Aik qissa urte patoon ka,
Jou sabz ratoon me khaak howe-

Aik noha shehed k chatton ka,
Jou fasal gul me raakh howe-

Kuch baatein aese rishtoon ki,
Jou beech nagar me toot gaye-

Kuch yaadein aese haathon ki,
Jou beech bhanwar me choot gaye-

Tum dasht e talb me tehrh gaye,
Hum qarya e jaan k paar gaye-

Ye baazi jaan ki baazi hai,
Tum jeet gaye hum haar gaye!

-Trigger warning!

Jahan

I jumped on the bed. Ready to listen to the mystery of her white clothes.

After being ignored for almost all day and with only shy glances given, I was eager to have Saboohi alone for sometime. I crossed my legs one over the other and grabbed a pillow to tuck it under my arms. My eyes fixed to the bedroom door. The soft wind blew in from the open windows. Bringing the fresh wind from all over the land of Swat. The ticking antique wall clock ticked more louder with each breath of my anticipation.

I stood up, barefoot and walked to the windows. My eyes sweeping to the dark highlights of the night. The small stars dotted all over the blanket of dark that covered the vast sky. The thin curve of the rising moon hiding and seeking from behind the flossy grayish white clouds that passed by saluting down at the land. Another gush of wind flowed over me, making me flutter my eyes close and just feel the unseen wind. Feeling as if Ronaq was playing with me.

" Wow, truly a sight to behold."

A voice interrupted and I glanced back, seeing Saboohi stand a few steps away from me. A soft smile decorated over her full lips. I nodded my head and offered her a small smile. She covered the steps between us and looked out from besides me now.

" I mean you and the night; what a sight to behold."

Her smile grew more and I flushed under her teasing gaze. She tore her gaze away from me and I turned away again. Wanting to savour a minute or two again with the wind. Closing my eyes, I felt the coldness slowly seep over me. Cracking up my outer layers and bring out the best from within.

Dhummm-

I opened my eyes to the sound of something falling down and saw Saboohi already looking at me sheepishly as she picked up my books from the ground. And arranged them again on the desk. I chuckled and moved away from the window before taking my previous position on the bed.

" Come on now, tell me."

I spoke seeing the woman saunter around, picking Mohid's toy from the carpeted floor. God, that boy had more toys in our room than he had in his.

Saboohi frowned and turned to look at me.

" Tell you what?"

I couldn't see what swirled in her eyes as she asked that question but nonetheless, I sighed and said.

" Why you have all white in your wardrobe?"

" Hmm. Did I say that I'll tell you about it?"

My jaw slackened on her question and I nodded my head. Seeing her laugh lightly, I groaned and pressed the pillow over my face.

" You have a special designer for your clothes or are you obsessed with white clothing? What is it, just tell me and get over it!"

The woman jumped on her toes, completely ignoring the irritated look I carried in my amber orbs. And walked to the wardrobe before fishing her night wear out and walking to the attached bathroom. Her eyes smiling as she spoke in a soft way, enough to calm my irritation.

" How about I return in a sec and tell you."

I nodded seeing the door already close and locked.

Minutes later when she returned, I felt my eyes grow large as they shamelessly assessed her short dress. She walked over to the vanity table to rub some cream on her skin, completely oblivious of the cycles that turned in my head. Not the dirty one.

Her lustrous hair cascaded down her bony shoukders as she freed them from the bun. Before pulling them up in a ponytail, leaving me to stare at the thin strings tied on her back. The frills on the midriff and border of the white dress swayed each time she moved the slightest. The white frill of her night dress hummed against the skin of her mid thighs as she dimmed the lights and walked towards me.

The lamps glowed her face as she climbed in the bed and sat before me. The once flustering smile and sparkling dancing eyes were all buried somewhere behind her tense face. And I frowned as she held my hands in between hers and brought them under her chin as she whispered.

" Can I tell you a secret first?"

Tilting my head to the side, I borrowed a second to flick my tongue across my lips before nodding. My lips curving the slightest to encourage her.

" You can if you want. I am always here to listen-"

" I trust you enough to tell you, Jahan. You'll be the only one to ever know it."

She cut me off and spoke and I nodded again. Giving her all attention. She closed her eyes for a moment before she opened them and her dark eyes flickered to mine. Taking the pillow from my grasp, she turned her back before pressing it against my chest. My legs straightened out as she sat huddled in my cocoon now. The pillow now resting over her lap. And I felt how her breaths raised and fell momentary.

I felt concerned as to what she wanted to expose that she needed so much support.

Goosebumps poured over the skin of her shoulders as she graped my hands in her trembling ones. I anticipated but I didn't want to push her over the edge.

" There were more teenage girls. Helpless and crying and I- I um didn't know what to do except to look at them and cry more harder. Um- there was this stench of what I can now say was alcohol and smell of cigarettes everywhere-"

" Saboohi!"

I protested over her soft whispers. My heart thudding with which direction her secrets were going in. Uneasiness started to coil around my neck like a deathly snake seeing the woman shiver in my arms and her voice dropped down octaves again.

" I had amnesia, Jahan. But unfortunately the whole terrifying event didn't wash away from my memory for even a second of my life. The abduction, the raid, Budapest. I remember all of it, Jahan. I have all deathly memory of it."

I couldn't help the gasp that ripped painfully out of my throat. I wound an arm immediately around her waist and pulled her impossibly closer. Her nails scraping over the skin of my arm before they were digging in my flesh.

" Saboohi, I am here."

I breathed in her ear in chances of calming her heart that I could feel thudding out of her chest.

" Just hold me Jahan-"

She paused and relaxed in my hold.

" I was yelling and screaming when the guy in the van pulled me in. I was barely fifteen but was aware of what was happening. I thrashed when the slimy guy reached for me and I hit my head against the window. But it didn't pain as much as when the same guy pulled me in and tossed me on the seats and slapped me across my face. They were three in the van, spoke foreign language and were smoking. I wanted to die instantly or wake up from the horrible nightmare but then-"

She paused again and a thick lump formed in my throat. The room suddenly darkening more and contracting.

" But then it was reality after all. It was minutes later that the van stopped with the tires screeching. I still hear the sound of them screeching sometimes in my sleep. But wait listen-"

She gasped herself and I let her dig her nails in my skin as painfully as she wanted.

" It was a worn out wrecked building, I barely saw as they dragged me in. Holding my hair in their harsh grip. I expected the worst when they opened a steely door and my heart fell. Seeing more teenage girls sitting on the floor like broken dolls and crying. I was pushed among them we were left alone. I was too shaken to react to anything but among the many beautiful faces, one girl stood up. She had freckles all over her cheeks and she looked older than any of us. She embraced me. And allowed me to cry. What language they spoke, I understand nothing. Hours passed. I prayed in my heart, asking for forgiveness thinking that maybe it was all happening to me because I was always rude to Rubi. More hours passed and the darkness started to prevail. Now all my fears came true. We girls, huddled together. It started to get cold. I was terrified for what awaited me."

She jolted suddenly and I pressed her closer to me. I tried turning her face but she wouldn't allow me to gauze her expressions. And I felt her pain start to seep in my bones. She just broke with soft whispers.

" It supposed was around midnight and my muscles had started to protest from all the crying that the door burst open and fifteen guys walked in. I cowered away in fear seeing the hungry look in their eyes. They were tall, foreign and had a lot of piercing. They barked something at us before slumping on one corner of the room not before throwing some bags of food to us. The girls eagerly leaped for the bags but I had no energy to even see what were given to us. I stayed awake all night, starving myself. Next morning was no new, guys came in gave us food and walked out. Among them, one bulky guy spoke broken English and what I could decipher from it was that we were to be shipped someplace else soon."

" My brain stopped functioning and soon my stomach started to churn. I felt dizzy and when a girl offered me water from a dirty bottle I didn't hesitate before chugging from it. It was afternoon when three guys came in and dragged some girls out. My heart slammed in my ribcage, wondering what fate had in store for me. What if I was the next one to be dragged out-"

" Saboohi stop."

I didn't recognize it was my voice that cut through her words this time. My head fell on her shoulder and she stiffened. Taking a deep breath in, she held my hands.

" It was this guy, bulky and tall and had a piercing right between the skin of his two eyes. When he walked inside, the guys in the room greeted him and he raked his eyes over us. The felt dirty by the way he looked at us. His smirk sick and loathe worthy. His eyes remained in me longer than usual and I felt the tears start to brim my eyes. He pointed to me and the guys immediately sprang on their feets and leapt to me. I started to scream, protest in their holds as they walked me to the man. The other men laughed on my helplessness. I felt tears rush down my eyes. They made me stand before the tall man. I looked up at him with hatred, fear and anger in my eyes. Jahan-"

She shrieked out suddenly. My clenched jaw tightened more as she turned to face me. Her hands reached to my face and she cupped them around me. Her eyes were wide filled with thousands of emotions as she looked at me and placed her forehead on mine. My heart squeezing at each of her small gestures. And what broke me more was that she wasn't crying. Her features were scrunched but not one tear fell from her eyes.

" The painful tug made me fall on my knees and they scarped against the uneven flooring. I remember Jahan. I remember. The tall man, he laughed at me first and then he reached his hand to his belt and loosened it so that it hit the floor. The sound it created was like spiders in my skin. And then I gasped and cried in horror as he reached his hands to the zip of his jeans and pulled it down. I tried to lose my breath, I tried to suffocate my lungs and then I was granted my wish. I fell into unconsciousness and I last thing I remembered before hitting my head on the floor was sinister laughter and nothing else."

My heart lurched in my throat and goosebumps erupted all over my skin. My vision blurred and I felt as if I no longer recognized the woman before me. She grasped my skin softly, convincing me to believe that she remembered everything. She leaned forward and hid her face in the crook of my neck and I let her do whatever she wanted to. Her whimpers filled my ears as she breathed roughly.

" Saboohi."

I rubbed her back.

" When I regained consciousness, it was a blur. I'd get injected two times a day and then darkness would follow after. I didn't know what was going on with me. I would barely feel my limps but I knew that the other victim girls were somewhere closer. It was the third night when police barged in and then all I could remember was smoke and blood. And then darkness."

Her thin arms encircled my neck and I effortlessly pulled her on my lap. Feeling the vulnerability that peeled off her now stick to my skin. Her warm body was somehow supporting me to listen to what was left more. She was calming me down. But I couldn't understand what I was going through, what I was feeling? Rage, anger, sympathetic, concerned or awful.

" When I opened my eyes the next time, it was in the hospital and I didn't know what was going on. I could barely remember my own face. And days later the memories of my childhood started to hit me and I recognised papa. And then moma and you know the rest. But-"

She paused and pulled away. And I saw the tears brimming her water line now cascade down her smooth skin. And I didn't hesitate to brush them away.

" Papa thought I didn't remember anything and that I didn't have the memories of being abducted. Yet I remembered every part of it and instead lost my childhood. When I asked him why we were in the hospital, he said that I slipped in the pool and injured myself badly. I believed him- if I hadn't he would have died back then with guilt. Rubi and Moma just got terrible. You know why I attempted to end my life the first time?"

I shook my head, frowning as she spoke.

" Because I couldn't bear to hold in the secret. Papa kept feeding me lies and I wished with all my heart to believe them but I was failing miserably. I would remember passing out and having my body shut down in that building and I just needed one more minute of that feeling; of escaping into another world. I craved for that minute like a psycho. Jahan- Jahan look at me. Look at me-"

She held my face up, tilting my chin so my eyes met hers but I couldn't look at her.

" Look at me, why did everyone treat me the way they did. Rubi used to treat me like plague. As if I had a deathly disease and believing her I used to rub my skin in the shower till it turned red. Why did they treat me like this!"

She sobbed softly and my heart clenched painfully. I held her tightly as she cried. I had no words of condolence but I held her close to my heart. Kissing away her tears softly as she clenched the front on my shirt in her fists. Silent seconds turned into minutes.

We lay quietly over the bed and I covered her body with the sheets as she laid over me. Her head resting under my chin and I drew lazy circles on her back as she held my fingers between hers.
" Saboohi."

I spoke hearing the woman hum.

" I don't care what they think of you Saboohi. I don't care what you've been through but I'll never let any of this happen again to you. I'll trade my life to protect you Saboohi."

The woman propped her hand under her chin, letting it rest over my sternum.

" I know you will, Jahan."

Her soft whisper bore a smile on my face and her lips tilted in a soft smile as well. Her eyes lighting up again as her smile grew more.

" You know they even touched my hair so I got them died, Moma was furious but I didn't care. She wasn't the one to witness the most cruelty. And then next was white."

I looked curiously and rose an eyebrow.

" Are you finally telling me the infamous secret about your clothes."

She nodded, smiling as I caressed her cheek.

" It was after some days that we returned back here from Budapest and I had this white shalwar kameez in my cupboard. I wore it for a week because I felt sanitized. Wearing white made me feel as if I was still pure. That no bad hands ever touched me. That I still had my dignity intact. Wearing white simply made me feel pure. Wearing white is like proving to myself everyday that worst didn't happen."

I placed a soft kiss on her cheek. Making the woman giggle.

" You did not wear any other colour after that?"

I asked and Saboohi shook her head.

I hummed and tightened my hands around her before leaning forward and switching off the lamps.

" Then I'll make sure to fill my colours in your life."

•

Saboohi

I left so light and nice about myself after finally opening up my secret to Jahan. I loved it that he was there to support me and hold me. I saw his eyes transforming very detail and expression in pain. He felt my pain as his. I was glad that he was the only one besides me knowing this secret and he was glad to be the only one. And wasn't I falling in love with him? 

Yes. I was falling in love with him with each passing second. And the more I spent my time in his cocoon, the more I fell.

I tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear and smiled at Afaaf. She was having her cravings to go outside while she and her husband bickered. They looked adorable just being themselves. So in love and so annoyed of each other at the same time.

My eyes flickered to the hallway seeing the man walk in. His eyes focused on me, a small smile dancing on his lips. And I blushed like silly as butterflies erupted into my stomach. Zaryaab noticed his cousin as he spoke to us.

" Ah, there's my boy! What good news did you bring?"

Jahan grinned at his cousin before nodding at him. His eyes turning to me as he spoke.

" But first things first."

Pairs of eyes turned to me and I felt my skin heating up as my husband swiftly walked towards me, making me notice the bunch of colourful flowers he held.

" For you."

He said giving the flowers to be and I couldn't help the grin that spread on my lips.

" Thank you."

I whispered shyly before sniffing the beautiful flowers. He casually wound an arm around my waist before walking back to where Afaaf and Zaryaab sat. I felt tingles all over my skin.

" The good news is I have been nominated for the foreign training tourism program and next week Saboohi and I are going to New York City."

The hall erupted into excited shouts and bubbles of laughter while I stayed stunned not able to comprehend a word he said.

" Saboohi-"

The man besides me nudged my shoulder and I frowned.

" I don't understand."

I said looking at him. His eyes grew large as he flashed me a boyish grin. He held my arms and shook me.

" It means we are going to New York City!"

" Really?"

I cocked an eyebrow seeing the man huff and nod his head. New York, I've always wanted to go there. A grin blew up my way and I squealed before jumping on my toes.

" Yayy! Jahan you're the best."

The man chuckled leaving the other two love birds to gush over us. Minutes later Afaaf had convinced her husband to take her out for ice cream and the two left leaving Jahan and I alone.

" Are you excited that we are going?"

He asked as I leaned my head against his shoulder.

" I am. God- I am so excited."

I grinned seeing him reciprocate my expressions. And in the most beautiful moment I couldn't help but say it,

" I love you, Jahan."

He stiffened for a fraction of second before his smile contracted and he ran a hand over my cheeks.

" No you don't silly."

I pouted and shook my head.

" I do."

He shook his head before smirking and leaning his head on the backrest of the sofa.

" No you don't."

" I do. I do I do."

I puffed my cheeks out. Brushing the flowers over his face.

" No you don't."

" Jahangir Ali Khan, I love love love love love you."

•

Yippee!!

Uff what did you guys come to know today about our Saboohi! Poor thing! 😱💔

But wait they're going to NYC !! Yayyyyyy

I hope you liked the chapter, I'll see you soon in NYC.

Till then<

Love,

_Hafsa♥