If I tell you I need you, do not take it lightly.
I do everything to be around you,
And if I say I want you, it means I am trusting you to catch me
if I fall.

Saboohi

We returned back home. And I almost felt shy and nervous around everyone. I had always spent most of my time with Jahan, joined to his hip. But now as everyone moved around the house, I felt nervous in talking to my family. Jahan had become a shield for me, my human shield.

Whenever I found myself being questioned, I'd look up at him with large eyes and he'd smile giving me the confidence to answer. And the other times, I'd be hiding behind him. Bazid was the only bully in the house to tease me about my lack of interaction but Faraal had kept a good hand on him. They were perfect for each other. Sadly, Bazid went back to his studies and so did Faraal leave for Islamabad to her family. And days started to pass like sand from between my fingers. And I was yelping on my toes last week, thinking that I had completed five months of my successful marriage with Jahan.

" Wow Saboohi! This is amazing work. You should pursue it further on."

Afaaf exclaimed and I smiled. We were sitting on the sofas in the hall as I showed her my journals from my university. She was impressed about the researches I had done here and there without Moma's permission.

" This is all from my thesis work."

I pointed out showing her more of my work. Seeing her look intrigued.

" Hmm, how did biotech engineering come to you?"

She asked and I shrugged popping a slice of apple in my mouth. Before thinking back to the time I fought with papa and Moma to get admission in university.

" I guess I wanted to study both chemistry and biology at the same time. I don't know it was a mixed decision."

The woman laughed out before waving her hand off. Her brown sparkling eyes landing on me as she whispered.

" You should really work in the field if you want. I am sure you'll do amazing."

I scrunched my nose thinking about what she suggested. I did wanted to live like a normal person. Complete my studies and work in the job area but now probing on it further I almost felt detached to my studies. If it weren't for Jahan in my life, I would have thought about working but now with him I didn't find myself giving attention to anything else. I think love does this to a person. Or maybe it was the comfortability and attachment I had found with him.

" No. I'd rather stay at home and cook for Jahan."

Afaaf knitted her eyebrows together before slowly nodding.

" It's obviously totally upto you. But between all of that, you've done amazing work. I have all my thesis work stored at Abba's house in Karachi. Some day when we visit them, I'll show you mine."

I grinned before leaning against my side. Seeing the woman reach her hand as she placed it over her protruding belly. A soft sigh escaping her parted lips.

" Exhausted?"

" Already. I feel so less productive now."

She said raising her brows and I laughed before turning to her. My nose scrunching in delight as I spoke.

" And I feel so happy now because I'll be taking care of the kitchen from now on."

We shared a soft laugh as we looked at each other. Afaaf's warm hand made its way to mine as she whispered.

" I am so sorry but that'll be a lot of work. I'll make sure you have some help in there."

I gasped at the realisation.

" Yes please!"

Soon Afaaf went up the stairs as she wanted to rest while I collected my journals and stored them in the shelves as Khan Dada had wanted me to do. Evening was falling upon us, when Khan Dada and Dadi Gul Jan got dressed to visit some of the relatives.

I knocked softly on the door, before turning the knob and entering. Green eyes looked at me as Khan Dada smiled before placing his hand on my head. His white beard wiggling as he whispered, only enough for my ears.

" Send her downstairs otherwise she'll tell her relatives that I was the one taking more time in getting ready."

We shared a small laugh as I nodded my head and the old man walked past me with his cane, that ticked against the wooden floors. With the glass of water, I moved farther in the room seeing Dadi Gul Jan move around as she tied her pearl bracelet around her wrist. A crisp blush pink suit adorning her figure and her silver hair folded in a neat bun. Her eyes landed on me and she cracked a smile as I kept the glass on the night stand besides her.

" Arr- Saboohi. It's great that you came. Now tell me should I wear this as well or not."

She pointed towards the matching pearl necklace and I thought for a second before shaking my head.

" No, the earrings look just fine. The necklace would seem too much."

" Hmm."

She pinned another bobby pin in her silver hair and my eyes stared at the necklace lying in her velvet case. My fingers grazing the pearls in admiration of how beautiful it was.

" Your Khan Dada got me this set of real pearls when I came into this haveli. It was those times when he was fairly in love with me. But now-"

She tilted her chin in complain and I hid my smile by engulfing my bottom lip in my mouth. My ears perking up as she continued.

" It's the sixteenth time I reminded him this week that we are invited to my brother's house."

I couldn't help my smile this time as she stood up and draped her veil over her head.

" Men and their love change with time. But then again nothing stays permanent and changes with time. It's only in fate what holds the truth."

My hands cupped my elbows as I ran my eyes over the photo albums around her large room.

" But Khan Dada still looks smitten by you."

I bit my bottom lip leisurely looking at some clicks from her youth. Her back to me as she worked on her antique vanity table.

" Mm. I'd really like to believe that's the truth."

" Oh come on Dadi Gul Jan. I cannot believe that he doesn't loves you. You do love him as well."

I bounced back on her back and looked up at her as she adjusted her neckline and casted her eyes over to me for a brief second.

" Saboohi, when you are under responsibilities love does hide under them and if you don't rekindle it on the right time it keeps hidden even if you try to set things right. It's not only about love. It's also about keeping that love alive. "

My lips twitched and I drew my eyebrows closer.

" Does that mean that yours and Khan Dada's love has been hidden under responsibilities?"

I asked and the old woman turned to me and cupped my cheeks.

" Saboohi, you're very innocent. No it does not mean that our love has been hidden under responsibilities, it means that we've changed the direction of our love to our children, to you. We've dedicated this love to our children and as long as we live it will remain this way."

I was confused and saddened immediately. And I shook my head.

" I don't want this kind of love Dadi Gul Jan. When I get older, would I have to dedicate my love as well? But I want to give all my love to Jahan as long as I live. I wouldn't give it to anyone."

The woman before me titled her head and her eyebrows rose before a smile blew her soft features. Her hand reaching to my head as a blessing just like Khan Dada had done moments ago.

" Then as long as you have time, my child. Keep that love alive. Stay connected to it. Then you'll have plenty of love to give to Jahan and your children."

I smiled at her words but my worry wasn't settled here. She slipped in her comfortable footwear and smiled at me one last time before proceeding out of the door. I squished my lips together and pondered on her words till my eyes fell on her warm shawl. And I snatched it in my hands before running after her.

" Dadi Gul Jan-"

I heaved before carefully skidding down the stairs seeing her at the bottom. Once reaching her, I draped the shawl over her shoulders and she turned to me.

" Oh thank you, Janaa."

She spoke and smiled. Walking besides her now, I thought carefully on my words before uttering them out.

" Dadi Gul Jan, if someone asks about you two getting late. Tell them that you took extra time in prepping up. Maybe it'll be the first step in rekindling whatever you and Khan Dada are losing."

The addressed woman shot her eyes to me and my heart slammed against my chest in fear that maybe I had crossed a boundary. But her round eyes turned glassy and I reached forward to hold her arm but she smiled at me and sort of shrugged her left shoulder. The skin around her cheeks and nose turning pink.

" Thank you Saboohi. That was a lovely advice."

I nodded my head, speechlessly and smiled at Khan Dada from my spot as he waited for his wife at the patio and waved at me. I watched them sharing a word or two before my husband interrupted them.

I watched silently with utmost secrecy and love as he embraced his grandmother before helping her in the vehicle. The black car rolled out of the gates and only then did he walk inside.

The handsome man had his brown jacket in his arms with his messenger bag whilst the sleeves of his shirt were folded upto his elbows. His forearm muscles on display. His amber brown eyes were exhausted and tired. His once perfectly styled hair all messed up as he swiftly walked inside and when his eyes landed on me, he breathed out.

" Hi."

I blushed under his so simple words and the man completely oblivious walked towards the sofas and fell on them. I was left behind with his scent to calm my butterflies and nerves. I rushed to the kitchen firstly and brought him a glass of water, which he chugged down in three breaths.

" Hi Saboohi."

A voice interjected and I turned around to see Zaryaab walk in. His eyes shining as he slumped down next to his cousin.

" Hey."

I said before filling a glass for Zaryaab as well.

" You guys seem tired. Should I heat up the food for you?" I asked already moving to the kitchen. The lady helper worked quicker with me as we set the table for the men. Keeping the last of salad bowl on the table, I went to the hall to call them.

" I'll be up in a second."

Jahan raised his hand and Zaryaab groaned as he scrunched his nose.

" Afaaf wants to go out. It'll be better if I don't eat anything right now."

I smiled before pointing to the stairs.

" She went to take a nap, I am sure she'll be down in a minute."

" Zaryaab at least eat an apple. Come on."

His cousin pressed and I watched as the two men stood up to go to the dining room making me trail behind them. I served food to them and minutes later Afaaf peeped in all dressed up.

" Okay it's time for us to leave."

Zaryaab looked up at his wife in surrender. His hands raising and I bit my smile seeing as Afaaf grinned at him.

" I'll just go and get Mohid ready then."

She said but stepped to pick on the slicked cucumbers.

" Where are you guys going anyways?"

" Down the valley. Afaaf liked the smell of the flowing streams there."

" That's an odd option of spending the evening there. There's barely any light there after sunset."

The men chuckled and I saw as Afaaf flared her nostrils before scoffing.

"No I am serious what's the point of going to that place. Go to the park instead at least Mohid will have something to see."

Jahan chuckled as Zaryaab stood up, wiping his hands.

" You've never had a pregnant woman. You don't know, Jahan."

I felt as if a burst of snow storm draped over us suddenly, chilling our bones. Jahan stilled and his smile dropped. Zaryaab was the first person to tense as he stopped mid step, his chuckle dying away in mere seconds. A lump formed in my throat at the icy-ness that settled within the room, tensing me. Zaryaab's eyes looked ashen at his cousin whilst the man remained unable to move with a stiffened stature.

" Jahan I-"

I had no words to place between the bridge that formed between us. But my heart broke for Jahan. And I remained helpless to say anything. Afaaf who was shocked as well, was sensible enough to compose herself as she nudged her husband in the ribs and looked at Jahan in a teasing way as she spoke softly.

" Hmm but the time isn't very far away when Jahan, Saboohi will make you experience all this as well."

Afaaf giggled lightening up the mood whilst the addressed man lifted the eyes to share a smile with Zaryaab. Zaryaab cracked up in an optimistic smile and encouraged his wife.

" Yes and Saboohi you better have no mercy over him with your mood swings."

The couple laughed out and I turned red with flooding heat. My cheeks burned up as I shifted on my feet.

" You guys should probably go now. Otherwise you'll miss the scene out."

Jahan awkwardly cleared his throat and said. Afaaf nodded as she turned to look at me.

" Saboohi you want to come along."

She asked and I rolled my veil between my fingers before wavering my gaze onto my husband's seeing him as he dug into eating again. I smiled softly at the woman and shook my head.

" No I guess I'll stay home." I shrugged seeing the woman smile and follow her husband out of the room. Afaaf and Zaryaab left with their son a couple of minutes after and Jahan was done with eating. So I cleaned up afterwards and made us tea.

Jahan had freshen up and was now in his t-shirt and sweatpants, sprawled in the hall and I placed the cups on the table and settled opposite to him. He opened his eyes and turned to look at me.

" Saboohi, sit here."

He pointed to besides him and I squinted my eyes and walking over to him. Once seated, he moved up and rested his head on my lap. My heart warmed up and I reached my hand to his hair before caressing his thick strands softly.

" You know I wanted kids with Ronaq. She just seemed to be the most amazing mother, I used to say that to her a lot. We were even deciding names one day."

He chuckled and my heart clenched. My fingers didn't stop as I caressed his hair. And my throat clogged up with the pain he was speaking out. And I let him because God he was the bestest thing that had ever happened to me.

" I told her I wanted to name our child that was a ship name of our names and she was laughing saying that it'll look as if we are obsessed and- and I didn't even knew that my child was growing inside of her."

I watched as he opened his eyes and directed them off in space. I leaned down and pecked his forehead. Too speechless to say anything. And we sat there for a long time listening to the silence.

•

My bangles clinked together as I walked into Dadi Gul Jan's room. Flaunting my white anarkali frock at her, I grinned seeing the woman reciprocate evenly.

" MASHALLAH, it looks very pretty Saboohi."

" And my bangles."

I showed her the gold bangles. And she chuckled.

" You should keep wearing them. Bangles are the signature of married women."

I nodded my head and helped her up from the sofa.

" Dinner is almost ready but could you please check the taste one more time, I think I've boiled the potatoes a little too much."

My lips twitched and she nodded as we walked downstairs. Evening was almost here and I was now anxiously waiting for Jahan to come home. Pacing in the veranda, I looked up seeing Zaryaab walking through the corridor. And I called out.

" Jahan-"

The man turned to me and his shoulders dropped. His green eyes held concern as he walked towards me.

" Saboohi, Jahan and Farzan had to go to the site outside of city, the one Jahan was working on when you guys visited the cabin. There was a gas pipeline burst and they immediately had to rush. I am afraid he won't be back by tonight."

I looked down at the vibrating phone in my hand seeing my husband's name flash against the screen.

" Did he not inform you?"

The looked at the man before me and excused myself before pointing to the phone screen. Rushing up the stairs, I threw my phone on the bed before throwing my dupatta away feeling as if it was choking around my neck. My hands trembled and my stomach churned.

Oh God! Why did he leave?

I felt so hollow suddenly as if I lacked the power to face anyone without him. I had made dinner, everyone was waiting downstairs and here I was. I couldn't even bring myself to walk downstairs. I couldn't even attend the phone to listen to him. I felt so dependent on him. So useless without him physically being here.

And before I knew I was crying because of the anxiety that coiled around my body now.

I felt storm brewing inside of me.

•

I hope you guys checked out "Promise, Boyfriend" it's on my profile.

And I really hope this chapter reaches you in time. 👣

Love,

_Hafsa♥