Anonymous reader...

My Mum and Dad have been fighting (verbally) a lot lately and it's got to the point where my Mum wants to divorce my Dad but she wont do it. When I asked why she's staying with him, she said it's because she didn't want to make us sad.

I can see its making her unhappy though by not divorcing, I don't know what to do or say and I'm really scared about what would happen if they got divorced.

Thank you so much for your time xxx

This is definitely the most... serious issue anyone as asked me for advice on. Not like I'm not going to help you or anything, but this is just way more serious than anything I have done before, you know? All I want to say before we begin is that I am not trained, whatsoever, in psychology. I have no idea what I am doing and really just doing trying to help others.

Alright, so first things first, it is important you let your mother know how you feel. From the sounds of it, she is the kind of mum who always thinks of others before herself, who doesn't consider her own needs. My advice is to take both your parents aside and ask them how they feel about their relationship. Don't back down if it becomes awkward or they try and brush it off because nothing will be solved otherwise. Let them get everything out there so you all understand everyone's take on the subject. Maybe even suggest counselling to try and rekindle their once love.

If nothing can be resolved, divorce may become the only viable option. Some couples are just not destined even if they thought at some point they were. More than anything, they need you to be a strong anchor. You need to be there with a smile on your face even if you're not smiling on the inside. I know it sounds terrible but they just need something strong to hold on to whilst their lives are being turned upside down.

But now for you, how to cope if your parents do split. Many parents do split and one of the worst people to come out of it are their children. That is exactly why there are helplines for them, to help them get through the changes. Another thing is that the internet is overall a kind of family. We (well most of us) will be here for you through every step of the way. Some of us may even be able to relate to your situation! It doesn't matter if we're on the other side of the globe or we're of a different age, race, background or religion, the internet family is the best family. Even if you don't want anyone to know who you are in the real world, we will support you. Do it anonymously if you'd prefer! All you need is five minutes on the phone, a few messages between you and a stranger to feel a lot better. I've got my arms open if you want to rant your emotions, I'm just a dm away.

Listen, we're here for you. Don't be scared of the possibility of divorce because you'll be happier in the long run, all of you. Believe me, my auntie and uncle divorced and found new partners. They are the happiest I have ever seen them and my cousin seems happy too. He spends every other week at his mum's house and gets on well with his step-siblings and half-siblings. Sometimes divorce is for the better.

From ciaramaeflower

xx

P.s. I'm sorry if this isn't what you want to hear but it's just my advice. I'm sure that if I knew you and your family on a more personal level I could do better. Sorry.