Normal

"When I look at you, the world goes silent"      - A.M

Kingsley's POV

I was nearly finished my shift at the diner, waiting tables and mopping the spilled drinks all night was not my idea of fun.
I preferred being behind the counter, safe and sat down for most of it.

All of this stuff with Kade had me feeling... run down. And useless
"You look beautiful" Kade said out of nowhere
I turned around, letting go of the mop
"Why are you here? I told you I didn't want to see you" I said

"I know. But you need to hear me out. You need to let me explain" he said desperately, before seeing the look on my face
And his softened
"Please let me explain" he said instead

I sighed, looking at the clock
It was time to close anyway. And everyone else had left
I moved over to the door, flipping the sign
"I'll give you a minute and sort out the kitchen" Lana called, before disappearing

I sat down in a booth. Kade opposite me and clearly struggling for the words
"There's nothing you're going to say that made it okay" I said

"I know" he nodded
"No. You don't. You've driven people away from me. People who avoid me now and don't speak to me" I said
"I know-"

"Apparently, nearly every boy in our year knows that I'm 'off limits' because I'm yours" I said, trying to stay calm, but I was angry every time I thought over it all again.

"I know" he ducked his head
"It isn't okay. It isn't normal behaviour Kade" I said
"I'm not normal" he said simply, making me quiet

"I have a different life to you. To all of those guys who look at you and talk about you. And the things they say... it'd be enough for a beating in my world" he said
"But we aren't in your world" I said

He nodded
"I'm trying to be better Kins. I'm... I'm trying to be better for you" he said
I shook my head
"You need to be that for yourself. For everyone else. Not just for me, you can't put all of that on me" I said

"I feel like a fraud... like me... liking you is a lie" I admitted
"Is it?" He asked
"I don't know... that's the point, I always thought I liked you and now... is that just because you drove everyone else away?" I asked confused
I couldn't make sense of it

"I hope not" he said genuinely
"I just... I just need to think Kade. You throw curveball after curveball at me and I don't know if I can handle it" I said

He reached across the table. And took my hand in his
"I get it... I'll give you space. I... I really mean it when I say I care about you Kins. That I like you, that I..." he faltered

Before he kissed my hand, standing up
"If you choose me. I'll be normal. For you. For everyone. But... you make everything... lighter... better. You make me feel normal. And I just forget everything back home. I forget everything... everything I've done" he struggled out

Before his eyes flickered to the windows
To the darkness outside
"Someone's picking you up right?" He asked
I nodded. Thank god Maria offered and it wasn't my dad coming.

"Okay... space" he nodded, hesitating to leave
"If you need me, or want me. For anything, just call" he said
"I will" I said, trying to offer him a smile
When all I felt was my heart sink

Because he was so kind. So loving and yet his actions were proving otherwise
It was confusing and conflicting
And I didn't know what to do.

•

Saturday came too quickly
Because my head is still a wreck. I didn't know what to say to Kade.

I didn't know what to do other than think and think
Over and over
Coming to the same confused conclusion in my mind

That what he did was wrong
So wrong. That he then lied about it and wiped out any chance I would have had with any other boy at school

That he took a decision out of my hands for his own gain
This betrayal I felt was... hurting more than anything else

But then there was the other part of me
The romantic delusional... weak side of me
That really liked him

That smiled at him and got butterflies every time he spoke to me
Touched me
He... he likes me. And I feel admired by him and yet... sometimes the adoration was too much
Too dark.

And I'd find myself nearly crying from frustration before the cycle repeated in my mind.

"Are you even listening?" Alex sighed
"No" I said honestly, tuning back in
She groaned
"Pink or green?" She asked, holding her dresses up.

"Uh... pink" I said simply, thinking again
She sighed
"Is this about Kade?" She asked

"It's nothing" I brushed
"It's not nothing, you've barely spoken to each other all week. You haven't mentioned him at all and you don't seem very concerned whether he's coming to this party or not" she reeled out
Fuck.

"I just... we're having a... break" I admitted
"What? Why?" She asked concerned
I can't tell you.
"It doesn't matter" I brushed off

"Of course it matters, you're clearly upset Lee, what did he do?" She asked
"He..."
I sighed. I can tell her a partial truth I guess

"Tommy told me he'd been... hitting other guys that had asked me out" I explained
"What?" She asked surprised
"Apparently he's been... warning people off of me" I said

"That's insane" she said
"I know"

"And kind of hot" she went on
"Alex" I warned
It wasn't hot. It was dangerous
It was secretive and insulting
And he was hurting people. In my name.

"What? So he's protective? Many girls would kill for a guy like that" she shrugged
"You're toxic, you know that?" I half joked
"I know" she said airily

I sighed
And looked at myself fleetingly in the mirror
At my makeup. My dress
Wondering if I looked okay.
If... if Kade would notice
If he'd like it.

Is he even going?

• Kingsley's Outfit •

•

He went. That was evident as soon as I walked in the door and my eyes found him
Brooding on a sofa, looking fed up and too sober as he looked around
Before his eyes found me. And his face partially lit up.

That subtle happiness in his face.
"Drink?" Alex asked
"Definitely" I said. I'd need something to get me through the night.

• Kade •

"Are you going to sit there and mope all night?" Tommy asked
"Leave me alone" I said. I only came for Kingsley
"Fine. Whatever man" he waved off, flicking his shades back down and dancing off into a group of girls from school.

Before some I didn't recognise neared me
Leave me alone
Leave me alone
Leave m-

"Kade, right?" A girl asked
"Yeah" I said
"Our friend Luana said you go to school with her" the other chimed
I nodded
"And?" I asked, bored

"And we just wanted to say hello, it's always good for schools to mingle isn't it?" The first smiled
No.
I said nothing
"You're a strong silent type huh?" She laughed

Kill me now.

• Kingsley •

"You'll forgive him" Alex brushed off
"Excuse me" I said
"What? He's big, he's handsome, he treats you like royalty" she reeled off

"He's unpredictable, bad tempered and he's lied to me" I said instead
"Seems like you're trying to find reasons to say no to him" she said
"No, I'm just... everything he's done so far is screaming at me to run" I said defeated

"And you can't" she pointed out
"No. I want him. I want him so bad" I admitted

She eyed something behind me
"Well then you might want to actually get running babe" she said
"Why?" I asked, following her eye line

Two girls were talking to Kade.
My Kade...

• Kade •

"Look I don't care who yo-"
"Kade?" Kingsley interrupted me
Thank god. Her eyes bounced between all of us
"I'm not interrupting am I?" She asked innocently
"No, we were just talking to Kade" one of the girls smiled at her

"Oh, right, well... I just wanted to come and see you baby, I missed you" she said, sitting beside me
I wrapped my arm around her
She was saving me.

The girls looked at her. Then at me
"We'll leave you to it I guess" one rolled her eyes, before they walked off

She looked up at me
"You needed saving" she stated
"I did" I said, staring into her eyes
Her beautiful eyes...

"I meant it you know" she said
"What?" I asked
"I have missed you" she confirmed.
I half smiled at her

Half jumped for fucking joy in my head.
"You did?" I asked
She nodded
Those baby blues begging me to kiss her.

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