I hoped, you'd stay, just a little bit longer
And I hoped you'd keep calling

With every single day I have to face
I wonder why our love was stolen away
With every single breath I have to waste

I'm burning like a fire, will someone help my pain?
I'm drowning above the water, oh, help me breathe again
And I, I can't let you go, so when you're ready, come back home

I'd like to say, I'm sorry
And I thought you'd stay (you'd stay)

With every single night I'd have to face
With every single dream I'd have to chase
I wonder if our love's in the same place

I'm burning like a fire, will someone help my pain?
I'm drowning above the water, oh, help me breathe again
And I, I can't let you go, so when you're ready, come back home, yeah

I would try and be the man that I said I would
Just come back home
And I'll try, I'll try 'cause I said I would
Just come back home
I will try and be the man that I said I would
Just come back home
And I'll try, and I'll try, and I'll try
Come back home, please come back home

I'm burning like a fire, will someone help my pain?
I'm drowning above the water, oh, help me breathe again
Oh ah and I, I can't let you go, so when you're ready, come back home
- come back home ( calcum Scott)

She could feel her heart beat against her ribs, it reminded her of the days she was Chulbul , her childish heart beating frantically for a man she couldn't have back then and now he couldn't have her , ironic wasn't it.

His eyes were fixed on her as if trying to unravel what was going on in mind, but to no avail, she wasn't that Gauri whose eyes spoke volumes.

Now here eyes were devoid of emotions. There was an emptiness in them. As if an abyss, an abyss he would like to dive into, only if she permitted him to.

Gauri knew he was to curious for his answer by she could also sense the ambiguity in his tone. But she had already made her decisions years ago and she wouldn't let her heart out rule her.

She spoke in gentle tone- I'm here for the day Omkara , I believe I've already informed you.

The firmness in her voice made him feel that she wasn't ready to melt down. A day, a day enough for him to live his life he thought. Enough to make memories, that kept his cold life warm.

He saw her vanish to the kitchen but he dared not to ask the reason because he was already emotionally drained out.

She came back with a glass of water and said- here you go. And yeah let's sit on the chair and talk cause' the floor is too hard and my jeans are too tight.

Om smiled at her statement and obdiently gulped the water down , Gauri smiled at her little effort that had worked.

Om knew time was pacing fast, as cruel as ever, as envious as ever, he knew once this day was gone he could never ever dream about them being together in reality.

So he decided to do something , he spoke- I know i don't deserve to be forgiven. Cause' you had given me innumerable opportunities in the past but I didn't care about it then. Ain't I a fool? And I really don't want to open your wounds but I owe you an apology. Because the pain inflicted by me is more than what you had faced , because you expected something from me. And I failed you. And I know how it feels when people fail to meet your expectations. Am really sorry Gauri for everything. For not trusting you, for not caring you , for only claiming you , for not giving you the love you deserve , for not making you feel home. When home was what you craved for .. he ended with a heavy voice.

His apology hit a chord in her heart tears rolled down as her whole life came back as she heard his apology.

She said in a heavy tone - I had forgiven you a long time , but never thought of meeting you again because I was too afraid , to take a chance . Because I was afraid to let go of you, even though we weren't living together you still lived somewhere in the back of the mind. But growing up as a person I realized how important it is to forgive and let go. Life's too short to hold on to something so all I'll say is let go. I forgive you.

He felt an immensely load rise off his chest , he smiled and mummbled a thank you.

Gauri kind of figured out that he was referring to Tej when he was talking about expectations. Hesitantly she asked- if you don't mind.. I mean I'm no one to you.. but...

Omkara noticing her hesitancy said- you're free to ask anything you want Gauri even though you are no more my wife he paused for a moment and continued you still mean a lot to me.

Gauri saw the pain in his orbs when he said she was no more his wife even she felt a pang in his heart. She wondered was their love still alive somewhere?

Gauri took in a deep breath and asked- how is every doing ?

Omkara smiled sensing her concern- everyone is great , Shivay and Anika are the same tadibaaz as always and yes they have a Son , Ansh now. He's five years old and Rudy and Bhavya are expecting a baby , he is no more dumbell Oberoi .

Gauri defended him saying - he was never dumbell only you all were blind.

Omkara smiled at her and said- I know you care for him still and yeah I know you're still contact with him.

Gauri looked like she was caught red handed she asked- how do you know?

Omkara smiled and said- I'm an Oberoi ..

Gauri replied- it explains all.

Gauri asked - how is Jhanvi aunty and Tej uncle doing and Pinky aunty and Shakti uncle doing and Dadi?

Om replied- everyone is great, choti Maa as always dominant and chore papa the submissive. Some things never change and Dadi is pretty old now so she's usually confined to the bed.

Gauri Waited for him to tell about his parents but he remained mum so she enquired- your parents?

Om smiled painfully- they're divorced.

Gauri's eye widened with shock and she mummbled- am so sorry ..

Omkara replied- you shouldn't be some things aren't meant to be like my parents , like us.. It took me time to realize that..

Om she whispered as gently held his hand trying to comfort him. She said-Rudy Bhaiya never told me .

He smiled and said- I asked him not to.

Why?, She asked.

Because, you had always carried my burden, he replied .

Omkara , I know you were always the reserved person , and I respect that and if you want to share what you felt , feel free. Because I have no one to go and tell, she said

She knew him in and out he thought, his parents divorce had shook his foundations he had always fought for them at the cost of his everything , he hadn't said a word when the divorce proceeded because he was already weary enough and after the divorce he hadn't conveyed a word to his brothers how he felt. Just because he didn't want to over burden them and he had to look after his younger one , Rudy.

Inspite of knowing the reason, he asked her - how are you so sure?

She smiled painfully and said- because I had time to sit and read you, because we weren't best at words , you were always busy with someone or something not that I want to put the blame on anyone. Neither am I jealous . It's just that when words fall short people devise other ways to learn about people they care for I mean cared for .

Omkara smiled painfully and said- why are you so good Gauri?

I ain't all white omakara I've my shades of grey. If you haven't seen them that doesn't mean they don't exist. We all have a dark side which we try to tame, cause' it's ugly. Ugly to make the world sympathize you. And sympathies one thing GKS hates.

And so does Omkara Singh Oberoi, said Omkara

Empathy they said together and smiled.

I wish we knew we were so similar , he said.

Mutual feelings... Maybe we would have worked out if I was not too good, and a little more demanding she chuckled as she mocked at herself .

Their eyes met for a moment and they immediately withdrew from the eye contact cause' it was too much weight to hold on to.

He said- we would have worked out if I wasn't a hypocrite and punny minded. Trying to only see the visible side of the story rather than giving you the benefit of doubt, he ended up in a small voice.

Gauri smiled and said- it was mutual Omkara no use cribbing over what's gone . If we wanted we could have made it work. But we had our priorities set . You were my only priority but ... Her voice chocked away giving up her facade, she shut her eyes as tears trickled down.

Om looked at her and shouted - stop being so kind , and giving me the benefit of doubt or forgiving me . I don't deserve anything .

Stop trying to lie .. we could have made it work. No we couldn't have made it work . You know why? Because of me, time had made me realize relationships are a two way effort. I had seen all my life my mother putting effort , and all I was doing was supporting her because I was blinded by love.

Love so blind that I could've set my mother free long ago from that torment , if I hadn't supported her. I would have let that man sleep with that vile woman and my mother could have had a better future.

I was the emotional fool. I clinged on to my brother's they became the world for me. I clinged on to them because they were my last hope of survival. I couldn't do what I loved because of my so called dad wanted me to enter the race of the throne . I missed my dad when I got awards and stuff. I missed my dad a lot of times. I was jealous of the boys who had a perfect relationship with their dads so illusionary I used to think but then I realised that I was the not so lucky boy.

My trust on relationships wavered as I saw my childhood being snatched away cause' of my parents I never got the privilege of living my childhood. Smiling , being careless nothing . And then Rhidhima came along I was in a live in relationship but she used me for money so did Bela aka Ishanna lies I hate them ever since I can't remember. My perspective about women in particular narrowed down to money mongroles.

I had too much coming in my life I was losing control I wanted solace , peace done hunting for ataraxia I resorted to drugs . They gave me immense sense of peace.

I even tried to commit sucide only to rebuked by my brother's I gave my word to never resort to anything vile. But I had no clue what to do about those vile creatures who tried to consume me each day when I was alone . So I resort to become a stone.

And to save my mother I was ready to meet Svetlana and that's how I ended in Bariely blinded by betrayals driven by only one motive to free my mother from her pain I had a deal with Svetlana.

And there I meet you. And when I saw Jhanvi thakurian burn herself it reminded me of my mother trying to burn herself . It played like an old Shakespearean tale. I could see my mother in Jhanvi Thakurian and Svetalana.. he was to ashamed to say further .

It was too much for her to take in, he sure was a warrior like her but wounded only if she knew all this already she would have given him more time all made sense know his hesitancy in accepting her as his wife, his doubts everything. Oh! How she wished she knew all this earlier .. only if.. maybe things would have been different.

Svetalana in me.. - she said in a heavy voice, she chuckled.

Appearances are often deceptive Omkara I guess you have heard that proverb . So was my case. You were struggling for your mother so was I , leave it .. it's an old tale, why talk about it - she said knowing that if she mentions Kali's truth he would just be pushed deeper in the abyss of guilt.

Omkara as if reading her said- I know it all Gauri , if I get chance to vent so do you don't protect let hit me . I deserve every inch. I know about Kali, he ended in a whisper.

He could see her eyes widen with shock and her mouth go agape as tears rolled down her eyes as if they were a cascade.

How? She whispered.

Oberoi's have their ways- he tried to joke.

But Gauri was lost in a world of her own she was so happy that he knew the truth she always wanted him to know the truth but at the same time, she never wanted him to know the truth because it would pierce him.

Omkara got up and gently shook as he saw her relieving her nightmare.

Gauri he called out kneeling near her. And she looked into his eyes and for a moment they were the same Gauri and Omkara. And there she went flunking into his arms making him a little imbalanced sobbing her heart out to every injustice done to her.

She never had anyone to share to, she had carried it all the way here it hurts sometimes but she had no one to tell it. And here she was right in his arms she felt home, she felt safe.

She just wanted one person to remember when forgot me not's withered away was he the man?

***********************************************************

Oh! How I wish I could be done with this story but it keeps on going on. My apologies if someone finds it that I'm dragging this tale. But an honest confession I'm an emotional fool, who just gets going with the flow. I wanted to be done with this happy. But nah!!

As I started Jotting down I realized there's a lot that needs to be conveyed. Om's past, Ri's past.. all can't be summed up in a chappy. At least not by me. So here it is. I swear am just gonna end it in the next one. But they I have the ending made up in mind and I hope I won't disappoint you guys. I just want them to know each other which they never go to.

And think if they knew it all before they could not have lost so much time in pain and loneliness.

So here this part deals with Om's pain insecurities. And then Gauri 's and then their decision to hold on or let go.

And there were a lot of emotions. So I thought that's enough for now. Cause' the chappy was already 2000 plus words so that's it.

Enough of my blabbering. Do tell me if you want any matter to be particularly touched upon. And yeah thanks a ton for reading regards Ana 😊💙💞 💕 ..