A Peculiar One / Ichigo x Rukia (Bleach)

❝ Have...have you ever thought about dying? ❞

Inspired by this image.

DISCLAIMER: There are mentions of suicide in this. Please read with caution.

Author's Note:

I'm back with another oneshot for my otps. I guess you can say this is my attempt to be all deep. So, I guess, I tried. This is weird for me, to be writing, two days in a row. Haha, this is what Bleach does to me (Or trying to avoid finishing the arc). Hope you guys enjoy this!
- Kathy

***

RUKIA KUCHIKI was a strange girl. Everyone knew about her. They knew about her strange nature. Even Rukia knew it. And despite the criticism, snickering, and eye rolling she would receive, Rukia didn't change. She stayed the same.

            She was a new transfer student to their high school. Her brother was a wealthy CEO of a company in the states. She was sent to Japan to care for their sickly grandmother, who did not have much time left. Soon, when her grandmother passes, Rukia would choose whether to return to the states or remain in Japan.

            How did Ichigo Kurosaki know all this? Simple. Rukia lived in the same apartment complex as him. Their apartment rooms two doors away from each other. The two would bike home together. Ichigo in the front seat while Rukia sat in the back of the bicycle. Their conversations were minimal, short, and similar to typical small talk to pass the brief time they had together.

            Sometimes, they rode together in silence. Rukia would stare at the river, the same river that brought his mother's death, and ask her usual obscure questions. Today was no different. Except, Ichigo was not in the mood for typical small talk. He wore a scowl on his face with his eyebrow slightly arched. Rukia understood this immediately as she quietly placed herself on her usual spot on the bicycle.

            "Kurosaki?! Since when did you and Kuchiki start seeing each other?" Their classmate, Abarai Renji, called out to him.

            "Oi, Abarai!" Came Kira Izuru.

            "Shut up! I'm her ride home. That's all." Ichigo quickly defended.

            "Better give her a goodbye kiss after you drop her off!" Abarai mocked.

            Ichigo's fists were clenched and his heart pounding with rage. He knew this was all just fun and jokes for the guys and he was usually one to mind his own business. But why was he getting so angry with this? The thought of him and Rukia? Never. Only in their wildest dreams.

            "Kurosaki-kun. I... I can walk today." Rukia said with her quiet voice. She got off her spot and gave a small bow to him. "You don't have to bike me home anymore."

            This surprised Ichigo. What was she thinking? By the time she arrived home, it'd be nighttime already. A bike home was around an hour but on foot, it'd take another hour or so. He watched her as she continued to make her way along the path, silently cursing himself for being such a coward. Ichigo gave Abarai and crew his usual glare, before setting out.

            "Tch, baka. It's going to be night by the time you reach home. Get back on the bicycle."

            Rukia opened her mouth to argue but once she saw the bitter look on Ichigo's face, she stopped herself. There was no need to provoke more anger within the young boy.

            "Kurosaki-kun... Have... have you ever thought about dying?"

            This discussion wasn't new to the two. Rukia would often talk about her sickly grandmother, estimating the amount of days she had left in this world. Death wasn't a taboo for them, especially when they both experienced it firsthand.

            "Have you ever thought about how you'll die? Every second, every hour, someone dies. It was either a peaceful one. A tragic one. Or forced by their own hand."

            "Why do you think about stuff like this? It's depressing... It's no wonder people seem to stay away from you... Is this the first thing you ask to someone you meet?"

            "You learn a lot about a person from their death wish. It uncovers bits and pieces of their life story. If they've had a successful life, they want to die in peace. If they take their own life, that means they were trying to escape from something. I'm not sure about tragic deaths, but surely, it must mean they wanted to continue living."

            "Boy, you have a strange way of figuring out people."

            "I wish to die a tragic death. There are not a lot of things in my life I'm quite proud of, but there isn't anything I want to escape from. I just want to show that I'm someone who wants to continue living."

            Ichigo glanced over his shoulder, seeing Rukia leaned back, her face toward her afternoon sky. The wind blowing through her raven black hair, her lavender eyes filled with such thought and wonder.

            "Baka. If you spend all your time wondering how you'll die, you won't be able to live. If you want to live, stop thinking about those things. Life... life is short. You never know your own expiration date. Cruel thing to leave out, huh? The most important part is the one we don't know about."

            "Ah. I see."

            Ichigo's scowl left his face, his anger had faded within him. He stopped the bicycle and got off. Rukia sat quietly, unsure of his actions. The apartment was still about twenty minutes away, why did he stop so suddenly?

            The orange haired boy stood by the riverbank. He had paused their bike ride to catch the sunset. The sky decorated in pinks, oranges, and a hint of yellow. What a sight.

            "Rukia, you going to join me or not?"

            "Oh, sorry, Kurosaki-kun!"

            The young girl realized her slow thinking and jumped off her seat. She took a spot beside the tall boy, her own eyes taking in the beautiful scenery.

            "Stop with the last name basis. We've been biking home together for two months and you still call me by my last name."

            Rukia silently nodded and the two were greeted by their usual silence. The sun began it's usual descent. A slow dance within a sky of warm colors. It reminded Ichigo of his mother. She was the sun, the center of their family. Everything revolved around her. Ever since she passed, the balance was unsteady, but slowly repairing.

            "Kuro—I mean, Ichigo... Why do you live? What does this life offer you? Death provides closure, maybe some form of certainty and eerie peace. What does life have for you?"

            Ichigo gave a sigh and pointed at the setting sun. "I live for that. The beautiful sun that rises every morning and sets every night. It reminds me of my mom. She gave life to everything she touched. I want to do the same. I want people to live."

            "Rukia... Do you wish to die?"

            The question was sudden. Ichigo didn't know much about Rukia's homelife besides her sick grandmother and her state bound brother. From his own perspective, Rukia didn't seem to have many friends. It all seemed to be small talk, small talk to pass the time so she can be by herself again. A peculiar girl with thoughts of death.

            Ichigo was taken aback by her silence, soon followed by small sniffles and choked back sobs.

            "I....I.... I wish to live. I'm scared. I'm terrified of death. But I think about it all the time. By thinking about it, I thought my fears about it would ease."

            The sun finished it's descent as night's darkness began to cloud the empty skies. It was enough darkness to conceal the two faces. Ichigo could see the tiny girl beside him, shaking uncontrollably from her own sobs. He wasn't one to provide human contact but he wasn't sure on what to do in the moment. Just stand idly by and watch her cry? No, he wasn't that heartless.

            The distance between them had disappeared significantly. His own arms wrapped around her body. Her tears staining his white school shirt while her shakiness came to a stop.

            Rukia Kuchiki was a strange girl to say the very least. She thought of death as an ordinary topic. A topic others would find unsettling and morbid. She thought about her own death, she thought about others' deaths. It wasn't a strange fascination, but rather a defense mechanism. Think more about death, the less scary it was. Be more exposed to it, the less worrisome it became. But despite her thoughts, a fire fueled inside of her, burning a passion to live.

            "You can't live if death is all you think about. If you think about the end, how will you enjoy the journey? Your grandmother wants you to live. Your brother wants you to live... I want you to live."

            Her violet, tearstained eyes looked up at him. Ichigo couldn't quite read her reaction due to the darkness that concealed them. Was she surprised? Taken aback by his comment? Heck, even he surprised himself with his words.

            "You... You want me... to live?"

            "Baka. It may not seem like it, but I-I enjoy our bike rides together. Besides, if you're gone, there will be an empty seat behind me."

            More tears came as she lowered her head. Her body shook once again. But she looked back up at him with a smile. A smile captured perfectly by the moonlight. Tears stained her cheeks but Ichigo swore she couldn't of looked any more beautiful.

            "Thank you, Ichigo. Thank you."