Another update! It'd been so long since I last wrote for this story, but I'm enjoying it so much again 🥹
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Another two weeks go by after my new life with Namjoon as a full-fledged hybrid truly begins, and I've noticed that he seems to have taken a liking to spending time with my human form more than with my animal one.

He never asks for one more than the other, leaving the decision to however it is that I feel at that moment, and he never makes me feel less loved when I'm one rather than the other, but the imperceptible change has slowly began to pierce through to the surface so that I can observe it.

Whenever I'm in my dog form, he treats me sweetly, he cuddles and kisses my head a lot, he tries to play with me as one would with an animal, but when I'm human, his attention feels different, his touches... lingering, warm, tender.

The way he stares at me is different too, and it's confusing me a little.

He has gone into his secret room only once since he took a break from work, and he walked out looking rather satisfied with himself, only to then give me more cuddles on the couch with me tucked against his chest and between his arms, his lips pressed against my head with a pleased hum.

He would've moved a leg around mine if he'd dared, I'm almost a hundred percent sure of that. He wasn't so good with cuddles when he first brought me here, but now he's getting more confident in getting what he needs and it's nice to see.

Bed cuddles are great, but for some reason, it's the couch cuddles that have gained my heart with him.

There's very little space on the leather furniture so we don't have any choice but to be pressed tightly together to fit in at the same time, and I adore when he holds me like that. It makes me feel safe, loved, like I am his most precious possession.

Yeah, cuddles with Namjoon really are the best.

"You're lost in thoughts, sweetie" Namjoon says, effectively pulling me out of my daydreaming about cuddles, and I drop my head backwards onto his lap from where I'm sat on the floor between his legs, my hair spread out all over him as I stare at him from upside down.

"What were you thinking about?" he asks softly, a hand caressing one of my ears and melting my heart with how gentle he is.

I have to say that he's gotten very skillful with massaging them, and I could be left under the spell of his care all day long if I didn't care for the state of his fingers.

"About you" I answer honestly, and to that he pauses momentarily, eyes round with surprise before he resumes the massage with a passive face that does not hide much from my animal senses, for I hear the way that his heart beats faster.

Hm. Interesting.

"Yeah? About me, sweetie?" he continues, but his voice has gained a slight shakiness to it, like he's anxious to know more. He's not discreet in his intentions at all, it makes my tail thump against his feet with a consistent sound.

"Always about you. I noticed that you treat me differently when I'm shifted" I tell him, and again, he pauses as a stutter attacks his heart, cheeks warming up but eyes looking more fearful than a second ago.

"In a bad way?".

I shake my head. "No, I like it. I just wonder what this change means for you, is all".

Can I allow my heart to hope that this can mean something more? That's what I want to know. I want to know if I can openly love him, or if I need to swallow down my feelings.

I don't want to scare or make him get distant with me by doing too much, I would do anything in my power to make sure he's always comfortable in my presence, so that starts with knowing what he wants from me.

Namjoon swallows thickly, but doesn't answer.

He runs his fingers through my hair, then back to my ears where he combs the red fur softly, more careful now after I told him to not leave any knots behind, that they can be hard to get rid of once they're left alone for too long.

"It means that I like you a lot" he eventually murmurs, and I hum before closing my eyes.

He likes me... the way an owner likes their pet?

"I like you a lot too, Namjoon" I utter back with an achy heart, but he seems to catch on to the disappointment that hides in my tone because he shakes his head, hands cupping my cheeks before he leans down until his eyes are looming over my own and staring back at me.

"Not that way. Not because you're a dog I adopted, but because you're Y/N, my sweet girl. I like when you're a pup, don't get me wrong, but I like when I get to hold you in my arms like this. When I get to touch you, when I get to admire you as you just... exist. I like both sides of you, but in different ways".

I stare at him with stars in my eyes, ears fluttering at his confession, and my tail bounces onto the floor with even more energy than earlier. He likes me?

"Then... does that mean I can love you? Can I show my feelings without being scared that you'll hate me for it?" I ask him in a breathless hush, and his eyes crinkle at the sides before he nods softly, a kiss onto my forehead before he pulls back slightly.

"Anything you want to give, sweetie, I will take gladly. I shall too give what I can, if you would have me?".

I slip my hands over his own to keep them on my face, and I lean into his touch with a relief that makes me crave more of his warmth, because he accepted my love, he gave me permission to love him.

"You don't have to push yourself, Namjoon. Letting me love you is enough" I muse, nose rubbing against his wrist to lather more of my scent over his skin, not that he's ever without vanilla since we spend so much time together nowadays.

I don't want him to feel like he needs to love me just because I love him, and I'm fine with him never making it there too.

I know that Jin believes I'm too gullible and naive to differentiate friendship from romantic love, and maybe he's right, but I don't care. If his way of loving me is through friendship, then I'll make sure to never expect more from him.

I'll do all the loving on my own, until I die.

"I'm not pushing myself" I hear him defend his position as his brows furrow the slightest bit, and I meet his gaze again with a head tilt. What does he mean by that?

He sighs softly at the sight, eyes searching in his mind to find a way to help me understand what he meant in an efficient way.

"I... I want to learn to like you into love, and then love you into adoration, always stronger than yesterday. I can feel it happening already, so I'm not pushing myself. I just want to know that you're alright with me reaching that point with you, because once I make it to love, I won't ever be able to let go of you. I already can't".

I blink slowly, not having expected that at all. He wants to learn to love me... the same way that I love him?

Does he even know what it is that he's telling me by saying those words? How hurtful they can be if taken too lightly? How many hybrids get to hear that from their owners? How many were lied to when told those very same words?

Part of me wants to believe that he doesn't know, doesn't realize, but the other knows that Namjoon doesn't say things like this without thinking deeply about it first. He wouldn't say that unless he's given it a lot of thought already.

Still, I have to wonder if he knows the extent of that promise, because he's a human, and humans don't love like hybrids do.

He's promising me the love of a mate, he's promising me eternal love, something that can never die once it's taken roots. If his love gets too strong, its tendrils will intertwine with my own to link us together not only in hearts but in souls.

Breaking that bond... would not only sever this link, but it would also rip me apart and most likely kill me. I don't know if even Jin knows about that, or what he would do if he did know about the dangers of such a bond.

The world would be terrified if that were globally known.

"Talk to me, sweetie, am I being too much? Am I going over a boundary that I don't know of?".

I sit up straight and out of Namjoon's gentle hold before turning around so I can stare at him face to face, and the obvious worry over his face shows me that he wants to do this right, and because of that, he deserves to know the truth.

It would be selfish of me to not let him know, and it would also be irresponsible.

"You don't know a lot about hybrids, so it's okay, Namjoon. I just... you need to know about the impacts of such a strong love before... and if we make it there" I speak softly, teeth biting on my lips as I do.

It feels so weird to say... it's not something hybrids need to talk about between ourselves, and I don't know if it's ever been talked about with a human before. I doubt it.

"Oh god... I did do something bad, didn't I? Is it something I said?" he says with a frown, heart rate going up in speed as he starts to think back to every words he told me, eyes frantic as he searches my own for an answer that could put an end to his growing nerves.

"No, no it's not that. Not quite" I assure him, though it does nothing to ease him. He keeps his gaze locked on me and I sit on my knees formally, which makes him adjust his own posture for a reason that he ignores. This feels important.

"It's not something humans are taught, so it's not common knowledge. At least, not where I'm from" I start with a deep inhale, unsure of where to begin, or if I should just say it as it is and then try to answer any questions he might have next.

"Mates are not something we're... born with. It's a bond that's made when both sides love each other with all of their heart, with all that they are. If it were just me loving you, as it usually works between hybrids and their owners, it would be fine, but if you intend to love me that strongly too... you have to know what that would do to you, to us".

My tone is wary, and it helps Namjoon to fill in the blanks on his own. "We'd create a bond as mates" he says aloud, realization taking place on his face.

"Yes. But that's not bad in itself, it's what happens when love ends that's dangerous" I continue with a sigh. "A broken bond... it means death for me, that's why I want you to know before we start anything".

Namjoon's breath remains trapped in his lungs, a lump forming in his throat as he stares at me.

He didn't expect that, and yet he should've, for everything suddenly makes sense, everything that he's heard about hybrids in the news so far.

It explains why so many of us end up sick or dead when their owners find a real partner, people who'd apparently held a lot of love for them and couldn't understand what happened.

Namjoon remembers when fellow hybrids would be interviewed, and the faces they'd make as they'd give incomplete verdicts.

This isn't something that the world can know about, else everything would go wrong. For me to tell him right now... he understands that I'm trying to protect the both of us, to avoid a disaster from occurring.

But if it's with me... Namjoon doesn't see why it would have to end as a disaster.

He doesn't want anyone else but me, doesn't need anyone else. He's never gotten so close to falling head over heels in love until now, and he knows it'll never happen again in this life if it's not me.

At the stretched silence, I cast my eyes downwards as I let the information sink into his mind for as long as he needs.

He's not going to want this anymore, of course. It's a lot for a human to learn that loving a hybrid ties you to them for life, or death. It's a lot for a hybrid too, to be loved so much by a being that can stop loving just as fast as they began.

Being loved by Namjoon could also be what kills me one day, if I thought he was capable of it.

"Does it scare you? To be mated to someone like me? Do you not like that?".

I look up at that question to take in the determination in his eyes, and what I see there leaves me speechless. Did that not deter him from his desire to fall in love with me? Does he not think it's too much of a responsibility?

I shake my head, because despite all that I know, deep down, in my heart, I have the unwavering belief that Namjoon could never put me in danger. I know as clear as the sun lights up the world that if he ends up as my mate, he would live up to that title by loving me right until the very end.

"I'm not scared of being mated to you. I'm just afraid that you're going to be tired of me one day" I reply softly, but to that, he quickly makes a denying noise before crouching in front of me on the floor.

"Sweetie, no. All I need is you, I don't need anyone else in this world. I know that's easy to say, too easy a promise to break, but I mean it. If that bond ever takes place, I want you to know that I will cherish you always, that it would be an honor for me".

He takes hold of my hands as he speaks, and I need to blink the tears away as he says words that someone like me should never have the opportunity to hear. This world isn't made for hybrids to be happy, yet here he is changing that truth for me.

"You're too good for me, Namjoon" I finally murmur with a small smile on my lips, and his face relaxes as his body loses of its tension like a river finally flowing after its path was unblocked.

"I'm not too good for you, sweetie, you are too good for me. You're making it easier for me to breathe on this earth, you make being alive into something... fun, rather than challenging and exhausting. If only you could see how much brighter my life has gotten compared to before I met you, you wouldn't look at me like this".

I intertwine my fingers with his, truly at a loss for words.

I didn't know that my being in his life had impacted him so much. It means a lot to me to know that I wasn't a simple... whim of his, that he didn't just get me because he was bored, but because he needed someone by his side.

He needed a new light to get rid of his darkness.

"Let's take our time, then, let's savor this experience as it grows into something beautiful" I murmur for his ears only to hear, and his fingers squeeze around mine before he leans down to kiss them, just like I kissed his hand the last time.

"I would very much like that".

It's a sweet moment that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world, but then Namjoon pauses as he reaches my pinkie, and he frowns before looking up at me, his brain having made another connection about what was said, which I'm entirely not ready to hear when he shares it aloud.

"What about you and Yoongi, Y/N? If a bond is created by loving each other strongly, doesn't that mean you two are already mates?".

Shocked by what sounds like a rather grounded statement, I can only gape at him as he stares back at me with concern in his dragon-shaped eyes.

"Why do you think Yoongi and I would be like that, Namjoon?" I ask him, suddenly feeling nervous as my tail curls around my backside.

He didn't see through my affection for Yoongi, did he? How? I didn't even mention him again after that day when I asked if we could invite him and Jin over, which he didn't either.

He seemed rather pleased that the matter would be forgotten, and I was ready to go along with his wishes regardless of how it made me feel.

"You love him, don't you? And he loves you too, that much was obvious to me when we went to the shelter" he answers like he knows that as the absolute truth, his eyes watching me and my reaction very closely, but my mind is reeling and burning with thoughts that all fight for my attention.

I think back to that day when Namjoon allowed me to see Yoongi at the shelter and how I'd melted in his embrace, how right it felt. Was that reciprocated? Did Yoongi feel the same?

When did I start feeling that way for him? When did I start falling for him?

It wasn't like that when we met for the first time, not until much later as we spent more and more time together every day. Not until Yoongi's behaviour towards me started to change just like Namjoon's has this week-

I stop breathing as this reality of mine finally begins to solidify into truth, like a paper brought over a fire to reveal now obvious curves of dark ink once unseen. How could I not notice?

What have we done?

It happened so smoothly that it hadn't at all crossed my mind as a possibility, but did Yoongi know? If so, why not say anything to me about it? Or did he lose the right timing when Namjoon suddenly adopted me and then gave up? Despite the risks?

My body starts to tremble at the thought that we might have bonded only to be separated, it's putting a new fear into the very core of my soul, because what happens if we're away from each other for too long? What happens then?

"I didn't know, I didn't- I don't want to kill him, Namjoon, I can't" I let out in a small whimper as tears begin to fall down my cheeks, and he immediately leans over to pull me to his chest with a small hush on his lips, brows knitted together as he tries to keep making sense of everything.

Would Yoongi risk dying because we're far from one another? Or is it because I'm afraid that by loving him more, I'd eventually forget enough about the cat to break the bond? What would that do to me, then?

Namjoon first felt jealous of the love between Yoongi and I, but now there's a certain urgency taking place in his heart as he keeps my trembling body in the safety of his arms.

He doesn't hate Yoongi, not nearly enough to wish for such a terrible thing.

Despite his jealously, he found the black cat cute when they played together. Something about that moment felt right, though he couldn't explain it back then. He still can't.

Namjoon isn't in love with Yoongi, he doesn't even know if he could one day develop feelings for him, but he knows without a doubt that he can't be stupid right now.

If he can keep receiving my love, then he'll learn to accept that I can love someone else as well.

As long as it's under his roof, he can tolerate it.

"We'll take care of this, sweetie, don't worry, everything will be fine" he murmurs before resting his forehead onto my shoulder, feeling both defeated by what's to come and determined to make things right.

Had Seokjin known, he probably wouldn't have separated us, so it now falls onto his shoulders to make sure nothing bad happens, considering that the man would agree to let him adopt Yoongi too.

Because he is the cat's owner, right? Or is he not?

If so, doesn't that mean anyone could come and adopt him if he's not fast enough? That would only make things more complicated, and he doesn't think there's any need for that at this point.

Namjoon sighs, then rubs a hand over my back to help me calm down.

He'll just have to hope that he won't regret it, because the outcome seems to be already written for him.