there was a storm in her eyes
  rocky seas from a hundred stormy nights
but also there was light
   a warm wind
from a distant shore
so that's where headed
   towards the light
that shone in her eyes
   with gentle seas.

Jahan

" Eh! As you say then."

" Yes but I need your support in this as well. We already know when the tourist season comes, there's rush all over the province and we cannot put any discomfort at their stake. As well as so many vloggers have started to travel this side! "

I folded my arms across my chest. The fabric of my suit jacket tightening and with a raised eyebrow I stared at the man. Seeing him shift in the black swivel chair.

" Yes I agree to what you say. Then we'll start our work after the government stops with the encroachment project. "

" Better." I nodded.

The man stood up and joined me on the terrace of our office that looked over the beautiful lush scenery. Farzan Muhammad Khan, a great friend to both me and Zaryaab and my business partner for this very project. Farzan had been with us in our business from the very start. And we had build the business together. He was married, had two kids, was well educated and well settled. And this very man would never disappoint. Zaryaab and I trusted him to no ends and so did he.

He was tall, well built with small almond black eyes and a long beard. He had this aura that made him easily interact with everyone. And this was the reason he looked after our hotels in the extreme northern areas.

" You guys done with the meeting?" A voice called out from behind us.

I averted my eyes from the proudly standing mountains and swaying green trees to my brother. Zaryaab walked to us with a small smile on his face, greeting Farzan.

" Yes. We are done!" I announced as he placed a hand around my shoulder.

" I'll be leaving now. Will meet you guys tomorrow? In Shaa Allah."

We affirmed, seeing Farzan collect his stuff and leave the office.

" What the plan?" Zaryaab asked unlocking his phone.

I sighed out loudly, running a sweaty hand past my dark locks and shook my head.

" Nothing. Let's head home."

The man nodded his large green eyes smiling at the mention of going back home. I chuckled out seeing his lips stretch into a wider smile.

" What?" He asked innocently.

I shook my head and walked to my laptop before shutting it down.

" What?"

Zaryaab asked again catching up as we crossed the long corridors.

" You do know you're, whipped?"

He chuckled and scratched his neck awkwardly.

" Yeah of course!"

Kameena!

We settled in the car and as Zaryaab pulled off from the driveway, I closed my eyes. Feeling my senses numbing as the cool air played with my skin. And the lazy sun rays of the golden sun fell over with just a little amount of warmth that was the utmost need. The birds sang merrily returning to their homes with food as they soar on the cloudless sky. The trees around us swaying with the winds and their fresh green leaves swishing as the winds teased them.

It was so peaceful and tranquility filled. I wished in that moment that the fresh feeling of enjoying this would never die. And then I was asking for a possibility that I keep travelling against the winds, trying to find my way back to what I had lost. Trying to find back my way to home.

I opened my eyes only when Zaryaab killed the engine and stopped before the patio of our house. I got down firstly, loosening the tie from around my neck as I made my way inside.

Hushed voices greeted me as I stepped in the large hall seeing the scene unravel. My eyes rounded in confusion seeing Afaaf half leaning on the sofa, her feet braced on the table. While Dadi Gul Jan stood hunched over her. Two maids stood closer to them. Utmost curiosity was wavering me as I glanced at them.

" What's happening here?" I voiced out in question.

The women turned their eyes to me. Their voices dying upon seeing my arrival. Footsteps echoed behind me and Zaryaab joined us. He too stopped besides me. Now Dadi Gul Jan shifted on her tip toes almost fluttering on the wooden floor boards.

" What?" Zaryaab asked as he looked at the women.

Dadi Gul Jan cleared her throat grabbing our attention while Afaaf shyly tucked a lock of her thick hair behind her ears. Looking up at her husband from under her lashes.

" Well, Zaryaab and Afaaf are expecting another baby!"

" Woah"

"What!"

Zaryaab and I spoke in union and my shoulders visibly relaxed hearing the big news. The man besides me remained frozen to comprehend while his wife covered her face in embarrassment with his reaction. I embraced my brother in joy.

" Mohid is gonna be a big brother?"

I chuckled and the man let out a trail of pashto curses making me smack his back as we pulled away. I hugged Dadi Gul Jan next and congratulated Afaaf as she stood up. The maids left us and Afaaf and Zaryaab whispered among themselves making Dadi Gul Jan and I, snicker.

" Arey, you two can have a minute. Chalo go!" She ushered them and Zaryaab literally dragged his wife out of the hall. Making Dadi Gul Jan and I to roll in laughter.

The dinner was past by everyone discussing the news of the baby. And Khan Dada was already planning to announce it to everyone and his wife had to shush him down. And then I informed that I'll be away for a week, going on a tour with Farzan to the deeper side of northern Pakistan. When I climbed up the stairs, a small smile played on my lips seeing all the pictures of my wife. Afaaf had uncovered all Ronaq's photos after she had returned. And had said that by covering up the pictures we are trying to forget her, and this was the last thing I would want to do.

I fell on the bed, revising the question Afaaf had asked two years ago.

How did the two of you get married?

How did Ronaq and I get married?

-

After leaving home, I thought I was gonna miss mom the most. But that wasn't the truth, I was missing her the most. Almost that I couldn't concentrate on my training. And here in the army academy no one would understand it. No one would understand what I was going through and how disturbed I was getting with each passing day. And even I was not allowed to think about all this but I couldn't control myself. It was just hard to imagine living without her.

Dad had so much faith in me. Seeing me follow his steps into Pakistan Army, he was proud of me as I completed my third term with flying performance. And he had that gleam in his eyes to see me be a general one day. But spending each day here, without her was getting difficult. I didn't want to betray Dad, or my country. But I also couldn't betray the feelings in my heart.

I hadn't seen Ronaq in six months, after the most awkward departure from the haveli when I had gone home for my break. And after that neither she nor me had found the courage to contact each other. But one thing I was super clear about was that, she held the same feelings I had for her. And she had gotten to know it as well, as far as I thought.

It was just another day of training in the whimsical snow and warm sun of Abbottabad when my class fellow called me on the front desk. Saying I had gotten a call from home. Straightening out my uniform, I made my way over to the desk. Walking like the soldier I was being trained for. I took the antique receiver off the wood and pressed it to my ear. Hearing silence on the other end.

" Hello!"

I waited for a second, my thoughts drifting to what if it was a prank played by a senior. But when soft breaths hit the thin ear drum of my ears, my heart literally flipped in my chest.

" Hey!" It was a mere breath that she spoke. And that mere breath was snatched off my lungs as I stared into space for the longest of time.

" Jahan? Are you there?" She cleared her throat and spoke softly.

I remained flabbergasted but somehow managed to drawl out.

" Hm. Yes?"

Again silence.

And I smiled earning curious glances from around the boys that returned from the training and walked into their rooms.

" Please come back home!"

The words were thrown my way and I had to contemplate for a second if I had heard right. Ronaq went silent again and I straightened my posture before slamming the receiver back on its place.

Damn my training.

If I was going to survive only then I would protect my country and in no way I was surviving here. My survival was there, miles away from me. Calling me back home. And that was what I was doing to do.

Damn all of it!

I stormed inside my room seeing my roommate look at me curiously as I pulled out my army printed duffel bag and started to stuff my things in it.

" Hey, what's going on?" He asked standing up from his bed.

" I am going home!"

I dumped my shoes carelessly in the bags before keeping in my clothes.

" What? Why?"

" Because I cannot stay here any longer!"

He looked at me with a strange look of horror and then sat down back on his place.

" You won't be returning back?" He asked.

I shook my head in negative.

" Won't you regret leaving from here?"

I turned to him and sighed out.

" I'll surely regret if I don't leave from here!" I fixed the cap on my fauji cut hair and grinned. Breathing in a fresh breath.

Finally.

I draped my bag on my shoulder and with hurried footsteps walked out of the corridor, the halls and then towards the gates. It was hard to cross past the main gates surrounded by army and it took me an hour to finally get through them, explaining them a thousands things about the surgery my non existent sister was going under. And I had to leave asap to meet her before she gets in the theater.

The cold wind had my hands frosty as I took the first taxi to Swat. The snow capped gracious mountains all towering throughout the cliffs as we travelled higher up the slope. By now, I had rolled down the glass of my window and was staring out. I was nervous and jittery, anxious and excited. My stomach was bubbling up with the thoughts of just reaching home and seeing her. Seeing my Ronaq. And God-

I knew for a fact that by now Dad would be aware of me leaving the academy and he'd be on his phone, pacing up and down to get me back or worse reaching Swat. I shrugged out all the thoughts and leaned towards the window feeling the cold air tease my skin. My nose turning cold immediately. A thought crossed my mind and my hand flew up to my cheeks feeling the skin smooth as I ran a hand past my face.

Shit!

What would she say?

I had shaved my stubble a day ago because of a warning from the academy per their rules and now. God, what if she gets scared seeing me look so smooth. Shit! Shit! Shit! And the rest of the journey I sulked in praying that Ronaq doesn't run away once she sees me.

When the black grand gates of the haveli appeared before the rear mirror, I pushed myself back on the seat. I was so nervous all of a sudden. My hands trembled on my lap and I mentally laughed seeing that I was still in my army uniform. The snow was all over the ground as I got out of the taxi and unloaded my bags. My cold hands paid the taxi driver as he drove off and the guards opened the gates for me looking at me with frowned expressions on my unexpected arrival. I gave them a very weird wave before walking down the driveway.

The sun was about to set in a few hours and the golden rays played with the thin streams of clouds on the heavenly sky. I looked up at the haveli and unexpectedly saw a figure leaning against the terrace. Her chin perched on her folded hands in the railing and then her eyes caught me walking down the driveway, she jerked up. Her mouth opening up in shock and before I could understand she was running inside.

I stopped in my tracks.

Wait! What did just happen?

My bags turned more heavy with the disappointment that flashed across me. I looked at the guard behind seeing them look curiously at my stance but I inwardly shrugged and turned back. As I took a step forward with my eyes trained on the open carved ancient doors, I saw a black long sweater flying in the air and then pin straight wild hair that flew all over the woman's face. I squinted my eyes to have a proper view.

Here I thought she was running away from me but in reality she was running towards me. Her thin hands pushed her hair away from her sweetheart shaped face and my heart beats picked up speed. Dressed in a baby blue shirt, she had a pair of jeans on with her favorite warm black sweater and right now as she ran it seemed as if she was running for her life. I didn't need to move from my place as she crossed the door, descended the patio steps and ran towards me. Her nose was pink as she slowed down for a minute. Her chest fell up and down as she breathed heavily.

And I stared at the most beautiful woman of the world. As she stood before me, breathing heavily with her head titled just a little.

My Ronaq.

I took a step forward as she took one as well. And she didn't give me the chance to walk to her as she met me up, running my way making me drop my bags on the ground. I think we mutually didn't understand what was happening because as she was a half step away from me, I flung her in my arms. She snaked her thin arms around my neck and I grabbed her by the waist. Her feet left the ground as I buried my face in her hair.

Finally-

-home.

My accelerated heartbeats met hers as our hearts synchronized steadily. I forgot everything around myself except for her. And she tightened her hold on me. This new feeling of mine slowly crept up on my skin and all doubts of my future washed away as I slowly turned us in circles. Her soft breaths hit the side of my neck as she kept mumbling,

" Don't leave me."

" Don't leave me."

" Don't leave me."

I ran my hand down her long hair and whispered softly.

" I won't, ever!"

We heard footsteps after what felt like eternity and made us both pull apart. Yet I didn't leave her from my arms. Her palms slid to my chest as I let her down on her feet. Her large eyes stared up at me. Her lashes flickering and a rosy pink shade smeared against the pale skin of her cheeks making me smile softly at her. I kept my hands pressed against her back, only pulling her closer to me before we turned to look at the interruption.

The first person I saw was Dadi Gul Jan, she stood on the patio steps with her hands over her mouth as she looked at us with widened and astonished eyes. Zaryaab was besides her and was glaring at my arms around his sister. And then there was my mother, I expected her because after I left for the academy there was in no way she wasn't informed but her expressions were calm but she was surprised and then my eyes flicked to Khan Dada. And that was where my fear raised. Only to subside.

" Jahan!" His roaring voice boomed around in the open as he glared at me with his hard eyes and I gulped seeing the anger radiate on his face. I could feel Ronaq tremble in my arms and I didn't dare leave her instead I met the old man's eyes with confidence.

" Serina, take Ronaq inside!"

He gritted out, tapping his cane in the floor of the patio. Ronaq looked at me worriedly, deep lines forming between the skin of her eyes and I ran a cold hand against her forehead, straightening them out and gently shook my head at her.

I walked her to the patio before my mom took her inside and with her head lowered she followed what Khan Dada said. I knew for sure that we would never say no to me if I ask for Ronaq from him. He wouldn't but I guess that he didn't expect this was coming his way so fast and we didn't expect as well.

I lowered my head in respect once I stood before him. My eyes fixing on the floor. I got no response from his expect for his back facing me as he walked inside.

Oh no!

Minutes later, I sat under the scrutiny of my father and grandfather as they stared at me with hard glares. I sweated as I gulped yet again looking at Dadi Gul Jan and my mom with pleading eyes.

" I did not expect this behavior from you, Jahan!"

I lowered my head at my father's statement.

" Dad, I was being unjust with everything if I was staying there. I am not lying I couldn't just be there when I had all my concentration here!"

I said defending everything between her and me. My father squinted his eyes at me. And in his army uniform he looked so much more intimidating that I had a hard time meeting his eyes.

" I do want to get married-"

" Don't army officers get married? Did I not marry your mother!" For a second I flinched.

And my heart made me turn to look at the pillar seeing Ronaq stand behind it. Her large eyes looking at me with a pained expression. I could see teh answer swimming in her eyes and I didn't wait to vocalize it.

" I won't stay away from her, even for a second after my marriage!"

My dad looked surprise and I heard a relieved sigh from Dadi Gul Jan.

My eyes flickered to the pillar seeing Ronaq turn on her heels and walk away. And my distraction rose at peaks. As the voices filled the hall. It was already hard to concentrate on what they were saying and dad wanted to me to join back the academy. Impossible!

" Jahan! Are you even listening?"

Mom stressed and I turned to Khan Dada, seeing him look at me.

" What are your plans for the future then?"

" Obviously I wouldn't give my granddaughter's hand in marriage to someone who hasn't completed a degree and that too left the army!" Dadi Gul Jan said and I could see the joy in her smile. At least someone was on my side.

" Um, I'll take the admission as soon as the universities open and then I'll take all responsibility of my wife and kids-"

" Wait, wait-" Laughter errupted in the hall and my ears tinked pink with shyness and embarrassment.

I was twenty three years old, ready to get married and start our life. I was just excited.

Dad wasn't that happy but still he gave in and at that moment I felt as if he was a father more to Ronaq then to me but I didn't object, she deserved everyone's love. We decided to get my registration cancel from the academy so that I would start my degree. And just like that everything was settled.

•

Cold wind brushed past us as we sat holding ourselves up. My eyes kept flickering between the small shop before us and the plastic cup of chai between my hands. Silence was playing it's tricks upon us whilst the children screamed and shouted and played in the park behind us, serving as our background music. The snow draped mountains remained all around us as the golden rays of the sun fell from between two twin mountains. Minutes away from setting down and bringing the moon up.

The smell of freshly fried pakoray and samosay wafted in the air as we sat on the bench looking at the scenery before us. My lips were sealed but I casted a quick glance at the woman besides me. Feeling her as nervous as me. My palms were tingling by now. It had been a few minutes that we drove here as the elders decided to give us sometime.

I was still in my uniform except for I had a large jacket over my shoulder because of how cold it was getting as the sun was saying it's farewell. And the next time when our gazes met, I effortlessly slid my body closer to her on the bench so that the paper plate of pakoras separated us. Ronaq stiffened for a second before she relaxed, her tense shoulders easing down slowly.

I cleared my throat, ready to say out anything or worse everything.

Her brown green eyes flickered to mine and she looked at me with all the innocence in the world.

" Um! The- the pakorasaregettingcold?"

She frowned and I turned in my seat feeling the shame that flooded my neck afterwords. Her soft giggles resonated in my ears and I titled my head a little seeing her hand on her mouth as she giggled, bringing a smile to my face.

" Stop it!" I said slouching my shoulders. She giggled more and I reached my hand forward and held hers, freezing her up. She liked at me shyly and I bent down and plucked a straw of grass from the ground. Taking her left hand in mine I wrapped the green string around her ring finger. She gasped out looking up at me as I dabbed a ball of snow on the band serving as a diamond.

" Now, you're mine!" I stated in all seriousness. Pulling her closer by the hand. Her lashes flustered as she smiled softly.

" You won't leave?"

Her question did something to my heart.

" I won't if you won't as well!"

" I won't leave. I promise. Do you believe this?" She pointed to the makeshift ring in her finger and I looked up at her.

" I believe if you do as well!"

God, I had left everything for her behind and I would never destroy something as beautiful as this.

" Will we-" her cheeks turned rosy and she averted her eyes. I chuckled out loudly draping my hand behind her shoulders.

" Of course we'll get married!" I completed for her. And she completed me.

No words needed to be spoken after that as we sat on the bench seeing the first sun set together of our life.

R O N A Q × J A H A N

•

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_Hafsa♥