Authors Note: Idk if anyone wants some aestheticy music to listen to while reading this chapter but if you want a song to put you in the mood here's what I was listening to while proof reading.  Enjoy chapter 22 :D

Nicky's PoV

My life was falling apart. Everything I stood for...everything I had ever believed in had been a complete fucking lie. I sat in the back of the room now, trying to act like I was paying attention in the meeting Mikhos had called. He stood there, Gani to his left as he talked to us about something that had happened earlier today. Something about a village maybe? I wasn't really listening. Honestly the time spent throughout the day since I had found out the truth about Edgar and Mikhos had just faded into one long chaotic blur. It was all I could think about. What the fuck was I supposed to do now? Serving Edgar had been all my life had revolved around for years and years. I had been weighing my options. I could tell Mikhos about Edgar's plot and be executed for it...I could not follow through with killing him, then who knew what would happen to Edgar's rebellion. Maybe when the rebellion started I could try to sneak Mikhos out...tell Edgar he was dead and then go join him in hiding. Then there was the final option, stick with the plan and go through with killing Mikhos. That last thing...I knew I couldn't do it. I had no idea how I even had contemplated the idea of it before. How the fuck could I kill him? I probably looked like shit at the moment, I could hardly put together enough words to make a coherent sentence any time someone even tried to speak with me.

"And so in short I'm not going through with the marriage." That snapped me back to reality. The other boys were nodding in agreement.

"Good call," Sullivan said, crossing his arms. "It was wise of you to explore the town first to examine its actual state. Only you would have thought up something like that." Kissing Mikhos's ass at every turn, good to see Sullivan easily still fell back into his old part of the 'Emery entourage' habits. Mikhos nodded.

"You are all my consultants. You all believe this is a good idea, Munny? Aubin?" Both boy's bowed their heads in agreement. His gaze finally fell to me now. "Nicolai?" I shrugged in an attempt to act casual, desperately trying to put enough of the pieces of myself back together again before I spoke so no one would notice anything was wrong.

"Yeah."

"So then we're all in agreement. Tomorrow I will inform the sultan Jaasim that we will be returning home...alone. You are excused." The Kingsmen stood up one by one and filed out of the room. As I went to stand up a hand grabbed my wrist.

"Wait." I didn't even look at Mikhos when he said it, hell I hadn't been able to meet his gaze since he told me what Edgar had done to him out of fear that he would be able to read me. We were alone now, and the room was empty. He obviously could sense something was off with me.

"What is it?" I said slowly. "It's late...I should go to bed." I doubted I would even be able to fall asleep tonight but maybe...just maybe he would buy it.

"You can go to bed in a moment. I want to show you something."

"I really should...I should go back..."

"Nicky..." he stepped in front of me suddenly tilting my chin up with a finger so I was forced to meet his gaze. I could see him searching in it, he probably knew all along I was falling apart. "Nicky please just...come with me." Finally I gave up, bowing my head in defeat.

"Alright."

"Good, follow me." Mikhos guided me through an empty hallway off the main chamber and up a narrow, winding set of stairs. "I discovered this the other night, I thought you might like it." Finally we reached the top of the stairs and stepped out into the warm night air and onto what appeared to be part of the roof. I was confused for a moment.

"Why would the palace have a set of stairs just leading to a roof?" Mikhos smirked slightly grabbing my arm and leading me to the edge.

"That's why." My breathe caught. Below us were the Idorian gardens I had walked in before with Aasiya. From above however I could see the flowers formed an eye shape. And something even more breathtaking...the light from the full moon in the sky was hitting flowers, which I clearly remembered being white when I saw them in the daylight, and causing them to glow a luminescent blue.

"Woah...what are those?"

"Moon flowers. They're extremely rare, I'd never actually seen one before." He sat down on the roof and gestured for me to do the same. Slowly I lowered myself next to him.

"So...what's wrong?" The question took me off guard, I had been so captivated by the flowers I had actually briefly forgotten the horror that had been eating me up all day.

"Nothing's wrong," I blurted out abruptly...way too abruptly to read as truthful.

"Don't fucking lie." His voice was gentler then I expected despite his harsh words. "Nicky, believe it or not out of all the time I've known you I have never seen you this upset. Not even that time you thought I was going to get you kicked out or some shit for punching me. So please...just tell me what's wrong." A half truth...that's all I could give him.

"I can't believe your uncle did that to you...I can't believe anyone would do that to you."

"There's no reason to be sorry. Whatever my uncle did to me saved my life...I was very sickly as a child, I wasn't supposed to live past eight."

"But the mood swings..." he looked startled at that.

"Who told you about that?" He shook his head slowly. "Actually it doesn't matter. I'm sure...rumors have gone around about it. The mood swings were...just a side effect of the trauma I guess. I don't have them anymore, usually. I mean sometimes I still have break downs or attacks like the one you saw the other night. But for the most part I have everything under control."

"Still he tried to kill you...he wanted you dead. He was your uncle and all he wanted to use you for was for some kind of ritual. What was he even trying to do?" Mikhos shook his head.

"I have no idea. I don't think I want to know. Father and Grandfather had all his books burned. They destroyed the chamber he had tried to have the sacrifice in as well. I read somewhere that there's only a few sites where a specific ritual can happen so by destroying it they guaranteed no one could else could ever try and do it again." He gave me a small smile and it made my stomach drop and my pulse quicken. "I'm safe now. Don't worry. It was a long time ago."

"Right...I'm glad. Hey Mikhos...remember when I told you that...I didn't want you to die?"

"Yeah?" I wasn't looking at the flowers now. I didn't care how beautiful they might be. All I could see and think about was Mikhos.

"I promise I'm going to protect you...no matter what happens. I won't let another person ever hurt you again." Mikhos rolled his eyes but he was still smiling slightly. Suddenly he leaned forward and ruffled my hair.

"That's your job idiot." It was taken aback. The gesture was so...un-Mikhos like. My cheeks felt warm and my heart was pounding. His gaze locked into mine and I couldn't help but notice how his skin glowed in the moonlight and how I felt like I could see the stars reflected back at me in those large dark eyes. Mikhos smirked slightly.

"You're staring at me again." I wanted to pry my eyes away but I couldn't. Mikhos reached forward, his fingers brushing gently over the dark spot on my neck and I felt myself shiver at his touch. "You did a shit job of covering this by the way. Everyone is going to see that I marked you." The words tumbled out of my mouth before I even had time to put them together.

"Maybe I want them to." It might have been the lighting but for a split moment I could have sworn I had seen a light flush dust over Mikhos's face. And then...in that moment I suddenly ached to kiss him. I wanted to lean over and brush my lips against his, hold him tightly and feel his body against mine once more. But...I couldn't kiss him. If I kissed him now it would mean something. The realization hit me like a wave and all at once I was drowning in all these feelings I had never felt before. It could never mean something. It would be too painful. He trusted me and I had been planning on killing him for half my life. That aside... he probably had only wanted to sleep with me the night before because I looked like my sister. It really had meant nothing to him, hell he would probably despise me if I tried anything stupid like that. And for a moment I hated the universe. Why the fuck did this have to happen? Why did I have to want someone that I could never have? Out of everyone in the world why did it have to be the false prince?But then I was caught up in him again, caught up in his smile and the stars in his eyes and the moonlight caught up in his hair and I realized...this was enough. I was content to just be beside him like this with him alive and breathing. We just lay next to each other in silence a moment. I shut my eyes, allowing the warm idorian night air to wash over me and trying to let my mind go blank. Suddenly I felt a hand slipping into mine. Without opening my eyes I locked fingers with him. Mikhos's hand felt so small and warm in mine and slowly. I wished I could tell him that I thought he was beautiful...I wished this moment would never end.