I was so high, I did not recognize
The fire burning in her eyes
The chaos that controlled my mind
Whispered goodbye as she got on a plane
Never to return again but always in my heart

- This Love "Maroon 5"

i still remember.

" only if you knew how much I liked you "

Platform 9¾ was loud and busy, the first time Heather had seen it, but apparently, it had been such a way every time the couple of children standing across them had come to drop off or pick up one of their siblings. When Heather was younger, she used to dream of taking a train to somewhere far away, someplace magical to take her away from Lily, where she had her own identity. She liked the idea of being taken away to somewhere better, without the screaming of her parents about how much she had disappointed them or the way everyone expected her to be smart like Lily or fun to be with like Petunia. Mostly Heather just wanted to get away from the disappointment.

Now she was finally here, with her sister but standing in front of one of the train's entrances that was indeed taking her away to a magical place, and a mixed feeling of excitement and anxiety curled in her stomach. People pushed past her and Lily with suitcases and cages full of creatures. The scarlet train was as beautiful as it had been in her dreams ever after she had heard about this school. She'd worried she'd imagined the train so great she'd be disappointed when she finally saw it, but it turned out to be even bigger and more glorious than she had imagined.

"Heather, come on." A hand grabbed the trunk from her, and her sister came into view behind her. Lily's bright red hair was pulled back into one braid and she was already dressed in her robes. Moving past her, she handed over her trunk to the wizard wearing the classic conductor clothes in a bright scarlet to match the train.

Now Heather only carried her small leather satchel. The color of it was a rich tawny brown, and it was beaten in from years of use but her initials were stamped clear.

Inside the satchel held her brand new wand, a pocket of money, and her notebook. She almost always carried it with her, the soft bouncing against her hip a familiar feeling as she entered the train car.

"I am going to go sit with Severus so go find your friends," Lily instructed her before she turned on her heel, heading towards the back of the train where the greasy-haired boy stared at them.

Heather didn't bother to mention to her sister that she didn't actually have any friends yet. She watched her sister disappear past the bustling students and felt, for the first time, a strange twang in her heart. Lily also wanted a life away from her sister and to her, Hogwarts seemed like a new fresh start.

Heather was on her own now. Not completely, of course, but she'd have to find her own way at Hogwarts. Seven years was all she had to leave a mark until she was off on her own in the world. Hopefully, the tensions between the dark wizards and the ministry would end soon and Heather could be an Auror or something like that. She liked the thought of fighting dark wizards, even though all she knew about them was from the stories Lily had told her from her books.

Heather wandered slowly down the hallway, peering in at the filled compartments. Turning back to look where her sister disappeared, she was almost knocked off her feet by another student.

She caught her balance and looked up, expecting to curse out some older student, but was met with a boy that looked maybe like he was her age, perhaps a second year if not a first. He had rich tan skin and a mess of black hair on his head that made her think he'd never once brushed it. He looked like a fine piece of art that she once saw in a museum.

"You better watch where you're going or one of the older kids will hex you," The boy warned her, set slightly on edge by the girl's carelessness. He fixed the thin round glasses that sat askew on the bridge of his nose, before standing to his full height, which was a good inch shorter than she was.

"Ha, I'll hex 'em right back," Heather said confidently. She frowned slightly after saying that— she didn't know any hexes yet.

"I wouldn't count on it, you need to be able to walk if you want to curse anyone."

There was a little awkward silence between them that followed.

"Sorry about that," He rubbed the back of his neck, his cheeks turning a little pink, "I wasn't paying attention. I was looking for my friend."

"Oh, er...do you want help?" It wasn't often she talked to people she didn't know, much less offer her help, but Petunia said that the friends she had made in her first year, ended up dictating how the rest of her school years went. Maybe it would do her some good introducing herself to a few kids, so she could get on some even footing before the start of school. Lily already had a friend (as creepy as both she and Petunia found him) and Heather didn't appreciate being left behind.

"Really?" The boy grinned, "Alright, er... he's sort of pudgy, about this tall, and he's got blonde hair."

"What's his name?"

"Peter, oh and I'm James by the way." He pushed his glasses up and reached out a hand. It was a firm handshake, though his hands were soft and warm. "Potter, sorry, James Potter."

"Heather Evans."

James Potter grinned at her, a crooked grin with a chipped tooth right in the front. She smiled back at him.

"He's going to be on the train, just have to find out where he's hiding," He moved in front of her, leading the way down the train.

They made their way through a dozen compartments, standing on their tiptoes to check into them. Students of all ages sat together in each compartment, talking loudly and laughing in unison. She wondered what each of her trips on the Hogwarts Express would look like. Which students already on this train would she become friends with?

It wasn't until they reached one of the last train cars that they peered in to find a small boy with sandy blonde hair. James moved the sliding door back excitedly, "Peter!"

"James!" Peter turned, he looked almost relieved to see the boy, "I was scared you went to another compartment."

Peter was a short boy, with straight sandy hair and a slightly pinkish face that hadn't lost most of its baby fat. He wore tan pants and a gray sweater that he picked at nervously.

The train lurched forward then, sending them both crashing into the side of the door.

"Everyone into compartments! Come on! Come on!" The conductor's voice boomed throughout the train and they scrambled to sit into the cushioned seats.

Peter looked questioningly at Heather and then back at James, but before James could offer his own introduction of the girl she stuck out her hand. Peter looked slightly taken aback but shook it.

"I'm Heather Evans," Peter's hands were clammy, and his grip was a lot less confident than James had been. "So how do you two know each other?"

"We went to primary school together, we've been friends forever." James supplied. Heather wished she knew someone else coming to Hogwarts, someone who wasn't her sister or Severus. She imagined it would be a lot less nerve-wracking if you had a friend, but unfortunately for her, she was picky when it came to companions and it wasn't like Lily and Snape were going to go out of their way to make Hogwarts better for her.

A loud bang came from beside her, and the sliding door rattled as a pale boy with wavy black hair entered. He tittered in the door frame awkwardly for a few moments, glancing at them, showing off his stark gray eyes.

"Er— Could I sit here? Everywhere else is full and the trains' about to start off." The boy asked, fiddling with the sleeves of his shirt. He wore exceedingly formal clothes for the occasion, a white button-down and a black vest with gold buttons. She would have worn something just as fancy, but her family wouldn't have dressed her in such a way for a train ride to school, especially when Lily was traveling in her robes.

"Sure!" James said invitingly. She shifted a little in her seat because she wasn't so sure about the number of people now in the compartment. James and Peter were unsettling enough when she didn't like strangers. She'd had the chance to give James a once over and he clearly trusted Peter but she wasn't sure about this newcomer.

The boy's eyes lit up at the invitation and he grinned at them, obviously glad he'd finally found a place to spend the trip. He sat at the edge of the seat across from James and Heather. He seemed restless. Not the way James was, she was pretty sure he was just excited to get to Hogwarts, but this boy radiated built-up energy, his glossy black dress shoe tapped impatiently on the carpeted floor of the compartment. Even his smile seemed a bit maniac, not in a bad way, but she thought the teachers might have to look after him with a special eye.

Good enough, maybe he could distract them for whenever she slipped up. "I'm Sirius Black."

She recognized the name, "I've heard of your family." She said, proud to remember something from the old book of bloodlines both her parents had insisted she read months ago. "You're part of the sacred twenty-eight."

The boy grimaced, and Heather immediately regretted saying anything. She remembered that the Black family had a long line of dark wizards and witches. They had a special hatred for wizards with no-magic parents. A part of her was suddenly scared. She didn't want this ball of nervous energy for a human against her.

"Yeah, but I don't support what they do, you know, all the dark magic stuff," Sirius muttered, looking down at his polished shoes. The red-head wondered how anyone that young could ever think any differently than what their parents had taught them.

"Oh, well I'm Heather Evans." She introduced herself, "I don't particularly think it sounds that rather flattering but my parents always had a thing with flowers. They named my other sisters, Lily and Petunia.

"I'm James Potter and this is Peter Pettigrew," Peter waved shyly, and she thought maybe he too was a little off-put with the new friends James had invited.

"My parents told me not to go round with the Potters, hope we can be friends." Sirius's eyes flickered with mischief. He then turned to her "I've never heard the name Evans before? Are you muggle-born?"

"Yes," She responded, "But dear me if that's going to be any trouble! When Professor McGonagall visited my parents, she insisted that there wouldn't be much problem about it."

"Oh you'll be fine as long as you stay clear of the wrong sort of people," Sirius insisted and then laughed, even though he was the only one to get his joke. "You three first years?"

They nodded together.

"I'm super excited, my older cousins are already in, but I'm the first for my family. You guys know what house you want to get?"

She remembered Lily explaining to her parents about the four Hogwarts Houses— Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, Gryffindor, and Slytherin. Each one for the founding members of the school.

"I'm hoping I am in Gryffindor! My dad was in it but mum was in Ravenclaw. Though I've always done pretty well in school, so maybe I'll be in there." James said.

"I hope I'm in Gryffindor, it looks the coolest, but I suppose I wouldn't mind Ravenclaw either," Sirius responded.

Heather thought he would fit in perfectly with Gryffindor as from what she'd heard, she thought his confidence would bode well in the house.

"Isn't your whole family in Slytherin though?" Peter asked, drawing out of his shell. She looked over quickly to gauge Sirius's reaction, but he didn't grimace as he had before at the mention of his family.

"Yeah, hundreds of years. Bet my mum will be really pissed if I get Gryffindor." He laughed.

Heather frowned. Why would anyone want to intentionally upset their parents?

She spent the majority of her time trying to do that as little as possible (as heard as that feat had seemed for her natural mischievous mind), but she couldn't imagine purposefully disobeying her mother.

"My sister says I'll be in Hufflepuff," Peter said, and she heard a hint of gloom in his voice. "I'm not very brave or smart or anything, so I don't know where else I'd end up."

"There's nothing wrong with Hufflepuff, Pete. Loads of cool people are in Hufflepuff." James assured him, but Peter didn't seem convinced. She scratched at a piece of fluff on her skirt and wondered what house she might get into. She barely knew anything about the houses except the basics, Gryffindor for the brave, Ravenclaw for the smart, etc., etc.

Did she think she was smart or brave? I mean maybe, but it wasn't like she was anything out of the ordinary. She certainly read a lot, but did that make her smart?

Heather couldn't think of anything exceedingly intelligent about reading Treasure Island. She was certain she wouldn't be placed in Hufflepuff— she knew she had none of the qualities they liked.

Slytherin, then?

She'd heard stories about dark wizards in that house. She thought to the little piece inside her, the one she could feel beating right beside her heart. As alive and thriving as she was. Was that enough evil to put her in with dark wizards?

"—Hogwarts has got tons of cool stuff. My dad said that he and his friends found a disappearing room in their 6th year, but they never found it again." James rambled on as Heather refocused on the conversation. She often lost her concentration and the train was immensely distracting. People passed outside, and she caught glimpses of students through the small glass window on the door. Her stomach lurched. There were so many kids here, teenagers, teachers, strangers.

The floor was carpeted with a soft, faded blue material that matched the seat. The walls were painted soft beige, and various small paintings were hung on them. Heather studied the one behind Peter. It was of a wizarding cat in a valley in the mountains.

Wizarding cats were larger than regular cats, with heavy paws and ears with tufts of hair sticking up. They could almost pass as a small lynx.

"—A sword of Gryffindor, there's a whole legend with it and everything—"

Outside fields rolled past, tall trees sprinkled on top of them, not yet changing in color, the edge of summer still holding on. The English countryside was beautiful. It seemed to Heather that magic trains probably always worked that peculiarly, especially when the destination was unplottable.

"—All the houses have an ancient relic?"

It was a sunny day, with blue skies and soft fluffy clouds. She could still smell the scent of freshly mowed summer grass and pollen, crickets, and cicadas offering soft background noise. She used to love the summer when she was younger, she loved the heat, and the long days spent outside in the garden. She loved summer flower dresses that looked pretty when she twirled around and around, she loved cool lemonade and ice cubes pressed to her face, and she loved the freedom that came with summer, no school, and everyone being in a good mood.

When Heather was younger, she, Lily, and Petunia would all go down to the lake during the afternoons and just enjoy the sound of peace and everlasting happiness.

"—can't for the life of me remember Hufflepuffs. Heather—"

Now though, her memories of the summer had soured. When she thought of the season, she no longer thought of the lake and the way her sisters used to joy with her, or the hot days full of popsicles and dresses. Instead, she thought of that day when Lily met Severus and Petunia grew up into a teenager who was too old to hang out with her little sister.

"Heather?" James tapped her on the shoulder.

She whipped her head around, "What?"

"Do you know what Helga Hufflepuff's thing is?"

Helga Hufflepuff? She was the one that made the Hufflepuff house. Heather had read a bit on that in Hogwarts: A History.

"Umm, being nice?" She guessed, the boys burst out laughing and she tried not to bristle a little.

"No, like the object," James explained.

"You know, like Godric Gryffindor's sword, Ravenclaw's diadem, and Slytherin's locket," Sirius added on, looking at her like it was the most obvious thing in the world. She bit back a bit of annoyance. She wasn't so sure if she liked Sirius Black.

"I'm a muggle-born, remember, I don't know anything about magic or Hogwarts." She reminded them.

Suddenly the topic changed, and soon enough, for a reason that till date remained a mystery to Heather, they were doing different accents to amuse themselves.

"Is this good?" Peter asked in the worst southern accent she had ever heard in her life. He sounded like an old southern lady who got mixed with an Australian hippie. Heather burst out laughing, hitting her knee as she struggled for breath. James and Sirius were cracking up beside her and Peter let out an embarrassed laugh, his cheeks turning pink.

"How do you do, old feller?" James joined in when he'd caught his breath, and Heather broke into a fit of laughter again. James didn't try to make his voice like an old woman like Peter had but it was an atrocity all the same.

"First off, that's a southern accent, and second, it's not even a good southern accent." Heather switched her voice to her own reenactment of the American accent, a low drawling voice of an upper-class child she had seen on TV once that living in Connecticut. Their eyes widened at her, impressed.

"I still think mine is better." Peter proclaimed, and his smile broke out as they burst into laughter again.

She studied them as they laughed together. Sirius, who hit the cushioned seat below him as he snorted with laughter. Peter, with his pink face and awkward movements, always fidgeting with one thing or another. And James, with his chipped tooth grin and crooked glasses, seemed to be studying them too as he grinned.

It wasn't like Sirius' grin at all, or anyone else's for that matter. It was bright and charming, and such that would have caught your attention from across the room. It was infectious, and she found herself grinning back at him. She'd learn to call that the James Potter grin.

James Potter lived in Heather's heart like a dream she once had but couldn't forget because when things were hard, he was the only one whose smile could make her happy. There were a few people that knew of Heather's crush on the Potter boy. People like Alice and Petunia who she trusted with her entire life.

"I don't want you to go so fast, " Petunia pouted from her place on Heather's bed, sipping onto her coffee with a solemn expression on her face. The sisters' relationship had become good once again after Heather came home after her fourth year. Petunia was now dating a man by the name of Vernon Dursley and having her little sister back meant she had someone to finally talk to.

Lily still remained at her distance, thriving as the old Evans couple's pride and happiness. Petunia was a year away from graduation and though Heather was not particularly forgotten in her family, she knew what it was like being the middle child... even if her younger sibling was just two minutes apart. Her parents always pestered about her marks but not as much as Petunia and they always praised her for her achievements; although, it still wasn't as much as Lily.

The young girl didn't let it get under her skin though, being out of her parents' direct eye gave her the kind of privacy she had always appreciated.

"I'll miss you too, Tuney," Heather said, the thought of going back to school and being away without the guidance of her sister eating away at her, "But you can always send me letters! I suppose I could even meet Mr. Dursley the next time I am around."

They were packing Heather up for her fifth year. Lily was already packed and was ready to go, happily staying out with Severus to spend the time. The three sisters still seemed to be in some kind of unspoken argument but during these holidays, Heather and Petunia somehow managed to redevelop the sisterly love they both once thought was lost.

Petunia Evans was a lot of things... a cheerleader, a model student, class president, etc., etc. but all her life, the only thing that had remained as a missed out opportunity was magic. Now, it was no secret that the eldest Evans girl always wished to be a part of her sisters' world but when the realization struck in of never getting that life, she grew bitter. She still loved Lily and Heather— she truly did, but it took her years to come face to face with the fact that she was just the ordinary sister. That was when she started dreaming lower, started wishing less for planes and more for trains. She tried to make herself believe that the life Vernon was planning for her was the best thing she would ever receive.

It was only after she opened her eyes to this new belief when she finally understood how left out Heather felt. Her parents didn't expect much from her little sister and the more she observed, the less she felt as if she knew who this new Heather was. That was when she promised herself that she wouldn't let the girl feel that way again. She wouldn't let her sister be left out of the muggle world when Petunia, herself had been left out of the magic world.

"James better come to his senses this year," Petunia rolled her eyes, shaking off the alarmed look on her sister's face, "Calm down, sissy, we are the only ones here."

Heather shrugged, sitting down next to her sister, "I don't like him anymore, " the girl lied, "He will be much better off with perfect-prefect Lily."

Petunia narrowed her eyes at Heather but before she could say anything, the bedroom door was forced open by none other than a frantic-looking Lily.

"Have you seen my potions book?" She questioned, not even giving Petunia a glance but staring her twin sister down like a hungry shark, "I swear to Merlin, Heather if you lost yours again and grabbed mine—"

"Did you check under your bed-side table? You were reading it last night," The older twin replied, barely batting an eye.

"Oh— I— Umm, I actually didn't check there." And then Lily left the room as fast as she had come.

"Why do you let her talk to you like that?" Petunia asked, her mood souring at the way Lily had just disregarded her existence. Understandable, considering that was what both the sisters had done to each other ever since the Hogwarts' letters had come but disheartening nonetheless.

"She is our sister, Petunia," Heather said, sternly, "And if you get to know her, she is actually very nice. There is a reason she's a prefect, you know."

"She is not as nice to you," the older girl tried to reason, but to no prevail.

"I am the one person on Earth that Lily doesn't have to be nice to," Heather shrugged, "And it's not like she is rude or anything. She is just very direct when it comes to me."

Petunia didn't say anything for a while, knowing that saying even one more word bad about Lily would result in the two sisters fighting.

"Take care of yourself for me this year, please," the seventeen-year-old pleaded. As much as she hated magic, it was easier for her to send her sister off without any resentful feelings if she just believed Heather was going into a normal boarding school. "Don't be afraid to let yourself shine... even if it's scary."

"I promise," Heather hugged Petunia tightly, "This is going to be my year."