"Effie, for the last time, Pablo Picasso and Vincent Van Gogh are not the same people, get that conspiracy out of your head!"

"What about Antonie Van Leeuwenhoek? Was he related to them?"

"Why are you asking if a scientist and painter who are over a hundred years apart are related? How the hell do you even know who he is!"

The Doctor and I squabbled alike to an old married couple, Amy rolling her eyes in amusement at us. "Oh, shut it both of you. I'm curious as to why you brought me, you both are being so nice to me, why are you being so nice to me?" Barely anything the Doctor and I did got past Amy, she was too sharp.

"I'm always nice to you!" The Doctor exclaimed in an offended tone, pouting at Amy's laugh.

"Okay, but not like this, this is like crazy super nice. All these places you're taking us. Rio, Space Vegas, now this? I think it's suspicious." She joked, but the Doctor's eyes flashed in panic.

"What! No, there's nothing to be suspicious about!" Amy held her hands up in surrender looking at the Doctor oddly.

"Okay, I was just joking. Why aren't you?" The Doctor's reaction truly had made her suspicious now.

I zoned out as the two began listening to some dude explaining the painting of Van-douche or whatever his name was. However, one thing that the person giving the tour said caught my attention.

"Wait, so Van-douche killed himself?" I asked out loud, multiple people turning to me with a gasp, the Doctor and Amy's eyes widening.

"I beg your pardon?" The Doctor's hand was over my mouth so quickly, I think I got whiplash.

The Doctor scrambled to find an excuse, profusely apologizing. "I am so sorry, she has issues, she's mentally-insane!" He yelled, himself sounding even more insane than I.

I looked up at the Doctor with a raised brow as the attention of the crowd slowly turned away from us, Amy burning a bright pink. I figured I must have got the painter's name wrong, but made no attempts to learn what he was actually called.

When the attention was no longer on us, the Doctor turned to me shaking his head, but laughing a bit. "Effie, it's Van Gogh, his name is Van Gogh." He kissed the top of my head lovingly, before releasing my mouth from his hand.

Before I could reply, Amy had taken both our arms dragging us off to another painting of some sort of church. "Look! It's the actual one! The church!" She excitedly said, the Doctor sharing her enthusiasm.

"Yes, you can almost feel his hand painting it right in front of you." The Doctor admired the painting along with Amy, me simply sighing at the bland church.

I never did have an affiliation with art, it was never my thing really. Occasionally, I would admire the odd painting that Muspelheim had stolen from Asgard but that was about it.

As a child, I always wanted to visit Asgard, possibly meet my mother. However, I knew she viewed my brother and me as nothing but spawns of Satan as she was forced into being impregnated and giving birth to us.

Asgard was the golden city, a place my roots were from. Of course, I wished my mother had taken my brother and me with her when she made her grand escape, if she did things for us would have turned out so much differently. Better, in fact.

I even thought about going to Asgard when I left Muspelheim, but the fear of my mother's disappointment, if I showed up on her doorstep, stopped me.

My mother, Idun, Goddess of Youth and Beauty was known to be a beautiful woman. Her looks were something my brother had taken the lead in, while he looked more like her, I looked more like my father.

I knew because of a God and Goddesses long lifespan, my mother wouldn't look more than maybe seven years older than me, at the most. I had even heard a rumor that her and Loki, God of Mischief and Lies, one of the two princes of Asgard were to be married. Though, I never did find out if the rumor was true or not.

"Wait a minute," I was snapped out of my deep thoughts by the Doctor looking closer to the painting causing Amy and me to gaze at him in confusion. "Look there, in the window." He pointing the paintings window in the church.

Amy and I looked at it, my eyebrows furrowing when I saw the sight of some shape painted in the window. The shape looked like some horribly scary-looking face.

"Doctor, that is a fucking scary face, who the hell was this guy?" I asked, earning a few looks, as Amy and the Doctor both facepalmed themselves, the Doctor gave me a bemused look.

Suddenly the Doctor leaped up, grabbing both mine and Amy's arm forcing us through the museum and out the doors. "We need to talk to Van Gogh, this is a matter of life and death!" I screamed as he pulled us inside the TARDIS, taking barely a few seconds before he was piloting us to presumably whatever year Van Gogh was in.

"I refuse to go with you two! I am staying right here!" I sat on the seat of the railing chair, the Doctor looking to me in alarm.

"What! Why?" He demanded, crossing his arms.

"Because Vander-douche sounds lame!"

"It is Van Gogh!"

"I don't care, you two go and have fun, I'll be right here when you get back." I kicked my legs up to rest on the console, leaning down and pulling out the book Fifty Shades of Grey from under the chair where Amy had hidden it.

The Doctor scowled in reply, turning to Amy flustered. "So that's where you hid it, and you..." He pointed at me. "Stop reading that, young lady!"

I laughed loudly knowing I was anything but young to them, sure the Doctor was older, but I was still over six-hundred years old!

"I'll be fine, you two go and bond or whatever it is you do." I waved them off, reading the opening sentence to the book.

'I scowl with frustration at myself in the mirror...' I began reading, my reading cut short by the Doctor stomping up so he was right beside me with a scowl.

"Oh, C'mon, it could be like a date, plus one." I snorted at the Doctor's words, Amy shaking her head at him.

"A date plus one, eh?" I turned the page, not even looking at him as I spoke. "Sounds interesting, but no thanks." The Doctor whined at my words making me sigh and finally look at him.

"Doctor, seriously, you and Amy spend some quality one on one time together, you haven't had that since the World War Two trip a few weeks back. Art isn't really my thing anyway, I'll be fine. Now go." I ordered him, the Doctor sighing but complying with my words walking with Amy to the doors.

"We'll be back soon, stay out of trouble and out of my things," I smirked at the Doctor's words, waving the both of them bye as they left, me just able to see a small village before the doors slammed shut behind them.

Once the doors were closed, I immediately went back to reading Fifty Shades of Grey, keen to see exactly what kinky stuff Amy was talking about.

_________
_________

'Before I know it, he's got both of my hands in his viselike grip above my head, and he's pinning me to the wall using his lips ... His other hand grabs my hair and yanks down, bringing my face up, and his lips are on mine ... My tongue tentatively strokes his and joins his in a slow, erotic dance ... His erection is against my belly.'

I bit my nails as I read the hot Fifty Shades of Grey excerpt to myself. My eyes were huge never having read of a book that was of this magnitude.

I jumped, slamming the story closed as the Doctor raced in the TARDIS. Watching him, my eyes narrowed when he scrambled to pulling some huge gadget thing out from some large tub.

"What in the hell are you wearing?" I asked him, seeing as he strapped the huge gadget-machine to him.

The Doctor let out a loud yell of surprise, turning to look at me with wide eyes. He was out of breath, opening and closing his mouth like a fish.

"Effie, when did you get here?" He asked, making me roll my eyes waving him away.

"A while, now you're obviously in the middle of something..." I waved him away eager to get back to the book. "So go get back to whatever that was, I'll be waiting." The Doctor nodded at my words, rushing over and placing a hasty kiss on my forehead before leaving.

"Amy and I will be back soon, love!"

With a small smile, I cracked open the book getting back into the steamy action. I was so into it that I didn't even remember falling asleep on the railing chair in the middle of a chapter until I woke up the next morning.

A loud yawn escaped me as I closed the open book placing it under the seat. Standing up from the seat, my back let out a horrible crack from the uncomfortable sleeping position. Paying no mind to the cracking of my back, I wandered through the halls of the TARDIS until I got to my bathroom.

Thoughts of what the Doctor and Amy were doing consumed me as I stood under the shower. As if my thoughts were answered the shower began to shake from what I could only assume to be the TARDIS leaving.

Tilting my head, I listened to the familiar voices of the Doctor and Amy but furrowed my brows at the voice of the unfamiliar male with an odd accent. I shrugged figuring it must've been this Van Gogh character.

When I was out of the shower no less than fifteen minutes later, I made my way back to the console room frowning in confusion when I saw no sign of anyone.

Barely even a second later the TARDIS door burst open the Doctor and Amy waltzing in wearing a slightly sullen but oddly enough happy expression.

Raising my brows not understanding anything that just happened, I smiled at the Doctor who took notice of me.

"Guess who's almost finished with Fifty Shades?"