❝orphic.❞ (adj.)
mysterious and entrancing;
beyond ordinary understanding.

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I have lost the count of how many times I built courage inside me and try to ask her.

Lost the count of how many times I revised my lines, about how to ask her.

Lost the count of curses, I have given myself for not asking her.

Even if I built enough courage and gone to ask her, I always got my tongue tied by her orphic nature.