"I'll send you all burning into the fires of hell.. none shall hear your screams.. ALL of you shall BURN!!!" Jalter knew these words should've sounded more threatening.. but they really didn't sound quite so threatening when you were tied up like a sack of sausages hanging from the base of a robot dragon's neck being hand fed tacos by a weird scrawny boy with a tool belt. 

"Yeah, just let me know if you want more.. plenty more where that came from." said Leo breezily. 

Jalter gritted her teeth. Never had she felt more humiliated..

No.. that was wrong..

Honestly the most humiliating experience of her extremely short life had been working for Shinji, but this was a close second... then again.. very short life.. she had few things to compare it to except for stuff in the Real Jeanne's life, which didn't count in all honesty because they were simply the memories of another person. 

Jalter was an impossibility after all.. an impossibility made possible by the Grail the Earth Mother possessed. 

Jalter looked at Nero, who was staring at her intently. "What!?"

Nero smiled. "You... are spectacular! Yes! I've decided that you are most spectacular! Umu!"

Jalter blinked. "Eh?"

"Your spirit, even after the humiliation of capture, you still swear to defeat us.. an unbroken will even in the face of the possibility that we might even attempt to violate you.."

"ExCUSE me!?" said Piper. "How is that a possibility!?"

"Or even execute you!!" said Nero.

"Uh.. how about we not..?" Leo said. 

"UNDER ALL THOSE POSSIBILITIES!" Nero said. "And still, you declare yourself fighting till the end.. that is death in the most beautiful of fashions.. "

Nero smiled brightly at Jalter. "I admire you.. you are a unique kind of beauty I would welcome into my Roma with open arms!"

Jalter just continued to stare. She wanted to say something insulting to the woman before her.. she wanted so badly to say something scathing that would make her wriggle with discomfort or perhaps gasp with horror..

But nothing came to mind now. This girl, in spite of being an emperor.. was so honest, guileless and innocent, that there wasn't anything that could hurt her.. if Jalter tried to insult Nero at this point, she'd only smile and remark about how much harder Jalter was fighting and how beautiful she was because of it..

"Mumumumu!" Nero clapped her hands together. "My dear allies.. I have decided.. as Quest Leader, I declare that we make this woman our ally!"

Archer raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything, Piper on the other hand looked aghast. "You.. REALIZE.. she's with Dylan right...? And she tried to KILL us!!"

"Yeah.. I don't want to be the actual Chestnuts Roasting over an Open Fire come christmas time." said Leo. 

"It matters not if it is our enemies who roast instead." said Nero.

"Nero.. consider this carefully." Archer finally spoke up as Fran continued to use a brush to keep Festus's wiring free of frost behind him. "I won't deny that Jeanne D' Arc Alter would make a useful ally. But so would Kronos.. so would Goetia.. so would Hyperion.. so would any enemy. Any enemy is a useful ally.. however it is still a matter of whether they want to become our allies.. this isn't Pokemon.. just because we caught somebody doesn't mean they'll be inclined to obey. What reason can you provide Jeanne Alter for siding with us...? And what can she offer us that we don't already have?"

"A big burning noble phantasm?" said Leo, raising a hand.

Archer raised an eyebrow at Leo.

"Just saying.. it's a thing.."

 "I do not believe in the slightest that vengeance and death is all this woman is." said Nero. "I know.. the mistrust for her is high.. but I have a sixth sense for these things.. that woman has her own inner beauty.." 

Jalter was speechless. Inner what the heck now? Who the heck told HER she had inner beauty? Was that some sort of insult!?

"Tsk.." Jalter gritted her teeth. "Screw it kiddo! I won't do anything you tell me! Me join your side!? Ha! The moment you all turn your backs on me.. I'll take out my sword and stab you in the back.. I'll unleash my Noble Phantasm and let you burn in the fires of hell! HAHAHAHA! Can you feel the burns just creeping in on your-?"

"Okay!" said Nero cheerfully using her sword to cut through Jalter's bonds and free her.

Jalter just sputtered, flabbergasted, sitting up and staring at her wrists that were no longer tied up.

"Eh... EHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!? DID YOU NOT JUST HEAR ME THREATENING Y-!?"

"Shhhhhhhhhhh.." Nero put a finger to Jalter's mouth. "No words... just.. appreciation.. Umu... you beautiful woman you! mu mu!! You... if I had to describe it in terms of food.. you.. would most definitely be my precious Roma Cheeseburger!"

"What about me?" asked Piper.

"My Precious Roma Cheesecake!"

"Uuurrah?" asked Fran.

"My Precious Roma Sausage Gumbo!"

"Annnnd.. me?" said Leo curiously. 

"M... my well... I.. I would need an especially special food for you.." Nero said, suddenly turning shy as pink patches appeared on her cheeks. 

"Nah, just make me a taco." said Leo. 

"Can you be ANY more dense?" muttered Piper. 

Archer chuckled. 

"What's so funny!?" Jalter snapped at Archer.

Archer smirked, giving Jalter a sly cynical look that she did NOT like. Was he honestly making fun of her.. at a time like this!? Of course they thought they were victorious, true she couldn't unleash her power and fight while they were in the sky, but the moment they touched down in Chicago.. oh boy.. ha.. they thought this robot dragon would keep listening to them? She would show them why.. why she was called the Dragon Witch. 

"Fine.. " said Archer. "I will accept these terms Nero.. you are the Quest Leader here so I shouldn't be just usurping my will over your decisions regarding what the final decision should be. "

Jalter felt if possible, even more stunned than before. 

This was not what she expected. That cynical archer, regardless of how he felt about Nero's leadership would fight to the bitter end on deciding what he thought was right. Not because he believed he was always right or anything, but because he genuinely knew what was best for the group.. 

Even that arrogant empress could see it. The Nameless Archer was a Heroic Spirit that had skill, experience and realistic wisdom beyond his years. His cynicism was a result of seeing the world for what it was over and over again. 

And he was saying okay to THIS.

Just how crazy were these idiots?

They flew low over Chicago as Archer pointed nearby. "There.. that's the address.. She should be able to give us a good pointer about where the wind spirits would be in Chicago.. if she doesn't try to incinerate us first.. "

"Uhh... wait.. what?" said Leo. 

"Don't worry, she isn't quite strong persay..." said Archer. "In fact her Noble Phantasm is only conditionally dangerous.. if she were in a Holy Grail War.. an ordinary one between 7 masters and Servants summoned the Imperfect way used by the Fuyuki Grail, it would be extremely potent against other masters and servants.. but in a world where Servants survive without masters and the magic powering our existence is an enormous source from within ourselves as true flesh and blood... well.. that's a different story.."

"True Flesh and Blood?" Piper said. "Okay, wait, are Servants not originally bodies of any kind?"

"Naive.." Jalter muttered under her breath. Really? These were heroes trained by that camp? Kotomine made them sound like a threat and yet they didn't even have basic knowledge on magecraft. 

"Servants are originally a prototype reproduction of a theoretical magic called Heaven's Feel. " said Archer. "Usually.. the body is the anchor by which the soul can exist in the mortal living physical world.. and interact with it.. without the body they are drawn back to the Source.. The World.. the Afterlife. But.. when a being becomes ascended to the point that they are so powerful that they can manifest physical bodies out of pure magic, they are able to interact in the physical realm just as if they were living.. that was the original Heroic Spirit summoning system.. the Grail of Fuyuki would use it's power to grant mages the ability to manifest Servants, smaller inferior versions of Heaven's Feel.. completely spiritual beings able to manifest physical forms.. "

"So you guys were like.. super solid ghosts?" said Leo.

"Umu! Indeed." said Nero now. 

"You remember?" Leo asked, looking breathless.

"Muu.. some of it's coming back.. but the knowledge is also slightly instinctual to Servants." said Nero. "We basically were ghosts that could act solid.."

"But it's more complicated than just that." said Archer.  "It was on a deeper and more limited level. While we were definitely able to do things that one in a Heaven's Feel state could theoretically be capable of.. such as immense magical power, abilities to match minor gods, the ability to go into a Spiritual Form and follow our masters invisibly and intangibly..  our existence in such forms was a contradiction to the logic of the World.. and as such, without our Masters to sustain our existence with their magical energy, we'd cease to exist.  Also, the TRUE Heroic Spirit could never be summoned.. you could say while the original us dwelled in Throne of Heroes, the Grail used our information to create elaborate copies of ourselves that mimicked our personalities and forms in every way... before going back to the Throne of Heroes and forgetting most of the experience.."

"Wait.. you're not the real you!?" said Piper with shock. "And.. Nero isn't.. well.. Nero!?"

"MUMU!?" Nero gave a start. "WHAAA!?"

"Oh you are the real you.. and I am the real me.. don't panic." said Archer quickly. "That's part of the changes to the system caused by Zeus which I will explain in a sec. In any case, back to the subject at hand.. yes.. it is imperfect..  the only example of Near Perfect Heaven's Feel in the world are the gods themselves.. The Greek Pantheon, the Norse Pantheon.. all the gods from the Age of Mystery and those that survive to this day in less powerful forms are all examples of Heaven's Feel.. though it's also slightly flawed compared to the original Theory developed by the Einzbern Family, as a True Heaven's Feel does not depend on Faith or Worship or The Will of Civilization to continue existing.. "

"So... what changed?" asked Leo in a curious voice. 

"Uuu.. uu.." Fran said making a few hand gestures. 

"Fran's right on the nose.." said Archer. "It was the curse.. everything happened after the curse of Zeus which USED the impossible phenomena... And before that.. the thing that started it all...something happened after the Fuyuki Grail War... a Servant messed with time.."

"Time?" muttered Leo.

"Eh?" Jalter blinked. She didn't hear about THIS..

"After Saber won the war by defeating all the other servants, a hard won fight since Arturia was never at full power due to Shirou's rather.. low potential as a magus.." said Archer. "The surviving corrupted Servant.. also classed Avenger like Jeanne Alter here.. that was festering inside the Grail since the 3rd war known as Angra Maiynu, survived and took 7 other timelines where Grail Wars also happened, resulting in Shirou and Saber's victory, slamming them together into this time line.. causing multiple impossible events that should not have happened in the original unaltered timeline... "

"Impossible events?" muttered Jalter, now interested against her will.

"Indeed." said Archer, smirking at Jalter's newfound interest.

Jalter gritted her teeth. No.. she couldn't act interested here.. just... damn it she had to know. "Alright alright ya schmuck.. give some damn examples already."

"Yes.. " said Archer. "For instance.. I didn't survive the war.. neither did the woman and master we are about to go see, nor Gilgamesh, nor Cu Cullain, the Lancer of the war, or frankly any of the others... however..  with the exception of Kirei Kotomine, the overseer of the war, and Heracles, the Berserker... we were all alive as if nothing had happened a year later..   including the masters who should've been dead.. there were some of us that survived in differing timelines so this was the result of the mergence... as a result, a new alternate version of events that couldn't have happened in any one timeline unless the impossible advent of EVERYTHING having happened together happened right there.."

"My head hurts.." Leo muttered.

"Impossible advent, that could only happen if all the timelines had merged having all of you alive and all of the possible things for all those timelines all happened somehow together.." said Piper. "Okay... so.. what was it?"

"Rin Tohsaka discovered a spell.. a summoning system capable of summoning the TRUE versions of us.. and not just that.. but truly resurrect us... " said Archer. "Originally it was just developed as a way to solidify Arturia's hold in the physical world.. her situation was unique.. and she was always the real Arturia.. but if she made one wrong move.. she could end up back on that hill years ago dying after being stabbed by Mordred... "

Jalter couldn't help but feel stunned. Wait.. that blue knight.. she had always been her original self?! Just what kind of stupid deal did she make with the World?!

"But we found it extended to the rest of the 7 and Gilgamesh as well." said Archer. "Allowing us to truly manifest as ourselves..  and permanently without depending on our masters to keep us here too..  a true second life.. something that is desired so much by most Heroic Spirits that they hope to get the Grail so they can wish for it..   the drawback however, is that the Heaven's Feel becomes less perfect.. we are far more physically limited now.. We still have our immense magical power.. abilities beyond that of mere mortals.. in fact in battle we are even stronger because we are no longer limited by a Master's own innate talent..  Saber is a decent example of this as she was able to match the War God Ares, and yet back then she couldn't even fight off Lancer without injury...   but... "

"We get hungry now.. we need sleep... we get tired.. we get cold.. hot... the Mortal Limitations of bodies are now more part of us.. umu.." said Nero. "Well of course food is how we also replenish our magical energy.. that and other things.."

"Other things?" asked Leo.

"Tsk.. it's sex okay!?" growled Jalter. "You do know that Poor Magus's sell their own sp-"

"EHEM!" Archer let out a cough and glared at Jalter. "Yes.. they sell that.. stuff.. it's a great source of magical energy.. ehem.."

"EWWWWWWW!" stammered Leo. "DUDE! TELL me you didn't go bowchikawowow with RIN!!"

Archer sighed. "No..  why would I when I can just eat?" 

"HA! Only amateur Mages with no talent need to restore their servants with intercourse!" snapped Jalter. "Like that red headed idiot Master of Saber had to bang her at least two t-.."

"NO NO!! TOO MUCH INFORMATION TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!" screamed Leo. "MY BRAIN IS BABY!! CANNOT HANDLE!!"

Piper rolled her eyes. "Leo it's a natural process.. it's how life works.. it's a beautiful thing-.."

"No it's very unnatural.." Jalter said, enjoying the look on Leo's face with relish. "Servants couldn't get pregnant back then.. so instead babies being made.. it's pretty much just battery fuel.."

"I fail to see the problem!" Nero said, putting her hands on her hips and pouting. "The bonding of the human figures in love whether babies are made or not, is a truly wonderful thing.. worthy of an artist.. no.. a person who is a piece of art herself! Why not celebrate it Leo Valdez!?"

"It just sounds wrong!! It sounds like one of those weird Japanese Visual Novels!!" Leo yelled. 

"Well back on topic.." said Archer. "Zeus copied Rin's discovery and used it to create his Cursed Holy Grail which is why servants became spontaneously summoned as feral beings cursed to hunt the unobtainable attempting to suppress their horrid violent urges.. "

"And they can't even make babies.." Leo muttered. "Life just sucked didn't it?"

"Actually, Servants as of now are capable of reproducing.. it isn't recommended however.." said Archer.

"What, do the kids end up being weird?" asked Leo.

"No.. it's rather that Servants are geared to be weapons.. it's what separates them from gods. While you do have gods that that are powerful in a fight like Zeus, there are others like Hestia who are powerful, but not for the reason of fighting or combat..  However, every servant, even ones created from historical figures with no fighting prowess.. has the ability to fight and are made purely to fight. Even Angra Maiynu who could've been called the weakest Servant of them all.. had the ability to fight and was made purely for that purpose." said Archer. "While the demigod children of gods inherit only a fraction of power and a massive amount of mana... a Servant Human child couldn't even be called human.. for they would be every bit as much a Servant as their parent.. possessing every ounce of immense power to the fullest..  unlike Demigods who are diminished versions of their god side.. Servant children inherit everything..   after all it's the nature of a weapon to be geared to fight.. and if they are going to procreate, it's better to create more weapons."

"How do you know this, was there a case of this happening?" asked Piper. "I mean.. you said that Servants didn't start being permanent till recently.."

"Till 2005.." said Archer. "That was ample time..   one of the new summoned Servants in 2006.. a Ruler, fell in love with a homunculus boy created by an organization during a large scale Holy Grail War between a Red Faction and Black Faction of mages.. Mordred remembers this, she was the Saber of the Red Faction... Ruler and the boy who was Rider of Black's Master fell in love and had a child.. the boy ended up being unable to control his power and his Noble Phantasm killed both him and Ruler's husband..  leaving her alone.."

"That's... sad.." Piper whispered. "Where's the Ruler now?"

"Who knows? Her alter however is right here.." said Archer, nodding at Jeanne Alter. 

Jalter looked away feeling really miffed now. Really? Was her original such a bleeding hearted idiot that she fell into THAT situation?! 

Though.. the sound of somebody to be loved by... no.. that was idiotic..  Love was nothing but useless baggage after all.. 

Useless baggage.. 

Baggage she was going to burn..

Festus landed in front of a large apartment building with plenty of flower boxes filled to the brim with flowers. 

In front of the door.. stood a solemn serious looking man... he wore glasses, a suit, and he had what appeared to be a teacher's lesson planner under one arm. 

As everyone slid off the dragon and Archer untied Jalter, the man walked over, speaking in his deep voice. 

"She's been expecting you.. Archer." said the man. 

"Kuzuki-san.. it's been a while." said Archer with a nod. "Are you well..?"

"Caster's recovered nicely from the Curse, it's been peaceful." said Kuzuki. "But there have been some disturbing portents of late.. "

"I have no doubt.. she would've noticed them.. the monsters amassing.. the Gates of Death are open.. "

"What?" said Kuzuki. 

"Before we left.. the ashes of some Cyclopes we killed were already reforming themselves.." said Archer. "Monsters aren't staying dead.. and I've been seeing Humans that should be dead.. and should NOT be Heroic Spirits either.. and then there's them.. "

"The Alters.." said Kuzuki right as Archer finished untying Jalter. 

"AHHAAAAAAA!!" Jalter cackled kicking Archer in the chest and knocking him back. "YOU'VE DONE IT NOW!! NOW YOU WILL BURN!!"

"Umu?" Nero tilted her head to the side, blinking as if she really didn't understand the dire situation. 

"SH.. SHIT!" Piper drew her mirror-like dagger as Leo yelped and jumped back, Fran drawing out her large sparking mace-like club.. 

"PERHAPS YOU WOULD LIKE THE FEEL MY PAIN!? MY HATRED!?" roared Jalter.

"Whose that?" muttered Kuzuki with disinterest. 

"Eh.. just somebody we picked up, we'll be fine." said Archer. 

"NOW BURN!!!" Jalter roared as power exploded from her body, quaking the earth.. flames sizzling around Nero's feet. "YOU WILL BE THE FIRST!! LA GRONDEIMENT DU HAINE!!!"

"Pfffffttt.." a puff of orange smoke hissed from Jalter's sword.. whizzed around Nero's head.

"Oooooooh? Pretty!!" said Nero, her eyes sparkling. "My beloved Roma Cheeseburger! You need not do a lightshow to show your affection for me! Umumumumu!"

Jalter's eyes went wide, as her jaw dropped. "Y.. you... LA GRONDEIMENT DU HAINE!!!"

"Puff..." more smoke

"DU HAINE!! DU HAINE!! DU HAINE!! DU HAINE DU HAINE!! DU HAINE!!!"

Nothing but smoke continued to puff out like a fart.

Archer smirked, as if he were trying not to burst out laughing.. he.. he knew.. HE KNEW SOMETHING!!

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO ME YA STUPID FAKER!!?" roared Jalter as Archer chuckled. 

"It's nothing I did.. rather.. it's purely you.." said Archer. "Tell me.. an Avenger is powered by hatred.. vengeance... yes? So shouldn't it be natural to hate the enemy in order for a Noble Phantasm like that to work? "

"Wait.. are you saying that Lady Blowtorches A Lot can't bring herself to hate Nero?" said Leo.

Jalter's eyes burned with fury. No, this was impossible.. humiliating.. no... she.. she... 

"I CAN STILL HATE YOU!!" Jalter screamed at Leo. "LA GRONDEIMENT DU HAINE!!"

This time.. something DID happen

It was like a torrent of terrible Dragon Fire..

Hell on Earth blasting into being in the middle of Chicago.. tremendous flames erupted from Jalter's sword..  as black obsidian spears ripped from the earth.. and a tower of the hellish flames  of fire breathing western dragons exploded from the earth.. wreathing themselves around Leo as the spears stabbed into him with godly ferocity...

It was an attack of pure malice that would destroy even a god, tearing them to cinders.. ivicorating them till they were nothing but-..

"Pfffft..."

the spears had bounced off Leo's skin as the flames burned over him and he stared with confusion as nothing happened. 

"Okay.. lowkey... STUNNED that I am not dead.." Leo wheezed as he stared, his face going pale as he looked at the burning spears. 

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Archer couldn't control it this time, he burst out laughing. "You might want to reconsider using a flame based Noble Phantasm with the Fires of Judgment based Spears on a son of Hephaestus... Jeanne Alter.."

"No.. no.." squeaked Jalter, her heart felt like it was going to stop and freeze into an ice block. "DU HAINE!! DU HAINE DU HAINE DU HAINE!!!"

Smoke filled the sky as a continuous geyser of giant fire blasted up again, and again.. and again.. till..

"CURSE YOU!!!" Jalter screamed jumping up and down waving her arms furiously. "I HATE YOU!! WHY CAN'T I KILL YOU!!? I.. I !!!"

"You done now?" asked Archer.

"BUT I!!!!"

"Leo.." said Archer. 

"Er sorry.. but we have a quest to do.. so.." Leo shrugged. 

Jalter felt flabbergasted. This humiliation.. why was her entire life just humiliation?

Kuzuki sighed. "Now.. if you would come in..my wife is quite famous.. she might have an answer to your problem..?"

"Really?.. what's your Wife's name?" asked Piper

"You of all the god's children should know her name.." said Kuzuki. "She is called Medea.. "