Hope

"You see the sun in my eyes but you must also love me for the storms raging in my heart" 
- Kavya Dixit

Kade's POV

"You look tired" Parker commented
"I didn't sleep" I said simply, looking at the gates again
I didn't want to smoke
I promised myself I wouldn't. For her
But I was stressed out
She didn't message me. She didn't call me back

She was giving me radio silence
And I couldn't stand it.

"Leave him be, he's having woman trouble" Tommy chuckled
"Tommy, he's got a right t-"
I didn't hear the rest, because the moment I saw Kingsley I left them.

"Kingsley" I called out, she glanced at me, hair framing her gorgeous face before she quickly looked away
"Kins" I said, catching up to her, grabbing her shoulders gently
"Are you okay?" Alex asked her

She nodded
"I'll catch up" she said, before Alex walked away, smiling at me
"I have to go" she said to me simply, eyes on the floor
"Can't we talk?" I asked

"I'm busy Kade, I- we'll talk later" she said, brushing past me and quickly jogging up the steps into school

"Well, that didn't look good" Tommy said as I made my way back to them
"What do I do?" I asked
"Make her listen" Elijah said
"Yeah, make her see that you're a good guy" Tommy shrugged
"I meant more... give her space but show her you're not a threat, not something to be scared off" Elijah said

"No, I think my approach is better" Tommy said
"I think you're both idiots" Parker said
"Oh yeah? And what's new in the life of Parker eh? Bagged Maria yet?" Tommy teased
"We're... getting there" he said
"Getting where?" Elijah asked
"None of your business" he replied.

"We're taking it slow alright, we're getting to know each other" he shrugged

Kingsley's POV

"We're so fucking together" Maria squealed
"You've been saying that for weeks babe, think if you were together, he'd at least acknowledge you in school" Alex chuckled
"Alex" I warned
"What? She's not like us Lee, I've got my Athena, you've got the boy you've drooled over since middle school" she said

"Yeah" I sighed sadly.
But do I? Have him?
He... I didn't know what to think of him anymore

Kade's POV

"Where's Kingsley?" I asked, looking round at the girls
"Hello to you too Kade" Alex replied
"She's at a meeting, for the paper" Maria told me
Oh.
"Oh, okay" I said, turning to leave

"God would you look at Ashley today?" I heard Alex comment as I walked away
She wasn't here? Was that planned?
Was she avoiding me?
Of course she was avoiding me

•

"Can I have a lift?" Tommy asked
"No" I said
"Why?" He whined
"Kingsley" I called out, as she came off the field
She glanced my way
"I have to get home Kade" she said quietly

"I can give you a lift?" I suggested
"No... thank you, I... I have to get ready for work, my dads picking me up, he... he won't want to see you" She said
"Kins please" I begged
"I'm sorry Kade, I'll... I'll see you tomorrow" She said, walking away.

To her fucking dad's car

•

"So you wouldn't take me home but you'll go all the way to the diner just to stalk your girlfriend?" Tommy asked down the phone
"This is a bad idea Kade, you should give her space" Elijah said
"No he shouldn't, he should work it out" Tommy said

"While he can"
"I'm hanging up now" I warned, putting the phone down

I waited. And waited
Until she came out, scanning tables before her eyes landed on me
My heart set alight every time she looked at me
Like her eyes shocked me right to the heart

Kingsley's POV

What is he doing here?
"Kade, you cannot be here" I said, looking around
"Why?" He asked
"Because I'm working" I said
"We need to talk" he said
"No, we need to talk when I want to Kade, I don't know what to think I... I don't know who you are" I said, gripping my note pad tighter

"I'm the guy who would do absolutely anything for you" he said, standing as I backed away to leave
"Kade" I sighed
"Please, please just talk to me after work, please" he begged

"I... I just need to think, will you please let me think?" I asked
"Yeah... yeah I'm sorry" he said, looking away awkwardly, before he looked behind him, grabbing flowers from his table
"I... bought you these" he said, holding them out
Sunflowers

"Kade" I said, looking at them
"I... I don't want to lose you" he said
"You're the only thing I ever got right Kingsley, I... I finally fucking got you, I don't want to lose you" he said

"Meet me, please" he said, before leaving.

What was I supposed to do?
Meet him and hear all his excuses
Cave to his words and pretend we'll be okay
When I've already been threatened?

•

When I finally finished work, I cowardly stood in the back room. Texting my mom that one of the girls would bring me home.
But I... I lied
Because I knew he was still out there
He was sat in his car. Waiting

When I eventually went outside, he immediately saw me
Straightening up as I walked towards him.
Before he rolled down his window
"Can you... can you take me home please?" I said awkwardly

I didn't want to talk for long. I wanted to think. He wouldn't leave me alone all day and I felt consumed by him. How could I rationally think when he was the only thing on my mind?

"Yeah, yes" he said, starting the engine
I walked around the car, getting in.
"Thank you" he said, backing out of the diner
We fell into silence
I don't think either of us knew what to say first.

"I'm sorry" he said finally
I looked at him, holding my flowers that little bit tighter
"My life is... my dad's business is complicated, you have to do certain things Kins" he began

"Like killing people" I said
He sighed
"Yeah. I... I don't like doing it" he said
"Then why do you?" I asked
"Because I need to. Some men they... they don't deserve to live Kingsley, believe me" he said

"How can I?" I said
"I don't know. I can show you what kind of men they are but I really don't want to" he said
I didn't want him to either
"Say something please" he said, pulling up onto my street

"I don't know what to say Kade. First you're a... your part of some sort of gang. Then you tell me you've killed people? That I've known you all through school and you've killed people?" I stressed
He pulled over
"People breaking into my house. My dad he... he said your dad has paid his way through loads of legal cases" I explained

"Most likely" he nodded, looking down
"Kingsley I..."
"I have wanted you. Forever" he said, before he looked at me
"And the thought of losing you because of this, because of what I do, it... it kills me Kins, I... I don't want to be a bad person. I'm not a bad person" he said

"You just do bad things" I pointed out
"I get it. Why you're being so distant. Why... why you probably want nothing to do with me ever again. But I don't want to lose you. Not after I waited so long to get you" he said, slowly grabbing my hand with his
"I know you want to think about all this. But you need to know that you're safe. No matter what, I've dealt with Huxley-"

"Dealt with?" I asked worried
"Not like that. I told him to stay away from you, he won't bother you again, I promise, whether you want me or not, you're safe" he assured me
"But I hope you... I hope you give me a chance. Because I won't mess it up, I... I'll protect you, I'll love you, please just... just don't throw us away" he said wholeheartedly

The look in his eyes nearly had me caving
Melting under his gaze and giving in.
"I should go" I said quietly, avoiding his eyes
"Okay" he said.

I got out, but he did too
"Kade-"
I didn't get to finish my sentence
Because he had already reached me
Kissing me. Grabbing hold of my cheeks as I lost my head for a moment
Thoughts spinning as the boy I always wanted made me weak in the knees once more.

He slowly pulled away
And I slowly opened my eyes, to look up at him
"I'm sorry I just... if you don't want to see me anymore. I need that" he said, hesitating to let go

But he did. Turning to leave me, but I grasped hold of his arm gently, stopping him
He looked at me, seemingly confused
I stepped closer, reaching up on my toes to kiss him back.

He stood still. Still and unsure
Before I pulled away.
"I'm not... saying I don't want to see you anymore. I'm just... confused" I said honestly
"I understand" he said, hands finding my waist
"I'll call you" I said. He nodded slowly. Letting me go as I walked to my door

Kade's POV

I sat for a moment. Waiting until she was inside
And safe.
I had hope. More hope than I had this morning.
And I had a kiss. A kiss sitting on my lips that gave me a reason to smile.

She was my reason to smile.

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