HIS SUICIDAL GIRL
❝I met the guy with his smile when my pen started to phlebotomize, and my fate has begun writing a new story.❞

16 - Telling The Truth

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•ZACHREY•

It was ten o'clock in the evening when I reached home. Pagpasok ko sa bahay ay nakita ko kaagad si Mama na naghihintay sa akin sa loob ng bahay.

I was complexed because she looked so fuming, but I tried my best to remain my composure and showed her my respects.

"You arrived late," sabi niya sa akin matapos kong magmano.

"I always arrive at this time, Ma." I placed my bag on the living room table at dumeretso sa kusina para uminom ng tubig.

"Why didn't you come to school kanina?" Nagulat ako sa tanong ni Mama, pero hindi ako nagpahalata. "Naiwan mo ang lunch box mo kaya hinatid ko sa school. Nakita ko si Cj at tinanong ko siya tungkol sa'yo. He said na pumunta ka raw sa ospital kaya ka umabsent."

"Maー"

"Bakit ka pumupunta ng ospital, Zachrey? Sino ba ang nando'n?"

Naloko na. Nagtatanong na si Mama.

Huminga ako ng malalim, at kukunin ko na sana ang bag ko nang inilayo niya iyon sa akin.

"Answer me, Zachrey Mizuno."

"Ma, please," Lumapit ako sa kanya para kunin ang bag ko na inilayo niya sa akin. "pagod ako. Pwede bang bukas na lang?"

Agad kong tinalikuran si Mama at pumunta sa kwarto ko. I even heard her calling my name, but I just ignored her at dumeretso lang sa aking kwarto.

I don't mean to be rude, Ma.

Pagpasok ko ay nilock ko kaagad ang pinto at nag-chat kay Cj.

Reidens ● Active Now

Zachrey Mizuno
| Active Now |
Reidens

Reidens:
Brooooo! I'm very sorryyyyy!!!

Reidens:
Hindi ko naman alam na pupunta si Tita Bernadeth sa school, eh! Sorry talaga at nasabi ko sa kanya na palagi kang absent dahil pumupunta ka sa ospital! But don't worry, hindi ko sinabi sa kanya about kay Xia.

Reidens:
Sorry talagaaaa! Please forgive me, Broooo!

Zachrey:
Hayssst...

Zachrey:
Ayos lang, Cj. Hindi mo naman sinasadya, eh. Tinatanong na nga ako ni mama.

Reidens:
Anong sinabi mo sa kanya?

Zachrey:
Nothing. I can't tell her about Xia. For sure hindi na niya ako papayagan.

Reidens:
Sorry talaga, Brooo! Ano na ang gagawin mo?

Zachrey:
I will never give up on Xia. Gagawa at gagawa ako ng paraan para makapunta ako ng ospital.

Reidens:
What can I do to help, Bro?

Zachrey:
I can handle this, Bro. Sapat na ang pagtulong mo sa'kin sa mga schoolworks.

Reidens:
If you need my help, never hesitate to tell me, okay?

Reidens:
Matulog ka na. Magkita na lang tayo sa ospital bukas. Ako na gagawa ng assignments mo.

Zachrey:
Thanks, Bro. You're the best.

Reidens:
Of course. Swerte mo at naging best friend mo ako KAYA MATULOG KA NA.

*like*

Reidens:
Kamusta nga pala si Xia? Hindi ako nakapunta sa ospital kanina. Si Mama kasi, e! Pinabantayan sa'kin ang kapatid ko. Kainis.

Zachrey:
Hahaha! She's doing fine. May substance na inenject sa kanya kanina.

Reidens:
Substance? What substance?

Zachrey:
A substance that can move her legs without any pain for the time being.

Reidens:
Talaga??!! Effective ba?

Zachrey:
Inoobserbahan pa. Hindi pa rin kasi talaga sure yung doctor.

Reidens:
I see. Pupunta na talaga ako bukas.

Reidens:
Tho, ngl masakit isipin na temporary lang.

Zachrey:
Nasasaktan nga ako na araw-araw ko siyang nakikitang nahihirapan.

Zachrey:
Geh, Bro. Matutulog na ako. Night.

Reidens:
Good night.

Matapos naming mag-chat ni Cj ay dinaloy na kaagad ako ng antok. It was a very long day at the hospital. However, despite being so sleepy ay nagawa ko pa ring mag-isip kung ano ang dapat kong gagawin bukas, and how to bypass Mom's suspicions.

◊◊◊◊◊

"Zachrey, is that you? Ba't nandito ka sa school? Shouldn't you be here?" Nanlaki kaagad ang mga mata ni Cj nang makita niya ako sa kanyang harapan.

"Kung maka-react ka naman, akala mo bumangon ako galing sa ilalim ng lupa," pagbibiro ko. "I decided to come here because I feel like someone's following me."

Napatingin-tingin si Cj sa paligid bago magsalita muli.

"Who's following you?" I shrugged. He nodded. "Kung sino man ang taong sumusunod sa'yo, sinisigurado talaga nila na papasok ka sa school."

I nodded to what he said.

"But we have witnesses now." Kumaway ako sa mga babaeng nakatingin sa amin ni Cj.

He followed where I was looking and waved as well. Then, he turned back to me.

"Alam ba ni Yandere Girl na hindi ka muna bibisita? She might get worried."

"I told Les to just explain things to her kasi umabsent siya ngayon para bantayan si Xia." Cj nodded.

"Then, let's hope things will pan out smoothly."

"Yeah, let's."

Pumasok na kami sa klase pagkatapos naming mag-usap. Tinulungan ako ni Cj na mag-catch up, kaya natapos ko kaagad lahat ng mga na-missed kong mga assignments, projects, and tests.

◊◊◊◊◊

"Zachrey?"

"Ma?"

"You still haven't told me why you missed a lot in class." Seryosong nakatingin si Mama sa akin.

I was silent for several minutes until I decided to just answer her. I needed to pick my words carefully and correctly para maging successful ang pagpapalusot ko.

"Ma," Huminga ako ng malalim. "I just visited a friend."

Tinaasan niya ako ng kilay sabay tanong, "A friend? Is that person really special that you would sacrifice your studies?"

"He is, Ma. I met him when I joined basketball," sabi ko. "I joined basketball while you and Dad were away for many years, Ma, para naman ma-divert ang attention ko kahit papaano."

Naging malungkot ang ekspresyon niya. Na-harsh ko yata ang tono ng pananalita ko. I think I went too far, but it was the truth. Mom and Dad were away for so many years, and I needed to divert my attention to something else to make me feel better.

"Sorry. I didn't mean it that way," sabi ko nang nanatiling tahimik si Mama.

"It's okay, Anak," She gave me a smile. "and I believe you. Basta 'wag na 'wag mong pababayaan ang studies mo."

She walked toward me to give me a tight hug. I hugged back, of course. Even when she locked me in her arms, I still could not help but think if she was convinced deep inside.

◊◊◊◊◊

I was elated because finally, it was weekends. Maagang umalis si Mama dahil may aasikasuhin lang daw siya. Sabi pa nga niya na ayos lang daw kung bibisitahin ko ang kaibigan ko sa ospital.

I don't know if Mama was being sincere, but it doesn't matter.

I changed to start heading to the hospital. Before I knew it, I arrived at the Apollo General Hospital in just a flash. I was about to knock on Xia's hospital room door when I heard someone crying. My heart skipped a beat, so I immediately entered to see what was going on.

Pagpasok ko, nakasubsob ang mukha ni Les sa hospital bed ni Xia, and Xia's hand was on top of her best friend's head. Xia's parents were nowhere to be found. The only people in the room were Xia, Les, the doctor, and me.

Napalingon silang tatlo sa akin, and Xia smiled when she saw me. I was about to ask why Les was crying when the doctor suddenly spoke.

"Oh, you must be Zachrey!" I was flabbergasted to know that she knew my name. "Ah, would you mind if I borrow him for a few minutes, Crystal?"

Xia shook her head.

"No, not at all. Besides," She smiled as she looked at Les. "I still need to cheer my best friend up."

Tumango ang doktor, at bago pa man ako makapagsalita ay hinila na niya ako palabas ng kwarto.

She brought me to the Apollo General Hospital's dining hall. There were only a few people around. Besides, who would even want to eat inside a hospital?

"I'm Doctor Fidji Saavedra. I believe this is the first time we're meeting and talking up close, right?" Tumango ako. Nasa tapat ko siya. To be honest, I could not seem to talk to her. Nahihiya ako, at some point. "I'm still a Ms, young man. I'm single."

Napanganga na lang ako. Napakaimposible naman yata na sa ganda niya na iyan ay single pa siya.

"N-Nice meeting you po..." Napatawa siya ng mahina.

"Don't fret, young man," sabi niya. "Auntie lang naman ako ni Crystal, so chill."

Again, napanganga ulit ako. She's Xia's aunt? Takte! I need to impress her somehow. Baka sabihin niya na hindi ako deserving para kay Xia.

Seriously, what am I thinking now?

"Seriously, can you please stop making a surprised look on your face?" She rolled her eyes. "It's very irksome to a woman like me. Take a deep breath, Kid."

I did what she told me to do.

"Sorry po, Doc Fidji." Whatever the things that we were going to talk about, for sure it was undoubtedly essential.

"Don't worry about it. I know you're just mystified about why I wanted to speak with you privately. But before that," She turned at the counter. "are you famished?"

I quickly shook my head. I ate a lot this morning dahil ipinagluto ako ng marami ni Mama. I did not know why ang daming niluto niya na kaming dalawa lang naman ang kumain.

"Well then," She took a deep breath before talking. "surely you're wondering why Les was crying, aren't you?"

Tumango kaagad ako sa kanya.

"It's... It's because the substance that I developed didn't work on Crystal." There was a short pause, then she looked at me seriously straight in the eyes. "A woman suffering Osteosarcoma is very rare. Crystal's suffering an uncommon disease, and her condition is getting worse than I thought, Zachrey."

Biglang tumigil ang mundo ko. It was like I was the only one here at the dining hall. Naramdaman kong nanginginig ang buong katawan ko.

"Zachrey, I... I developed that substance, and I couldn't even perfect it." Yumuko si Doc Fidji, at narinig ko ang paghikbi niya. At first mahina lang ang kanyang hikbi hanggang sa unti-unting lumalakas.

It was like she was holding her tears for too long.

Napatingin siya sa akin nang bigla kong hinampas ang lamesa. My tears also fell down like it had self-control.

"W-Why does this h-have to happen? S-She's too young f-for this!"

"I know, Zachrey!" Biglang lumakas ang boses niya kaya naagaw namin ang atensyon ng ibang tao na kumakain dito. "I-I'm a professional doctor! I h-have saved many lives, but I can't even save my own niece!"

I don't care... I did not care if the others were looking at us with complex stares. Both of us were crying because we both care for Xia.

"Damn it!" Hindi ko na lang mapigilang mapamura.

"Zachrey..." I was surprised when she reached out to hold my hand. "I know h-how much you love her. I can see it in your eyes. So, p-please... Please don't l-leave her!"

Hinawakan ko rin ang kamay niya. I know how much pain she feels right now. Xia is her niece, alam ko kung gaano ito mas nakakasakit sa kanya ngayon.

"You don't have to tell me that."

Tumango siya, at huminga ng malalim. Sumandal siya sa kanyang upuan at pinunasan ang kanyang mga luha.

"I hate crying. I'm a doctor," she said. "I have to deal with things professionally. I hate to break down in front of my patients, especially to Xia."

Napatango na lang ako. Doc Fidji's eyes were all red. I could see the sadness in her eyes. She reached out to her pocket to get something.

"I still need to inform Crystal's parents," Ang cellphone niya pala ang kinuha niya. "This is arduous."

"Doc Fidji, I want to tell you something." She looked at me, so I looked at her straight in the eyes, too. "Crystal's vigorous, so we must, too. For her. I will do everything for her. She changed and inspired me. She's very special to me."

She gave me a weak smile.

"You changed her as well, Kid." Binalik niya ang cellphone sa pocket niya. "Do you know what was Crystal's reaction when she first learned about her disease when she was seven years old? When Andrea and Scott brought her to the States?"

Umiling ako.

"She was so impassive. Her eyes were empty. It was as if you were talking to a doll... or maybe, a doll's eyes were livelier than hers at that time." Sumenyas siya sa crew na nasa counter at tumango lang ito. Without a doubt, she was already a regular customer. "I idolized her. She was so dauntless."

"If I was in her place, I would prolly feel the same thing." The crew walked towards our table. He placed a pasta and a glass of pineapple juice in front of Doc Fidji. Then, he placed a glass of orange juice in front of me and went back to the counter. "If only I was the one who was in her place."

"Unfortunately, you're healthy." Nagsimula na siyang kumain ng pasta. "Just think of yourself as a man whom the mysterious lady luck chose to side with."

Indeed, I am lucky kasi wala akong malubhang sakit. But, "It's true that I'm lucky, but I can't stand seeing Xia suffer."

She stopped eating for a while, then smiled at me.

"You changed her," she said. "She never cried even before and after her treatment. Crystal never shed tears, but she cried the day I told her about the substance. She wanted to live a little longer to spend more time with you, Zachrey."

I was surprised by what she said. She continued eating again and swallowed her food so that she could continue talking.

"Believe it or not, Crystal's not the type who cares about life before. That's the reason why she was detached and cold when she heard about her disease. She was exactly as I described, but dauntless. I can say it many times."

Ininom ko ang orange juice ko.

"However, when she met you, she changed a lot. She learned how to cry because of you." Doc Fidji smiled at me. "Because of you, she started to care about her life."

Dahil sa sinabi niya ay napatahimik ako. I would not waste any more time.

Tumayo ako at nginitian si Doc Fidji sabay sabi, "Okay lang po ba kung puntahan ko na si Xia?"

"I won't stop Romeo from seeing his Juliet."

◊◊◊◊◊

Dahan-dahan kong binuksan ang pintoan. Pagpasok ko ay si Xia na lang mag-isa at nanonood ng anime.

"Hey. Your parents aren't here, yet?" Lumapit ako at kumuha ng upuan para umupo sa gilid niya.

"Nope. They're busy," she answered, still looking at the T.V.

"Where's Les?"

"Cj was here, so I let him take her home," she replied, still not looking at me. Why won't she look at me? "Anyway, have you seen this anime?" she asked in a soft and childish voice.

"Unfortunately." Kumirot ang puso ko nang makita ko na Shigatsu wa Kimi no Uso, or most commonly known as Your Lie in April ang pinapanood niya.

Yes, just because I am a boy does not mean I cannot cry with such a beautiful, yet sad ending anime. Sa mga nanood na hindi umiyak, then good for them.

"I can see myself in Kaori. She is ravishing, babbly, cheerful, and..." Finally, Xia turned to face me, and her eyes were so blue that it was sort of crushing my entire system. "Regrettably, both of us are suffering from a very serious disease."

Napalitan kaagad ng lungkot ang aking nararamdaman. I looked at Xia's face, and she was like an angel who fell down to the earth. Hindi niya deserve lahat ng sakit na ito. Napatingin ulit ako sa T.V.

"But Kousei was lucky to have her, right? They both love each other," I averted my gaze from the T.V and looked at her. "and the man on your side right now is elated to be with you."

Napatigil ako nang makita ko kung paano tumulo ang luha ni Xia. I stood up immediately to wrap her around my arms.

"I will always stay by your side, Xia. No matter what. I want to spend my whole life with you for as long as it takes." I hugged her even tighter. "I'll do my best to be the clear blue sky that you wanted, Xia."

"You k-know you can't do that." Kumalas ako para tingnan siya. "You'll live, and I'll die, Zachrey. Just share that clear blue sky with someone else who deserves to see it more than I do with a longer time to live."

Napapikit ako sa aking mga mata habang hinahayaan ko lang siyang umiyak sa balikat ko. Basang-basa na ang t-shirt ko dahil sa luha niya.

"I've thought about walking down the aisles with you waiting on the altar... I thought about walking down the aisles with that favorite song I've always wanted to hear... But I just can't live that long with you, Zachrey. It's just an impossible story that will always remain in my wildest dreams untold," she uttered between her cries. "I just... can't be the girl that can glamorize your world."

Hindi ko na nakayanan pang marinig ang pag-iyak niya. I touched her face and wiped her tears.

"I love you for who you are, Xia. You are not my world, but my universe. If you are the living Kaori Miyazano, then I will be your living Kousei Arima until the epilogue of this story."

◊◊◊◊◊

Gabi na nang makarating ako sa bahay. Pagdating ko ay nakaupo si Mama sa sofa. I could not seem to understand her expression, pero nagmano pa rin ako. I was going to turn a blind eye at pupunta na sana ako sa kwarto nang bigla siyang magtanong.

"Sa'n ka galing, Zachrey?"

"Sa ospital. I visited my friend, reー"

"Who is Crystal Xiamin Sandoval?" Natigilan ako sa tanong ni Mama.

"Were you stalking me, Ma?" Naloko na. Ayaw kong magalit sa kanya.

"I've every right to know everything you're doing, Zachrey." Tumayo siya at nilapitan ako. "Why did you lie to me, huh?! Who is Xiamin, and why are you sacrificing your studies just for her?!"

What the? Ang highblood ni Mama. Dapat pa nga ako ang magalit kasi sinundan niya ako.

Since there was nothing else to do, I just decided to tell her the truth.

"She's someone very precious than a shining diamond to me, Ma," I answered. "and for your information, not even you can stop me from seeing her."

"Oh, really? So, you love this girl you're talking about?" She laughed sarcastically. "Do you even have any idea what love is?"

"I do, Ma, and that's being with Xia."

"You must be crazy now, Zachrey! How could you fall in love with a very sick girl who probably has no chance of living for very long!"

Takte. May "sick" na, may "very" pa. Nasasaktan na nga ako dahil sa sakit ni Xia, inemphasize pa talaga ni Mama ang "very". Edi, redudant na ang sakit na nararamdaman ko!

"Don't talk to her like that, Ma!" Hindi ko na rin napigilan na pagtaasan siya ng boses.

"Ah, so tataasan mo na rin ako ng boses ngayon?! Nawawalan ka na ba talaga ng respeto sa'kin? Is that what that girl taught you?!" Mas lalo akong na-offend sa sinasabi ni Mama ngayon.

Why is she being like this? It was so unlike her.

"Leave her out of this! Kung tinataasan man kita ngayon ng boses, it's just because of you not being able to understand how I feel, Ma!" Para hindi ko na mapagtaasan ng boses si Mama ay tumalikod na lang ako para pumunta sa kwarto ko.

"I'll let your dad know about this and trust me, there will be consequences."

"Then, go ahead! I won't stop you, Ma, kaya 'wag mo rin akong pigilan na makita si Xia!"

After arguing with my mother, I quickly entered my room and locked it.