feeling like this. Like I'm not fit to be a father yet."

A loud whimper escaped my lips, the feeling of dread returning to my chest. Damn. I feel so horrible, really horrible. Was I strong enough to raise a child in a broken home? For starters, Jordan and I weren't even married. The asshole could leave me in a heartbeat and it wouldn't cost a dime. 

"No, I didn't mean it like that." He raised his head, pulling me closer in his embrace. It didn't help that my hormones had sunk into depression, or was it just me? "I mean, I love you so much and I only want to provide for you guys. How can I consider myself a man when I can't even prove my worth by supporting you guys?"

"I already told you I didn't need your money." I cried out, my voice breaking a bit from the tears that continued to slide down my cheeks. This? This was what him got all prissy and shit? What in the hell was he thinking? Didn't I tell him that I didn't give a fuck?

"I know. I know. I know. You did tell me." Jordan answered, his serious demeanor radiated in every word he said. His arms had tightened their hold on me as I tried to calm down. Crying was stupid, that was what I used to believe in. Now, I see crying as a relief from the stress of pregnancy and Jordan acting like a complete idiot. When I get this baby out of me, I am going to beat the crap out of him for making me cry all the time.

"I told you and you still don't believe me. Do you think I enjoy playing stupid games like this? Just because I'm pregnant and my hormones are all over the damn place, doesn't give you the right to fuck me over just because you're going through pre-parental stress. Damn it, Jordan. I'm not a fucking invincible guy that can handle all this without crying. You should know damn well that my tears are in auto-pilot. And yet, you go ahead and add extra stress to me while your baby's still in here." I said.

My hands clutched my stomach tighter, praying that this whole thing be over. Okay, seriously, Jordan was just asking for a beating. I hope and pray to whatever gods there are up in heaven that my baby be able to beat the fucking hell out of his or her father.

The air around us had thickened, like it was suffocating to breathe and that wasn't a good thing. My tears had stopped flowing from the long silence that ensued. It was pure torture to wait until he spoke, but I guess he was still digesting the information or whatever.

"Jordan, our relationship is young and, besides that, we're having a baby. It's going to be a tough road ahead and I need you there with me. And I'm sure by the time I give birth, I won't be this heap of emotional mess." I whispered to him. 

Jordan hummed in reply, the vibrations causing me to stir in his arms. It wasn't uncomfortable, actually it made me want to smile. Ugh. Damn hormones were making me cry one moment ago, now I felt like smiling because his chest was rumbling and tickling my back. 

I don't want to get pregnant anymore. Damn it.

"Yeah. I know. I'm sorry. It's just that when you told me Riley was an old lover that pushed you to land in the hospital, I've been feeling restless." He explained, his tone quiet and low. It was like he didn't want me to hear it. 

My eyebrow raised itself, confusion settling in as I tried to look at him. The bastard, however, dug his face on my neck so I couldn't see him if I wanted to. His beard was scratching my skin and I was getting irritated with this confusing conversation. Can't it just end already?

"What about Riley?" I asked, confused at whatever he was implying. This is just fucking crazy. "Riley's just a friend now. How many times do I have to repeat to you and Michael? Do I look like I'm still in love with him? Tell me. Do I? I can't fucking believe this. Don't you trust me?"

My elbow connected with his gut painfully, his grunt of pain reverberating on my neck. The fucking bastard thought I was still interested in Riley? For fuck's sake, the guy has two kids with the same man that broke his heart and is now his husband. Plus, I was pregnant with his child. Wasn't that enough proof already?

"I trust you. I do. It's just. He has his own company. He's so much better than me in so many ways that I can't even understand why you're with me." He grunted out suddenly, his grip on me loosening since I had seriously elbowed him. The bastard deserved it and I wasn't going to apologize for that. He could chalk it up to pregnancy blues or whatever the fuck will make him sleep at night.

"So? What's wrong with him having his own company and being an ex-lover of mine?" A sudden surge of strength pushed me up the bed, getting Jordan off my body as I looked at him confusedly. This was really, really stupid. Fuck.

"If you could get someone like him, why are you still with someone like me? Why do you keep insisting you love me when I can't even give you that kind of luxury? It makes me feel angry that it always has to be you that pays the bills. Hell, you're still paying for my salary and I still don't fucking get it. I really don't." He said, laying flat on his back with his hand on his face. As I was about to speak, he interjected with a desperate tone in his voice. "Why choose me? I can't even guarantee that I'd be able to give you an easy life."

I was silent, contemplating his words. Is this the stress that comes with parenting? Does he feel like he's less of a man compared to Riley, even when Riley was the one giving birth to Michael's children? God, why is everything so damn complicated?

"We already had this talk, right? We did, didn't we?" I asked, combing my hair back in a tired manner. I felt him rustle on the bed and it made me look at him, a solemn feeling settling on my face. "Jordan, I'm wealthy enough to support us. If you want a company, then after you finally marry me, I'll let you handle all my businesses. But I don't think that's what you want from this relationship."

He sighed out loud, pushing himself up the bed and settled next to me. I watched as he crossed his long and strong legs quietly. The times I've held on to them as I bounced on top of him made me blush wildly. Damn. We were having a moment and my random horny cravings were kicking in. Damn it.

"No, that's not what I want. Besides, I'm supposed to be a surgeon, not a goddamn businessman." He finished, his eyes looking at me finally. I noticed his eyes spelled his many sleepless nights. Apparently, this was a big deal to him and I had to treat it like one. I didn't want this to be the reason we break up.

"Jordan, you know, I never thought I'd get over Riley. I mean, I seriously loved him. I used to see myself waiting for him at the altar or him walking around with a huge belly. But, now, I only see myself with you. It's more than what I used to see with him. It's gone even deeper in the future, like 10 or 20 years from now." I said, staring straight into his eyes. My voice was a bit hoarse since I was crying like a girl moments ago. A smile twitched my lips as I looked at him lovingly.

"I see us running around this house with the kids yelling and laughing. It's like I finally understand how crazily in love I am with you. You're greater than Riley, even if you don't believe it. You make me happy all the time, despite the fact that you act like a blank mat with other people that it's embarrassing at some point. But, I still love you. I'm so in love with you that I don't think I'll be able to move on if you left me. As for the money, don't you think it's great that I love you even when you don't have that much on you? Would you want me to fall in love with you because you were rich or something?"

His eyes widened slightly, his surprise obvious all over his face. It was like he thought I didn't see anything with him. What? Was my love so weak he didn't think I saw anything past this first kid? Yeah, I know I did say I didn't want to get pregnant again. But, I wouldn't say no to a little blessing. 

"You see us going that far?" He asked, completely surprised as he kept his stare on me. My smile faltered a bit. His question felt like he didn't see us going that far and it hurt to know I was the only one delusional.

"I do. Why? Don't you?" I asked, my hands running across my belly as I felt the baby squirm a bit. He or she must've felt constricted. I don't blame him or her. My stomach felt tighter as we continued and I was sure that this wasn't a good thing. As soon as we're done here, I'm going to the doctor's just to make sure.

"I do too. It's just I never expected you to see something that far with me." He scratched his nape, a small smile on his lips as his eyes went downcast.

"Can you stop with this I'm not good enough for you crap? If you really want to keep me, finish school and be a surgeon already. Then, when you have enough money, buy me a ring, take me out to dinner, and finally ask me to marry you. I swear to God I'll say yes as long as you ask nicely." I leant my head on his shoulder as I continued to rub my stomach. 

"You want to marry me? Even when I'm not sure if I can earn as much as Riley does?" He asked.

I looked up, my brows furrowing as I pushed myself back. This issue really needs to be addressed.

"What is it with you and money? Did someone tell you off because you can't support me or something? Just because you got me pregnant doesn't make me less of a man. I can support the both of us plus this little guy just fine. I'll ask help when I can't do it anymore. I told you I needed your care, that your child needed care. I don't want to be the type of family that just floats away because you think the only way you can fulfill your role as the father is to pay the bills. It's stupid and I don't want to sacrifice time wasted on work." I huffed out, crossing my arms as I looked at him. Seriously, money does make the world go round. But, there are more things than the thickness of your wallet.

"I'm just insecure, alright. And I'm sorry. I guess the stress that we'll be seeing the baby soon is getting to me. Plus school is making me restless too. So, I guess I just needed to vent things out. Plus, knowing that an ex-lover of yours is as perfect as Riley, you can't blame me for getting a bit insecure." He said, raising his arm to wrap around my shoulder. I leaned into him and let myself be wrapped in his warmth and scent.

"This better be the last time you pull shit like this, Jordan. I don't care if you're stressed from school, you have no right to think I don't love you just because you don't have a dime to your name. Next time you're stressed, strip and wait for me in bed. I'll make you go so crazy that you'll relax and let everything go. I'll even listen to your troubles as long as you satisfy me." I teased, rubbing my nose on his chest lovingly. 

He chuckled lightly, my smile getting bigger as Ilistened to his hearty tone. Damn. I'm so in love with him that he doesn't even know how much he affects me. 

"I'll make sure to do that as long as you don't provoke me by looking at other guys. This is the last time I'll let you off the hook for doing that. I'm an extremely jealous person and you don't want to know that side of me."  He smirked, leaning down to me as he lowered his lips to mine. 

And in that moment, I realized something. Maybe it wasn't so bad to have him jealous for me.